


How to Save a Soul

by TheArchimage



Series: If We Fall Down [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Chara Does Not Remember Loads, Chara Is Not Evil, Chara Needs a Hug, Child Neglect, Color Coded Magic, Dyslexic Frisk, Frisk Is Not Evil, Ghost Chara, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Narrator Chara, Non-Binary Chara, Non-Binary Frisk, Red Is Love, Self-Hatred, Temporary Character Death, They're Both Trying to Be Good Kids, Undertale Pacifist Route, headcanons, suicide ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2018-10-19 02:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 169,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10630479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheArchimage/pseuds/TheArchimage
Summary: Chara awakens in a field of flowers deep in the Ruins. Weren't they supposed to be dead? Instead they form a tenuous alliance with a human invader, promising to help them through the Underground if they will shatter the barrier. So begins a tale of an unlikely partnership and an even unlikelier friendship.(BONUS! Annotations chapter added after the story!)





	1. The Human Child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a new human.

Asriel barely made it back to the garden before he collapsed. He dropped the human body he was carrying and it rolled once before coming to a stop. Through panting labored breaths he said, “I’m sorry, Chara. I… I screwed it all up. You had a plan and I ruined it. Can you ever forgive me?” He coughed, white dust covering the bare soil.

Oh Asriel. He still did not understand and there was no more time to explain. Their emotional defenses meant nothing. They could not, not when their souls were so close, but that was fine after all. Let him see what his friend was really like. Allow him to understand at long last he never should have gotten close to them. He should have left them where he found them.

Slowly, starting from their head, an electric jolt worked its way down their entire body. It exploded into thousands of jabbing knives, and it was all Chara could do to keep from screaming. Even through the haze of pain they noticed Asgore and Toriel rushing into the room. They had made it just in time to watch their son die.

They still had enough time for one act of penance. They had to tell them. They had to know, at the very least, what kind of person their son was. They took control of the mouth and as quickly as they could tried to tell a story to their parents in Asriel’s voice: “Mom, Dad. Chara died. I took their soul and-”

“Hush,” Asgore said, holding Asriel’s head in his massive hands. “It’s alright now, you’re going to be fine. Just fine.” His eyes flicked over to Toriel, who was pushing her healing magic to its limit with tears in her eyes. It was not working. They could see it in her hopeless eyes and feel it in their disintegrating body. Asriel was yelling, trying to ask what they were doing and what they were trying to tell them, but they shut him out. There was not much time, maybe not enough time, but if they could just stay determined a little longer…

“I wanted to bring them to the flowers they loved, the ones they wanted to see. But the humans… they must have thought I killed them and attacked. I could have destroyed them all, I know I could have, but… I didn’t. Please, if nothing else, remember… I didn’t fight back.”

That was it. That was all the strength they had. They felt their and Asriel’s body splitting and breaking apart, each individual particle exploding in pain. A pang of regret hit them and they realized it was not enough after all. So little could not make up for such a great crime. So the demon prayed for the first time in their life. If there was a god listening, please help Asriel. They deserved whatever they got but Asriel was innocent. He did not deserve death. They would accept any punishment, endure any torture, put up with anything, just please, _please_ save Asriel…

* * *

The transition happened between blinks. One moment Chara’s entire body had been in searing agony, and the next they were on their back and feeling lightheaded while staring up at the faraway roof of a cave. This was not unexpected, in fact they would have been surprised to find anything but stalactites hanging over them. They held their hand up to their face, opening and closing it a few times. There was no muscle weakness or strain or even the stiffness one would get from a long rest. Even the pain they had been feeling moments ago had vanished completely, hardly even a memory. They sat up to look at their surroundings. They were lying in a thick patch of golden flowers in the middle of a clearing, grass along the edges fading into drab gray stone and debris. Far above moonlight shone in through a very familiar hole in the cave roof. Half-destroyed columns rose into the air, the tops missing from any which had not been knocked over long ago. They were in the Ruins, in the deepest part of the underground. How had they gotten all the way here? And where had the flowers come from? These flowers had never grown down here before, they were absolutely sure of that.

As they took in the scene they noticed the flower stems poked up from beneath their hands, making it appear as though the blooms had been planted under their skin and were now growing between their joints. They waved their hand experimentally through the buds, and the petals failed to give at a touch. A brief memory of their dream of incredible pain surfaced, this time with the realization that it had probably not been a dream. So, this was the afterlife. Rather underwhelming by their opinion. But they had said “anything”, even though they had no expectation someone else had upheld the other end of the bargain.

Now that they were aware of their post-life state they took stock of themself. They were wearing their usual clothes, the same ones they had died in: a one-size-too-big green sweater with a single yellow stripe across the bottom of the ribcage and dark brown shorts with long black stockings underneath. Their shoes were simple brown canvas, nothing too flashy or high-quality but given the lack of demand it was hard to find a decent cobbler anywhere in the Kingdom of Monsters. Their hands went to their throat to check if something was still there. Their fingers found a pendant on a thin golden chain; the pendant itself was a heart hung upside down with the words “Best Friends Forever” faintly etched into it. They were immeasurably relieved it had made the trip.

They heard a rustling coming from a dark shape nearby. Chara stood and walked over to get a better look but recoiled once they had gotten it. A human was lying among the flowers and beginning to stir. Judging from the size, and of course by the lilac-stripe-on-blue turtleneck, they were a child but Chara could not guess their exact age. Seven, maybe eight? Younger than Chara, definitely. They had an olive skin tone and unruly chocolate brown hair that looked like it would sooner devour a comb than be tamed by it. Their cargo shorts came to just above their knee, and Chara could have sworn one pant leg was slightly wider than the other. The back of their hand sported a bandage with cartoon characters on it, at least a day old judging from the layer of grime on the edges. “A human?!” Chara asked with clear disgust, but quickly snapped a half-smile in place. “Decided to just _drop_ in, did you?”

The child did not pay them any mind. Instead they groaned as they sat up and looked around just as Chara had a moment before. They kept their eyes closed but glanced about as though they could see perfectly, except their gaze slid right past Chara. They knelt down and touched the flowers they had fallen on, testing the softness of the soil. Chara tried again, “The least you could do is say ‘hello’.” Still no response. “Are you ignoring me? Or-” Chara stopped shouting and their grin faded as a thought came to them. “… Can you really not hear me?”

The human stood up and brushed themselves off, confirming they had no serious injuries. They looked up, toward the hole they must have fallen down from, and sighed deeply. Then they walked right past Chara without noticing them, towards the hall leading to the rest of the ruins.

Chara watched the other child leave. Should they go with them? No… they still needed a moment to collect their thoughts. There was only one path to take, so they could catch up to them soon if they changed their mind. It was not as though there was a chance of getting lost.

Chara felt an invisible wall push against their back. Their feet provided no traction on the floor, so they could not put up even token resistance as they were gently but inexorably pushed into following the child. “Hey, wait!” They complained to the invisible, anonymous force. “I don’t want to follow them! I don’t even know who they are!” Their pleas went unheeded, and after a brief moment of defiance Chara accepted their fate with an exasperated, “Fine!” They ran to catch up, slowing to match the child’s pace once they were abreast. The child had their head tilted down, a troubled expression on their face and jaw clenched. Chara briefly wondered what their story was. They must have climbed Mt. Ebott like Chara once had. That mountain with the legend, “Travelers who climb Mt. Ebott never return.” There were not very many reasons why a child would be there, and none of them were pleasant. They felt a pang of sympathy for the kid, but this was tempered with a profound dread. They were still a human and that meant they were incalculably dangerous to every monster here.

In a short time they came to the next room. It was meticulously clean and free of debris, in fact it was clear of almost everything. A single flower, almost identical to the flowers in the room they just came from, sprouted from a patch of bare floor. The flower was a bit larger than normal and… was that a face on its floral disc? “Howdy!” the flower spoke, revealing it was indeed a face. Both Chara and the human leapt backward, Chara reflexively shielding their chest with their forearms. The flower continued speaking while keeping their eyes trained on the human, “My name is Flowey! Flowey the Flower! You’re new to the underground, aren’tcha?” The human nodded cautiously. “Boy, you must be so confused! Someone ought to teach you how things work around here. I guess little old me will have to do!” With an almost audible click the atmosphere changed: Chara felt something like static electricity wash over them, and the human child gasped as a bright red heart appeared in the middle of their chest. They looked down and poked at the heart experimentally. That fool, did they not realize a talking flower was not normal even for the underground? And the appearance of their soul was a sure sign the monster was preparing their magic. But of course they would not know any of these things, and there was nothing Chara could do about their ignorance anyway. The flower continued, “That is your SOUL, the very culmination of your being. Your SOUL is weak, but it can grow strong if you gain a lot of LOVE! You want some LOVE, don’t you? Don’t worry, I’ll share some with you! Down here, LOVE is shared through… little white friendliness pellets.” Oh, so the flower was going to play a little prank on the human. Chara chuckled as the human child watched in fascination, completely believing Flowey’s outrageous lie. If the human was going to look down on monsters like this, they deserved to be taken advantage of. The flower said, “Move around! Catch as many as you can!” It threw a handful of white bullets into the air to sprinkle down from above. Chara hid a mischievous grin behind their hand and watched a single bullet slowly float toward the child. Being a ghost was bad enough, no one being able to see or hear them was worse, and being stuck with a human of all things was just insult to injury. They could really use the laugh. Besides, it was not as if a single bullet to the palm was going to seriously hurt the kid or-

At the last moment before touching the child’s outstretched hand, the ‘friendliness pellet” curved around and multiplied its speed tenfold, slamming into the center of the child’s soul with enough force to lift them into the air. Spittle and blood flew from the child’s mouth, a cry of pain and betrayal vanishing without the air needed to give it life. Chara did not have to imagine how much it hurt; at the moment of impact a geyser of pain erupted in their own chest, stealing their breath and nearly knocking them over. The child hit the floor and rolled, ending up sprawled face-down. They struggled to lift their head but only succeeded in making a pained whimper.

Chara was already running towards the fallen human, trying to grab them under the arms but of course their hands just went through their shoulder. They looked at Flowey and channeled their pain into a scream, “What the hell are you doing?! You hit them in the soul, don’t you know how dangerous that is for a human?!”

The flower grinned sadistically at the pitiful child, ignoring Chara entirely. Could Flowey not hear them either? “You idiot,” it mocked. “In this world, it’s _kill_ or _be killed_. Why would anyone pass up an opportunity like this?” Chara felt their throat close up as the flower prepared a finishing blow. Bullets materialized all around the child, leaving no place to run or hide. “Die.”

The flower was really trying to kill them. A _monster_ was seriously trying to _kill_ a _human_. It was like watching a rabbit behead a full-grown tiger in one stroke, so far outside the natural order and all their life’s experience they could not even process it. One thing was for certain, they could not just watch this happen. The human could die on their own time but they would not allow a monster to become a murderer. Chara tried to grab onto the human once more, but still their hands passed right through them. Would shielding them with their own body work? No way, there were too many bullets from too many angles, and Chara was unsure whether bullets could even hit them right now anyway. Fighting back was no good either, they did not have a weapon and it was very doubtful whether they could throw a single bullet. They could not even beg for mercy if the flower could not hear them. Chara bit their lip. Was there really nothing they could do?

Flames erupted from the ground all around the child, knocking the bullets out of the air. Chara looked through the fading embers to see a stream of fireballs chase Flowey away. In the direction the fireballs came from was a person, or more correctly a monster. The monster shook its head and lamented in a feminine voice, “What a miserable creature, torturing such a poor, innocent youth.” Chara knew that voice. It had not even been a day since they last heard her, there was no mistaking it. Their guess was proven correct as a figure of a monster with floppy ears, tiny horns, and a religious-looking dress stepped out from the shadows. “Do not be afraid, child. I am Toriel, the keeper of these ruins.”

“Toriel!” Chara shouted. It was her. Toriel Dreemurr, the closest thing they had ever had to a real mother. They felt a surge of relief as they rushed towards her and said, “Toriel, I can explain. W-well, no I can’t. I don’t know what’s going on or why I came back or-”

Toriel walked right through them to tend to the fallen child. Chara let their hands fall to their sides. So that was it. No one could see them, no one could hear them. They could not affect anything. They could not even get more than a few feet away from this human invader. They were powerless and helpless. This was one of those deeply cruel hells, they decided, one specifically tailored to the worst fears and weaknesses of its prisoner. _You finally have what you wanted, Chara_ , they mentally berated. _You are perfectly safe and nothing in the world can hurt you ever again. Is it everything you imagined?_ They felt the pain in their chest vanish, replaced by a cold and spiky mist like menthol or peppermint as Toriel healed the child. Toriel and the child had a conversation, but Chara ignored most of it. They slumped against the wall and collapsed, chuckling softly even though nothing about this situation was funny.

Toriel grabbed the human by the hand and said, “Right this way, my child.” Good, at least the child would be safe. Toriel would make sure nothing happened to them. No reason for them to be around at all, then. No reason for them to have come back in the first place.

The child slipped their hand loose from her grip. When Toriel looked at them they shook their head. “I… need a moment. Alone.” The child spoke haltingly and quietly as though ashamed of their own voice.

Toriel paused. “My child, I do not think that flower will return. Even so, I do not like the idea of leaving you alone before I have taught you how to stay safe here in the Ruins.”

The child evaded her gaze. “I have to… use the little human’s room?”

Toriel blinked, either not catching the human’s deception or not minding. “Oh, privacy. Of course, take a moment. I will be in the next room, just raise your voice if you need anything at all.”

The human watched Toriel disappear through the archway. Once they were sure she was gone they stretched their arms over their head, their sigh split into two distinct halves like they were telling themselves, “O~kay!” The child turned to look straight at Chara and even held out their hand for a shake. “Hi.”

Chara quickly rubbed their eyes, telling themselves that of course the child had not noticed they had been crying, that would have been mortifying. “How long have you been able to see me?”

The child winced as they answered, “Since the flower hit me, I guess?”

Damn it, in that case Chara probably had to let them off the hook for ignoring them earlier. They were not altogether pleased to only be able to speak with the human, but following silently while everyone else was unaware of their presence was… distinctly uncomfortable in ways they would rather not think upon. They rose to their feet, taking a breath to recover their composure. “I see. In that case, greetings. I am Chara. I… am a ghost, and I am haunting you.” They did not strictly know that was true, but it was the best working theory they had so far.

“Thanks for trying to save me, Chara. I’m Frisk.” Frisk flexed their fingers, their arm still extended.

Chara looked at the offered hand pensively. After a pause they asked, “Do you not know what a ghost is?” They waved their hand through Frisk’s several times, passing through it like one or the other was not there. “I am incorporeal. I cannot shake your hand.”

“Oh.” Frisk seemed genuinely disappointed as they pulled their hand back. They rubbed their elbow as they looked for a way to keep the conversation going. They looked up at Chara and made a few odd hand gestures but their hands fell back down at Chara’s blank stare. “Um… Do you always smile like that?”

“I try to.” Chara wore their smile like a mask to protect themself, and it had served them well despite its obvious shortcomings. Their mouth was thin-lipped and sarcastic, and combined with their red half-lidded eyes made them look scheming or even threatening. But as long as they had the presence of mind to keep it up no strangers ever bothered them and people who knew them well knew not to ask how they felt. The smile made it clear no honest answer would be forthcoming. “Any other questions?”

The child thought for a moment. “What are your pronouns? Ah, it’s they/them for me.”

Oh. They had nearly forgotten gender-neutral pronouns were not the default on the surface. Life among monsters really had spoiled them. “Understood. If you have cause to refer to me in the third person I also use they/them. For I am neither male nor female, but a demon.”

Frisk tilted their head, clearly unsure if they should accept that at face value. After a moment they apparently decided to let it go. “Okay, one more. Do you know how to leave? I have to go back home. They’ll be worried by now.”

“There is no easy way out, so it might be some time before you can go home. You’re old enough now to learn the value of delayed _grotto-_ fication.” The child made no response to the pun. Not a groan, not a chuckle, just the same deadpan expression. Did they not get it, or were they deliberately ignoring it? Either way it was troubling. “Anyway, much as I would prefer not to we should get used to each other too. I get dragged along behind you, so you can’t leave me and I can’t leave you. So I can only ask you to put up with my presence for a little or a long while.”

Frisk made a face. “What if I really do have to… you know, use the little human’s room?”

Chara waved them off. “Oh, no concern about that. Monster food is made of magic and absorbed fully by the body, so there is no waste. There are no bathrooms in the underground because nobody needs them.”

The human perked up. “Really? That’s… that’s pretty cool.” They fidgeted a bit before asking, “If you see something else I should know, could you maybe tell me? I-If it’s not too much trouble.”

“You mean, be your tour guide or something?” Chara was not in any way enthusiastic about doing a human favors. Still, it would not require any real effort on their part. And as long as they were being honest with themself that flower had rattled them. If it popped up again Frisk could really get killed down here. And there was obviously some connection between the two of them; Chara had to stay close to Frisk and even felt their pain when Flowey hit them. What would happen to Chara if Frisk died? The possibility of their own death did not bother them so much, after all they were more than halfway dead already, but their curiosity would not sit well if they did not figure out why they came back and what was going on before dying again. If they had to cooperate with a human for a while in order to collect more information that would be a relatively small price to pay. “Very well. On the condition you do not tell anyone about me, do not talk to me when there are other people listening, and most especially do not mention my name to anyone. I would prefer it if no one else realized I was here. I assume you also have a vested interest in not being seen as crazy.”

“Okay. Um, you too. It’s hard for me to listen to two people at once.”

“A reasonable accommodation,” Chara said. “Very well, I shall not speak to you when you’re speaking with others. I will start my part of the bargain with this: monsters are not your enemy. I realize you may have some suspicions about them because of that flower. But monsters, especially Toriel, are much kinder than humans. She in particular will never, ever hurt you.”

“Oh, did you know Toriel back when you were alive?” Frisk asked, sounding out her name in over-enunciated syllables, To-ri-el. “You called out to her so I thought-”

Chara flinched. The kid was awfully perceptive in all the most inconvenient ways. “I don’t want to talk about that.”

Frisk held their hands up apologetically and let the subject drop. “We should go. She’s been waiting for us.” They walked through the doorway and Chara followed close behind, subconsciously timing their pace to match. They were still confused and worried, but knowing at least one person could talk to them was better than wandering aimlessly, even if that one person was a human. Hopefully things would start making sense soon. At worst they would be back at the castle in a couple hours, they would have plenty of time then to plan their next move.

* * *

When they caught up to Toriel she was standing in front of a closed door. “As we go through the Ruins, you will notice many puzzles like this one,” she said, gesturing to her left. There were several pressure plates embedded in the floor, a lightly-colored path painted over and through the center plate. “They were once a security system, but now they have become something of a tradition in the Underground. Many times your path may be blocked and you will need to solve the puzzle to proceed. Please familiarize yourself with the sight of them.” Frisk winced noticeably and looked at the arrangement of switches, clearly lost.

“Oh?” Chara’s smile became a bit smug. “You aren’t good at puzzles? Well, it’s a good thing you have me along. My skills are quite advanced, if I say so myself. I will lend my aid to solve them for you. Since I like puzzles I will not charge you extra for this service. You should be thankful.” They were quite familiar with Toriel’s sense of puzzles especially. She liked to utilize architecture and perspective in her puzzle design, which was a fancy way of saying ‘just pay attention to the color of the floor and you’re 90% of the way to solving it’.

Chara’s assistance turned out to be unneeded; the puzzles placed before them were extremely simple, and even then Toriel would solve them on their behalf. Frisk would walk past the signs without stopping, though with their eyes closed it was hard to tell whether they were reading the signs as they approached or ignoring them entirely. Once a Froggit tried to approach them, but a single glare from Toriel made it inch away, head tucked into its chest. Other than that the only “fight” they had gotten into after the flower was with a training dummy Toriel convinced Frisk to try to talk to. It was not much for conversation, but Toriel seemed pleased.

After several rooms Toriel handed Frisk a cell phone. “I must leave you for a time, child. Please stay here and wait patiently for me. Do not run off ahead, there are more puzzles I have not explained yet and I would hate for you to get hurt. I will see you again soon.” Then she hurried through the doorway and deeper into the ruins.

“Finally,” Chara said once the sound of Toriel’s footsteps faded. “Now, what do you say we do a little exploring on our own?”

Frisk toyed with the cell phone, their face unreadable. “She said to wait here.”

“We’ve got better to do than just sit around, she’s just worrying too much. I can deal with the puzzles and monsters won’t hurt you. Don’t be such a crybaby about it.” That line had always worked well against Asriel, but it seemed strangely ineffective on Frisk. One thing was for sure, Chara was not going to wait here idly. There was nothing to do here. They would go mad from boredom, but they could not go anywhere without Frisk. They changed tactics: “You can’t just do what she says. You heard her just now, she wants you to be able to take care of yourself. That means knowing when you can ignore her instructions. And trust me, this is definitely one of those times.”

The human considered this before putting the phone into their pocket and nodding. Chara walked through the doorway first, Frisk following just behind.

The ruins themselves were much as Chara remembered. All the walls and floors had been repainted in purple hues but nothing had been repaired or renovated. Everything had the dank, musty smell of stale water. Chara never really liked the Ruins, and the attempted makeover failed to change their opinion. There were a few monsters hanging about, most of whom were either ignoring them or in Whimsum’s case were utterly terrified of them. More could be heard shuffling from just around the next corner or just beyond the next shadow. It was impossible to tell whether they were being stalked or avoided. Odd, they thought, monsters had been incredibly curious about them when they fell down and they had never satisfied that curiosity. Shouldn’t monsters be just as interested in a fallen human now as then?

A passing Froggit croaked at them and Chara translated, “He says he knows you’re a human and offers some advice. If you act a certain way during a battle a monster might not want to fight anymore. He asks you to show mercy if that should happen.”

“All that in one ribbit?” said Frisk.

“It was a very complex and nuanced ribbit.”

The human had an expression on their face like they were unsure whether their guide was having a laugh at their expense, but they did not press the issue.

In a nearby side room they found a bowl of candy on a pedestal with a sign pasted on it. Frisk put their face close to the sign and poked at it. “Sorry, my eyes are still a little fuzzy. What does it say?”

Chara read out loud without complaint: “The sign says, ‘Please take one’. Take a piece of candy?”

Frisk dutifully obeyed the sign. After a moment’s thought they took a second piece. “I’m taking yours for you,” they said unconvincingly.

For a moment they looked like they were about to take more. Chara stopped them with a sneer, “You took more candy. How disgusting…” It was said with a playful tone and with a twinkle in their eye, but it did little to soften the blow. The human child’s hand retracted and they stowed their two candies in their shorts pocket, head down.

They had hardly taken a step out of the room when a different waist-high frog approached Frisk. “Oh, another Froggit,” Chara explained. Frisk waved and opened their mouth to say hello, but stopped when the Froggit tensed and glared at them. Several flies appeared and sped towards Frisk as a bright red heart appeared in the middle of their chest. “Those are bullets,” Chara said in disbelief. “It’s attacking you! Get out of the way!”

Frisk was taken off guard; they stumbled to the side but just a touch too slowly as a fly crashed into the back of their left hand. It burst with a small pop on contact, and as it did so Chara felt a sympathetic twinge of pain in their own hand. Frisk nearly cried out but managed to bite it back with a grunt. They clenched and unclenched their left hand a few times, rubbing the spot the fly bullet had landed. They carefully watched the Froggit, waiting for the next attack to arrive. “You said they wouldn’t hurt me,” they said as a statement of fact but it still sounded like an accusation.

“Something is wrong.” Their smile held but there was a concerned edge to it now. “Monsters can sometimes be dangerous by nature or carelessness, but no monster I ever met would intentionally attack a human.”

“It’s attacking me right now!” Frisk sidestepped another fly-shaped burst of magic which popped against the floor. It was weak and straight and slow, but for all that it would still hurt if it hit and Frisk could not dodge forever.

“You’ll have to convince it to stop.” They saw a sudden vision of Frisk with balled fists punching the Froggit and reducing it to dust with a single blow. “But don’t hurt it!”

“Wasn’t gonna. But what can I do?” They balanced themself on the balls of their feet, bouncing slightly. For someone so young they had surprisingly good combat instincts. Or maybe they were just naturally athletic.

“Threaten it?” That earned Chara a sour look. “Then do the opposite and say something nice to it.”

Chara was unsure whether it was desperation or naivete which made Frisk follow that advice, but they gathered their courage and said, “Uh, hey, I think your… bullets are, neat?”

The Froggit halted in its tracks and croaked softly, getting a deep blush in its oversized cheeks. Chara translated, “You complimented Froggit. It doesn’t understand what you said but it’s flattered anyway. Seems like it’s finally noticed you aren’t firing bullets back too.” The Froggit bowed once, left some money on the ground (as an apology, Chara wondered?), then hopped away.

Frisk watched the Froggit leave, then turned their head quickly from side to side. It was unclear whether they were looking for other attackers or a hidden camera. “Wh… what was that?”

Chara explained, “Monsters cannot maintain an interest in fighting with someone they do not want to hurt. If you can befriend them, or distract them, or even just bore them they will stop attacking you. You did take a hit, though. Are you alright?”

Frisk shook the feeling back in their hand. “I’ll be okay. But what were those things it was shooting?”

Chara sighed. “If I had known you would be in danger I would have told you about this earlier. The short version is, monsters can communicate with each other using bullets. To do that they have to expand their personal field of magic, also called their aura, so the person they want to speak with is caught within it like a pseudopod.” Frisk gave them a blank look. _Simpler, Chara, you’re going to lose the kid if you insist on showing off your vocabulary._ “Monsters have an invisible arm they have to touch you with to throw bullets at you. You can’t see it, but you’ll know when you’ve been touched because you’ll get that tingly feeling and your soul will appear.” Frisk nodded, a little more confident with this explanation than the last. “Anyway, bullets will do hardly anything to a monster but they can be dangerous to humans. Most of the time it will hurt but not be deadly unless a bullet hits your soul. Do you remember what happened when Flowey hit you at that spot?”

Frisk nodded gravely. “It… really hurt. Is hitting it bad?”

“The soul is your weak point where magic is involved. A single blast of magic there might be enough to kill you outright. But as long as it does not get hit you will survive any kind of magical attack. Even if everything else goes over your head remember that: protect your soul no matter what.”

Frisk clutched at their chest and nodded. _Good,_ thought Chara, _as long as they understand that they should be safe._ Frisk took a moment to shuffle through a nearby pile of leaves. It seemed to improve their mood, and Chara felt Frisk’s will recover. No, something else. “Playfully crinkling through the leaves fills you with determination.” They paused, unable to read Frisk’s reaction to their narration. “Sorry, I’ll stop doing that if it bothers you.”

Frisk shook their head. “No, it’s… nice. It…” They scrunched up their face and bit their lower lip. For a moment it seemed like they lost their train of thought, then they concluded, “When you talk, I memember I’m not alone.”

Perhaps the human would be better off alone. Chara tamped that thought down; they were trapped together and wishing otherwise would not make it so. “Then I will continue to do so. I can do little else, so this at least will keep me from getting bored.” Frisk looked up at them and, with a tiny curl of the lips, smiled. It was the first one since they woke up in the underground. It was the weary and terrified expression of someone who was in a very strange situation that nothing in their life thus far had prepared them for but was willing to see it through to the end. _Hey, you and me both,_  Chara thought. “Come on, we have to catch up to Toriel before someone actually dangerous finds you.” Frisk was eager to comply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Chara I write isn't quite Soft Chara, but is also a pretty far cry from the dreadfully boring murderous psychopath Chara so popular in fanfic and fanart. My Frisk is also pretty different from the endlessly patient angel they are commonly portrayed as. Both have done or are fully capable of doing some pretty heinous things, but they are struggling to do the right thing and are (hopefully) worthy of forgiveness. You know, like literally every other major character in the game.  
> While the plot of this fic will loosely follow the game, I plan to gloss over any content I do not change or add anything to. Partially because I can't be bothered to transcribe huge sections of the game, but mostly because I have enough respect for your time to not make you read dialogue or events you've probably seen a hundred times.  
> 


	2. Traversing the Ruins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a promise is made.

_The world was warm and soft and comfortable, more so than they had ever remembered. Their head swam with half-forgotten dreams and general grogginess. They did not detect any light through their closed eyelids. Good, that meant they did not need to get up quite yet. They kept later hours than the rest of the house, so as long as they were out of the way nobody would mind if they slept until everyone else was gone. In fact they all generally preferred it that way. Still, it would be better to at least check so they would not be surprised later. They opened their eyes to consult the wall clock-_

_There was no clock. They were not in their usual spot. They were in a bed,_ an actual bed _, underneath the covers. The room did not resemble any of the rooms in the house, not in layout, decor, and certainly not in cleanliness. Most bizarre of all, an anthropomorphic goat was sitting by the bed. It was wearing a purple robe with a possibly religious symbol on the front. From their vantage point it seemed gigantic, easily twice Chara’s height even sitting down. It looked up from the book in its hands and closed it as they noticed Chara stirring. Its muzzle was slightly parted to give a kindly smile. It opened its mouth and understandable words came out in a gentle tone. “Good morning, child! You slept for quite some time, you must have been exhausted! Asriel told me they found you in the Ruins. Hee hee, he caused quite a stir! Barging in the front door half-dragging you with no more explanation than, ‘I found a human, can we keep them?’ And how is your leg feeling?” Their leg? Why would-_

_Suddenly the memories came flooding back. The flight from the house. Climbing the mountain. Falling and meeting Asriel. That was when things got hazy. They remembered walking through a house and Asriel had asked if they wanted to stop there, but Chara declined. It was not long after they would regret that decision; it suddenly became very cold and the ankle-deep snow was too much for a kid with thick socks but no shoes. By the time they reached a boat their feet had become almost completely numb and they could only wiggle their toes with great difficulty. That was all; they had fallen unconscious on the boat and awoken here._

_The goat lady was still looking at them expectantly. Did she want them to… That’s right! She had asked about the leg! They threw off the covers and grabbed their shin in both hands, wiggling their toes experimentally. No pain, no stiffness, like their fall had never happened. Also, they only noticed now their clothes had changed. Where previously their shirt was tan with a single purple stripe, now it was green with yellow stripes. Chara swallowed; she had to have seen the scars. She must have changed their clothes and they would be impossible to miss. They eyed her warily for a reaction or a probing question but none came. Was she just trying to be polite or did she not actually care? Chara knew which they would bet on._

_She nodded, “Good, it seems everything healed quite nicely. Oh yes, your clothes are drying right now. I will happily return them to you as soon as they are done, but we should see about getting you some new ones anyway. I will not pry, but they seem rather old and threadbare.” Such was the nature of stolen hand-me-downs. The shirt especially had been too big and they did not like the colors, but it was the only striped shirt they had the time to grab when they left. “In the meantime, please eat up. After last night’s ordeal you must be famished, so I brought you a slice of snail pie.” She pointed out a plate on the bedside table, a pie of some kind on top and a fork beside it._

_Chara decided they must have heard that wrong. Biology and Home Economics were not their best subjects but there was no way snails were edible. In spite of their disgust their stomach roared its displeasure at being empty for so long. “Go ahead!” the creature said. “You might not be used to the taste, but you need to put something in your tummy. Oh! Excuse my manners, my name is Toriel. I will be taking care of you while you are with us.” Her eyes flicked down meaningfully toward the pie._

_They did not like this. Even aside from the odd foodstuffs something was wrong here. Nobody was this nice to strangers, especially weird dirty red-eyed strangers. But they had to eat; willpower and suspicion meant very little against biological imperative. The pie had a rubbery texture and tasted strongly of butter and garlic. If Chara were not starving they might have spat it out across the room, but they had not eaten anything at all for quite some time and it had been even longer since they had a proper meal so they devoured it with their bare hands, silverware forgotten. Strangely the mouthfuls seemed to dissipate and vanish before hitting their stomach, though they felt no less satiated for that. When they had finished the creature spoke again with a giggle, “Perhaps we will work on table etiquette another time. As a reward for eating all your dinner…!” She pulled out a small brown tablet about the size of a quarter. “A piece of chocolate for dessert! It is hard for us to get here, but this is a special occasion so I do not mind if you have some.”_

_The chocolate captured their gaze and would not release it. Chocolate? They had heard of it, certainly, but they had never been allowed to eat any. They gingerly reached up, carefully edged toward Toriel’s hand, then in one quick motion snapped the bar up and retreated into the corner of the bed. The scent of it was sugary and not at all unpleasant. This was not a trick, right? They had not been punished yet for laying on a bed, that shoe had to drop sometime. Maybe this was it. They would try to eat it and it would be soap or something. They cast one more suspicious glance at Toriel before popping it into their mouth. The chocolate had a smooth, rich, sweet taste. They failed to suppress both a moan of satisfaction and a single tear; hurriedly they wiped it away but not fast enough. “Is something wrong?” Toriel asked, concerned. They shook their head, which seemed to satisfy her. “You can continue resting if you want, or I can give you a tour of the castle. You may end up staying here for some time, so even though you are a guest please treat it as your own home.” Chara tried to give her a smile but about all they could manage was turning up one of the corners of their mouth. Some part of them wished she would stop keeping them in suspense and just get it over with, even as another part they thought had shriveled up long ago dared to hope. They got out of bed and pulled the blankets back up. They must have thrashed in their sleep again because the sheets still looked a bit wrinkled. “That will do for now,” Toriel said. “Come along child. There is not much to New Home but I will be happy to show all of it to you.” She took Chara by the hand, sending shivers up and down their entire arm. They badly wanted to rip their hand away, but after giving them a bed and food they could not deny her now. Instead Chara smiled their crooked non-smile again. Toriel smiled back and led them to the rest of the castle._

* * *

The room Frisk and Chara entered was in poor condition; there were cracks all along the floor which shuddered on Frisk’s approach. “Now doesn’t this look precarious,” Chara commented. Frisk winced, though Chara was unsure whether they were agreeing with them or simply did not understand them. “Test out each step before putting your full weight on it. Toriel went this way so there must be a safe way to reach the other side.” Frisk accepted this line of reasoning and carefully placed one foot on a section of cracked flooring. Chara’s caution turned out to be for nothing; as soon as Frisk did so the floor gave way, and Frisk was too startled to pull themselves back to safety in time. They tumbled through the new hole in the floor and into the darkness, a wordless cry on their lips. “Fri-!” Chara’s shout of alarm was cut off as a heavy weight slammed into them from above, mercilessly driving them into and through the floor to keep them close to Frisk. They hoped and prayed this was a puzzle; Toriel would not design a puzzle which could hurt someone, but if it was just the ruins falling apart then there was no guarantee of Frisk’s safety…

Their hopes were answered; Frisk fell back-first into a thick pile of leaves and was swallowed up entirely. Chara briefly felt the impact and the edges of dry leaves tickling their skin, but no flashes of pain or dizziness. Frisk was fine. They proved it by bursting out of the leaves with a tremendous gulp of air like they were emerging from a pool. As they looked at Chara their jaw dropped and the corners of their mouth turned up. “Chara!” Frisk said, astonished. “You’re floating!”

Chara drifted lazily several feet in the air at a strange angle. “So I am. And here I was using my legs to walk like a sucker.” They tried to rotate to face Frisk but over-corrected and flipped end over end. It was like trying to flex muscles they never knew they had, so it took them a few tries before they finally managed to get themselves right side up, Frisk chuckling at their predicament all the while. Once they had a good handle on how to move Chara continued to hover a few inches off the ground, letting their legs dangle. If they were a ghost now they might as well act the part, and besides flying was pretty cool. Only now did they examine the room they had fallen into. There were huge pits full of dead leaves, one of which Frisk was now waist-deep in, with a path woven between them. A sign hung on the far wall, the path leading up to and past it. An invisible wall prevented Chara from getting far enough away from Frisk to read it, so they were forced to motion Frisk over. “Keep off the leaves,” they read. They re-examined the room. “Oh, I see. This is a signature Toriel puzzle.” Frisk gave them a curious look. “I bet the room above has only a single safe path through. This sign here tells us we need to walk on the floor above where there aren’t any leaves down here.” Architecture and perspective, just like Toriel. Although, the fall was a little out of character for her; it was unlike her to include the possibility of real danger in her puzzles even with safeguards like the leaves. They hoped it was just a matter of finding the room in such disrepair and making do with what she had. “There should be a way back up, then we can try again.”

There was indeed a tunnel which could be climbed up to deposit Frisk back on the upper level. Chara tried to direct Frisk’s movement, but they seemed to have trouble following simple instructions and fell down a few more times. They attracted the attention of a Moldsmal after the second drop, though Frisk had a ball wiggling their hips in some crude form of… mating dance maybe? “What a stimulating conversation!” Chara quipped, rolling their eyes. Regardless, it had the desired effect and the Moldsmal left Frisk alone. Finally Chara decided to cheat; they floated through the floor so they could look down on the lower room and verify the correct path, then popped back up so Frisk could follow them. Being a ghost had some advantages, they decided.

As they left the room Frisk received a call on their cell phone. Chara gulped; Toriel and Frisk had not missed each other while Frisk was fooling around below, right? Toriel’s voice came through the phone, “Hello?” She did not seem angry or frightened, so she must not have discovered Frisk had wandered off on their own yet. “For no particular reason, which do you prefer? Cinnamon or butterscotch?” Oh oh oh, Chara knew where this was heading.

“B-scosh!” Frisk half-shouted into the receiver.

“I see! But… you do not dislike cinnamon, do you? I know your preference, but you would not turn up your nose at it if you found cinnamon on your plate?” Chara pumped their fist. They really, really hoped whatever mechanism which allowed them to feel what Frisk did applied to taste. Frisk made a supportive noise into the phone. “That’s good, thank you.” With that the call ended.

Frisk put the phone back in their pocket. “Something good happen?”

With a musical lilt to their voice Chara replied, “You’ll see.” Things were definitely looking up.

* * *

The Ruins continued. Chara knew every twist and turn by rote, but the contents of those rooms and hallways had changed rather dramatically. There was a rock family living along the hallways they were following, and of course there were the typical residents of the Ruins; Loox, Vegetoid, and even the occasional Migosp. Some attacked them; now that Frisk knew what to expect they had little trouble. They were wiry, lithe, and athletic underneath the simple shirt and shorts, and the slow and weak bullet patterns of the Ruins monsters held no challenge for them. The puzzles themselves were also different but they were no match for Chara. Honestly it somewhat annoyed them. They knew Toriel could do better and more difficult puzzles than this. Did she just not care anymore? In any case, Frisk followed their advice and solved the puzzles with ease. Chara had to grudgingly admit the two of them made an excellent team.

Finally something blocked their path which was neither a puzzle nor a common monster. Instead there was a ghost lying down among the leaves, right in the middle of the hallway. It was pretending to be asleep, saying the letter “z” over and over again. Ghosts whom had never been human had only a vague understanding of what bodily processes were actually like. “Move it by force?” Chara suggested. Frisk seemed reluctant, but there were no other pathways to explore and no way to squeeze past the ghost. As they tried to push against it, though, the ghost sat up suddenly and a red heart appeared on Frisk’s chest.

Welp.

The ghost was crying, flinging their tears through the air as projectiles. They came thicker and faster than anything Frisk had faced thus far, the pattern too dense to completely avoid. As a bullet sped toward their soul Frisk turned their body to take the hit on the shoulder, and Chara seethed as the sensation of an acidic burn came from the same spot on their own body. This one had some strong magic!

“Hey, come on,” Frisk said consolingly. “You don’t have to cry. It’s gonna be okay.”

The change in the ghost’s expression might have been too subtle for a newcomer to read so Chara provided, “You give Napstablook a patient smile. He looks a little bit better.” Frisk turned to Chara for further advice. They did not recognize this one, but they got the feeling… “This monster doesn’t have a sense of humor.”

The ghost turned his head and looked directly at Chara, tears streaming from their eyes again. “oh, I’m REAL funny…”

Chara’s heart jumped into their throat. The ghost could sense them too?! Actually that made a lot of sense and they felt foolish for not thinking of it before. Why wouldn’t a ghost be able to see another ghost?

“Chara!” Frisk said excitedly. “You can talk to them! Help them cheer up!”

They put a hand on their chin. “I’ll do my best, but I haven’t been a ghost that long. I’m still new at lifting people’s _spirits_.” Napstablook chuckled a tiny bit. Ah, the noble pun. Even a bad pun still makes the listener smile even as they lament at how terrible it is.

Napstablook looked at the two of them thoughtfully. “can i… show you something? let me try…” The ghost began crying again, but this time their tears fell upward and began pooling above their head. In only a moment Napstablook was wearing a top hat. “i call it ‘dapper blook’. do you like it…?”

“Wow!” Frisk beamed. “That’s amazing! So handsome, and the hat is cool too!”

Napstablook blushed, and the tip of their hat lowered to cover their eyes. “oh no…” They peeked out from under the brim. “i come to the ruins because there’s usually nobody here…”

Chara nodded. “So you could say it’s one of your usual _haunts_?”

Frisk cringed. “Enough…”

“Are you kidding? I’ve been _dying_ to find a good audience.”

“Stop.”

“What, you don’t like puns? How disappointing. Frankly I’m a- _ghast._ ” Frisk covered their ears and yelled in frustration, which Chara took as a sign of their victory.

Napstablook laughed, sounding a bit nervous still. “but today i met some nice people. … oh, i’m rambling again aren’t i? i’ll get out of your way.” With that Napstablook disappeared.

Frisk waved goodbye to the air. “They were nice. I hope we meet them again.”

Chara rubbed their shoulder at the same spot Frisk had taken a hit from a tear bullet. “Putting that aside, are you alright? I can feel it whenever you get hurt, but maybe not as strongly as you do. So if it’s bothering me I can’t imagine what it feels like for you.”

Frisk shrugged. “If it won’t kill me… I just have to deal with it.”

“Not necessarily. Monster food will help you recover more quickly.” Of course, the only food they had was that candy. They swallowed hard before saying what they were sure they would regret: “Try some of the candy you picked up earlier, you’ll see what I mean.” Frisk dutifully unwrapped the candy and popped it into their mouth. As they did so a strong surge of artificial caramel flavor burst in Chara’s mouth, prompting an “oh!” of surprise.

Frisk talked around the hard candy. “Something wrong?”

Chara licked their lips in thought. “The candy has a distinct non-licorice flavor.”

Frisk seemed unsure how to respond to that. “Surprised?”

“A little, but not for any important reason. I just thought it might have been a licorice candy, that’s all.” They remembered Toriel had a huge bag of the stuff, and for months she would give it away to anyone who asked as well as anyone who did not ask and had still barely made a dent in it. This was partially because Chara would steal other types of candy but absolutely despised licorice so it took much longer for the supply to be depleted. So when Chara saw a huge dish of candy in the ruins they obviously thought it was Toriel’s candy. She must have gone through all the licorice sweets. But how long would it have taken to do that? How long had they been dead for, anyway? “How’s your shoulder now?”

Frisk nodded happily as they bit through the candy with a solid, satisfying crunch and it dissolved into magical energy. “All better! Let’s go.”

On and on through the corridors they traveled. The two found an old and faded ribbon discarded in one corner. “If you look cute you won’t get hit as hard,” Chara opined. Frisk seemed ill-at-ease about this comment but tied the ribbon around their bicep anyway. An odd place to put it but whatever, the kid was kind of strange about a lot of things. A little later they found a toy plastic knife lying about. How odd, in Chara’s time they had mostly stopped making these. Something like this was pretty rare, and probably valuable. Frisk stuffed it into one of the many deep pockets of their cargo shorts without comment. Other monsters approached them, but word had apparently gotten around that bullets would hurt them and they were not dangerous so they were now having more conversations than fights. That word “conversation” deserved to be in quotes, though; mostly monsters just talked at Frisk and they nodded politely, listening intently but rarely offering a word in response. It was mostly small talk so Chara tuned it out; stories of how their day had been going, long-term struggles of living in a world without sunlight, nothing Chara had not heard and empathized with dozens of times before. Yes, this is what monsters were really like. Chara had not actually seen that much of them; they had been a shy child and rarely left the castle, and when they did they had felt vaguely threatened by the attention of monsters. Being approached by strangers, no matter how friendly, had always been uncomfortable for them. Frisk by contrast drank up the attention eagerly, their blood seeming to rush a little faster with each word of grateful thanks and every friendly wave goodbye they received. Chara was content to hover to the side, delivering passive commentary on Frisk’s attempts to make friends and the monsters’ reactions.

A sweet smell wafted down one of the corridors, and both Frisk and Chara turned their heads. Frisk’s stomach grumbled; the candy might have healed them but it did little to fill them up. “Sure, we can take a detour,” Chara said to Frisk’s unasked question. “I’m a bit curious myself.” A nearby sign directed them to the Spider Bake Sale set up in a side room, and they followed the directions toward the appetizing scent.

A tinny voice bid Frisk welcome as they entered. “Welcome to our bake sale! All proceeds go to help real spiders! What would you like today?” The greeting came from a single spider, dangling from the ceiling by a long thread in the center of the room. For a supposed storefront the room was quite sparse. Two prominent spider webs had been set up to collect donations and a sign displayed their wares, but there were no chairs or tables for customers to eat at. The ceiling chittered with countless spiders staying just out of the light.

Frisk perused the wares, a tiny bit of drool escaping the corner of their mouth. Chara was thankful Frisk was taking this well. They liked spiders, scorpions, and all other manner of creepy-crawlies, at least partly because they were so maligned and misunderstood by everyone else. Chara could not detect the slightest fear or revulsion from Frisk; though they were unsure how many of their emotions they could feel, Frisk’s attitude certainly did not betray any bad feelings about spiders. Frisk pointed at a donut and Chara read out the price: “That’s seven G. All the money we have is in single-G coins, so it should be simple.” Frisk frowned, taking some offense at that. They pulled out some of the money they had been collecting and took delicate pains to count out each coin. _Are they counting on their fingers?_ , Chara wondered. After nearly a minute they handed over the correct amount of G. As they received their treat Chara narrated, “Some spiders come down and give you a donut. You got the Spider Donut.”

The host spider thanked them. “Please enjoy! It’s made by spiders, for spiders…” Frisk bit into the donut just as the spider finished its pitch: “… of spiders!” Frisk froze for a moment. Then they began chewing slowly, very slowly, their mouth twisted in effort, before swallowing.

Chara was about to mock them when Frisk went for a second bite.

A few moments later the donut was finished and the bake sale had been left behind. Chara said, “I’m pretty impressed you managed to choke it down. Eating spiders would have freaked most people out.”

Frisk brushed them off with, “Once I… told myself _what_ I was eating it was pretty good. Would have liked a warning, though.” No sink being available, Frisk sucked on each of their fingers in turn to get the last bits of crumbs and glaze off them.

“I lived underground for almost two years before I died, spiders aren’t even in the top ten of the weirdest things I’ve eaten. Sorry, I’ll try to keep your refined taste buds in mind.” Frisk nodded appreciatively, either missing the sarcasm or ignoring it.

They moved on to the next room, which had a rather strange configuration. There were colored switches with pillars nearby, and they had to hit the correctly colored switch to proceed. It was in the middle of this puzzle that Frisk took a deep breath as if psyching themself up for something. “So, um… red eyes, huh?”

Oh here we go. And things had been going so well. “Yes, I have red eyes. I suppose it is a demon thing.” Chara pointed at the switch which next needed to be flipped to open the door. Looking to change the subject quickly they asked, “Now that you mention it what color are _your_ eyes?”

Frisk fiddled with the switch and looked at them strangely, almost hesitantly. “Can’t you tell?”

Raising their voice to be heard over the click of a mechanism being tripped, Chara answered, “No, actually. You have kept your eyes closed since you woke up. I have been meaning to ask how you are seeing anything at all.”

The child’s eyebrows danced back and forth, up and down, as they alternatively scrunched their face this way and that. Finally they put a hand up to their face and gingerly touched their eyelid. “Oh, huh. My eyes _are_ closed but I can see fine. Weird! I could never do this before.”

The ghost narrowed their eyes and cupped their chin in their hands. It was only a sample size of two, but… “Perhaps this place or the barrier does something to humans who fall down.”

“Why? Did your face change too?”

Through clenched teeth and with undisguised fury they dismissed, “ _I don’t want to talk about that._ ” Frisk stammered an apology and walked briskly onward, remaining silent while Chara walked them through the rest of the puzzle. Did they overdo it? No, one has to be firm about this sort of thing. Even after rationalizing it to themself Chara still felt bad. Not bad enough to apologize for it, but a little bad.

As they left the hallway they came face to face with a tiny, pleasant cottage. There was a tree shorn of all its leaves in front, a pile of red leaves all around it. They were standing in the yard of a tiny house, one Chara recognized immediately. A now-familiar surge of energy welled up within Frisk, brightening both of their moods. “Oh, it’s Home. Seeing such a cute, tidy house in the Ruins gives you determination.”

Frisk swallowed nervously before asking, “This is your house?” Clearly they were a bit wary of touching on another sensitive subject.

Chara shook their head. “No, Home is what this place is called.” They added as if it explained everything, “The King of the Monsters is very bad at naming things.” Frisk looked like they had more to ask but the front door of the cottage opened and Toriel came rushing out.

“Oh dear, that took longer than I thought,” she mumbled to herself. “I hope that child has not gotten into any-” She stopped on seeing Frisk there. “My child! Did you get here all by yourself? That was very dangerous! You’re not hurt are you?” Not stopping for an answer she knelt down and quickly looked them over. “Not a scratch! But I am still very concerned. Please do not run off on your own, the Ruins can be very dangerous! But, you must be tired. Come, follow me. I have a surprise for you.”

Chara was finding it hard to suppress their joy. They giggled as they told Frisk, “Go on, follow her. If the surprise is what I think it is you’re going to like it a lot.” Frisk seemed skeptical but continued on into the house, closing the door behind them as they entered.

The hallway was painted in a pleasing pastel yellow, each desk and end table with just enough clutter to give the house a lived-in look. “Do you smell that?” Toriel asked but continued without waiting for an answer. “Surprise! I decided to hold off on the snail pie for today and instead made a butterscotch-cinnamon pie to celebrate your arrival! It is still baking and will be ready soon… in the meantime I have another surprise for you. Come this way!” She took their hand without asking and pulled them through the house. The hallway they passed through had a number of plants and flowers lining the north wall; amaryllis, african violet, and a… what was this one called again? Chara had seen it before but could not recall its name. Toriel stopped at a door to what must have been Asriel’s room when they lived here. “This will be your room from now on. I hope you will be safe and happy living with me.” On the outside Toriel seemed as fine as ever. She had always been generally pleasant and friendly, eager to offer food, and, yes, was a little bit of a control freak. Yet, it seemed like she was hiding something. Even as Toriel said, “Is something burning? Oh, make yourself at home while I check on something!” and ran off, she still had a plastic smile that did not fit her words. There was also something manic in her demeanor, the way she babbled from topic to topic without actually giving Frisk a chance to respond and kept active from one chore to the next. She never would have been so overworked as to burn a pie before. Now that they thought of it, why was Toriel living here at Home? And where was Asgore?

Frisk looked up at Chara with a frown. “Um… was she kidding about snail pie? Is that real?”

“Oh yes it is.” Chara looked at them out of the corner of their eye. “It’s actually pretty good, once you get used to the texture. Chewy too, gives your jaw a workout.” Frisk put a brave face on but their mouth puckered.

Frisk pushed open the door to what was now their room. The most prominent feature, and the only one Frisk needed to see, was the twin-size bed pushed against the wall. As soon as they saw it they kicked off their shoes and climbed under the covers. “I’m taking a nap,” they said to Chara. “Long day.”

“I am sure it has been,” Chara agreed. “First climbing up the mountain, then falling down and going all through the Ruins… I don’t need to share what you’re feeling to tell you’re exhausted. I’m not sure if ghosts _have_ to sleep but I will see if I _can_.” They floated up to the space a few feet above Frisk, tilting themselves sideways as though lying on another bed above them. Chara had always wanted to try sleeping in a top bunk. The ceiling was still quite some distance away, Home having been built with the expectation of someone almost eight feet tall living there.

From below Frisk asked in almost a whisper, “Chara, do… do I upset you?” They scratched at the pillow idly with a fingernail.

“Not particularly.”

“Sorry. You just… I feel… you don’t like me.”

Chara licked their lips. “It is nothing about you personally. You’re actually not that bad for a human.”

There was a pause while Frisk considered this. “So it’s because I’m human? Nothing else?”

“Pretty much.”

Frisk made a non-committal sound. They shifted uncomfortably as they struggled to get something out. “Is there anything you want, Chara?”

That was pleasantly surprising. Chara was expecting the obvious but stupid follow-up question of why they hated humanity so much, so they were unprepared for the change of topic. They bit down the curt refusal they had readied and tried in a slightly softer tone, “I’m not sure I understand what you mean. I’m not even sure there is anything you can do for me.”

“It’s just…” Fidget fidget. “You’ve been helping me a lot. I’d like to help you.”

Chara shook their head. “There is only one thing I want, and it is too much to ask in return for the meager assistance I am providing. Do not concern yourself with it.”

“Don’t be like that,” Frisk laughed. “Tell me what it is. I’ll help if I can. Please?”

Something in their tone suggested this was not just an idle question or random small talk. Chara could feel waves of anxiety pulsing off Frisk as they hesitated to answer. “A very long time ago, a magical barrier sealed the monsters in this place, underground. What I want, the _only_ thing I want, is to break that barrier so monsters can return to the surface.”

Frisk thought about this. “Okay, I’ll do it. I’ll break the barrier, I promise.”

Chara flipped face-down so they were looking directly at Frisk, their hair refusing to follow gravity and sticking to the sides of their head. “Don’t make a promise like that so flippantly.”

“But I want to! You really like monsters. I like monsters too. I talked with lots of them today, and… they’re all so sad. They try to hide it, but I can tell. What you said, it… fits. If they’re trapped I want to free them. And you’re a good person too, so I want to do something nice for you.”

“Aha. I found a flaw in your reasoning: I am not a good person. I am a demon.”

Frisk smirked back. “A real demon would hate humans so much they’d have laughed when the flower hurt one, not try to save them.” Chara turned toward the wall with a “hmph”, indicating the conversation was over. Frisk chuckled. “Good night, Chara.”

Chara waited a few breaths before finally responding, “Good night, Frisk.” Then they closed their eyes with the intent of trying to sleep. The instant they did their conscience faded, like their eyelids were the doors of a tomb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine snail pie would taste similar to escargot. I have no desire to personally test this.  
> I don't understand why people tend to write Chara as aggressive and bloodthirsty towards monsters. The "Check" text for the Ruins monsters constantly push you towards peaceful resolutions for the fights and their first reaction on seeing a knife is "this would make a good gardening tool", how violent could they really be?  
> 


	3. Leaving Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is heartache.

_The tour of the “castle” had gone well. The word was not a well-fitting one; it was too cozy for a fortified defensive structure and too plain for an opulent palace. If anything it resembled a lower-middle class house from twenty years ago, assuming those reruns of old sitcoms had not been lying to them. They were not shown Toriel’s room: Asriel was asleep there after staying by Chara’s bedside all through the night. Chara only vaguely remembered the fluffy goat boy who had helped them after their fall and did not know what to think of him. He must have spent hours dragging them there. Why would anyone do that for someone they barely knew? What did he expect in return? Even the throne room was informal and inviting, visitors walking down a pathway between the flowers planted in the rich brown earth all around the throne. They were a little disappointed at the lack of golden flowers in the garden, but the splash of color was still very much appreciated. Beyond the throne room was a shimmering white wall Toriel called “the barrier”. Chara had given it an experimental tap; it seemed very solid, like rock. They put their whole hand on it and pushed, satisfied it was not going anywhere. Toriel did not stop them but her face showed momentary concern after they touched it. She neither admitted nor explained her expression, and Chara did not ask. Chara had, in fact, not yet said a word, not even their name._

_As they returned to the throne room someone else was entering from the other direction. A huge creature filled the entryway, cloak billowing behind them. Their horns added to their already massive height; all told they must have been eight feet tall or more. The kindly face, the thick coat of white fur, the golden hair and beard which resembled nothing so much as a lion’s mane, all combined to form a majestic yet agreeable personage. The creature’s face brightened when it noticed them. “Oh!” it said in a rich baritone as they approached. “Howdy! I see my wife is giving you the grand tour.” Wife? Ah, the pieces were all coming together now. Asriel was the prince, Toriel was his mother, and this person was her husband. Asriel was obviously a biological child, and while it was rude to assume their genders Chara was fairly confident which of them was male and which was female. Chara gave Asgore a stiff bow and he rumbled with laughter. “Now now, there’s no need for that! I may be the king of this country of monsters but I have no love of formality. I would be honored if you just called me Asgore. Welcome, human!”_

_Toriel playfully admonished him, “Now Gorey, don’t expect too much from them. They’re still nervous about waking up in an unfamiliar place. It would not be strange if they were scared of you just because of your size!” The truth was, Toriel was far more intimidating than Asgore. Toriel’s size and demeanor were too similar to… someone they knew back on the surface. That person’s calm and pleasant exterior would shatter without warning, and constantly expecting Toriel’s personality to change was starting to make them anxious. Asgore was so huge they had trouble thinking of them as “human”, which in this case was a good thing. It made it easier to take him as he was without associating him with anyone or anything else._

“ _They certainly are shy,” Asgore admitted. “Humans of their age can be… Oh. Oh my, how rude of me. I forgot to ask. How old are you? You seem about Asriel’s age, but…”_

_Chara swallowed. They must be expecting an answer? They lowered their head to hide their eyes behind their bangs and hugged themself. “I… I’m not sure,” they spoke in a throaty whisper. “I don’t remember when it is anymore or how long ago I was born. My… the people I am staying with… they don’t hold birthdays for me.”_

_It took Chara a few seconds of silence to realize no one was attempting to respond. They swallowed. Oh no, they said something wrong. They had gotten so comfortable they had forgotten to watch their words. They knew they should have stayed quiet! They turned up their head sluggishly, dread a tar in their muscles. Toriel and Asgore were both staring at them open-mouthed. An apology formed in their gut but failed to rise to their throat. Toriel spoke first, her voice prickling in indignation, “Well! How awful! Terrible!”_

_Chara tried to play it off to ease her temper, “A birthday isn’t that special, really. It’s a day like any other.”_

_Toriel wagged her finger, “No no no! It’s more than that, it’s a celebration of you! Denying someone their birthday is denying them as a person. It is unspeakably cruel to do that to anyone, let alone a child. If I should ever meet those ‘people you were staying with’, I will be sure to give them a piece of my mind!” Chara felt their own fingernails dig into their arm. Bad, this was bad! They just kept making things worse. Behind them was the barrier and both the adults were between them and the hallway back to the rest of the castle. If Toriel’s rage exploded Chara had no escape. How had they let themself get in this situation?_

_Asgore noted their distress but misinterpreted the cause. “Well, your family has nothing to fear. Monsters cannot leave this place so my wife will not be able to deliver on that threat.”_

“ _They can’t leave either,” Toriel sighed, letting her impotent anger drain away. “The barrier stopped them.” She knelt down to look at Chara. “Child, I am sorry to say this but the barrier traps you as well. Monsters have lived behind this barrier for a thousand years and in all that time we have not found a way around it. You felt for yourself how solid it was. We are unable to return you to your home.”_

“ _Do you promise?” The question left Chara’s lips before they had time to think about it. They slapped a hand over their mouth, eyes wide. Now they were really going to get it!_

“ _Excuse me, Asgore?” All three of them turned to find another monster had entered the throne room. She was a aardvark-like creature in sweater and pants, head hunched between her shoulders. Her gaze flicked to Chara, then Toriel, then Chara again with a little more surprise, before focusing on Asgore. “I’m here to talk to you about the library sign in Snowdin?”_

“ _Ah yes,” Asgore said with a kindly smile as he approached the newcomer. “I received your letter. It is misspelled, I believe? The Kingdom’s budget is as tight as ever but let us see what we can do.” The two of them stepped to the side to confer privately._

_Toriel said to Chara, “In any case, you can stay with us as long as you like. I am sure Asriel would like to formally introduce himself as soon as he wakes up, but until then we have lots of books to read and games to play.” If she heard what Chara had said she was doing her level best to ignore it._

_Chara was conflicted. This was wrong. All of this was all wrong. They thought they had finally begun to understand the way the world worked: adults pretended to care about children but ultimately would sacrifice them for their own comfort; the government had lofty goals but was staffed by overworked, underpaid, unappreciated, and unappreciative drones who would take a liar at their word because an investigation was too much bother; and good things did not happen to Chara. But Toriel and Asgore rejected those rules. They were adults who seemed to genuinely care about them and their well-being. There were no hidden motives, no planned betrayals. Heck, Asgore was the King and he was taking time out of his schedule to meet with people and discuss their problems. None of it made sense. They did not understand. They just could not understand…_

“ _Perhaps we should give them privacy?” Toriel suggested, taking Chara by the hand. Chara’s skin crawled at the touch but again they choked down their outrage. They stole a glance back as they were dragged through the doorway and locked eyes with the aardvark monster. Each was not quite sure what to make of the other._

* * *

“Chara? Chara! Where are you?”

They awoke to Frisk calling their name. Chara did not feel quite rested, but then again they had not felt quite tired before sleeping either. Could they even call what happened sleep? It had felt different than they remembered. Deeper. Emptier, somehow. More like death, and they knew what that felt like very well. They would still take this over insomnia and night terrors. “I am here,” Chara said, twisting themself in the air so they were right-side-up and dropping to just above the floor. Frisk was sitting up in bed with the covers half peeled back.

“Thank goodness,” Frisk sighed in relief. “I couldn’t find you. You…” They fiddled with their hands as they grasped for the right word and failed. “… go away when you sleep.” Go away? As in, they disappeared? Disconcerting but still good to know. Perhaps the only way they could ‘sleep’ was by discorporating entirely.

Even with the lights off Chara could make out everything in the room clearly; a human in the underground found their night vision growing better by necessity, for even the brightest lights in the underground were still quite dim. There was an object just below them they did not remember being there before: a plate, on which rested a slice of yellow-brown pie. “Oh, Toriel left you something while you napped.”

Frisk swung out of bed and peered at the food. “Is this… the butterscotch-cinnamon pie?”

“Also known as the ButtsPie, one slice,” Chara confirmed. Frisk did not react to the admittedly juvenile humor, so Chara continued, “You are very lucky. In my opinion, this pie is the best food you are likely to encounter in the entire Underground. I would savor it thoroughly.” They eyed the pie expectantly.

Frisk seemed to be considering their options. Finally they reached into a pocket to remove a piece of aluminum foil. “I’ll save it for later. I’m never hungry right when I wake up.” Chara tried not to let their disappointment show. The foil still had some crumbs from whatever was last in it; Frisk shook them out and carefully folded it over the pie.

“You carry used foil around?”

The child froze, licking their lips. “I brought it. Was gonna throw it away when I got back home.” Obvious lie. If they climbed Mt. Ebott they were not planning on ever coming back, but Chara let it go. It clearly bothered Frisk to talk about it and Chara had to respect their boundaries if they expected Frisk to respect theirs. Frisk finished stowing away their emergency food and patted their pocket triumphantly. “I just have to remember to eat it before it goes bad.”

“You need not worry too much. Monster food does not spoil, rot, go stale, or otherwise expire. It is rather convenient in many ways.” They tapped their fingers together anxiously. “But… I hope that does not convince you to wait too long to eat it.”

Frisk turned the light back on and looked over the room for the first time. They paid no attention to the box of cool-looking toys, and the dresser was similarly ignored. There was an empty photo frame on the dresser and a crayon drawing of a flower pasted on the wall. Chara felt a lump form in their throat; definitely one of theirs. Had she taken it all the way from Home and kept it safe here? So she did remember, in her own way. Frisk’s attention was concentrated on a small box immediately under that drawing. They sifted through the contents, a puzzled expression on their face. Chara said apprehensively, “It’s a box of children’s shoes, all of different sizes.” Why did Toriel have a box of shoes? And where were the owners of those shoes now? No, best not think about it. Things may have changed, but they could not have changed that drastically. Toriel would never _ever…_ do what Chara was thinking she might have done. No way. Not her.

Frisk finished looking and stood up. “Chara, do you mind if we go explore a little bit?”

“Not at all,” they said, their gaze lingering on the box of shoes a moment longer. Frisk carefully opened the door without making a sound and slipped into the hallway like a burglar. They looked both ways but Toriel was nowhere to be seen. Slowly, carefully, they inched further down the hall until they came to the next door. Frisk looked directly at Chara and pointed toward the door, then put their palm against the wall. Chara blinked, then understood what Frisk was trying to say. “You want me to scout for you, make sure Toriel isn’t in there?” Frisk nodded once. “Alright, I guess I can do that. You could have just knocked, you know.”

Chara stuck their head through the wall and found a room painted in periwinkle blue. They tilted their head on seeing the bed. It was a good deal larger than a twin size bed, but not quite large enough for a king and much too small for both parents of the Dreemurr family. So again, where was Asgore? Remembering their task they called out, “No one’s here. It’s safe to go in.” Frisk carefully opened the door without making any noise and began their exploration. Chara provided a helpful analysis of the items which caught Frisk’s attention: “Let’s see… a cactus, the most tsundere of houseplants. It’s Toriel’s sock drawer, how scandalous! And this is a small chair. Its name is Chairiel.” Frisk shot them a dubious glance at the last one. Chara lifted their hands palms up in a gesture that said _Fine, don’t believe me._ There was an open notebook on Toriel’s desk with one sentence circled in red pen, possibly a diary or journal. Frisk ignored it, but Chara stole a peek. Written there was… a terrible skeleton pun. Snerk. The rest of the page had jokes of a similar caliber. Whatever it was Frisk was looking for they did not find it. Or maybe they were not looking for anything in particular.

The rest of their exploration was mostly uneventful. The other room, what would have been Asgore’s room in New Home, was tightly locked. A sign hung on the front of the door indicating it was closed for renovations but this did not stop Frisk from trying the knob fruitlessly. A wide mirror hung at the end of the hall. Frisk stared at the mirror for a time, watching themself while moving some of their hair around with little apparent purpose. They also poked at their eyelid again, confirming their eyes really were closed and they really could see through them. “It’s you!” Chara said with forced cheer. Frisk giggled but said nothing. The child was pretty quiet, they were starting to notice. Then again, when Chara first arrived they also spoke little. Behind the house a waterwheel turned, pushed by the river’s current. That must be where the house got its power from. Chara would have thought it would be hooked up to the CORE by now, they had to have been dead long enough for that. There was a garden for various vegetables and fruits, including more of those plants they had not recognized before. That was really starting to bother them now. It was on the tip of their tongue, come on now, Toriel makes her pie crusts using flour made from ground… water sausage! They were water sausages! Maybe it was not much, but they would take their victories where they could get them at this point. Frisk of course ignored all of this. They returned to the main entrance and walked through to the living room.

In the living room a fire was already going. Toriel sat in a comfy chair, a book open on her lap. “Oh, you are awake!” she greeted before launching into another rapid-fire series of explanations. “There are still a great many things I have to teach you about the Underground. I know quite a lot of games and puzzles to keep you entertained. I can show you my favorite bug hunting spot later. And I’ve worked out a curriculum for your education! Even in what must seem to you such a strange environment, you must not neglect your studies. This may surprise you, but I have always wanted to be a teacher… oh! Please excuse me, I am babbling again. It is just so exciting to have someone to share this home with!” No, she was not being quite truthful. Chara could hear something like panic in her voice. But why? What was she so afraid of? “What is it you wanted to speak to me about?”

Frisk scratched at their collarbone, pursing their lips. “When… when can I go home?”

There it was. Chara saw a flash of dread cross Toriel’s face. She covered it up quickly with an awkward smile, but Chara knew what they saw. “What… what are you saying? You are home.”

“Then…” Frisk continued. “How do I leave the ruins?”

“Rather than that,” Toriel blurted out, looking at her book. “How about an exciting snail fact? Did you know snails… um… make very poor shoelaces? Is that not fascinating?”

The desperation in their tone, the pleading in her eyes, the way her hands shook. It made her look small and weak and pitiful, adjectives Chara would never have thought could apply to Toriel. For just an instant they wondered whether she had been replaced by a look-alike. But no, there was too much of the old Toriel there to seriously entertain that thought: the kind smile, the formal wear even when they were lazing about the house, the creases at the edge of her eyes which only appeared when she was upset. And oddly, she appeared to have not aged a day from the last time they saw her. But why should that be odd? Of course she would not have grown any older since they died. Boss monsters only age as their children grow up, and because of _them_ -

The child looked directly at her. They took a deep breath, and pronounced each word very carefully as they said, “Please tell me. Where is the exit?”

Toriel stared at Frisk for a moment. Then they put their book down calmly and stood up. “I have to do something completely unrelated. Excuse me.” She then hurried past Frisk and to the entryway.

“Is that what you’ve been looking for?” Chara asked once she left. “If you wanted to know how to leave I could have told you. It’s the way she just went, then down the stairs. It will put you right into Snowdin Field.” Frisk pointed in the other direction, head tilted. “That way’s the kitchen.” Even now just saying the word caused a nostalgic passage to bubble up from their mind: ‘The place I like best in this world is the kitchen. No matter where it is, no matter what kind…’ They cut their reminiscence short. “Anyway, we can poke around if you want but Toriel’s been acting weird. We’d better see what she’s up to.” Frisk nodded their agreement and followed the indicated path to the basement and to freedom.

The cellar had been done up in the same mauve tones as the rest of the ruins, though the smell was different. It was a stale scent of a place long abandoned. A thin layer of dust coated the floor, though large clean spots in the shape of paws were visible down the length of the hallway. This must be where Toriel went. Frisk apparently came to the same conclusion as they stopped being so careful and started running down the hall to catch up.

Toriel’s head lifted; she must have heard Frisk’s footsteps. “You wish to know how to leave, do you not?” There was an edge to her tone now, stopping Frisk in their tracks. She kept her back toward them, turning neither her body nor her head. “At the end of this hall is a one-way exit to the rest of the underground. I am going to destroy it, so no one can ever leave again.”

“You can’t!” Frisk yelled. “You can’t just keep me here!”

“You naive child,” she replied, still not looking at them. “Do you know what will happen to you if I allow you to have your way? I have seen several humans fall from above since I began living here. They come, they leave, and they die. Sometimes it is quick. Other times they stay alive for a quite while. But in the end it is always the same. If you leave this place, they… Asgore… will kill you.”

“ _What?!_ ” Chara’s vision swam and they could not get their thoughts to clear through a hazy fog which had descended on them suddenly. Asgore… will…? “That… that can’t be right. He wouldn’t…”

Paying no heed to the voice she could not hear Toriel concluded, “I am only protecting you, do you understand? Go to your room, and do not follow me. This is your last warning.” She continued down the hall, undaunted.

Frisk turned to their partner, frowning with concern. “Chara?”

“She’s wrong,” Chara said between deep breaths, anxiety a thundercloud in their head and heart. Their eyes flicked left and right but saw nothing and focused on nothing. Their right hand clutched their reverse-heart locket, thumb and forefinger rubbing its contours. A lie? She would not lie. So she had to be mistaken. No, she would know her own husband. But she had to be wrong. Asgore would not kill anybody, not even a human. He just… They caught Frisk staring at them and shook their head. When they stopped their eyes were half-lidded and their smile was once again solid but empty. “I apologize. I received a small shock, but I will strive to control myself better in the future.”

The response was firm and direct: “You know something you aren’t telling me.”

“Maybe, but I don’t want to talk about that. More importantly, if you really want to leave you’ll have to hurry. She really is capable of destroying the exit, and if she does you’ll be trapped.” Hopefully by the time this all calmed down Frisk would have forgotten all about their slip-up.

As promised the hall terminated in large antechamber. Toriel stood in front of a large set of double doors directly opposite the entryway. Again her head perked up on hearing Frisk’s approach. “You want to leave that badly? Hmph, you are just like all the others.” She muttered as she put her hands on the door to steady herself. “Very well then. There is only one way. I will personally ensure you are strong enough to survive.”

Toriel held her arms out to her sides as she whirled around, hands holding flames. There was none of the motherly affection in her face now, just a grim sense of purpose. A tingly electric feeling washed over both of them as she targeted Frisk with her magic. Monsters from the Ruins had done this a number of times, but Chara still gasped in surprise. They felt like they had just been struck in the soul, though Toriel had yet to fire a single bullet. They confirmed in a quiet disbelieving voice, “Toriel blocks the way.” How could she do this, they asked themselves. Yes she always had a bit of a temper, she raised her voice and even grounded them or put them in time out when they acted out, but… she was actually attacking! The same person who held them as they cried, who gave them a warm and loving home when they had nowhere else to go, who gave them faith that maybe adults weren’t all terrible, was raising her hand against a child with the intent to kill. With her power Frisk would become Crisp in seconds, and even knowing that she was still going to fight? _How could she?!_

Frisk put their right foot behind them, and for a moment Chara hoped they would run. Instead they planted their foot solidly and gave Chara a _look_. It was that determined look they got when they wanted advice but couldn’t speak. They could not ask Chara for help directly with other people around, not without sounding like a lunatic talking to thin air. They had not worked out a signal or anything of the sort, but whenever Frisk looked at them in a particular way they could tell that was what they wanted. They wanted advice on how to fight Toriel.

“Knows what’s best for you,” they said coldly, berating themself internally even as they did. Even with such a cruel and unthinkable betrayal… they still could not let her die, right? They squeezed their eyes shut and added, “Don’t fight her.” Chara shivered and hugged themself. “There is something I forgot to tell you. Monsters are very weak to physical attacks. It’s like with your soul, except for them their entire body is a weak point. If you strike them with the intent to hurt them, even with a child’s strength, you might just kill them. So please, no matter what, don’t hit her.”

Frisk balled up their fists and bit their lower lip, watching the fireballs leave Toriel’s hands and come speeding toward them. At first Chara was afraid they did not hear them, or had and chose to ignore it. But Frisk made no move to attack, instead hopping sideways to avoid the blasts of flame. They opened their mouth to speak but no sound came out. Toriel continued her attack, this time opting for a barrage of smaller and faster-moving bullets. The smell of ash and sulphur filled the hall as fireballs left char marks on the walls and floor. Frisk struggled valiantly but one fireball burst against their hip. They screamed as the force of the blow knocked them over. It was all Chara could do to stifle their own cry as sympathetic pain erupted on their own body. Frisk gritted their teeth and returned to their feet, but again their face fell when they looked at Toriel. It was an expression Chara knew well. They had seen it on their own face many times. It was the face of someone in an impossible situation who had nothing to say.

“Ironically, talking does not seem to be the solution to this situation,” Chara said. Frisk nodded numbly, clenching and unclenching their fist. Being told talking would not help was something, but it was not a strategy. Chara urged themself to get out of their muddle and think. There had to be a way out of this, there had to be something they could tell Frisk to help them, but they needed more time to figure it out.

Toriel would not wait for them. A stream of fire shot out from her hand and snaked toward Frisk, catching them on the shin as they leapt backward a moment too late. They stumbled and slumped against the wall, the entrance just to their right. Would Toriel consider it her victory and stop if Frisk ran back upstairs? Or would that just leave them with nowhere to dodge when the next attack came? It was moot; Frisk took one look of disgust at the hallway and faced Toriel defiantly. No, they would not even consider retreat. But they also were not getting up.

Frisk could not talk. They must not fight. They would not run. But what else was left to do? Almost as much to themself as anything Chara said, “Can you show mercy without fighting or running away…?”

Frisk gasped when they heard this, then their look of astonishment turned to one of confidence. They stood and walked towards Toriel with calm measured steps. Apparently what Chara had said had given them an idea. Chara watched with interest. They surely had some type of plan, but what they could not fathom.

Toriel raised an eyebrow at Frisk’s newfound resolve. “What are you doing?” she asked, hurling another set of fireballs. Instead of leaping to the side or back, Frisk held up their left arm to shield their soul. The fire burst with a whoosh and a crackle, knocking Frisk backward and sending their arm flailing. Their shirt was singed where the fire touched it, and they sucked in air between their teeth to ease the sting.

Chara flinched and rubbed the same spot on their own arm. These wounds were really starting to pile on. Even if none of them were lethal yet, they still hurt. How was Frisk stopping themself from screaming? “Toriel prepares a magical attack,” they warned. This time Frisk caught the fireballs on their right forearm, and again the force of the attack sent them skidding backwards. Frisk had to take a few deep breaths before walking on again, favoring the leg which had been burned.

“What do you think you’re proving?!” Toriel screamed. Another torrent of fire. Frisk’s left arm took another shot and hung limply at their side. Chara could not feel their arm anymore either. Now would be a really good time for Frisk to do something…!

They did. Between ragged breaths Frisk croaked out, “I have to go. I made a promise… I’m going to free everyone.”

Toriel’s face twisted into a grimace. “Then fight me or run away!” A wave of fire advanced, and Frisk’s deadened right arm shielded their soul from the bullet. It too now hung at Frisk’s side, and though they grimaced and struggled in effort they could not move it so much as an inch.

Chara realized too late what Frisk was doing. Oh no. _Oh no_. They were not going to fight, or talk, or run away. They were going to take the hits until Toriel stopped. They were betting on Toriel’s good nature winning out and stopping the fight rather than risk killing them. They were intentionally letting themselves get beat up until both Toriel and Frisk knew they could no longer dodge. And then…

“Stop it. Stop looking at me that way!” Toriel stretched out her hand and hurled a single fireball directly at Frisk’s soul. This would be the finishing blow. Frisk could not dodge, or run, or block any more. They might have been able to avoid the attack by falling over, but they stood on shaky legs, facing the attack with grim urgency. Frisk was about to die. Chara’s thoughts raced as their throat constricted. Had they been wrong? Had something happened to Toriel that would change her so drastically? Were they about to get someone killed again?

Just before impact, Toriel’s hand shot up over her head and the fireball followed her movement to bury itself in the ceiling. Debris and rock dust sprinkled on the ground between the mother and the human child. Toriel shuddered as she took several deep breaths. “That’s enough,” she said. “I know you want to go home, but…” She stepped forward, a kindly but defeated smile on her face. Chara’s heart hurt to look at it. “I promise, I can take good care of you here. You can live a long and happy life. I will do everything I can for you, and you can spend your life in safety and comfort. So please, go upstairs.”

Frisk watched her impassively, without a hint of reproachfulness or fear. When Toriel had finished they shook their head slowly. “I can’t,” they said in a whisper, the only voice they were capable of speaking in. “I know it hurts you, but I can’t stay. There’s too much I need to do. I’m sorry.”

Toriel sucked her lips into her mouth, squeezing her eyes shut. She held that face for several seconds before her head and shoulders slumped. “No. It’s alright, I understand. The Ruins are quite small, once you get used to them. There are only so many books and so many places to go. You’d get very bored and lonely if you were to spend your whole life here. It’s not a good environment for a child to grow up in.” She knelt down and put her hands on their shoulders, and Chara felt a familiar tingling coolness spread throughout their body as Toriel’s healing magic mended Frisk’s body. “The least I can do is heal the damage I did. Please, leave this place and keep walking east until you reach the barrier. The door out of the Ruins will lock behind you; never come back this way again. You are a good child, so I know you understand.” Then she hugged them one last time, and Chara could tell by the tightness of her grip that she had already given them up for dead. “Goodbye, my child.”

“This isn’t goodbye,” Frisk promised, returning the hug. “We will see each other again.” Toriel did not respond. She merely released them and walked back the way she came, unable to resist turning her head for one last look before vanishing into the darkness.

Behind stinging eyes Chara said their own farewell. Toriel might never have known they were there, but then again it was better that way. Her Chara had died of an “illness” a long time ago. Meeting them now in any form would do neither of them any good. Then, throwing their solemnity away like fish past the sell-by date, they turned to admonish Frisk, “That was really dangerous. She could have killed you, you know.”

Frisk shook their head. “No. Only a hit to my soul will kill me. Toriel will never hurt me.” They grinned widely. “You said it yourself, so I knew I’d be okay.”

That was simultaneously the most logical, rational, and gullible thing Chara had ever heard. “Are you for real?” Frisk giggled in response, and Chara accepted they were not going to get an actual answer. Frisk pushed against the huge double-doors and slipped through, though they were unable to stop themselves from looking back the way Toriel went before shutting the door behind them.

The hall to Snowdin was just as long as Chara remembered, but not as cold. The floor was at a slight incline, so frigid air from Snowdin would waft in and creep down like a sludge to fill the whole passageway. So they should have felt the chill, even if it was just shared stimulus from Frisk. Unless… “You’re one of those weirdos that can go out in the middle of winter with a t-shirt and be perfectly fine, aren’t you?”

Frisk laughed nervously. “I’ve never really been cold, if that’s what you’re asking.” After a moment they said, “They’re red.”

 _Non-sequitur_. Translates to ‘it does not follow’. “Beg pardon?”

“My eyes. They’re red like yours.” They reached up and held one eye open with their fingers. Sure enough the iris was a bright red, almost like anime blood but nothing at all like real blood. Chara could see a few brown flecks, but those would get washed out by the red at anything greater than nose-to-nose distance. “Sorry, you asked before but I didn’t answer.”

Chara shrugged. “I had forgotten I asked.”

The human stopped walking. Their mouth made an “o” of realization and they pointed at Chara. “This is what that word you said means! What you’re doing, that’s what s… tzu… the cactus word is!”

Cactus word…? “Did- are you calling me a _tsundere_?” Before they realized it they were laughing out loud, covering their mouth with their hand to try and muffle the sound. They had to control it to a snigger before they were able to respond properly, “Oh, you really are a funny kid. But you’re not entirely correct. A tsundere is embarrassed by their emotions and covers their infatuation with false disdain. When I say you aren’t bad for a human I mean exactly that, no less and no more. You still have a long way to go before you’re an honorary monster.” The human started walking again, their smile bright enough to power the sun despite the rebuke. Maybe they did not understand what Chara said? Now that they thought about it Chara had an unusually good vocabulary for someone their age and Frisk… not to be rude but they were sort of the opposite. Chara let it go. Frisk’s joy was infectious, and not just because some of it seeped down their strange connection to contaminate Chara’s demeanor. Maybe Chara lucked out and had been stuck with a nice human, if there could be such a thing.

Both their good moods came crashing down when they entered the antechamber before Snowdin Field and found that murderous flower planted right in the center of it. The flower watched Frisk with a goofy smile on their face, radiating insincere whimsy. Frisk widened their stance, getting ready to dash out of the way of any stray “friendliness pellets”, but Flowey did not expand their magic field. It seemed battle was not part of the plan today. “Clever,” the flower said instead. “You found a way through. You went the whole way without killing anyone. Even though the rule of this world is ‘Kill or be killed’, you rejected that and played by your own rules. I bet you feel really great.”

Frisk screwed up their courage and yelled back, “Of course! I don’t want to hurt anyone, so I won’t! What’s wrong with that?”

“But what will you do if you meet a relentless killer?” Flowey said, his smile becoming twisted and cruel. “You’ll die and you’ll die, over and over again. Then you’ll accept the rules of this world; you’ll lash out in frustration, or maybe you’ll just give up and let me inherit this world’s future! Either way, it will be much more interesting than I’d ever imagined! Take care! I’ll be watching you!” He sunk into the ground, his cackles bouncing and echoing off the stone walls long after he disappeared.

The hell was that all about? The flower was clearly out of his mind. “How many times does he think you can die?” Chara asked. Frisk only shrugged and shook their head, heading for the door out. They touched the door with their hand, recoiled from how cold it was, then pulled their sleeve over their hand so they could open it properly.

Chara still had no idea why they had come back or what was waiting for the two of them. Clearly all was not well in the Kingdom of Monsters. But they were in too deep now, and the only way out was through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter is a little unpolished, my beta has been unavailable all week and I didn’t want to break my promised update schedule. Please let me know of any errors in text, I will fix them at my earliest opportunity.  
> 


	4. The Fields of Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which memories are incomplete.

_They met Asriel that afternoon. He was a frenetic and jumpy little thing, practically bounding into Chara’s arms the moment he laid eyes on them. That had been too much; they had been able to endure a touch on the shoulder and even having their hand held, but a hug from a stranger was more than they could put up with. They screamed and writhed and thrashed until they were free, and afterward all they could do was mumble apologies and admit with a quavering voice they did not like being touched. A mistake: Toriel wondered why they had not said so before. So they were wrong for being bothered by it and keeping silent, but they had no doubt it would have been wrong to refuse Toriel’s hand to begin with. A no-win scenario, at last something they understood. But then something strange happened: Toriel apologized for taking their hand without permission and promised she would try to do better in the future. She also made Asriel apologize for hugging them without warning. He had such a transparent hangdog look about him they could not fathom it being faked. Chara could only insist it was okay and they would be fine. After Toriel went to all the effort to paint Chara into a corner, she was not going to punish them? Nothing about this house made sense. They felt like they were standing on quicksand._

_That night everyone met at a hardwood table in what Chara thought of as a living/dining room. Asgore gave up his chair to Chara and stood at the head of the table, Toriel on the opposite side. Chara sat on his right, and Asriel shifted his chair over to be at their right. Asgore said, “Now that we’re all awake and alert, I believe it’s time for a family meeting.”_

“ _Um,” Chara raised their hand. They kept their head down, unable to look anyone in the eye. “Should I… really be here? I’m n-not part of your family.”_

_Asgore said, “This concerns you so I should think you have the right to be present. After all, you cannot be expected to make decisions about your future if we do not give you all the info you will need.” He winked at them. Chara could not decipher the meaning of that gesture. “We cannot return you to the surface; the barrier prevents it. We had thought a strong soul would at least be able to go through, but it seems even a human soul is not enough. We are… truly sorry, young Chara.”_

_Chara shook their head. “Don’t be. Your mountain has a legend: ‘Those who climb Mt. Ebott never return.’ So I knew from the start I couldn’t come back.” They tapped the table with one finger absent-mindedly. “Though I didn’t expect any of this. Um… I don’t think I’ve said this before but… thank you for rescuing me, Asriel. And thank you, Mrs. Toriel and Mr. Asgore, for letting me stay the night.”_

_Asriel opened his mouth to ask something but Asgore lifted a hand to silence him, a patient look in his eyes. “I should like to hear more of the surface when you are ready to share,” Asgore said. “But the important thing for now is decide what we will do now and in the future. If we cannot return you to your home we must at least make sure your stay is as comfortable as we can make it. We lack a couch or an extra bed, but…”_

_Chara shook their head. “Just lay down some extra blankets and I can sleep on the floor somewhere. It would be comfortable compared to what I’m used to.”_

_There was that strange look on Toriel’s face again. “If that is truly alright, I believe we have a sleeping bag you can use for the moment.”_

“ _Oh! Oh!” Asriel bounced in his seat, hand in the air. “Can they sleep in my room?”_

“ _Well?” Asgore looked to Chara for their approval._

_Chara looked sidelong at Asriel without lifting their head. What was he so excited about? “I guess that’s fine.”_

_Asriel whooped and cheered, and for a moment Chara thought he would hug them again. He seemed to be resisting the urge with difficulty. “If you’re going to be in my room anyway, why not share my bed? There’s plenty of room and-”_

_They said quickly, “Th-That’s quite alright. I don’t want to be a bother.” And besides, having someone that close to them all night? They would never get any sleep._

_Asgore chuckled for some inscrutable reason. “Now that that’s settled… honeyblossom, can you contact the carpenters?” Honey- what? His tone became saccharine-sweet at that word. Who was he calling that?_

_Toriel smiled. “Of course, Snookie-wookums.” Oh, of course. Asriel stuck out his tongue in disgust, and Chara had to bite back the urge to do the same. “It will take us some time to prepare a bed for you,” Toriel said to Chara. “We’ll have a frame made from Snowdin cedar wood and get a mattress from here in the capital. You might need something bigger eventually, but a twin-size should be enough for now. It should all be ready in a few days.”_

_Chara would believe they would have their own bed when they saw it. And that was assuming they accepted this house and these monsters as real. They had probably given themselves a massive concussion falling down that hole and were hallucinating in the last moments before death. They had to admit it beat the pants off your life flashing before your eyes. But… what would be the matter with enjoying a happy dream just before the end? They decided to stop worrying about whether what they were experiencing was real. They’d had enough of a harsh reality; let them enjoy a pleasant fiction for a while._

_When the bed really did come in next week they had-_

_They were…_

T H E Y F E L T L I K E

_It hurts._

_They could not remember._

It hurts.

_They would not remember._

it hurt it hurts it hurts it hurts

* * *

 Frisk stepped through the doorway, marveling at the thin layer of undisturbed snow covering the forest. Ferns and pines and other evergreens grew closely together to line a path into the distance. As Frisk walked down the narrow path their breath turned into white puffs with every exhalation. Chara “haa”-ed into the air pretending to be a dragon blowing smoke, but it seemed ghosts did not actually breathe so nothing came out. Frisk giggled. “You talk like you’re older than me, but you’re still a kid.”

Chara glared at them out of the corner of their eye and hoped their ruddy complexion hid their blush. “I was just testing it to see if it worked. I’m as new to being a ghost as you are to being in the Underground, it’s important to experiment to see what I can and can’t do.” Frisk’s “mm-hmm” lacked all sincerity. “Anyway, it’s a long walk to Snowdin town. I know it’s pretty dark but don’t worry. I’m keeping an eye out so nothing’s going to jump out at you out of nowh-” A loud snap echoed through the forest. Chara and Frisk looked back the way they came. The large branch in the path they had walked past without noticing now lay in splinters, smashed as if stepped on by a beast or run over by a car.

They both gulped and looked at each other, the fear visible on each other’s faces. Chara was the first to speak: “W-we’re doomed…”

“C-come on Chara,” Frisk said with a strained smile. “If you can’t keep it together what am I gonna do…?” Frisk turned away and continued walking, though at a much more brisk pace than before.

Chara’s teeth chattered in a way which had nothing to do with the cold. They almost, but not quite, covered up the sound of a second set of footsteps following just behind. Chara failed to convince themselves it was just the echo of Frisk’s own. “Faster,” they urged. “I can’t see anything following us but I know it’s there. And it’s gaining.” Frisk made little distressed noises as they trudged through the forest, their feet leaving twin ranges of peaks and valleys as they kicked through the ankle-high snow.

Finally they reached a chasm with a narrow bridge across it. A fence stretched down the length of pit, a wall in the moat. It looked like it would be possible to cross the bridge and slip between two poles of the fence, but they did not have the time. When Chara looked behind them this time a dark figure was standing there. “Human,” the figure intoned in a deep and commanding voice. “Don’t you know how to greet a new pal? Turn around and shake my hand.” Frisk obeyed with shaky slowness, hand trembling as they went for a shake. Chara wanted to tell them not to do it and instead run across the bridge as fast as their legs could take them, but they were too scared to move or speak. Frisk clasped hands tightly with the stranger-

A rude sound thundered from the place where their hands met, cutting through the silence and echoing off the trees. All of the tension lifted from Frisk’s shoulders. They laughed and laughed, doubling over with tears in their eyes. At the same time the shadows lifted, revealing the shape of their stalker. It was the fattest skeleton either of them had ever seen; their head resembled a lumpy marshmallow more than something of bone, and their blue coat bulged curiously. Their fuzzy rabbit slippers left barely a dent on the surface of the snow while Frisk’s sneakers sunk all the way to the ground beneath, but even those extra couple inches meant they were barely taller than Frisk. Chara eyes narrowed. They recognized this greeting. “heh heh,” the skeleton chuckled, showing the deflated pink balloon in his hand. “whoopee cushion in the hand trick. it’s always funny.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and introduced, “i’m sans. sans the skeleton.”

Chara swore loudly, stamping their foot in a miniature tantrum. “I knew it I knew it I freakin’ knew it! That comedian…!”

Frisk tried their best to ignore them and reply, “My name is-”

“anyway, you’re a human right? that’s hilarious.” If Sans had any guilt for interrupting Frisk he did not show it. “it’s my job to capture humans, you see. but don’t worry, i’m not interested in capturing anybody. i mean, i get paid the same whether i capture you or not so it doesn’t really matter, right?”

 _Wait,_ Chara thought, _his job is doing_ this _? Loafing around the ass-end of Snowdin Field? Oh Sans, what happened to you? Did you forget?_

“now my brother papyrus, he’s a human-hunting _fanatic_.” He craned his neck to see over Frisk’s shoulder. “in fact, i think that’s him coming now. hey, i’ve got an idea. quick, go through this gate thing. don’t worry, my brother made the gaps too wide to stop anybody.” Sure enough Frisk was able to walk through without even having to turn to their side. Chara remained quiet, their thoughts confused. Brother? They did not remember Sans having a brother. Before they had time to contemplate this Sans was advising Frisk again, “quick, behind that conveniently shaped lamp.” What he pointed to was a lamp shaped exactly like Frisk in profile, down to the folds in their clothes and the length of their hair. Yes it would hide Frisk… from exactly one angle. Chara did not like the look of this, but did not have the time to formulate a better plan.

Frisk was barely behind the lamp when a loud shout of “SANS!” reverberated through the forest. Another skeleton stepped into the clearing, this one tall and lanky. They were wearing… what even was that? It looked like a superhero outfit made entirely out of things found in a garage sale. “I know that sound just now was you. Can you please stop toying with your prank devices and recalibrate your puzzles? Today could be the day a human comes!”

“i’m just looking at this lamp,” Sans said, pointing to the very lamp Frisk was ineffectually hiding behind. “it’s pretty cool. did you want to take a look, papyrus?”

“I don’t have time for that!” Papyrus waved him away without even glancing at the lamp. Was Sans trying to get them in trouble, or did he know the exact words it would take to make Papyrus ignore them? With him either was as likely as the other. “I’m too busy trying to get some recognition! My talent is too prodigious to be content as a mere sentry, I deserve to hold a place of honor! To do that, I must join the Royal Guard! To do that, I must capture a human! And to do that, _you_ , Sans, have to stop being so lazy!”

“sounds like you’ve got it all worked out,” Sans said. “ _tibia_ -nest, i think i would just get in your way at this point.”

“Oh no you don’t Sans!” Papyrus said. “You’re not getting out of work that easily! If you can’t be bothered with your puzzles, at least brush up on your jokes! You’ve made the same old skeleton puns for years, I know you can do better!”

“okay. i’ll try to come up with new material. but i dunno, i think my jokes are already pretty _humerus_ myself.”

“Ugh!” Papyrus threw up his hands. “Just, whatever you decide to do, put a little more _backbone_ into it! Nyeh-heh-heh-heh!” He then stormed out of the clearing back the way he came.

“okay, he’s gone now,” Sans said. “you can come out.” Frisk peeked out from behind the lamp. “you see? papyrus isn’t really dangerous, even when he tries to be. that’s good, because you probably can’t sneak past him. i’ll keep an eyesocket out for you, so could you do me a favor and play along with him? he’s been kinda down and i think seeing you would really make his day.” Frisk nodded in agreement. “cool. i’ll see you up ahead.” Sans walked down the path, opposite the way Papyrus had left and toward the door to the ruins.

Chara was… conflicted. In a sense it was good to see Sans had not changed at all. And yet he had, hadn’t he? He aged terribly, now resembling nothing so much as a lumpy goblin. He had grown wide but not tall, a stark contrast with his brother. There were other changes too, more subtle: the smile seemed more than a little forced, and there was a melancholy in the way his shoulders slumped and his body sagged as though under an oppressive weight. It almost made them forget they were supposed to be mad at him. Almost.

“Was he someone else you knew?” Frisk asked once they had left.

Chara was about to give their standard ‘I don’t want to talk about that’ reply, but closed their mouth and thought. This was not on the same level as who their family was or what their face started doing after the pie incident, and they figured they ought to throw the kid a bone once in a while. Heh, Sans always had a way of making them _think_ in puns. “We were friends when we were younger… when he was younger. We weren’t super close or anything, but I didn’t have many friends so I cherished him. You don’t have to worry about him attacking you, he’s got this… uh, condition. I think he’d be mad if I told you about it so let’s just say he’s the easiest enemy you’ll ever meet and leave it at that.” They huffed. “Sorry, it’s hard to see him out in the middle of nowhere wasting his life. Once, I had him promise me he was going to do something really amazing with all his gifts and be a really incredible scientist. But it looks like he broke that promise.” Then again, Chara had promised they would let monsters see the surface and Asriel promised to become a king that restored the people’s hopes, so really they were all failures.

Frisk nodded as though they understood, though Chara could tell they did not. Maybe they were just happy to hear anything about their old life, but they would be disappointed in that case. Chara’s life had never been as interesting as that, except for the parts they were absolutely not going to talk about. Frisk just walked on, Chara following behind as they tried to reconcile how Sans got from point A to point B.

They had hardly started down the path when they spotted Papyrus and Sans directly in front of them. Chara looked back the way they came; hadn’t Sans walked off in the opposite direction? How the heck did he loop around and beat them here without them noticing? Papyrus had been saying something but cut himself off when he saw Frisk approaching. “Sans! Is that a human?!” Papyrus pointed dramatically at Chara. Their throat seized up completely at the sudden attention. What?!

Sans’ eyesockets dimmed a tiny bit in what might have been the skeleton equivalent of a squint. “i think that’s a rock.”

Chara whirled around; indeed, there was a rather sizable rock in the path just behind them. When they turned back towards the skeletons they could have sworn they made eye contact with Papyrus for just a moment… but he was just looking in the same direction, right? And Papyrus didn’t have lights in his eyes the way Sans did, so it was hard to tell exactly where he was looking. They probably just imagined it. Papyrus visibly deflated. “Oh.”

“hey,” Sans said while pointing at Frisk. “what’s that in front of the rock?”

“Oh my god! Sans, is that… a human?” Frisk gave an exuberant wave hello.

“yes.”

Papyrus shrieked from sheer joy. “Oh my god! Sans, this is… Undyne’ll… I’ll be…!” He composed himself with a cough before facing Frisk. “Human! Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Great Papyrus, future member of the Royal Guard! If you wish to proceed, it is I who you must match wits against! It is I who will impede your journey and capture you so you may be taken to the capital! Should you pass through my gauntlet of challenges, you will find safety in Snowdin Town with my blessing.”

Frisk held out their hand and smiled, apparently having only caught the very last part of that speech. “That’s nice of you, Mr. Papyrus.” As they did with Toriel they repeated the name in very careful over-enunciated syllables, pah-PIE-rus. “My name is-”

“But you won’t succeed!” Papyrus’ bellow shut down Frisk’s introduction. “For my puzzles are devious, my traps delicious, and my style debonair! Only the tiniest chance of victory remains. So step forward only if you have the courage, or your doom is assured!” Papyrus spun on his heel and marched away, cackling all the while.

Sans watched his brother go, the same dopey smile on his face as usual. “that went well,” he said. Even Chara could not tell what the irony content of that phrase was. “well, i’ll see you up ahead.” He then plodded off after his brother, leaving Frisk alone once more.

Frisk tilted their head. “They’re kinda weird, but they seem nice.”

“They can’t be that nice,” Chara said. “They left a kid in the middle of a snowy field all alone without even a coat. If I weren’t here to tell you which way to go you would be in serious trouble.” Skeletons could not feel cold themselves so the thought Frisk might freeze would never enter their head, but Chara did not mention this out loud. It would undermine their argument.

* * *

Unfortunately, there were more than skeletons in these hills. Other monsters, primarily teenagers rebelling against the vague concept of authority, accosted Frisk on several occasions. Because they were more interested in showing off than actually hurting Frisk their attacks were no trouble to evade, but they were a bit more persistent than the monsters in the Ruins and Frisk had to stop to catch their breath after a couple of the more harrowing encounters. On top of that the path to Snowdin was extremely well-guarded. It seemed they could not go fifty feet without passing some kind of sentry station manned by the Royal Guard, who for some reason were all dogs. Chara counted five of them in total. But all dogs love pets, so despite their weapons and threats Frisk was in no real danger as far as Chara could tell.

Chara made a special note of two of the dogs: Dogamy and Dogaressa. Chara was never formally introduced to them but they came by the castle every year when the Nose Nuzzling Competition was heating up. From what Chara was able to gather they were still pretty salty about losing to Asgore and Toriel in ‘98; that was the last year the Dreemurrs competed before retiring the trophy, saying they wanted to let other monster couples have a chance. The Dogi were constantly trying to get the two of them to come back so they could avenge their loss. They looked… great, to be honest. They looked almost exactly the same now as they did when Chara was alive, like they had not aged a day. It was a pretty stark contrast to Sans. Now that they thought about it, how did monsters age? They knew Boss Monsters only aged when they had kids, but they had never bothered to ask whether normal monsters aged differently from humans. They just assumed they got one year older every year, but they were starting to think that was not the case.

And then… there were the puzzles. Papyrus ruined their first puzzle by forgetting to give Frisk the electric orb to start and inadvertently showing off the solution when he went to deliver it. This was followed by Sans’ “puzzle”, which was just a piece of paper left on the snow. When Frisk went to read it Chara discovered it was just a kid’s word search. Not only that, Sans had cheated by leaving one of the words out. Thankfully it did not impede their progress in any way, much to Papyrus’ consternation. Chara finally got a chance to display their puzzle-solving chops with the puzzle shaped liked Papyrus’ face, which somehow even Papyrus forgot the solution of. They directed Frisk through the puzzle by lowering themself to the ground and walking just in front of Frisk, showing them exactly how to move to progress.

Papyrus’ next puzzle was the most daunting one yet. A field of multicolored panels stretched out before them. Papyrus cleared his throat and went over the rules in a rambling stream of rapid-fire syllables: “When I push this button the colors will randomize, creating a brand-new puzzle which even I will not know the solution to! Each color has its own function. Red tiles are impassable! Yellow tiles are electric and will shock you! If you touch a green tile you will have to fight a monster! Orange tiles make you smell delicious. Blue tiles you can swim through, but if a blue tile shares an edge with a yellow tile the water will also electrocute you; and if you smell like oranges the piranhas will bite you! Purple tiles will make you slide to the next tile but will also make you smell like lemons, which piranhas do not like! Finally pink tiles do nothing. Understand the explanation?”

Frisk looked back to aim a commiserating glance at Chara. Chara, however, stared at the panels with a look of intense concentration, fingers rubbing against the reverse-heart pendant. After a moment they nodded with a satisfied grin. “Okay, I think I understand the rules. Tell him to start the puzzle.” Frisk’s jaw dropped but they nodded to Papyrus apprehensively. Alongside a fanfare provided by Sans on the trombone, Papyrus pushed the button on his machine with a flourish.

“You don’t have to lie,” Frisk whispered. “There’s no way you got all that.”

As the tiles began to randomize in a cacophony of beeps and whistles Chara said, “The rules are perhaps more complicated than necessary and he did not do a good job explaining them but for the most part they are straightforward. The only tricky part is the blue tiles; they can be crossed normally unless they are adjacent to a yellow tile _or_ if you have walked on an orange tile without-”

The tiles finished their dance. The puzzle was before them. Both of them stared at it dumbfounded. With impassable red tiles at either side, a wide stretch of pink connected one side of the puzzle to the other like the parting of a sea. Without a word Papyrus spun slowly in a daze and retreated.

Frisk shrugged, amused. “Well, that works.” They must have missed spotting Chara’s disappointed expression. That puzzle looked like it could have been interesting.

Just on the other side of the multicolored tile puzzle must have been the station for Somewhat Lesser than Greater Dog but Still a Very Good Dog Dog (Lesser Dog for short), because the path was lined with snow dogs with comically long necks. It seemed that every time Lesser Dog would get too ambitious and make the neck so long the snow could no longer support its own weight and collapse. Then it would start again on a new snowdog, rinse and repeat. Chara said, “The thought that one day the dog will create the perfect snowdog fills you with determination.”

And then it was as though the world changed between blinks. The snow looked the same. The snowdogs were just as they were a moment ago. Only Frisk was different. One moment they were stiff but content, and the next their shoulders were slumped and their chest was heaving. Frisk whirled around and charged at Chara, arms wide open for a hug, only to fall through and land on their face in the snow.

Chara took a deep breath to process what just happened. “Okay, first? Don’t hug people without permission. Respect the personal space of others. Second, I’m still a ghost and you can’t touch me. That hasn’t changed since-” They blinked as they heard a sniffle coming from the human. “Are… are you _crying_? Come on, it’s just a hug. It’s awkward for both of us if you cry about something like this.”

Frisk rubbed their nose on their sleeve before turning to look at them. No, they were not currently crying. But there were definitely tear streaks on their cheeks and their lips trembled. “Chara…” they said, voice cracking. “If… if I said I was sorry, would you unnerstand?”

Was… was this some kind of zen koan? Like, ‘what is the sound of one hand clapping’ or ‘would a Woshua approve of using a rag to clean if it meant the rag got dirty’? They were never any good at these. They were struck suddenly by what a vast gulf there was between “knowing what they are feeling” and “reading their mind”. Chara could tell Frisk was upset about something, relieved about something, a little guilty about something, but it all mixed together in a stew of vague self-recrimination so they could not understand what had happened to them so suddenly. “I… would have to say no? I mean, assuming you aren’t apologizing for trying to hug me.”

This answer seemed to satisfy Frisk. They nodded and wiped their eyes on their sleeves. “Then forget it. I’m being silly.”

Now they were really worried. Frisk was a fairly predictable child, their stunt with Toriel notwithstanding and even that made sense once they had explained their chain of logic. In the short time Chara had known them they were not prone to acting on impulse or susceptible to wild mood swings. And yet that was precisely what was happening here. Maybe it was as Frisk said, they were just being silly, but Chara did not think so. There was something they were missing here. But what? After a few fruitless moments they went ahead and filed that thought away for later study. They did not have enough information yet to make guesses. Instead they pointed towards a side route. “Oh, this is a little out of our way but down this path is-”

“We’re _not_ going that way.”

Chara’s eyes bulged. That too was certainly new. The kid had never overrode their guidance before, and certainly not with such intensity. They quickly decided this was a fight not worth waging. “Very well, we’ll skip the detour. No one has ever managed to open that door anyway, and Gyftrot is always in a bad mood. Snowdin is down this main road, not far now.” Frisk nodded once and stomped onward, Chara following with unease.

They were nearly at the land bridge to Snowdin town. Someone had taken the time to roll up tiny little piles of snow all throughout the clearing. Frisk pointed at one to ask what it was for and Chara answered without thinking, “It’s a snow poff.”

Frisk looked at them with a raised eyebrow. “Is that a real word?”

“Of course it is! It’s…” Chara trailed off and their smile became a bit wistful. “It’s a memory of a dear friend.”

* * *

 “ _Snow poffs!” Asriel giggled as he ran from one lump of snow to the other._

“ _They’re just piles,” Chara said. “You can’t just call them by some made-up word. What are you, five years old?” Chara was wrapped in several layers, a coat over their sweater over their striped shirt. Malnourishment in the two years prior to falling to the Underground had left them without an insulating layer of fat to protect them from the cold. At least it was calm; they hated wind even more than the cold, since they could bundle up but even coats and sweaters were inadequate armor against the slicing gales of the surface. It had been several months since they had fallen down. Asgore was visiting the school with samples of his garden to teach some of the younger children about responsibility and Asriel jumped at the chance to get out of the house for a while. Chara was feeling emotionally capable so they accompanied the two on their errand. Of course, once they arrived the children wasted no time in ditching the king to play in the fields without adult supervision. Chara kept an eye out, but there were not many monsters roaming the fields of Snowdin. They would not have come at all if they thought differently. The Dreemurrs were alright, and it was not as though they hated other monsters. It was just that they could only handle so many of them at once and that number was very small._

_Asriel huffed indignantly. “Snow poff is so a real word!”_

_Chara knelt down and scooped up a handful of snow, a fun idea occurring to them. “You seem… really serious about this. Did you want to fight over it?”_

“ _You know we can’t,” Asriel pouted. “Mom says it’s dangerous. You can’t fight back with bullets and they’ll really hurt you, and she’s afraid I’ll get hurt if we roughhouse.”_

“ _What about these?” Chara finished packing their snowball and tossed it to themself. “It’s a little bit like a bullet, right? Do you think you can manage it?”_

_Asriel considered the snowball, then got a twinkle in their eye Chara really should have learned to be suspicious of by now. “Okay, yeah. Yeah! You just… squish the snow together, right? Into a ball, and you throw it?”_

“ _That’s exactly right. It’s a snowball fight. If you win we’ll call these piles ‘snow poffs’ from now on. If I win… hm. You have to give me your dessert tonight!” Hardly fair terms, but Asriel agreed with a confident nod of his head. Too bad if he cried about it later. “We’ll start on the count of three, okay? One… two…!”_

_Asriel chuckled darkly as they stretched out their hands. Clumps of snow rose from the ground all around him and crunched together to form snowballs, dozens of them, hovering in the air behind and around Asriel with a soft blue glow. He taunted, “Bet you didn’t know even a child Boss Monster can do things like this!”_

“ _W-wait!” Chara dropped their snowball and formed a ‘T’ with their hands. This was not at all going to plan! “Time out, time out!”_

“ _Onetwothreenotimeouts, now eat this!” Asriel’s deep amber eyes gleamed as he thrust his hand forward to begin the attack. “Star Blazing, snow poff version!”_

_There was no defense possible; Chara was buried immediately. It took Asriel a while to dig Chara out from underneath the pile of snow. By the time they were free their cheeks were even more red than usual, raw from the snow and the cold. “Are you okay?” Asriel asked._

“ _You brute,” Chara whined as they brushed white flakes out of their hair. “You’re supposed to use your hands, not your magic. How am I supposed to dodge if you throw forty snowballs at once?”_

“ _I’m sorry,” Asriel said with a sniffle. “I just wanted to play a little prank. I didn’t mean to upset you.”_

_Chara sighed. “But… even if you cheated, you did win. I, Chara, acknowledge the existence of snow poffs.” Chara looked down at themself, surreptitiously leaning closer to Asriel. “We’re all messy now… I’m going to have to change clothes, and you need a whitewash.”_

_Asriel cocked their head. “What’s a whitewash?”_

“ _Oh, you don’t know? It’s something kids do up on the surface. You see, it’s like… this!” Asriel’s eyes widened as he caught the mischievous grin on Chara’s face, but it was already too late. Chara grabbed Asriel by the shirt and shoved him facedown in a snowbank. With their other hand they shoveled heaps of snow under the collar of his sweater and onto his bare back. “Whitewash! Whitewash!”_

“ _AAAAAAAAH! Stop it, that’s cold! Chara!” Asriel bleated and struggled futilely._

_Chara stopped after a couple handfuls and let them up with a laugh. “Now we’re even.”_

_Asriel shivered. “Ah, the snow is melting and sticking to my fur. I’m freezing.”_

“ _Me too,” Chara said, teeth chattering. “We’d better go back. Maybe we can get a hot cocoa or something to warm up.” Asriel nodded their agreement, and soon enough they were on their way back to Snowdin. Even if their trek had not lasted very long it was still…_

_Still…_

* * *

 

Something about the memory was off. There was something missing, something they were forgetting. Nothing in the sensations, they still felt the stinging cold and could still recall Asriel’s soft fur and their earthy scent. But they could not quite remember how it felt to be there. Their body in their memory went through the motions like a doll, and Chara was unable to recall why they acted the way they did. Why they felt the desire to tease Asriel in the first place and why they were smiling and laughing. In its place was a tightness in their chest and what felt like a wad of cotton in their brain. A hot lance shot through what felt like their brain when they tried to dig deeper, cutting off any attempt to investigate further. How curious…

“Are you okay?” Frisk asked, noticing their sudden discomfort.

Chara nodded, shaking off the last vestiges of the age-old memory. “It’s nothing. Snowdin is just across this… bridge?” They hovered to take a closer look at it. “Oh, it’s just the old land bridge someone painted over so it looks like a wooden bridge. At least they added guide ropes. But yeah, Snowdin is right on the other side. Should be smooth sailing from here.”

It nearly wasn’t. Papyrus had set up some kind of death trap on the bridge, with cannons, spikes, flamethrowers, and for some reason a small dog. _And that’s six,_ Chara continued their running tally. At the last minute Papyrus relented and decided not to murder a child with a hideous and over-complicated device and simply let them into town, challenging Frisk to a final duel at the entrance to Waterfall. “I like his passion for puzzles and all,” Chara complained. “But I’m starting to wish he’d take this at least a little bit seriously. For all his bluster he doesn’t seem very intent on actually capturing you.”

“I’m fine with that,” Frisk said, a hint of bitterness in their voice. “I think it’s good that fewer people are trying to kill me.”

Chara sucked in air. “That’s… That isn’t what I meant.” Frisk nodded and sighed but said nothing. “I know there are monsters everywhere in town, but there are strict laws against bullets in crowded places. Even if they recognize you as a human they won’t attack you here.” Frisk’s spirits seemed uplifted by that. “There, see? The sight of such a friendly town fills you with determination.”

Frisk asked suddenly, “What’s your last name, Chara?”

Chara raised an eyebrow. “Where did that come from?”

“Tell me and I’ll forget you wished more monsters would come beat me up.”

Oh, so that was how it was going to be. Chara crossed their arms and regarded Frisk carefully. “I don’t have one,” they said, relenting while still appearing defiant. “I gave it up when I fell down and never got another. It wasn’t as though I was going to get mistaken for some other human down here and it’s not weird for a monster to have no last name.” Frisk stopped and turned toward them. “I’m not lying! Well, since you clearly asked that because you have something to say, what’s _your_ last name? It’s not going to be ‘Smith’ or something boring, is it?”

Frisk exhaled sharply through their nose. “Holder. As in ‘placeholder’.”

The gears turned in Chara’s head, shaking off rust as they formed one logical connection after another. Placeholder, that comparison was too convenient to be accidental, meaning their last name was not intended to be permanent. Meaning foster care without parental abandonment paperwork which would have their… not “real”, but “original”, last name on it. Meaning… “You’re a foundling?”

Their response was very even but with an underlying menace: “I know that word. It’s a nice way of saying ‘even my parents didn’t want me.’”

Yee-ikes. “L-Let’s get some food,” Chara said like they had flipped up a rock and, seeing what skittered beneath it, were scrambling to put it back in place. “You haven’t had a real meal since I’ve been with you, it’ll make you feel better.” Frisk seemed about to protest but instead closed their mouth and nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really happy with this chapter; getting it out was like pulling teeth. There is simultaneously too much and not enough for Snowdin; there’s a lot of events but it’s hard to add anything meaningful to them without just dumping the game text. It doesn’t help that practically everything there is to say about Sans has already been said many, many times. The poor guy’s been completely tapped out for interesting plots.  
> Next chapter will be shorter than usual but very dense in plot terms, so basically almost the opposite of this one.


	5. Interlude: CONTINUE On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which mistakes are not made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it is not obvious, this chapter as well as all future interludes take place in the middle of the preceding chapter.  
> WARNING: This chapter contains temporary character death and references to poor experiences in foster care.

Frisk looked up at the huge set of doors, awed at their majesty. The cavern was dark, lit only by the bio-luminescent mushrooms and the glimmering lights which danced through the air. The doors were coated with a thick layer of frost which glittered and flashed in mesmerizing patterns. “Here it is,” Chara explained. “This door has been here for years. No one has ever been able to open it.”

“So pretty,” Frisk marveled. They pulled their sleeve over their hand and pushed against the doors. True to Chara’s word they did not budge a fraction of an inch, like they were a bas relief carved directly out of the side of the cliff. Knocking caused the doors to echo but there was no other response. The nearby mushrooms let out a squeak when Frisk pressed down on them; each time they did so their light switched on or off. Perhaps with the right pattern of light and darkness the door would open, but Frisk had no idea what the pattern might be and there were so many possible combinations there was little point in guessing. Instead Frisk asked, “Can we rest here a bit?”

“Should be safe enough,” Chara said. “I don’t think monsters really come here that often. I mean, its certainly a sight but if you’ve seen it once that’s all there is.”

Frisk sat on one of the glowing mushrooms; it squeaked unhappily and its light turned out but it was plenty strong enough to support their weight. They shook out the fatigue in their legs and stretched. “Now that I think about it, we don’t talk much.”

“I talk a lot about the world you’ve fallen into. Doesn’t that count?”

“But we don’t talk about each other. I know you don’t like talking about yourself and what things were like for you before. That’s okay. But you never ask about me.”

Chara shrugged. “I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“Okay, I’ll start. I’ll tell you why I came here, to Mt. Ebott.”

The ghost frowned and picked at a stray piece of wool on their sweater. “I hope you realize I won’t take this as an obligation to share my own reasons.”

Obb-lih-gay-shun. Chara used lots of words Frisk did not know. Sometimes they could piece together the meaning from other words around it but this time they failed. They could sort of understand what they were trying to say, though: ‘You can tell me yours, but I won’t tell you mine.’

“That’s fine,” Frisk said, hoping they had not been quiet for long enough to disturb Chara. “It’s… kind of silly when I think about it now. The family I was staying with decided to send me back.”

If Frisk’s own expression was stone then Chara’s was mist; half-seen forms flitting just under the surface, a twitch at the corner of the mouth or a narrowing of the eyes which could possibly be a clue to their inner thoughts or maybe just something imagined. Chara’s face twitched and they crossed their arms. “You’re in foster care?”

Frisk nodded. “This was the third one this year. Lots of others, before. Never knew my real mom and dad; the people at the hospital I was left at named me. Frisk because I was always laughing and grabbing onto things, Holder until I was adopted and took my new family’s name. But I’m not the kind of kid that gets a forever family.” They had heard some variation of this from all the older kids about to age out of the system and abandoned when they turned 18. Adoptive parents want a happy, smiling, white infant they could pretend is their own flesh and blood, that they can look at and sometimes forget does not share their blood. Frisk knew this was not quite true, they had known kids their age who were chosen. But Frisk was a darker-skinned eight year old with demon eyes; they insisted on weird pronouns; they did poorly in school; and they got in fights with other kids. With so many strikes already against them they knew in their heart they would not be among the lucky ones.

“So your last name is ‘Holder’ as in ‘placeholder’,” Chara mused. “No wonder you don’t like jokes, that’s a pretty cruel trick to play on a kid. I would probably hold a grudge too.”

“I should be used to it by now. I tried real hard to be cute and helpful and keep my temper and not be any trouble. But it didn’t work. I thought if I was gone they’d miss me and want me back. I heard the rumors about Mt. Ebott but didn’t believe them, not really. I just… thought no one would look for me here. I was gonna go back in a couple days, none of this was s’pose to happen.” They pulled their legs up onto the mushroom and hugged their knees. “Maybe part of me didn’t want to go back. Thought it’d be better if I weren’t anywhere.”

Chara had a smile for every type of occasion: thin with wide eyes and a trembling jaw when they were scared, squinting eyes and an upturned jaw when they were angry, eyes tilted to the lower left when they were being evasive. Frisk had yet to see an actual happy smile from them so they were not sure what that looked like. They bet Chara’s current expression was not it, though. “I… suspected something like that. There aren’t any happy reasons for children to climb Mt. Ebbot. It’s…” They tilted their head, and Frisk somehow knew they were searching for a word the way they had to themselves sometimes. “… not ‘gratifying’, per se, but certainly something like it to know humanity is still terrible. At least I get why you didn’t need me to say why I hate humans, even if they aren’t my reasons.”

“And what are those?”

Chara’s eyebrows arched, but their expression softened when they saw Frisk’s mischievous grin. “I said I didn’t want to talk about it.”

Shrug. “Can’t blame me for trying.” Frisk untied and retied their shoelace. “I just thought you’d like to know why you might be seeing lots of diff’rent people in my memories. Lots of diff’rent parents. Didn’t want you to be confused.”

Chara stared at Frisk for a long moment, saying nothing. Their hand slowly went to their pendant and they stroked it with their thumb. Maybe it was a stim? They seemed to do it whenever they were confused or thinking really hard about something. They floated back and forth along a line in the cave, making little “hm” sounds occasionally. After pacing for about a minute they turned toward Frisk sharply, their smile cold. “Why do you think I can see your memories, Frisk?”

This was a mistake.

“Is it because _you_ can see _mine?”_

They had not been thinking.

Chara was still smiling and their tone was even but their eyes smoldered. “Frisk, if I say I don’t want to talk, what the hell makes you think it’s okay to peek in my head like you’re going through my trash?”

If they had been thinking they should have realized what Chara’s reaction would be. They were a private person who did not like talking about their feelings so of course they would get mad to know Frisk was getting some of their memories. Even if Frisk could not control it, even if it was not their fault, it was still happening. They should have kept it a secret instead of assuming it went both ways. They always did things like this. They always ruined everything by being too careless, too honest, too much like themself. They wanted to crawl into a hole, they wanted to dig through the floor of the cavern and bury themselves and never come out. Somehow they could tell that still would not be enough for Chara to forgive them.

Chara opened their mouth to shout something but stopped as a now-familiar feeling of static washed over Frisk. They looked down to see the familiar red heart, their soul, glowing on their chest. Frisk looked around for the enemy and for a moment could scarcely believe they missed them approaching; a huge, grinning jumbo jet leered down at them from above. Chara looked very pale, the red spots on their cheeks standing out like beacons. “Glyde swooped in,” they said through short breaths. “We’re in big trouble. Glyde is so intent on showing off that he-”

The jet flashed a gleaming smile and destruction rained down. The bullet patterns were so heavy and thick Frisk could not see any openings. Frisk was peppered with blast after blast of magic, and it was all they could do to keep their soul safe at the cost of their body, diving for cover under the mushroom they had been sitting on. In all they must have taken over a dozen blows in just a few seconds. Any relaxation they had received from their rest was gone; they collapsed on the ground, panting heavily as their legs and arms screamed in agony.

Chara finished between their own gasps of pain, “-doesn’t hold back. Frisk, you have to run.”

Frisk could not even turn their head to glare at Chara. They said it was safe here, what was this then?! They had to get out of here. They pulled themself up to their knees and started crawling towards the mouth of the cave, legs still too wobbly to support their weight.

“Too much for you?” the flying creature said as it unleashed another swarm of bullets. “I don’t blame you, I’m too spicey to handle!”

Something heavy hit Frisk in the center of their back and all the pain went away. Instead a vast emptiness filled them, a black hole sucking in everything they were and everything they would ever be. They glanced down and saw their soul with a giant fissure straight down the center, cracks radiating in all directions before shattering into dozens of pieces. Blackness descended on their vision and their body crumpled to the ground, numb and no longer listening to their commands. They could hear Chara scream but it was far away and underwater. They could not bring themself to care, only idly wonder what could possibly have shocked them so badly as everything went black.

* * *

_Something appeared in the darkness. It looked like a face but the features were too blurry to make out clearly. They could tell the pale face was bearded and had a thick head of golden hair but they could not put a name to it. “Don’t lose hope!” the face pleaded in a deep voice. “Chara! Stay determined!”_

* * *

And then everything was bright. They were on a field of snow, broken snow dogs all around them. The glimmering, glittering light was here, just as it was before. And Chara floated just behind them and to the left, the same stupid grin on their face they always had. The pain was gone but the memory of it lingered. Their body was their own, and the cold was the chill of winter and not the anesthetized non-sensation of… death. They died. The monster had killed them. That easily? That simply? They took one wrong turn, stayed in one place a little too long, and they were dead? And then they were here, like none of it had happened. They thumped a palm against their chest, the impact grounding them to the here and now. Their heart felt like it was still pumping, but they could not see their soul. Of course not, it only showed up when they were about to get murdered. Their head filled with thumbtacks at the realization. They thought it had all been a fun game, like paintball or nerf guns. The bullets had been so easy to see coming and simple to avoid, and they just goofed around with the monsters a little and they stopped. But it wasn’t like that at all. The monsters were not fun diversions, they were toddlers with knives. Silly and weak, but still more than capable of killing and they would not have a shred of remorse for the pain they were inflicting.

Frisk looked about them, blinking without blinking as something white hot started building in their chest. They could see in perfect clarity what the next few moments had in store. All the stress and anxiety and fear that had been packed into them over the past few hours was getting ready to burst. They felt perfectly calm and rational but could tell they were not. They were a grenade and their pin had been pulled; regardless of how peaceful they looked no one and nothing could stop them from detonating. “Where… did Glyde go?”

“Glyde?” Chara asked with a trace of panic, whirling about as they scanned the air. “Is he here? That one’s actually dangerous, you… wait, how do you know about Glyde?”

Frisk clenched their teeth and tried to take deep breaths, but everything was building up past the point of no return. Was this one of their jokes? It was as unfunny as all their other jokes and they had no patience for them now. They balled their hands into fists and let the emotions they had been keeping a handle on out. “How could I not know about Glyde, he killed me! He came out of nowhere and shot me a whole bunch and it really hurt, and then he hit my soul and I was dead! And then I woke up back here and you’re pretending you know nothing about it and that you didn’t just… float there and watch when I was in trouble!”

Chara crossed their arms and leaned away from Frisk, still smiling but with an anxious air about them now. “Um… I get that you’re upset, but what on earth are you talking about?”

Frisk’s anger redoubled now that it had found a target. Chara had done absolutely nothing to correct their misinterpretation of what was actually happening during those fights. That was their job, their one job, and they could not even be bothered to do that right. Frisk had left Toriel, a kind woman who just wanted to keep them safe, on behalf of Chara and their stupid barrier. Going through this winter wasteland, dealing with Papyrus and his brother, it was all for Chara’s sake. But did Chara ever thank them for it? Of course not! They thought things would be different here. They thought someone would finally appreciate how much Frisk was willing to do and how much they were willing to sacrifice, but they were wrong weren’t they? They summoned up every ounce of their indignation and lashed out with it like a weapon. “You didn’t tell me they were really trying to kill me! I thought they were playing or acting or something. But they aren’t! If I treat them like the fuzzy and silly creatures you want me to they’ll kill me!”

Chara let out a single “ha” that may have been a laugh. “Come on, these are just teens posturing to try and look cool. They’re no real threat.”

Frisk jabbed one finger at them. “Why are you always so quick to defend monsters? They’re trying to kill a _child_! A kid they’ve never met before today and know nothing about! That’s messed up!”

Chara was still smiling, but their tone revealed their discomfort. “You don’t know what their culture is like. They don’t know they’re hurting you, not really. Most of them probably don’t know what a human looks like anymore. Look, I said I’d help you and I’m doing the best I can…”

“Is that what you call getting the people who trust you killed and laughing about it like it’s a joke?!”

They knew it had been the wrong thing to say the instant the words left their mouth. Chara’s expression showed so much hurt and pain, Frisk could not have done more damage if they had stabbed them. Chara fluttered to the ground, a puppet with their strings cut. They covered their eyes behind their sleeve and their shoulders heaved. They did not speak for a long while. “Yeah,” they said finally in a thin voice. “I guess so. You sure got me pegged, ha ha.” There was not a trace of merriment in that laughter. It sounded like the crinkling of dead leaves.

Guilt and shame bore down on Frisk’s shoulders, the heat draining from their head and the tension leaving their fists. What did they just say? They could not even claim they had not meant it to hurt, they absolutely had. But not this bad, not this much. Was Chara getting… thinner? Frisk licked their lips, taking deep breaths. It was not their imagination. Chara had always seemed a bit see-through, but it was getting more pronounced now. They were steadily fading more and more, like paint getting washed away, and at the rate it was going there would be nothing left in just a few moments. Frisk hurried up to them, their shoes kicking up snow. “I’m sorry, Chara. I didn’t-”

“Don’t.” Chara lowered their head to hide behind their hair. They were almost completely transparent now. “Don’t apologize. You didn’t say anything wrong, or untrue. I… I shouldn’t have come back. This was a mistake.”

Frisk knelt down to look Chara in the face. “Chara, I-”

“Don’t look at me!”

The warning came too late. Chara tried to slap Frisk away but their arm went through them. Frisk looked into Chara’s eyes and _screamed_. Chara’s face was like something out of a nightmare. Their lids and eyes had disappeared, and in their place were impossibly black openings where they ought to have been. It seemed hollow inside Chara’s skull except for a black viscous fluid which oozed out and down their cheeks. Their mouth had also turned into a cavernous abyss, a cracked and jagged maw which devoured all light.

Frisk fell on their backside and scrambled away. “What was that?!” Frisk said, panting. “What happened to your-”

But when they looked again Chara was not there. Not kneeling on the ground, not floating in the air, not anywhere. Frisk scanned the area, calling out again, “Chara?” No response. Didn’t they say before they couldn’t go far? They rushed from one snow dog to another, checking to see if the ghost was hiding behind one of them; no such luck. “Chara?” They called out to the empty clearing. “Chara, are you there? I-I didn’t mean to do that. I didn’t mean to yell. I was just… scared.” That was not the word they wanted, but it was the closest one they had. “A-And I didn’t mean what I said before. I said something wrong and made you mad and then I died and then I was alive and I’m just trying so _hard_ and I feel like you don’t care how hard this is and… Chara, talk to me!”

But nobody came.

“I’m sorry!” they shouted, eyes burning, chest heaving. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it! Whatever I said, I take it back! I promise I’ll never do it again!” They rubbed their eyes and collapsed to their knees. “Come back! Please! I don’t want to be alone! I… don’t…” They were always alone, and this was why. They kept everything bottled up and bottled in, trying so hard to get people to like them and want to be friends with them, but nobody ever appreciated their effort. No one ever wanted to meet them halfway. And then one day they would not be able to contain their frustration anymore and lash out physically or verbally, and then the whole process would start all over again. This time they had not just busted somebody’s nose or sent someone crying to the teacher. Chara was gone, maybe forever. They had killed them. No wonder nobody wanted to be their friend.

They punched the snow and wailed, their cries echoing in the clearing devoid of any other people. They were alone now. All alone in this place of monsters and danger. They had driven away the one person they knew was on their side. Regret was icy stabs in their sides and dripping tears. They deserved to be dead. They should have let that monster kill them and stayed dead instead of-

Wait. Wait wait wait.

There was still a chance. Was what happened then a one-time thing? Did it only happen when they died? Or could they force it to happen? To go back to when they first came to this clearing, when they first touched the glowing star. They clenched their teeth. How did it feel? How did they do it? What to even call it? Going back in time to a specific point, the last time they touched a marker no one else could see? They knew before they finished the question. In those old computer games it was possible to make a save file. That way if you made a mistake and the game became unwinnable you could go back to before you erred. You could undo your mistakes.

You could Load your Save.

They lifted their head and looked around. Chara was just behind them and to the left, smiling in their mysterious and haughty way like nothing had ever happened. Forgetting Chara’s preference and physical state Frisk launched themselves at them, their arms wrapping around empty air as they fell through them and into the snow. Chara admonished, “Okay, first? Don’t hug people without permission. Respect the personal space of others. Second, I’m still a ghost and you can’t touch me. That hasn’t changed since-” A pause as Chara considered Frisk. “Are… are you _crying_?” Chara made a dismissive sound, but it was clearly aimed inward. “Come on, it’s just a hug. It’s awkward for both of us if you cry about something like this.”

Frisk sat up, taking deep breaths. They had to ask. Just once, even if Chara thought it was weird. They had to be _sure_. “Chara… if… I said I was sorry, would you unnerstand?” Their tongue wrapped around the word oddly, as it usually did with almost any word longer than two syllables.

A corner of Chara’s mouth turned upward and one eyebrow rose up a fraction of an inch. “I… would have to say no? Assuming you aren’t apologizing for trying to hug me.”

They really did not remember. Frisk was going back in time, to the moment they touched the glowing light, and Chara did not remember a thing. Like it never happened. Because it did not happen, none of it did. Frisk did not tell them they were getting some of Chara’s memories. Frisk did not die, and they did not kill Chara. But that meant they could not ask Chara about their face or why they disappeared, because that did not happen either. And Chara no longer knew Frisk was a foster child, because they had never told them.

That was alright too. There would be another chance, there would always be another chance. They could make mistakes now. Frisk wiped their eyes, their determination renewed. “Then forget about it. I’m just being silly.” They got back to their feet. The clouds parted and glorious daylight shined down as they opened themselves up to the possibilities of this power. If they were too distant, they could Load and be warmer. If they were too clingy, they could Load and back off. If they gave a gift to someone and they didn’t like it they could Load and get them what they wanted, if they said the wrong word and made someone upset they could Load and take it all back, if anything at all went wrong they could Load and stop it from ever happening. And if they ever reached the point again where they could not handle the stress, they could release the tension and Load to get rid of all the damage. Even death held no power over them. They were unstoppable. They could do everything right, they could be the perfect and clever child everyone wanted them to be. That everyone would want to keep and hold and love.

They privately decided the very first thing they would do was become better friends with Chara. At the next glowing star they would try to get Chara to tell them something about their life before, and they would keep Loading until they learned something new. After all, that was what friends did, right? Share things about each other? So that was what they would do, and they would keep trying until that was what Chara wanted too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read Toriel’s bookshelves then quit without saving, Chara will not remember what a water sausage is when you load your game back up. This is, perhaps, pretty thin evidence to suggest Chara does not remember Loads or Resets, but it’s enough justification for me to play around with the idea.  
> Hopefully this answers any questions people might have about why Frisk was acting so weird at the tail end of the last chapter.  
> Frisk has been keeping their character deficiencies a closely guarded secret up until now. Too many people depict Frisk as some kind of saintly mercy machine with no flaws and no desires other than befriending people trying to kill them. I prefer to think of them as someone who really does mean well but has emotional needs which haven’t been met, and they just got access to a power that would corrupt absolutely anyone who had it. This… could be trouble, mwa ha ha. That being said, I am absolutely not trying to tear down Frisk to raise up Chara; I’d like to think I’ve been pretty forthright about the weak points in Chara’s personality.  
> Thank you for reading!


	6. Thoroughly Bonetrousled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which looks are deceiving.

_They were on a balcony. Far below there was a city stretching all the way to edges of the cavern. From here the monsters all looked like ants, scurrying from place to place, living out their meager lives. A hallway lead into the cavern wall on one side and at the very end an elevator stood with its doors closed. There was someone in front of the elevator. It looked like… a human, perhaps, but not one Chara had ever seen. They seemed to blur and change shape as Chara watched; were they wearing a lab coat? An apron? A tutu? Its outfit seemed to change every time Chara blinked. It was staring at Chara in horror, or maybe terror? They could not see clearly, tears were blurring their vision. Tears? Yes, but not tears of water. Black and foul-smelling tears which seeped through holes in their face where their eyes had once been. Strangely they did not feel panic about this, more like… resignation. Their body felt heavy, though they could tell they were still a ghost. Sorrow and despair filled every fiber of their being along with a vague sense that finally, things were going to be set right. Chara was finally going to do what they had been trying to do for so long. Their body began tearing itself apart, expanding and disintegrating. It hurt for only a moment, then as the pieces of themself withered and vanished they felt nothing at all. The human watched. It made no move. It said nothing._

_Chara died._

* * *

Chara gasped as their eyes slammed open. They touched themselves on the shoulder, hip, chest, head, anywhere and everywhere to make sure their body such as it was still existed. They looked over to see if Frisk was awake but quickly realized they could not tell, the way they kept their eyes shut all the time. Frisk answered the unasked question with their own: “Did you pass out?”

Chara blinked. “I must have. How curious… I thought I did not need to sleep now that I was dead, but I sleep better than ever now. I fall asleep as soon as I mean to. It is different, and not altogether unpleasant.” Nightmares aside. “Have you slept, Frisk?”

They shook their head, then pointed at the wall. Very loud snoring was thundering through from the next room over. They were not sure how they failed to notice it earlier. Frisk rummaged around underneath the sheets, and after a moment kicked off the covers. They were in their striped shirt and cargo shorts again. “I feel pretty rested, though. Are the beds here magic, like the food?” Chara shook their head. “Oh well. Come on, there’s still lots of the town to see.”

The innkeeper flagged Frisk down as they came down the stairs. “Leaving already? Well, you at least look well rested even if you were only up there a few minutes. Here you go, I’ll give you your money back.” She counted out a few 10 G denomination coins and put them up on the counter as Frisk passed. “You can pay us the full amount when you spend a full night.”

Frisk tapped against the counter with a coin and pushed half the pile back. “You can have half if you give me some food. I have snacks but haven’t had a real meal since I came.” Chara wanted to remind them about the pie but could not while they were talking to someone else. That was one of the rules.

The rabbit’s smile became sharper even as her eyes drooped. She looked at the offered coins and pushed half of them back towards Frisk. “Well that’s just no good at all… I’ve got vegetable soup out back, but I can’t charge more than 20 G for leftovers. Ah ah ah, don’t even think about offering more. You’ll need the rest of it for a nice coat. Poor dear, you’ll catch your death of cold wandering around Snowdin with no fur to keep warm! Just remember, that soup is all-you-can-eat, so be sure to get your money’s worth.” Frisk thanked her and took the remaining 60 G. The inn did not have a dining area but Frisk was content to find a spot on the floor while soup was delivered to them in a wooden bowl by a tiny rabbit child. Chara could feel Frisk’s strength returning as they swallowed spoonfuls of the hearty broth.

Chara watched as Frisk ate. They seemed fine now, but just before they got to the inn Frisk had been uncharacteristically… tense. They had been very careful not to overstep their bounds previously, probably an overreaction from when Chara yelled at them back in the Ruins for it. But they got awfully pushy and direct about their last name, something that did not really merit such a tactic. And then there was that line: “Even my parents didn’t want me.” Up until then Frisk had been cheery, or at least upbeat. Chara had nearly forgotten Frisk had climbed Mt. Ebbot, so their story could not be as lighthearted as all that. Chara wondered if that was the first glimpse they had gotten of what Frisk was really like… except if it was, they had completely blown their chance to learn more about them by changing the subject so fast. They could not help it; Frisk’s emotion had been so raw, and Chara had never been good with emotional talk even at the best of times. Now Frisk would be more timid than ever about bringing up their past in front of Chara. But maybe that was okay. Being friends was not part of their deal.

Frisk finished three bowlfuls before their stomach sloshed uncomfortably and they bid the innkeeper farewell. The remainder of their funds went into buying some gloves “for five fingered folk” as Chara put it. Frisk’s torso and head remained toasty warm, but the cold was starting to eat at their extremities. Besides, with Waterfall so close it did not make sense to buy a full coat for the short walk after crossing the entirety of Snowdin Field without one.

The town itself had not changed much from when Chara was alive. True, all the faces were different. What used to be a family home was now a general store, the bar had a new proprietor, Ice Bear had retired and been replaced by an Ice Wolf, and they had finally replaced the sign on the library (now there was only one extra letter, Frisk glanced at it but did not ask for Chara to elaborate or stop by). But Snowdin was still populated by fuzzy, furry, and fatty creatures that did not mind the cold so much. They were still wrapped in ennui, living through the same days over and over where nothing ever changed while distracting themselves with tired jokes. A pine tree had been decorated at the town square and various gift-wrapped boxes had been placed under them.

Frisk tilted their head. “How long was I asleep at Toriel’s? It was Sip… Sep-member when I fell.”

“It still is September, then,” Chara said, happy to at least have some idea of the date. “This isn’t the human holiday you’re thinking of, it’s a tradition about one of the local monsters. The townspeople left gifts for them because local kids kept picking on them, and things kinda went from there.”

“So there’s no Santa down here?” Frisk asked.

* * *

_It was at the castle during their first year. Chara glared at the large monster that was obviously just Asgore in a suit, not even wearing a fake beard as he “ho ho ho!”ed merrily and a monster kid bounced on his knee with childish abandon. Chara craned their neck upward to look at Toriel. “You’re not seriously suggesting I sit on ‘Santa’s’ lap.”_

“ _You have to, Chara!” Asriel said. “You’ve got to tell Santa what you want or you won’t get anything!”_

_Chara snorted. “Oh come on, you’ll be nine years old next month. You don’t still believe Santa’s re-” They cut themselves off when they saw Asriel’s hurt and confused expression, then looked up to see Toriel’s stern unspoken rebuke. They thought fast to extricate themself from the situation. “… Rrrrrrrred. Red. On the surface he stopped wearing a red suit decades ago.”_

_Asriel huffed. “Well, maybe he only wears the red suit when he delivering presents to monster kids!”_

“ _That’s exactly right!” Toriel smiled appreciatively. “Santa knows monsters take longer to learn things because we only get the things humans throw away. If he suddenly showed up wearing his new suit none of the monsters would recognize him! So that’s why Santa wears the red suit in the Underground.” Asriel gasped in awe and amazement, completely buying into the story._

_Oh well, not like any of them would be caught on that lie until long after it stopped mattering. Chara crossed their arms. “I’m still not sitting on his lap. That’s for babies.”_

_That night when they were both lying in bed Asriel admitted he already knew “Santa” was really his dad, but he kept pretending to believe because Asgore loved dressing up in the suit for him. Chara thought that was stupid and said so, and Asriel sighed and said they just didn’t get it. Chara chalked the whole thing up to just another thing happy families did they would never understand and left it at that._

* * *

“The Underground had a Santa once,” Chara deflected. “I don’t know if he’s still doing it.” All the fun might have drained out of it, after… what happened. Frisk nodded and thankfully did not attempt to pry.

Near the edge of town was a roomy-looking cabin. That by itself would not have been terrible notable, but standing if front of it was a familiar-looking short, fat skeleton. Sans waved at Frisk at their approach. “my brother’s waiting for you just down the road. i think he might actually try to fight you.”

Frisk sighed. “I’m not gonna fight him if I don’t gotta.”

Sans shrugged. “relax, you’ll be fine. he’s got this special trick he does where he can make his attack do zero damage. even boss monsters can’t do something that awesome. before i let you go here’s a little tip: papyrus has got this other really cool special attack. just so you know, you can avoid blue attacks by standing still. here’s an easy way to remember: when you see a stop sign, you stop, right? stop signs are red, so imagine a blue stop sign instead. so if you see blue bullets, think of blue stop signs. that’s pretty helpful, right? i’ve got another station at waterfall, if you get past paps i’ll see you up ahead.” And with that he walked off back towards town, his slippers leaving small and light footprints next to but facing the opposite way of Frisk’s own.

Frisk nodded at Chara as they walked past the house. “That’s real easy to memember.”

“You’re welcome,” Chara grumbled. “He stole that from me. I was the one who had to worry about bullet attacks, so I came up with a whole bunch of different mnemonics. Um, those are memory tricks. Like the blue stop sign thing, because blue stop signs are weird so remembering it that way sticks in your mind?” Frisk nodded. “Let’s see… orange bullets are like the finish flag at a race so you run right at them, you have to eat your greens so green bullets are okay, and… ugh, I can’t believe I’ve forgotten the things I was supposed to use to help me remember.” Frisk snickered. Chara rubbed their forehead with their forearm as though wiping sweat off their brow. “Phew, finally got a laugh out of you. I was starting to wonder, after all my jokes kept falling flat. I can understand a kid not knowing ‘snowdecahedron’, but not getting even a chortle out of ‘stone dogger made of pomergranite’ was rough.”

Frisk tried to smile but only succeeded in pulling their lips tight. “I’m… not good with jokes. I’ll try to laugh more.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t think they’re funny,” Chara pouted. Suddenly they looked around. “The fog has gotten much thicker. You try not to leave the path, remembering the river is closer than it seems.”

Frisk took the hint and slowed their pace, putting their hands out in front of them to keep from running into something. After what seemed like a long time the fog thinned out enough to perceive a shape standing in the middle of the path. The shape turned to face them as though it could see perfectly through the fog. “Human,” came Papyrus’ nasally voice. “Allow me to tell you of some complex feelings.”

Frisk spoke up, “Do we have to fight, Mr. Papyrus? I’d really rather be friends.”

“You don’t have to ‘mister’ me, I am still a growing boy!” Papyrus “hmmm”ed as he considered the offer. “But perhaps an arrangement can be made. Will you agree to let me capture you if I accept your friendship?”

Frisk shook their head. “I don’t think friends capture each other.”

“Then for the honor of the Royal Guard, I must decline!” Papyrus fell into a battle pose and the fog cut away in an instant. At the same time Frisk’s soul appeared on their chest. “Prepare yourself, human, for the battle of a lifetime!”

Chara nearly choked. “Uh, Frisk. I have to warn you: I can tell how powerful a monster is by how it feels when they expand their magic field. Papyrus is strong. Really, _really_ strong. Maybe even as strong as… a Boss Monster.” They had nearly tipped their hand by saying ‘Asgore’ but caught themself in time. “Be careful.” Frisk planted their feet and readied themself to dodge the first attack when…! A single bone tumbled lazily across the ground in a straight line. Frisk sidled out of its way and it passed them by. They sighed as they looked at Chara disapprovingly, as though their trust in them had markedly diminished. Hey, whatever happened to “You said it so I know it’s true”? Chara looked back blankly. “He likes to say ‘Nyeh heh heh’? I am not sure what else you are expecting of me.” Papyrus laughed his mentioned trademark laugh as another row of bones lazily crawled past Frisk.

Frisk cricked their neck, ready to take the fight into their own hands. Chara could not help but think they had another bad plan in store. “So… if you don’t want to be friends, could we be datefriends?” Yup, a very bad plan.

“F-Flirting?” Papyrus puffed out his chest. “If you wish to date me, I’ll have you know I have very high standards!”

Frisk bit their lip trying to think of something. “I can make paskemi?”

Chara boggled. They had been trying not to draw attention to Frisk’s mispronunciations but that was too rich to ignore. “Was… that supposed to be ‘spaghetti’? Ahaha! Wow, you’re not even close!” Frisk was trying to ignore Chara’s laughter but by the stiffness in their jaw it was clear they were not succeeding.

Papyrus looked shocked. “Oh no! You’re meeting all my standards! I guess that means I have to date you?” Were his cheekbones blushing? “Then we’ll date later! After I capture you!”

Frisk shrugged. “I won’t fight, but I won’t get captured.”

“Very well,” Papyrus nodded. “Then let’s see how you handle my fabled ‘blue attack’!”

Blue bones assaulted them from every direction. Frisk calmly stood rock solid still as they passed through them harmlessly. Blue stop signs indeed. Then _something_ happened. Another bone slid across the ground, this one white like a normal bullet. Frisk tried to sidle out of the bone’s path but instead tripped over their feet. They hit the snow just in time for the bone to smack them in the face, and they reflexively grabbed at their nose while they rolled in the snow howling in pain. They pulled themselves to their knees, trying to speak while still holding their nose, “Whad did jou do?”

Chara floated in front of them and pointed to their chest. “Your soul, Frisk. You’re blue now.”

It was. Frisk pawed at their chest with one hand while still holding their nose with the other but the color refused to rub off. They moved like they were underwater, slowly and only with great effort. “What doez dat mean?”

Chara just kept smiling. “He’s using gravity magic on you. This one’s a pretty complicated and potent spell, making you heavy on the ground and lighter in the air.”

Papyrus shouted from several feet away, “This is my special, sure-fire human pacification method! You’re blue now. That’s my attack!” He laughed a long and loud “Nyeh-heh-heh-heh!” as dozens if not hundreds more bones sprouted up from the snow around him. They could hardly see the path or the snow anymore; bones stuck up at every angle like the spikes of a porcupine.

Chara tilted their head and put a hand on their cheek, their smile becoming a bit sardonic. “Would you look at that, it seems he is a legitimate threat after all.” Frisk turned pale.

Without giving them another moment to lament their poor fortune Papyrus sent out a wave of bones. They swooped, curved, and crested over the snow, shark fins closing in on Frisk’s position. Frisk moved like molasses, and several bones scraped past their legs.

The skeleton’s voice rang out, “You have to jump them! Geeze!”

“He is not kidding,” Chara warned. “You will move better in the air.” Doubtful, Frisk bent their knees and leapt. Even their tiny hop took them six feet in the air and over several bones. They flailed on the way back down and landed on the snow with a belly flop. “Again!” Chara warned. “Jump again!” Frisk could not move fast enough and a bone slammed into their shoulder with a sharp crack. Frisk tried rolling to safety but even then they wobbled haphazardly. They hardly had time to get to their feet when Papyrus sent a third attack, then a fourth, then a fifth. Each time Frisk had to make a jump from a more and more awkward position, until finally they tripped and fell on their face. Bones approached from every direction but stopped a few inches away. Instead the bones angled to cut off Frisk’s airborne escape path, locking them inside a cage of bones.

Papyrus hopped from one foot to the other, clapping his hands above his head. “I did it! I captured the human!” He marched over to where Frisk was desperately panting to put air back in their lungs. “I will now lead you to the dungeon, or as Sans calls it ‘our toolshed’. There you will wait for Undyne to arrive and take you to the capital. Remember! No escaping!”

Frisk let their head fall to the snow, more out of chagrin than pain.

* * *

In Papyrus’ tool shed turned makeshift jail Frisk lounged in a beanbag chair dejectedly, hiding their eyes behind their hands. “I can’t believe I got beat by _Papyrus_.”

“There there,” Chara said, patting Frisk’s head. Neither of them felt a thing due to Chara’s incorporeality, but Chara got the sense it was the thing to do. “From the way he acted in the snowfields it was impossible to tell he was actually a superb fighter. You are lucky he’s too delicate to attack with the intent to kill, or your carelessness would have cost you your life.”

“It’s Sans’ fault anyway!” Frisk pounded their fist on the chair, which let out only a soft whiff of protest. “He lied about his brother’s attack!”

“He did no such thing. He warned you his brother possessed a special attack, and said blue bullets could be avoided by standing still. Both of those are true statements. It was you who assumed Papyrus’ ‘blue attack’ was the same as the blue bullets we had already faced.”

Frisk crossed their arms. “He still tricked me.”

“Why did you assume Sans was going to tell you how to beat up his brother?”

Frisk had no reply, and sunk deeper into pouting. Chara left them alone and began inspecting the room. It was a disused and mostly empty shed, though it had been kept in quite good shape. There was no dirt on the floor and the windows were spotless; of more immediate importance they were too high off the ground for Frisk to reach. No getting out that way. Frisk was kept in by a series of bars along the west side of the room, a padlocked door off to one side. Frisk’s cell was spacious and roomy, with a table and a beanbag chair Frisk was currently occupying. In the corner of the room was a water dish and a bowl full of what appeared to be dog kibble mixed with spaghetti. On the table was a note from Papyrus saying he would be back soon with Undyne and ‘the human’ was to make themself comfortable while they waited. About half the note was Papyrus writing out his laugh.

Chara stopped and re-examined the room one more time. Something about those bars. They put their hands to the sides of Frisk’s shoulders to get their approximate width. Frisk watched them but said nothing. Keeping their hands in that position Chara floated over to the bars and compared the width represented by their hands to the space between the bars. It was too difficult to suppress a sigh, so they did not. “Frisk,” they said. “You remember what Sans said about the fence on the bridge?”

Frisk rolled out of the beanbag chair and inspected the bars a little more closely. They looked from one bar to another, realization dawning on them. Then they walked right between the bars, not even needing to turn to the side to squeeze through. “Let’s not talk about how long it took us to notice.” Chara silently agreed.

The door of the shed was not locked, so within a moment they were back on the main lane through Snowdin. It was good they escaped before this ‘Undyne’ person arrived, but they were not any closer to the barrier then before facing Papyrus. Chara said, “You will need to find a way to handle the blue attack. Otherwise it is just going to end the same way as last time no matter how feeble the rest of his attacks are.”

Frisk crossed their arms, head down. “How am I s’posed to deal with magic? You lived with monsters, didn’t you learn some magic from them you can teach me?”

Chara shook their head. “I did not. Monsters use bullet attacks and magic effortlessly because they _are_ magic; they can’t teach it to you because a human body is completely different from a monster body. Humans lost the art of spellcasting long ago and you aren’t going to rediscover its secrets by yourself in this town.”

Frisk remembered something just then. “You know _about_ magic. You said Papyrus used… ‘grah-vih-tee’ magic on me? And that turned my soul blue. Oh! And why is my soul red, anyway?”

The ghost sped up to hover in front of them. “I do not know if it will help you, but I can explain that much. Some say the color of the soul represents the kind of person you are, but if you ask me it’s only about as accurate as guessing someone’s personality by horoscope or blood type.”

Frisk asked, “What color was your soul, back when you were alive? And what do the colors mean?”

“Mine was red, the same as yours. Supposedly the colors represent your strongest trait: yellow for justice, blue for integrity, cyan for patience, purple for perseverance, green for kindness, orange for bravery… and I don’t remember what red signifies but I know it was stupid.” Frisk seemed annoyed at them for ‘forgetting’ the most important one, but there was no way Chara was going to say something that lame out loud. “Anyway, certain powerful monsters can affect your soul directly, changing how your body can move or act. In this case blue is for gravity; with gravity magic they can make objects hover in the air, pull something floating or flying to the ground, or make someone so light they can jump like they’re on the moon. Very skilled practitioners can even fling objects from side to side. Papyrus’ version is particularly nasty: as you experienced, having your gravity fluctuate makes it awkward to dodge even relatively simple attacks. It is a dirty trick for a rotten cheater, so I have trouble believing an honest and straightforward skeleton like Papyrus thought it up. Someone else must have taught him how to do that.”

Chara put a hand to their chin. Frisk crossed their arms and looked into the distance. “Probably Sans,” they said in unison.

“On a side note,” Chara finished. “Most monsters can only ever learn a couple different types of magic based on their affinity. Boss Monsters can potentially learn all of them, and are so powerful they can challenge the top practitioners in their area of expertise. It’s not just the height of their powers which puts Boss Monsters on top, it’s their breadth as well. I hope you realize how much Toriel was holding back against you.”

The child was not listening. They walked back through town with a sense of urgency, past the inn and the general store, to the trees just at the town entrance. They rummaged on the ground until they found a stick a little shorter than they were, straight and cleared of needles. Frisk explained, “No matter how good the blue attack is it can’t beat me by itself ‘cause it’s not a bullet, right?” Chara nodded their agreement and urged them to continue. “So, what if I don’t defeat the blue attack… I just get rid of all his other bullets? Come on, I’ll show you.” Aha, so the kid had a plan. Hopefully it was better than the last one. Chara followed, intrigued.

Frisk ran back the way they came and burst into Grillby’s. “Hey Royal Guard!” they shouted. The mentioned dogs stopped their poker game to turn toward the newcomer. “If you’re not trying to capture me anymore, let’s play!” They waved the stick over their head; the moment the dogs saw it their attention was focused, intently watching the branch as Frisk waved it back and forth. “Follow me, I know the perfect place!” They kept waving the stick as they left, leading the Royal Guard along like a pied piper down the streets and back toward the path to Waterfall.

Papyrus was still there, apparently waiting for Undyne. His jaw dropped as Frisk approached. “You escaped, you rascal! If it is a rematch you desire, I will give you heart’s greatest wish!” Once again Frisk’s soul appeared and turned blue, and bones erupted from the ground by the dozen. The Royal Guard seemed apprehensive about Frisk’s motives suddenly.

Frisk calmed them, “Don’t worry guys, I didn’t bring you out here to fight Papyrus for me. I just want to play.” Frisk tossed the stick to themself a few more times, knowing without looking that every member of the Royal Guard was following its movement up and down with rapt attention. They reared back, called out, “FETCH!”, and tossed the stick as far as they could. The Royal Guard surged past them, barking happily. And as they bounded after the stick… they also picked up the bone attacks in their way!

The admiration was clear in Chara’s voice. “I see. The Royal Guard is made up of dogs, and dogs enjoy bones. If you get them to take the bone attacks away Papyrus will be helpless. You are a most ingenious thinker.” Frisk smiled triumphantly.

The Royal Guard was only feet away from the flying stick, eager to begin playing. But the one that caught the stick in their mouth was…

Frisk gasped. “Papyrus?!”

Indeed, Papyrus had leapt sideways to catch the stick in their teeth, grinning broadly at being involved in such a wonderful game. He must have momentarily forgotten the river ran just alongside the path, for his jump took him over the banks and into the river with a splash. Frisk cried out in alarm as Papyrus began thrashing in the stream.

Chara regarded Papyrus coolly, noticing Frisk’s soul had returned to its normal color and faded. “Hm, how curious. I know it was not what you meant, but it certainly was effective in removing him from your path. Well done.”

Frisk looked back at them in horror. “He’ll freeze in there! We have to rescue him!” Without waiting for a reply Frisk fell in alongside the Royal Guard as they ran, loped, and charged after the thrashing form in the water.

Chara called after them, “He’s a _skeleton_ , he doesn’t have skin or blood to free-urk!” Frisk reached the maximum distance and Chara was violently pulled along, the rest of their sentence sputtering uselessly.

Papyrus bobbed up and down in the water like a buoy, carried along by the current toward parts unknown. In just a few moments more he would pass into the caves of Waterfall, where he would never be heard from again. Frisk leapt up on top of Somewhat Lesser than Great Dog but Still a Very Good Dog Dog’s head, wrapped one arm around its neck, and with the other…

“You pet the Dog,” Chara said. “Its excitement knows no bounds.” Frisk pet furiously and decisively, and as they did so Lesser Dog’s neck stretched further and further. The Dogi, remembering dogs can pet other dogs, pitched in by adding their pets to Frisk’s. Lesser Dog’s head shot out like a missile, bringing Frisk to the middle of the river. They leaned down and reached out their hand to Papyrus; the skeleton took it eagerly and Frisk hauled him up onto the dog.

“Wowie!” Papyrus said. “You gave me a really superb stick and even saved me from a trip to Waterfall! I can feel your intense passion for me! To be honest, I… I don’t think I can capture someone who feels as strongly as you. Okay, it’s decided! I give up on capturing you, human! Instead, when we get to shore… we will go on a date!”

Chara was about to ask how that chain of logic made any sense but wisely shut their mouth. Even if Papyrus could hear them they feared the damage their psyche would take trying to follow the twists and turns of the skeleton’s logic. “At least it’s better than trying to kill you,” they decided on. Frisk agreed, though Chara noticed they hesitated a moment before nodding.

* * *

The date was… indescribable. Chara felt embarrassed on Frisk’s behalf just thinking about it. It all ended well, though. Frisk forgave Papyrus for locking them up in the shed and Papyrus apologized for not being able to return Frisk’s feelings, or at least the feelings they imagined they had. Frisk did not have the heart to tell him how mistaken he was and simply said they would get over it.

Papyrus completed the date by giving Frisk his phone number. “Feel free to call me anytime. Platonically, I mean!” Papyrus then turned and made a tiny bow towards Chara. “That goes for you as well, floating auxiliary human! If you wish I will also assist you by becoming a great friend!”

Chara started; they looked from left to right, but this time Papyrus really was looking in their direction. They swallowed and pointed to themself. “By… floating auxiliary human, you mean me?”

Papyrus nodded with fervor. “That’s what I said! I hope I did not offend, I don’t know a better word for what you are. If the human was a wizard I would call you a familiar, and if they were a starship I suppose I could call you an option. Frankly I’m at a loss!”

Frisk smiled widely. Chara guessed they were relieved someone else could confirm Chara really existed and was not just a hallucination, and there was finally somebody they could talk to about the ghost following them around. “How long have you been able to see them?”

“Always.” Papyrus rubbed the back of his head. “I noticed back on the snowfield. I did so want to speak with you once I noticed you shared my love of puzzles, but it seems my brother can’t see or hear you at all and I did not want to leave him out. But it seems instead I made Chara feel left out. Dang! I just wanted to be friends with everyone!”

Chara cringed. Wait wait wait, this was not good! Had they insulted Papyrus to his face, assuming he could not hear them? Or possibly worse, insulted his brother? And more than that…! “How do you know my name?” they asked shakily.

Papyrus shrugged. “Frisk says it all the time when they think no one’s listening.”

Now it was Frisk’s turn to be surprised. “How do you know _my_ name? You wouldn’t let me tell you it before!”

“See above, switching the names as appropriate. Oh, and please keep that a secret. Undyne says I’m not supposed to know or ask for the names of any human that comes through.”

Frisk folded their arms, a dark shadow falling across their face. “Is that so?”

Undaunted, Papyrus continued, “It has always been my policy since ten seconds ago that secrets are the sauce which holds the pasta of friendship together! You keep my secret of knowing about you, and I’ll keep your secret of being you!”

It took Chara a second to parse that. “It’s a deal, I guess.” Papyrus held out his hand for a shake and Chara eyed it nervously. Oh no, not another one…

Frisk rescued them by taking the handshake. “Thank you very much, Papyrus. Can you walk us through Waterfall?”

Papyrus began to sweat. “Actually… I need to head there to distract Undyne. She’s likely on her way right now to hear my daily report, and if we’re together she’ll misunderstand and think I’m delivering you to them. I’d better go on ahead to make sure she doesn’t come directly to town and find you here!”

Frisk asked, “Before you go, can you tell us… what kind of person is Undyne?”

“Undyne is the best!” Papyrus said. “The kids love her because she’s violent and cool! She’s super strong and super dedicated to the Kingdom of Monsters! Also, she keeps watch over Waterfall all on her own. You know, beating up bad guys, making sure nobody hurts the grass, that sort of thing. So it might be a teensy bit dangerous. But once you get past Waterfall you’ll nearly be at the castle! Just take the elevators up through Hotland and the Core and you’re there. Then you’ll meet the King. Everybody loves that guy! Just ask him, ‘Mr. Dreemurr, can I go home?’ and I’m sure he’ll take you to the barrier himself!”

Chara bit their lip. It was not that simple, it could not be that simple. They had touched the barrier firsthand, a human soul was not strong enough to penetrate it alone. And Toriel’s warning echoed in their head: “Asgore will kill you.” They had still not reconciled her words with what they knew of him. Toriel may not have changed too much since they had been alive… but Sans had. They could not rely on what Asgore used to be like to predict what his current behavior might be. But still, to kill humans…

Frisk nodded. “Okay, I’ll find a way to sneak through. I’ll call you if I need any help.”

Papyrus and Frisk gave each other a thumbs-up. They both stared meaningfully at Chara, who half-heartedly returned the gesture. Oh well, at least they had gotten through Snowdin in one piece. Maybe, just maybe, the two of them could find a way to pull this off after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite being mortified by losing so badly, Frisk does not Load after the Papyrus fight because they did a lot of things since their last Save. While their memory is good they don’t want to redo more than they absolutely have to.  
> Of the two skeleton brothers, Papyrus is much more likely to be aware of Chara’s presence. He stares out at the screen when talking to Frisk as if he knows the player is watching, he knows what the rooms you’re in look like when talking on the phone, and even tries to hold drawings up to the receiver and expects you to be able to see them. He knows and sees many things he should not, so it stands to reason he can probably see Chara. Or maybe I’m just being reactionary to all the writers who give Sans tons of superpowers but leave his brother out in the cold, or at best picking up scraps? Hell if I know.  
> Option: A reference to the Gradius series of space shooters; an option is a small pod that hovers just next to your ship.


	7. At Waterfall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I mess up with gender pronouns anywhere, it’s probably going to be in this chapter. I like to think I’ve been pretty good about keeping Chara and Frisk as they/them, but the game never assigns any pronouns to Monster Kid and I’m not a clever enough writer to consistently word sentences to avoid having to do it for the entire Waterfall arc. My intent is to use it/its for Monster Kid, but because I personally am a cisgendered straight male I am not at all practiced at using pronouns outside of the masculine and feminine so I might mess up. If I do, please point it out to me in a review or comment and I will fix it when I am able; I am not malicious, just inept.

_Shining stones glittered in the ceiling of the cave far above. Chara and Asriel laid on their backs next to each other, watching the reflected lights flicker and dance. Tiny wisps of light which may have been fireflies danced in the grass around them, but it was the distant lights which captured their attention. “Do real stars look like this?” Asriel asked his friend._

_The reply came swiftly, “They look pretty similar at a glance, but they aren’t much of a substitute. Real stars move and change from night to night. Sometimes clouds cover them up and you can’t see them, but the moon will shine brightly enough to be a luminescent haze. If you can get far, far away from everyone else you can even see a curtain of stars of all different colors. The night sky isn’t as dark as the cavern roof, but it looks deeper. Vaster. Like you could fly straight up for a hundred years and never touch it.”_

_Asriel’s eyes sparkled, and his mouth hung open in wonderment. “Wo~w,” was all he said for a time. Then he asked, “You really love stars, don’t you?”_

“ _Of course. I get my name from a star after all. They’re one of the only things I miss about the surface.”_

“ _Do you miss anything else about up there? Your friends? Your family?”_

_Chara tensed noticeably, and when they spoke again their voice had gained a cold edge. “I don’t want to talk about the surface anymore.”_

“ _C’mon, Chara! You’re the only one who’s ever seen it. It’s what we’ve all been striving towards our whole lives! Every monster, for generations. Isn’t it obvious I’d want to know more about it? And you’re my best friend! I want to know more about you and where you come from. I’m so boring compared to you, just a prince who’s never done anything or had anything exciting happen to him.”_

_Chara said nothing for a long while. Then with a sort of clinical detachment and without losing their false smile they told a story: “In a certain country, there is a tribe with a unique punishment for anyone who commits a crime against their own family. The person’s family holds a funeral ceremony, puts up a gravestone or shrine, rent out the person’s room, destroys their old clothes, and other such things you would do for a deceased family member. They tell each other that person is dead, and from that moment on no one will acknowledge their existence. Nobody will respond if they try to speak, no one will ask for them, no place will be set at the table for them, and they stop celebrating any of that person’s accomplishments or birthdays. Even if someone from outside the family tries to intervene and force them to confront the person nothing changes; they will go back to pretending the person does not exist as soon as the third party leaves. At best the person will be treated as an angry ghost or an evil spirit, something to be punished and exorcised rather than a family member.”_

“ _They do that? To their own family?!” Asriel hugged his shoulders and shivered. “I don’t like this story, Chara.”_

_Chara continued staring up at the ceiling impassively. “I don’t like that story either, Ree. Forget I mentioned it.”_

* * *

“so, lemme ask you a question.”

Frisk ran into Sans just as they entered Waterfall, and to thank them for being nice to his brother the skeleton had invited them to Grillby’s. Frisk happily accepted the offer of free food, even though the burger was probably too big for them to eat in one sitting. They chewed away on the greasebomb while Sans made small talk about Papyrus, Snowdin, and things that had been happening in the area recently. What Chara wanted to do was grab Frisk by the shoulders and shout at them until they understood the “shortcut” Sans used was _not at all_ normal. Unfortunately the bar was crowded and Frisk seemed like they were having enough trouble parsing the aural stimuli they were already getting without adding a panicky ghost to the mix. So Chara let their mind drift. They snapped back from their daydream as Sans’ tone downshifted and his whispers became more conspiratorial.

“… have you ever heard of a talking flower?”

Frisk stopped chewing and Chara’s throat closed up. Flowey. They had not heard from them in a while, and it was starting to make both of them antsy. Frisk slowly, carefully nodded.

“so you’ve heard about it.” His smile broadened. “the echo flower. my brother says there’s a flower that tells him things. advice, encouragement… predictions. i think somebody’s using an echo flower to play a prank on him. just keep an eye out, alright? those things can surprise you if you’re not careful.” Frisk nodded. “welp, i gotta get back to work. by the way, i forgot my wallet. can you cover the bill? it’s 10,000g.” The burger stopped halfway to Frisk’s mouth and they gave him a crestfallen look. He relented, “nah, just kidding. grillbz, put it on my tab.” He started getting off his stool at the bar but stopped halfway, a vacant look in his eyes. He shook his head and shrugged it off, “i was gonna ask you something else, but i forgot. prob’ly not important, then.” He waved behind his back as he left. Frisk was content to finish their burger before following him out and getting back to their task.

As soon as they left the pub Chara said, “You do know his ‘shortcut’ wasn’t magic, right? Magic can’t affect anything outside of a monster’s magic field, and if there’s anyone capable of extending their field half a mile it’s not Sans. Something weird is going on with that skeleton.”

Frisk shrugged. “He’s your friend, you would know.”

“Sans is _not_ my friend. For one thing I’m dead and he doesn’t know I’m here. For another he completely forgot about the promise he made. I’m not friends with liars.” They could have sworn Frisk stiffened a bit at this, but Chara might have imagined it.

The pathway leading up to Waterfall’s entrance was still a bit foggy. Chara did not know why visibility was so consistently poor next to the river. Frisk had a pretty good idea of where the path was after walking it four times, but being unable to see precisely where the riverbank was still made Chara nervous. They had made it nearly to the mouth of the cave and the mist was thinning out when they became aware someone else was just in front of them. A lizard-like monster in a striped shirt ambled into the cave to Waterfall. As soon as it was inside it turned to look back the way it came, starting at seeing Frisk and falling onto its backside. Frisk hurried their pace and offered their hand to help it up only to notice the monster kid had no arms. MK either did not notice or did not feel offended by this faux-pas. “Oh, you’re a kid too, huh? I can tell because of the striped shirt. I thought you were an adult and I was in trouble. So did you sneak away to see her too?” Frisk tilted their head. “Undyne! She’s the captain of the Royal Guard, and she’s totally awesome! I hope we get to see her dish out some righteous justice! Waterfall is a little dangerous for kids, so you don’t have to come with me. But don’t tell my parents I’m here, okay?” Now that MK could actually see where it was going it broke into a run and disappeared further inside.

Frisk poked at their own stripes. “Monsters dress their kids in stripes too?”

Chara explained, “Visual shorthand. Monsters come in lots of shapes and sizes so it can be tough to tell the difference between a child and a monster that’s just naturally small. If the kids are all in stripes you can tell at a glance who needs looking after and who would feel patronized. And before you ask, I haven’t known how old I am for a long time. I think I was seven or eight when I fell down and died a little less than two years later so I’d be 9 or 10 now.” This seemed like a good time to subtly ask something they had been meaning to for quite some time. “Of course, that was back in 201X and I don’t know how long I was dead for.”

Frisk started counting something out on their fingers, mumbling to themselves. After a moment they held up three fingers on their right hand and one on their left. “This many!” they said proudly. Four? That did not sound right. Sans could not possibly have gotten that much older in just four years, it was-

Wait. No. Not four, but three-and-one.

“Thirty one?!” Frisk shrunk back, their triumphant smile vanishing. “It’s 204X now? I’ve been dead more than thirty years? Why didn’t you tell me-” They stopped, seeing the terrified expression on Frisk’s face. “No, I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. It’s my fault for not asking sooner.” Frisk made a tiny nod but seemed deep in thought. Or, Chara thought glumly, like someone standing on the windowsill of a skyscraper mulling over their options. Finally Frisk shook their head and the strange feeling vanished. They did not, however, attempt to resume the conversation. Instead they marched into cavern, entering Waterfall, Chara following close behind.

Thirty one years… they had trouble wrapping their head around that. They had been dead for thirty one years. That would certainly explain Sans and all the changes in Snowdin, though it left them in a difficult situation regarding Asgore. A lot could change in thirty years. An awful lot. They tried not to think about it too much. It would all make sense when they reached the castle.

* * *

“Hey, is that Papyrus?” Chara looked up. Papyrus was across the river from where they were. He was standing in place, shifting his weight from one foot to another while glancing further into the cave every half minute.

“He said he was going to meet with Undyne,” Chara reminded Frisk. “He’s probably waiting for her to show up… hey, you’d better hide somewhere before she comes in. We don’t know what her reaction to a human will be but it might be bad.” Frisk nodded and dove into a nearby patch of tall grass, peeking out from between the blades.

It was not long before they heard plated footsteps approaching. A tall figure in silvery armor emerged from the tunnel opposite Papyrus and strode toward him purposefully. “Undyne!” Papyrus greeted the figure. He snapped to attention. “I am here to deliver my daily report!” Undyne made a bored gesture with her hand, urging him to get on with it.

Frisk pointed at Chara, then at the armored figure, then cupped a hand around their ear. “You want me to get closer so I can hear them better?” Frisk nodded. Hey, they were a pretty good pair when it came to charades. “Alright, but only because I want to hear more about Undyne.” Chara left the safety of the grass. They were not able to get more than a few feet closer, but it should be enough to hear Undyne as long as she did not speak in a whisper. Papyrus turned his head slightly and sweat beaded on his forehead. “Relax,” they said to him. “She can’t see or hear me, so just act normal. Er, as normal as you get. Pretend I’m not here.”

Papyrus’s voice cracked, but he started again, “Well, uh… regarding the human I called you about earlier…”

Undyne’s voice echoed from within the armor, harsh and throaty. “Yeah, I gave you orders to stand by. Don’t tell me you actually fought them?”

“D-Did I fight them?” Papyrus said, hand still at his forehead. “Yes! I fought them valiantly…”

“Wait, really?!” Undyne leaned forward. “Did you capture them? Papyrus, did you actually capture them?!”

Papyrus swallowed. “W-Well… no. I tried my best, but… I failed.”

Undyne sighed and straightened up. “You fought them but didn’t capture them…? Well, it was still very brave of you. I don’t like that you disobeyed my orders but in the circumstances, with a human running around and the people of Snowdin unaware of the danger… I’m just glad you didn’t get hurt. Return to Snowdin and hole up. The human might already be here in Waterfall and that makes them my problem now. You don’t need to worry, I’ll take their soul and bring it to King Asgore.”

“Wh-what?!” Papyrus tensed. “But Undyne, you don’t h-have to destroy them! You see-”

Undyne’s shout cut him off, “Oh my god, I knew it! You befriended them, didn’t you?!” Papyrus had no response to that. “Papyrus, how many times have I told you? Humans are the enemy! They are a threat to the future of all monsters!” She put a hand on Papyrus’s shoulder. “Can’t you hear them, Papyrus? The generations of monsters before us who cry out for vengeance? The people of the capital who yearn for freedom? Our descendants yet to be born under the clear blue sky? All of their voices are joining as one! We all stand together, and the human is alone in their desire to destroy our bright future!” She pulled him in close but did not reduce the volume of her speech. “And that’s why you’re going to forget about friendship and put your duty to the people first! That’s what a true member of the Royal Guard would do. Get it?”

Papyrus nodded slowly. “… I understand. I’ll help you in any way I can.”

Undyne released him. “Good. I’ll contact you if I need anything else. Dismissed!” Papyrus saluted once more and scurried away back to Snowdin. Undyne walked back down the tunnel she came from, and Chara drifted back to Frisk.

Frisk whispered, “So? What did you find out? What is Undyne like?”

Chara swallowed, their face grave. “Well…” they hedged, shivering. “You aren’t going to want to hear this, but…” They balled their hands into fists and pressed them into their cheeks, shaking with excitement. “Undyne is the freakin’ _coolest!_ She’s strong, she’s sassy, she’s confident, she has the _best_ speeches, andandand…! You’ve gotta be her friend, Frisk! You’ve just gotta!”

Frisk could only sigh. “Is she like Papyrus, or like the other monsters?” In other words, did they want to capture them or were they naive and ignorant about how dangerous their magic was to humans?

That killed Chara’s mood. They averted their eyes and tapped their index fingers together. “Weeeeell… neither.” They cringed. “She personally wants you dead and will actively attempt to kill you as soon as she sees you.” Chara’s head sunk between their shoulders under Frisk’s suddenly fierce glare. “I hope that’s not a deal breaker?”

Frisk crossed their arms. “Not. Funny.”

Chara said, “Yeah, it sucks but friendship’s probably not going to happen. I’m a big kid, I can accept disappointment. For real though, your best bet is to sneak through and not let her see you. It seems most monsters still don’t know what a human looks like so as long as you don’t draw her attention-”

That was when they noticed Frisk was staring at something over their head in slackjawed terror. Chara turned around and realized they were face-to-kneecap with Undyne. When had she snuck up on them, and how? They hurriedly retreated to Frisk’s side so they could watch her without straining their neck. Undyne’s single glowing eye glared at them from the helmet as she looked Frisk up and down. After a tense moment they said, “You two better not be horsing around. The grass is important for the scientists at Hotland, don’t go trampling it.” She then stepped backward until her form had been completely enveloped by the shadows and her glowing eye winked out.

You two?! Chara dared to hope that Undyne could see them too. Maybe it would be possible to be Undyne’s friend if they could convince her they were just an ordinary ghost and a strange-looking monster. Nothing weird going on here, a human?, what’s that?, never heard of it, actually I have heard of humanity and they suck, let’s bond over our mutual hatred of-

“Oh wow!” a loud voice rang out behind them. They both turned to see the Monster Kid. “Did you see the way she looked at you? I’m soooo jealous!” Oh, of course. By “you two” she obviously meant Frisk and this monster kid. Because Chara was a ghost and only Frisk could see them. Well, Papyrus too but he was an exception to most common rules and common sense. “C’mon!” the kid said. “Let’s watch her beat up some bad guys!” It dashed further into the caverns, tripping and falling on its face but quickly recovering and disappearing from view.

Chara watched him go once again and said, “I hope that kid won’t be too disappointed, there aren’t many bad guys in the Underground.”

Frisk looked at them blankly. “Besides us.”

Chara rolled their eyes. “Now now. You might be human but you’ve made it this far without being completely awful.” Frisk nodded uneasily.

* * *

“Okay, here’s the trick to bridge seeds,” Chara explained. “They sprout if you put them in the water, but only if you put them in a straight line. No curves, no boxes, a straight line or you get nothing. Okay, let’s practice.” They looked around at the room. “Hey, there’s a weird sign in the middle of the river. Line up the seeds so we can see what it says.”

Frisk swallowed nervously. “Can’t you just fly over and read it?”

A pause. “Maybe? It might be too far. Let me try.”

Chara floated over the water, holding their hands out in front of them so they would know where the invisible boundary was before hitting their nose on it. They were able to get close, but just barely. They read the sign and looked over at Frisk. “You won’t believe me if I tell you what it says.” When Frisk gave them a quizzical look they read it out loud: “‘Congratulations! You failed the puzzle!’”

Frisk frowned and put their hands on their hips. “It does not say that! You’re making that up!”

“It’s right here, you can read it yourself.”

They expected Frisk to start collecting bridge seeds to prove them wrong. Instead they turned and looked downriver. “I think there’s something over there. Will you help me line up the seeds to check it out?”

They did. Within moments they had crafted a bridge to reach an alcove tucked into the side of the river. All that was in the room was a park bench, perfect for taking a lazy afternoon nap. It was rather cozy and peaceful, if not for the echo flower nearby. “I just wasn’t ready for the responsibility,” it whispered. Chara was about to laugh at the absurdity when they noticed Frisk had bent down to look under the bench.

“There’s a lone quiche under the bench here,” Chara narrated. Frisk took the small quiche, no bigger around than their hand, and stared at it. They rotated the spinach-egg pie in their hands, their face unreadable.

‘Even my parents didn’t want me.’ That was what Frisk had said. Chara could tell there were a number of conflicting emotions running through Frisk right now. Chara had run away from this discussion before and Frisk had been kind of snippy towards them ever since. They should not have cared about that- no, they did not care. But it was rough when there was a constant low-level animosity between them and the only person they could talk to regularly. Maybe… maybe this was their chance to patch things up. “Did you want to talk about it?” Chara said, softening their tone. “I can at least listen.”

Frisk sighed, still not tearing their gaze away from the quiche. “I was too little to memember anything. I don’t know their names or faces. No notes, no clues, no way to find out who they were. When I was younger I wanted to know why they left me.” Frisk tucked the quiche in one of their many pockets. “I know now. They knew what kind of kid I was gonna be and that I wasn’t worth keeping. So they got rid of me.”

“What?” Chara was taken aback. “W-Why would you say something like that? Even I-”

Frisk sniffled. “You don’t have to say anything. There’s nothing you can say I haven’t heard already. The teachers and parents and social workers say it when they think I can’t hear them, and the other kids all say it to my face. I know, okay? I know I’m stupid.”

Chara tilted their chin up to look down at Frisk. “No.”

Frisk turned. “No?”

“No, I don’t accept that. You figured out Toriel wasn’t really going to kill you when even I who had known her for years had my doubts. You used the Royal Guard against Papyrus, and even saved him from that river with your quick thinking. I don’t accept you’re stupid, you’re clearly not. Just because some dumb humans say it doesn’t mean you have to let them label you,” said the child who called themself a demon, ignoring their own raging hypocrisy. “So now the question is, why do you _think_ you’re stupid?”

Frisk tramped back across the flower bridge. “I think I’m stupid because I _am_ stupid. I don’t wanna talk about this any more.”

Oh no, they were not getting away that easily. They had piqued Chara’s curiosity. This was like a puzzle, and they liked those. They put their brainpower to work while casually leading Frisk in the right direction to finish the bridge seed puzzle properly. Maybe Frisk thought they were dumb because other kids made fun of them at school? Tautology, Greek for “repeating what has been said”. The other children were not harassing them because they were harassing them, there has to have been a start point somewhere. They tried to think about how Frisk had acted in the past few hours. They only spoke at length with Chara, and even then only when they thought no one else was around. Well, they could not know associating with Chara was a bad idea so that would not count. They had trouble with money, but lots of kids Frisk’s age did. Even Chara was not so good at counting change. They did not show their emotions much, which they could imagine being made fun of for but that would not cause them to internalize the jeers so much.

It was not until the last bridge seed was placed that Chara hit upon the solution. Frisk had walked straight past almost every sign in the Ruins. They ignored every bookshelf in Toriel’s home. They did not bother to verify whether Chara was telling the truth about that sign in the river despite not believing them. They looked right at the librarby sign and did not even flinch. Chara swallowed, the smile disappearing from their face. “You can’t read.” Frisk whirled around, teeth bared in a grimace. “You can’t read, and you thought I would make fun of you for it because everyone else does. That’s it, isn’t it?” The child lowered their head, jaw trembling, their hands balled into fists. Chara could feel waves of anxiety and shame radiate off of them. “Did you never learn, or…?”

“I tried,” Frisk said, voice quivering. They repeated in a shout, eyes wet, “I tried so many times! But the letters don’t make any sense, and they move when I try too hard! It takes me so long that by the time I’m done I forgot how the sentence started.” They sniffed, wiping their eyes on their sleeve. “But it’s not just that. I talk like I’m five. My voice sounds weird. I can’t think of a word and I stop talking. And I get even simple words wrong like ‘memember’ and ‘popato chisps’.” Frisk snorted. “And ‘paskemi’.”

Chara winced at that last one, turning their head away. No wonder they were so mad! “I-I’m sorry. Laughing at that was really rotten of me. But I still mean what I said, you’re not stupid. You’re alive and I’m not, so already you’re much smarter than I am.” Frisk nodded but said nothing. Uuuuugh, they blew it _again_. Why were they so bad at this? “Look, I-I’m really sorry about laughing before. I’ll make it up to you. Ask me anything and I’ll answer it. Even if it’s embarrassing or I didn’t want to talk about it before. Really, anything.”

For a moment it seemed like even this did not work. Frisk turned in place and walked on, letting the offer dangle. After crossing the bridge seeds they said over their shoulder, “I’ll think about it.”

Chara wanted to say something else but Frisk’s phone rang suddenly. They fished it out of their pockets hurriedly and put it to their ear. “Toriel?!” they asked hopefully.

“Nyeh?” came the voice from the other end. “Tow-ree-el? Is that how you answer phones on the surface? How quaint! Here in the Underground we just say ‘hello’! On that note, hello human! It is I, your mutual friend Papyrus!”

Chara could tell Frisk felt bad about being disappointed about it only being Papyrus on the other end of the line. “How did you get this number?” they asked.

“How did I get this number?” he repeated. “I just dialed every number sequentially until I got yours!” Well that was certainly one way to do it. “Anyway, I called for a favor. My… uh, friend… thinks they saw you but wanted to be sure. She said you were wearing a cute ribbon. Is that true? Are you wearing a cute ribbon?”

Frisk seemed confused until Chara pointed to the red ribbon currently tied around their right bicep. They had picked it up in the Ruins and had completely forgotten about it until now. “You know the friend is Undyne, right? But it’s fine, you can trust Papyrus. He’s our friend, he’s not going to sell us out to somebody who wants you dead.”

Frisk agreed with this and informed Papyrus he was correct. “So you are wearing a cute ribbon!” Papyrus audibly winked, somehow. “I completely understand! I’ll talk to you again later! And tell Chara not to make silly faces while I’m trying to talk to my commanding officer, it’s very distracting!” With that he hung up. Weird, Chara did not remember making any faces while eavesdropping on Undyne and Papyrus’ conversation. Not that they were paying much attention to what their face was doing, but it was equally likely Papyrus found any human expression silly. Though with a grin like that maybe he should not be throwing stones.

* * *

The plaques on the wall told the history of the Monster Kingdom. Now that they knew Frisk could not read them Chara did not feel the slightest bit self-conscious about reading them aloud. The plates told of the powers of the soul, about how human souls were so much stronger than monster souls but a monster which killed a human could absorb that soul for themself. Chara tried to keep their voice from shaking, but there was a visual aid of the kind of creature that would be born if such a thing were to happen. “There’s something very unsettling about this drawing,” they lied about the true reason for their discomfort.

“And that’s why everyone wants me dead,” Frisk said. “Because they’ll be much stronger if they apsorb my soul.”

“That can’t be it,” Chara said. “If monsters only cared about power they would have killed me the moment they saw me. My time in the underground would have lasted two seconds, not two years.”

“Maybe that’s how it was thirty years ago. Maybe it’s not the same now.” Chara had no reply to that. Could it be true? After hundreds of years in exile could the monsters have only now become desperate? Could their basic nature have changed so they lusted for power and no longer cared for kindness? They thought of Papyrus and his unwillingness to kill, the innkeeper and the soup she humbly offered, and even Sans cared in his own way. No, monsters were still the same as ever. So why-

They caught movement out of the corner of their eye and were nearly too late. “Frisk, get back!” they shouted. Without waiting for an explanation Frisk leapt backward as a magic spear sliced through the air just where they had been and stuck into the pier. Their red soul appeared on their chest at the last moment before the spear would have hit them. Both of them had seen where the spear came from; Undyne was waiting on the shore, conjuring up more magic spears. She must have expanded her magic field after the spear was already in flight, a sneak attack which would have killed Frisk without giving them any warning. It was an underhanded technique for a warrior or an assassin. Undyne was _definitely_ different from other monsters. “It’s Undyne! She knows what you are now! _Run for it!_ ”

Frisk did not need to be told twice. They took off in a sprint. More spears flew through the air, surging past them at a rate far faster than a single person could throw with their arms. The spears splashed into the water and the pier, filling the air with droplets of water and wooden splinters. Frisk looked behind them to try and see when a spear was coming. Only a shout from Chara warned them the pier curved up ahead; they had been about to run straight off and into the water.

“Eyes in front!” Chara shouted. “I’ll look out for the spears, you focus on speed!” Frisk did not respond but they kept their face forward. Undyne was keeping pace with them on the shore, her spears continuing to fall in a never-ending torrent. Chara kept watch, telling Frisk to move left or right as spears came close to hitting them. But this was no good, Chara realized. Frisk could not run forever. Sooner or later they would tire out or take a hit, and then they were done for. They needed an escape. But where? This was Undyne’s territory, where could they possibly go to be safe from-

‘She keeps watch over Waterfall all on her own. You know, beating up bad guys, making sure nobody hurts the grass, that sort of thing.’ ‘The grass is important for the scientists at Hotland, don’t go trampling it.’ Could it be…?

“Frisk, run into the grass!” Chara told them. “Undyne won’t use magic against you there!” They could sense Frisk’s distrust, though they made a beeline for the thick swamp grass anyway. The spears stopped the moment Frisk set foot in them. They hit the dirt and moved as slowly and silently as they could deeper into the brush. Carefully, oh so carefully, crawling on their stomach so as not to rustle the grass and give away their position. They stopped when they heard her clanking footsteps drawing closer. Frisk did not dare breathe. Even knowing Undyne could not see them Chara was too scared to even warn Frisk Undyne was right behind them.

Undyne reached down, her mailed hand missing Frisk by inches. Instead she grabbed onto… the Monster Kid? How was it getting everywhere? Disgusted, Undyne said, “This place is dangerous, there’s a human on the loose. Clear out and go back home.” She put MK down and trudged away. Only then did Frisk exhale.

“Oh man, that was amazing!” MK beamed. “Did you see that? She actually touched me! Ah, I’m never washing this face again.”

Frisk tried to keep the shaking out of their voice. “G-Good f-f-for you. I-I’m really jealous.”

“I bet you are. If you’d only been a biiiit further to the left… well, there’s always next time, right? Come on, I’ll meet you up ahead!” The monster kid ran off and disappeared into the gloom. Frisk was too busy trying to put air back in their lungs to respond. After a few deep breaths they shakily got to their feet and stumbled through the grass. “Th… thank you,” they said to Chara with a small smile. “I don’t know what I would have done without you, it’s been so long since my last-” They bit their tongue, smile vanishing. “Just, thank you.”

Chara shrugged. “Just doing my job. I have to be useful sometimes or I feel like I’m not earning my keep.”

The next room had a table with a piece of cheese on it, although somehow a hard crystal had encased the cheese and made it inedible. A mouse hid in a nearby mousehole, rubbing its hands together while staring at the cheese. For some reason it cheered them up. _“_ Knowing the mouse might one day extract the cheese from the mystical crystal… it fills you with determination.”

Frisk… shifted. They no longer appeared quite so haggard; their face had returned to their normal color and there was no longer any sweat on their brow. “I think I know what I want to ask you,” Frisk said. Chara perked up. “You said before you didn’t have many friends. Besides Sans, what other friends did you have while you were alive?”

* * *

_Chara hummed a little tune as they dragged the yellow crayon across the paper, filling in the petals on their drawing. It was true that drawing with crayons was for little kids, but it was something they could do on their own so they did not mind being childish. They were lying on their stomach in Asriel’s room, legs kicking back and forth over their knees in a slow rhythm, their feet upside-down pendulums. Even a month and a half after getting their own bed they did not like to refer to it as “their room”. Part of them still felt like an intruder, a guest who was overstaying their welcome._

_A shadow fell over them. They had been watching him in their peripheral vision since he entered the room so they were unsurprised by his appearance, one of the few benefits of hypervigilance. “What are you drawing?”_

“ _It’s a golden flower, Asriel,” they answered without looking up._

“ _I see that, but-”_

“ _No, that’s its name. Golden flower. Scientifically it’s called_ asteraceae priphea _.”_

_Asriel walked around to Chara’s side and tilted their head, studying the picture a little more closely. “I’ve never seen that kind of flower before. It looks a little like a daisy, but it’s different.”_

“ _It’s pretty rare on the surface too. It only grows around Mt. Ebott. But bad soil, poor water, negligent care, those don’t matter; they’ll grow and grow no matter what kind of difficulties they find.” They smiled. “It’s sort of inspiring, isn’t it? That’s why they stand for ‘determination’ in the language of flowers.” They tapped the crayon against their chin, debating whether to add one more layer of yellow to make sure they did not miss any spots or to move on and fill in the stem. They decided they were done with the petals for now and picked up the green crayon._

_Asriel fidgeted with his fingers and scrunched up his jaw. He opened his mouth, then closed it again to reconsider his words. Finally he blurted out, “Chara? Are we friends?”_

_Now there was a stumper. Chara lifted their head to meet Asriel’s concerned gaze. “I’m… not sure. I don’t mind being with you, but I haven’t had friends before. I don’t know what they’re supposed to be like.”_

“ _So you too?” Asriel sat down on folded legs. “Do you think we’re supposed to do something? Like, do we have to say some words or have a secret handshake before we can call ourselves friends?”_

_Chara shrugged. “I saw a cartoon once where people would cut their palms and shake hands so their blood would mix.” They scratched at the scar on the underside of their left wrist, wide and pink and jagged, but refused to look at it. “But monsters don’t have blood and I don’t think your mom would let us borrow a knife for that.” They rotated the crayon every couple strokes, hoping to wear it down evenly so it would form a neat point again._

_Asriel stared at Chara’s art piece, brow furrowed in thought. He scooted over so he was just beside Chara and asked, “Hey Chara. I thought of something. If it’s okay for me to touch you briefly, look up!”_

_Oh dear, they had gotten a strange idea again. Chara sighed and put their crayon down, taking a moment to mentally prepare themself before looking up at him. “Alright, what’s-”_

_Their entire field of vision was filled with the face of a goat child. Asriel crashed his forehead into Chara’s leaving them with a dull ache. They put a hand to their head and stared. “What… on earth…?”_

“ _Friendship headbutt!” he called out gleefully. “We’re friends now!”_

_(it hurts)_

_Chara blinked. Twice. Then their confusion sputtered into laughter and they covered their mouth. “Asriel, you are so weird!” But now that they thought about it, this was a big deal to him. Toriel had warned Chara to keep their hands to themself and to never hit a monster no matter how mad they were. Monsters were fragile, especially if their attacker had cruel intentions. Letting a human hit him meant Asriel trusted they had absolutely no desire to harm him. He was trusting them with his life. That sounded a lot better than something unsanitary like bleeding on each other. “Okay then.” Chara sat up and held their hands to either side of Asriel’s head. He leaned in closed to give Chara permission. They grabbed him under the muzzle and brought his head close to theirs. Deep breath. Those People were wrong. They were not a demon. They did not ruin everything they touched. They did not hurt everyone they loved. They were going to bop heads with Asriel, and he would not fall over backwards and say they hurt him and get them kicked out of the house, he would not burst in an explosion of dust and disappear, it would be fine, everything was going to be just fine, don’t give yourself a chance to think about everything that could go horribly wrong and just-_

_They closed their eyes as they lightly tapped their forehead against his. When they opened them again he had not disappeared: he was staring into their eyes from just inches away. They exhaled in relief as Asriel giggled. “Friendship headbutt,” they said._

* * *

… They really did not want to talk about this. Even thinking about Asriel made their chest hurt. But… they had made a promise to Frisk, and they wanted to respect that more than they wanted to keep silent about Ree. They had a thing about promises. “I only had one other person I would call a friend: Prince Asriel Dreemurr, the son of the king and queen. He was a Boss Monster, and very strong even for one of them. He was about my age but had already mastered fire magic at the time I met him. He had a bit of healing magic and even started learning gravity magic after I said it was cool; though Toriel and Papyrus are way better at those than he was, everyone said he had the potential to be the strongest Boss Monster since before the war. Of course, his magic isn’t what I remember him for. He was curious, and bouncy, and joyful. He showed his emotions really easily, smiling when he was happy and crying when he was the least bit upset. He was really curious, too, poking his nose everywhere and always asking questions. ‘Why do close your eyes and hold your hands together before you eat, Chara?’ or ‘What’s it like on the surface, Chara?’ and the like.”

“He sounds like fun,” Frisk admitted. “But… not someone you would get along with.”

“Perhaps.” Chara looked away. “When I describe him that way he sounds like a person I would not be able to stand. But we completed each other; he smoothed down my rough edges and I filled up his world. We hardly ever strayed far from each other once we became friends. He was better than any human I’d ever met.” Chara could feel thorns growing around their heart. “He was the only person I ever called a friend who never betrayed me.”

Well… there was that one incident. At the time they had certainly felt they had been lied to. They had spat at him, cursed him, called him a liar and a coward and a traitor and so much worse. But the situation was exactly the opposite. _They_ had betrayed _him_. By the time they realized that it was too late to take those words back. Asriel died thinking he had let down his best friend. If he were still alive he would hate them for sure. He should hate them. Chara rubbed at their eyes. When they pulled their hand away there was a black smear on their fingers. Oh no. No no no. It was happening again. They could not let Frisk see this, they had to-

Frisk’s phone rang again. They turned away from Chara as they answered it; their expression had not changed and they had not reacted. Could it be… they had not seen anything? Chara tried to bring themself under control. They could not get bogged down in self-loathing now and let Frisk see the creepy face. “Hello?” Frisk said into the phone.

“Tow-ree-el!” came Papyrus’ voice. “It’s me again. Do you remember when I asked what you were wearing?” Frisk made an affirmative noise. “Well, the friend who wanted to know… her opinion of you is very… murdery. But I bet you knew that already. That’s why I told Undyne exactly what you told me you were wearing, a cute ribbon!”

Chara’s eyes bulged and Frisk’s hand began to shake. “Papyrus, why would you do that?”

“Because you and Chara are very smart! I knew you would realize what a suspicious question that was and would change your clothes! This way, you’re safe and I didn’t lie! No betrayal anywhere! Being friends with everyone is easy! Well, bye!” The phone went silent.

Chara slapped their forehead. “I think in this situation… we’re the idiots.” Frisk could only silently, sadly nod their head in agreement.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really, really wanted to get to the second Undyne chase scene for this chapter’s conclusion, but there are a lot of setpieces I wanted to hit in Waterfall. This is already the longest chapter of the fic so far and there’s still so much more to go before I reach that part, so I’m splitting this in two. This shouldn’t effect the final chapter count; I previously thought I’d need two chapters to go through the True Lab but I probably only need one? We’ll see.  
> Originally I was saving the reveal for Frisk’s inability to read until Hotland. I ended up moving it here because I didn’t want to tapdance around it for another few chapters. It’s possible this reveal could have happened much earlier; presumably in a run where Frisk is not specifically avoiding the books and is more honest with Chara, Chara recites random information from the books they pick up.  
> Asteraceae is a large flower family comprising of sunflowers, daisies, asters, and many others. Asteraceae petals form star-like shapes and are often usable to make tea. Priphea are the title character’s favorite flower in the SNES RPG Lufia & the Fortress of Doom.


	8. Fallen Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is music.

_It had been almost two years now. Things had fallen into a comfortable routine. Asriel woke up thirty minutes to an hour before Chara did, but he would only leave the room once they were up. Asriel would wash their face as Chara brushed their teeth, then the two would come bounding into the dining room hand in hand for breakfast. The private tutor came in the late morning to teach numbers and writing and history and magic. Asriel struggled with the first three and was a natural at the fourth; Chara was nearly the opposite, needing little assistance with most classwork but being human was completely useless at magic. They eagerly devoured books on magical theory. They learned about magic fields, how it naturally extended only to a monster’s physical form but could be extended out, and how a monster could only use magic or create and use bullets within that field. They learned about bullet types and powerful magic which could affect the soul directly, and how healing was much more effective on monsters than humans. But they could not even feel a magical field, let alone expand it. They could not produce a bullet any more than they could light up their butt like a firefly. So Asriel teased Chara about their lack of magic and Chara reciprocated by smugly outperforming in almost everything else. In the afternoon they played; sometimes it was whatever cool toys were available or random junk from the laboratories, sometimes they just drew or practiced arts and crafts. Towards the evening Chara went to the garden; this is when the sun shone in most prominently and they were under doctor’s orders to get their vitamin D. If there was weeding or planting or watering to be done they helped Asgore with it; if not they brought their knitting needles. Then there was dinner, then homework before bed. Asriel always fell asleep first, Chara often needing to wind themself down and stare into the darkness listening to Asriel’s breathing for a while before they felt the slightest bit tired._

_Chara knew they were a difficult child. They were emotionally distant at the best of times, which was a poor fit for the openly warm and affectionate Dreemurrs. They filled Asriel’s head with crazy ideas which got them both in trouble. Then there was their mercurial moods when it came to physical contact. Anyone who wanted to touch them needed Chara’s permission; usually they granted it. Sometimes Asriel forgot. When it happened he would apologize and tear up, and Chara said it was okay, their hackles were raised but no harm done. But sometimes they felt a paw on their shoulder or a fuzzy weight on their back and their brain let out a great big_ **nope** _, then when they could breath normally again Asriel was in tears and there was a lingering storm in their brain and every muscle in their body ached with exhaustion. But if they were alone for too long they drifted from room to room in a daze. The world looked unreal, they felt like they were controlling themself in third-person, and the feeling of derealization would get worse and worse until they were in someone’s, anyone’s, presence again. They needed to have someone near them, but their throat closed up and their whole body went tense if anyone got too near. The constant push-me-pull-you must have been draining, but the Dreemurrs never offered a word of complaint. They were so understanding and patient. Even now Chara hardly believed they deserved all of this. It was difficult for them to believe the Dreemurrs meant it when they said they loved them, especially because it was so hard for them to say it back. Especially when their attempts to show that love went so wrong._

_The locket helped. Even now just holding it or stroking its contours with their thumb calmed them down immensely. It cleared their mind of static and gave them focus. They did not even take it off to bathe. But it did not assuage their doubts. It did not take away their guilt._

_It was the afternoon now. Chara and Asriel leaned over their pieces of paper, drawing with the crayons. “Done!” Asriel said triumphantly, holding out the sheet of paper he had been drawing on. “Look at this!”_

_Pictured was a tall boss monster with black markings on his face and an evil-looking grin in front of a psychedelic background of colors and stars. Chara raised an eyebrow. “What is it?”_

“ _It’s the Absolute God of Hyperdeath! He’s got the strongest magic and the greatest powers. He’s the protector of all monster-kind!”_

_Chara poked at it. “It looks like you with your dad’s horns and your mom’s robe.”_

_Bullseye. “I-If he’s going to be the strongest, then he’s gotta be a Boss Monster, right?!” His eyes were defiant but he licked his lips nervously. Aha, so that was how it was. Well, let him have his fun._

“ _I see,” Chara said. “So what does he do?”_

_Asriel’s face lit up, convinced he had gotten away with his deception. “He travels throughout the Underground, helping the innocent and righting wrongs! Um… his best friend is a human. Lots of bad guys want to capture the human because they could use their soul to escape the Underground. But they’re no match for the God of Hyperdeath! He will protect them no matter what!”_

_This was so transparent it was hilarious. It was so innocent and naive but earnest, so much unlike Chara. But in a way it was also charming. It was just so… Asriel-y. They should have found it stupid, or at least something to appreciate only ironically. But it was Asriel. They could never muster the full power of their cynicism against Asriel, not even in their darkest moments. He lived in a different world than the one Chara came from. They lived in that world now._

_(it hurts)_

_Something dark like a worm crept its way into their brain, burrowing down their neck and into their heart. Information from several different sources coalesced into one startling realization. There was a way to get everyone everything they wanted. A way they could bring everyone to a perfect happy ending. Chara was the only one who could do it. It was the only thing they could do. “Hey, Asriel. What if instead, the human gave their soul to the God of Hyperdeath? Then he could go to the surface and have more fun adventures there.”_

_The air became thicker, like an invisible cloud had filled the room. Neither of them said anything else for a long time. Asriel broke the silence by saying, “But… in order to get their soul, the human would have to die.”_

“ _But the human is their friend. Their sacrifice would mean the God of Hyperdeath would be able to see all the wonderful things on the surface he dreamed of his whole life. And with the power of that soul he would never have anything to fear; the human’s soul would protect him and keep him safe forever. The human would be happy to give their life for him, I think.”_

_Asriel’s lip trembled and his eyes watered. “But… he would never see them again. He would never get to hold them or play with them or anything. He… I’d miss you.”_

_Too much, too soon, too fast. He would need time to get used to the idea. They needed to be careful about this. They could not afford to scare him off the idea altogether by being too pushy about it. “I’m just talking about the human and the God of Hyperdeath,” they teased to deflect suspicion. “I’m not going anywhere, Ree.”_

“ _You’re lying,” Asriel sniffled. “You always get that weird smile when you lie. All wide and thin and glassy-eyed. What’s wrong, Chara?”_

“ _Nothing is wrong,” they said in a much too formal and sing-songy tone. “I’m just saying I wasn’t trying to imply anything else. Are you doubting me?” Asriel shook his head but he still was not smiling. “Tell me about some of his adventures. The God of Hyperdeath. What kind of things does he get up to?”_

_Asriel rubbed the corners of his drawing between his thumb and forefinger. “Are you asking just because you want to make fun of it some more?”_

_Chara put a finger to their lips and looked up, acting as though they were considering it. “Nah. It doesn’t seem like the kind of thing to make fun of, somehow. I really want to know. Come on, tell me!”_

_A little bit of the smile returned. “Well,” he said, pausing to buy himself some time. “One time, the God of Hyperdeath and his human friend were traveling through Snowdin. They had to stop by the town to get the human a thick jacket, because they would get cold so easily. So…”_

_Chara was only half-listening. What they had now was only the germ of an idea. It needed to be fed and nurtured and cared for before it could blossom. They would have to be very careful. But there was plenty of time to be careful. There was never any shortage of time._

* * *

Waterfall was dimmer than any other region of the Underground. Far away from any hole to the surface and with a minimum of reflective surfaces, very little light from outside ever reached this place. Only the luminescent water lit the way with an unearthly glow. The twinkling rocks hammered into the cavern roof to replace the stars were most visible here out of anywhere underneath Mt. Ebbot. Frisk’s shoes made tiny squelching sounds with each footfall, dense swamp grass keeping the ground from turning to mud but unable to absorb all the excess moisture.

A tingling sensation washed over Frisk in mid-step and a bright red heart appeared on their chest. “Shyren hides in the corner but somehow encounters you anyway,” Chara informed them, pointing to a floating fish hiding her face in the wall. The fish titled their head slightly to look at Frisk out of the corner of her eye, but quickly swiveled back when she saw Frisk was staring.

“Um, what’s wrong with its body? It’s not moving with her…” There seemed to be an oddly-shaped rock underneath the fish, making Shyren look like a mermaid.

Chara said, “That’s not her body, that’s her agent.” Frisk looked like they had something to say about that but wisely shut up. Shyren tooted a musical note, scratchy and uneven, sending an erratic musical note-shaped bullet in Frisk’s general direction. “Ugh, tone-deaf. You know, it’s not like she’s actually stopping you. I think you can just move past.”

Frisk whispered, “I want to do something for her. I’m sure she can be a better singer.” They waved their hands in the air, trying to get her on a tune.

Chara grinned widely as they narrated, “You begin conducting. Your resistance to electricity attacks decreased.” That earned them an evil glare from Frisk. “Sorry, gotta stay in practice somehow.” It was a good thing Shyren’s aim with her bullets was so bad because Frisk did not even see the next one coming.

“Um,” Frisk called out to Shyren. “Can you try following my lead?” They hummed a simple tune. After Frisk repeated it once so Shyren could learn it, she sang along with it. This sent a few more musical note-shaped bullets flying by, which Frisk dodged easily. “Not bad! Let’s do another.” Their next tune was a bit more complicated, but Shyren followed along perfectly. Chara had to admit she was not bad with a little help.

Chara noticed shuffling and murmurs coming closer. Monsters peered from around corners, tentatively stepped forward, and even started waving their friends to come closer. “Monsters are drawn to the music,” they warned Frisk, but Frisk ignored them and continued humming. So many at once! If they attacked now Frisk was doomed. They swallowed hard as their eyes flicked from one to another. They did not… seem hostile. In fact they were smiling, bobbing their heads in time with the melody. Someone started clapping with the beat, starting a slow wave of claps and enthusiastic cheers. And off in the corner… was that Sans? He was taking people’s money and giving them tickets made out of toilet paper.

“Suddenly, it’s a concert!” Chara was very, very glad they were invisible, or this would have been too much attention for them. They had to float off to the side, as far away from Frisk as they could manage, to convince themself no one was looking at them. The crowd paid them no mind; they were too busy whooping and hollering and throwing socks into the air. A few daring monsters actually came up to join Frisk and Shyren: Aaron was lifting a full drum set one-handed, winking and giving finger guns to the audience with his other hand; a brave Icecap held a tiny guitar, already banging their head (but slowly so its hat did not fly off); and Moldessa reverently carried a keyboard in its ears (…arms?) while a Moldbygg dragged a set of amplifiers behind it. Moldbygg plugged the trio’s instruments into the amplifiers and the whole gang started playing along. With real instruments behind them Frisk and Shyren got caught up in the excitement; Frisk gave the audience the most winning smile Chara had ever seen on them and Shyren blushed demurely.

Chara did not need to feel Frisk’s emotions: it was clear from the way their smile gleamed and how their body language opened up they were _loving_ this. They were driving the crowd into a frenzy, and in return it was giving them complete adoration. Chara had previously thought Frisk was like them, quiet and reserved. It had never occurred to them that Frisk’s reticence might be learned behavior; unable to express themself properly without ridicule, they learned to be small and silent and unobtrusive. This, right here, was the real Frisk, the way they wanted and needed to be. The way they could be in the Underground but never could before on the surface. They remembered feeling this way about the Underground, once. How much better it was than the surface. How accepting the monsters were. How easy it was to be yourself. Frisk would have been happy in the Kingdom of Monsters Chara fell into. But it was not that kind of place anymore.

Chara locked eyes with Frisk. They hated having to do this. They really did. If they just looked away and did not say anything, Frisk could stay here and be happy. Chara was about to drag them away from the first genuine joy they had experienced in the Underground. But it had to be done. Asgore still waited, and there would be no answers and no safety anywhere until they met. “You and Shyren have come so far, but it’s time. You both have your own journeys to embark on.”

They might as well have told Frisk they killed their dog, Frisk had such a sad look on their face. They turned to the audience, taking in their cheers and support. The conflict in their mind was evident in their expression and their body language, and it was not at all evident which would win. Finally they reached a decision. Their shoulders sagged and they went over to confer with Shyren. “I’m sorry,” Frisk said. “I have to get going. I only have time for one more song, so let’s make it a great one!”

Shyren nodded with a smile and pulled out a sheet of paper. Chara hurriedly floated behind Frisk’s back to look at it. “Uh oh,” they said. “It’s sheet music.” They were unsure whether whatever malady which prevented Frisk from reading words also kept them from reading music. From the suddenly pale look on their face it did. “It’s for a song called, ‘World Domination How-To’.”

Frisk brightened, a relieved and ecstatic smile blooming. “I know this one! It’s an old song, real popular on the surface!” Frisk said to Shyren, “Alright, you do Rin’s parts and I’ll do Len’s. Ready?” Shyren nodded enthusiastically. They turned to the band. “A one, a two! A one, two, three four!”

And then they were off. The music blared, and the crowd became even more intense. Shyren hid her eyes behind her kelp-like hair, which only increased her charm, and floated into position. Then, she began to sing.

 _With your red and puffy eyes which have been crying every day_  
_Face their mocking laughs with pride and I’m sure you’ll be okay_  
_If you fight with all your might as you make your way through life_  
_Then you’ll find that what you need is not a bomb or knife_  
  
_Let us promise that no matter what the future has in store_  
_We will tear off our price tags and not worry anymore_  
‘ _Cause even though these days seem rotten and decayed  
__It is still much too soon to throw them all away_

Frisk stepped forward to deliver the next lines in a smooth transition. Their singing voice was only mediocre but they brought bombast to the stage, sweeping the crowd into their infectious energy. They stepped from one side to the other, gesturing wildly and soaking up the crowd’s adoration.

 _And today, standing there by the railway_  
_Waiting here of my own accord_  
_Tomorrow’s me is surely still there, trembling  
_ _And with fear anew says welcome to a vile crude selfish and dense lord_

Frisk pulled Shyren up next to them and their voices harmonized for the refrain.

 _Even if a day should come when cars are flying in the sky_  
_Even if a day should come when robots talk like you and I_  
_Please don’t say anything trite_  
_When instead I hope that you might  
_ _Heal my broke and shattered heart please with your light_

 _Even if a missile launches and comes soaring through the air_  
_Before I could wish for happiness and freedom from despair_  
_I would have to be a kinder person  
_ _Wonder if I’m capable of such a thi~ng_

Icecap stepped forward and shredded into a guitar solo at just the point Frisk and Chara realized they had overstayed their welcome. All the noise had attracted monsters; it was only a matter of time until they got the attention of the one monster they did not want to run into. A shadow of Undyne’s massive armored form fell across the wall, telling Frisk and Chara it was now officially time to leave. “Thank you all!” Frisk said as they ran, giving their fans a final wave. “You’ve been terrific!” They blew a final kiss into the crowd and took off in a sprint, Chara struggling so hard to keep up their body was parallel to the ground.

From somewhere behind them they heard Monster Kid shout, “Hey, where you goin’? Undyne just showed up! You’re gonna miss the best part!” Its voice quickly faded away, though whether it was because they outpaced it or because it fell to the ground again they did not dare check. Not when they could hear the steady clomp of metal boots chasing after them.

Frisk and Chara were looking for another patch of grass to hide in, but their luck had run out. They ended up on a maze-like series of bridges, spears erupting from below to strike at them. How clever, Undyne was trying to stab their feet out from under them! Such an attack would not be fatal, but the pain would keep Frisk from running for long enough for Undyne to overtake them. Worse, it was nearly impossible to see the attacks coming. The one saving grace was that Undyne’s aim with this type of attack was terrible, the spears often erupting nowhere near Frisk, but all it would take is one lucky shot and…

 _It would be so incredibly amazing to have someone crafty and tenacious as a friend instead of an enemy,_ Chara thought, and not for the first time.

Chara floated up as far as they could to get a bird’s eye view of the area. They directed Frisk’s path to make sure they did not double back or end up in any dead ends, all the while keeping an eye out for those spears from below. They felt a sheen of sweat on their, no Frisk’s, skin as they barreled down the bridges as fast as they could. Undyne was in no hurry; she calmly walked after them, relying on the curving paths to keep Frisk within her magic field. Finally Frisk reached a long and straight stretch, and they poured on the speed. The heart vanished from their chest as they finally escaped Undyne’s clutches, but they would not be safe until-

Chara let out a cry of alarm and Frisk skidded to a stop. The bridge had become much less sturdy over the past few feet, and it was easy to see why. The other end of the bridge, which should have been anchored to a cliff on the opposite side, had been smashed. While support beams allowed the bridge to stay up for the moment they were clearly inadequate for the task; already it was bending under Frisk’s weight, and Undyne would be much heavier. As Chara thought this they heard Undyne approach. Her shadow fell across Frisk and they cowered, looking back to gauge whether they could jump the gap to the opposite bank; they quickly decided it was impossible. The bridge cracked and splintered with each step. There was a chance it would snap entirely if Undyne got much closer. “This is not the place for battle,” Undyne said, a spear in her hand. “I can’t let you pass, but it is dangerous to approach. I can’t take your soul if I can’t reach you.” She stomped on the bridge and a loud crack echoed in the empty cavern. Chara felt their heart drop into their stomach as they realized the bridge was breaking, there was nothing below Frisk but an empty abyss and Undyne was destroying the only thing keeping them up and safe. “Humans are supposed to be tough to kill. They would never die to a fire, or being left in the cold, or water, or even… a fall.”

She stomped once more and the wood finally gave up. Frisk fell backwards as gravity took hold of them and dragged them to the depths. Chara fell with them, and just before they fell out of reach they heard Undyne’s final words to Frisk:

“Don’t disappoint me.”

* * *

_They had not meant to fall, not at that time or in that way. It was entirely possible they would have jumped willingly if they had been allowed a few more minutes. But they had tripped, they had not been ready, and so the fall had failed to kill them. It did not even make them unconscious. All it did was make their leg explode in a fiery surge of pain. They could not stop themselves from crying out. They could not even move or think it hurt so bad. They were in a circle of moonlight on a bare surface of hard packed dirt. Nothing could be seen beyond the circle they were in, like they were on a tiny pedestal in outer space. It only just now struck them how horribly, terribly alone they were._

_They were going to die down here. That would have been fine, except how long would it take them? Hours? Days? They did not think they could stand the pain for another ten minutes, they would go mad if they had to stay here while their body finally succumbed. Or what if a wild animal found them and began eating them while they were still alive? Or what if a dam broke or the tide came in and they slowly drowned? (It did not matter they were not near any ocean, Logic always makes itself scarce when Fear enters the room.) They imagined dozens of ways they might die, each more terrible and painful than the last. No way. If they were going to die they wanted it to be clean and quick. Weren’t they owed that at least? The shadows seemed darker than they were just a moment ago. Deeper. Emptier. Hungrier. They sobbed in utter despair; whatever was waiting out there was going to take their time._

“ _H…” They breathed, trying to muster the energy and the will to call out. They were not supposed to. They were supposed to be quiet and out of the way. What if someone found them and brought them back home? But the pain was too much, they could not keep quiet a moment longer. Fear of imminent death beat out the fear of death some indeterminate time in the future. “H-Help…” they managed to whimper. “Help me. My leg’s hurt. I can’t move. Help!” But nobody-_

_A voice broke through the darkness: “I think it came from over here…” They could hear footsteps from somewhere close by, but could not tell whether they were approaching or receding. The brief flash of hope dispelled the menace from the darkness._

“ _I’m here!” the human child cried desperately. “Over here! Come quick, it hurts, please!”_

_A shape emerged from the darkness, humanoid in that it had a head, two arms, and two legs. However it was covered from head to toe in white fur, had long droopy ears, and a face which ended in a muzzle. A Halloween costume? Was it Halloween? They were not sure, now that they thought about it. Those People never celebrated any holidays around them, so they had stopped keeping track of when they were. It could be Halloween, it was not impossible. But what would a kid be doing on Mt. Ebott on Halloween night? Never mind, it hurt too much to think about that. It opened its mouth and said, “Howdy! Where does it hurt?” They nodded toward their right leg, trying and failing to suppress a wince as the creature bent down to touch it lightly. “What… is with your leg? No, what’s with your whole body? It feels really thick and solid… Hold still.” The creature put its paws gently on the human’s shin. Even that light touch sent a new ripple of agony through them, stealing their complaints away. “I’m not very good at this yet, but I should be able to do something…”_

_For a moment they felt a stinging yet cooling sensation, like someone had injected peppermint into their shin, and when it faded the pain had reduced substantially. It still did not feel all the way safe, but the pain was at a bearable level now. They looked looked at their leg in amazement. “How did you…?”_

“ _Just a little healing magic,” the other child said. Wow, now that they got a better look at it this was really impressive makeup work for a children’s Halloween costume. The thin layer of fur on the costume looked downy soft, and they could actually watch the eyes move and flicker. It was like seeing CG in real life. “I’m not very good at it, but if it helped I’m glad.” The other child looked up, way way up, craning its neck as far as it could. The child realized with a start there were not any seams on the costume. There were not any airholes in the neck or strings to hold the mask in place. The creature’s eyes and mouth moved cleanly and fluidly, perfectly connected to the muscles and tendons underneath. That was not a mask. It was not a costume! “You’ve fallen down, haven’t you,” the creature said. “All the way down from outside.” It looked at them in pure awe, eyes bursting with excitement. “Are you a human?! That’s amazing!”_

_They scrabbled back on their butt, putting distance between them and the… whatever was in front of them. Had they died? Had they actually died and woken up in hell?_

“ _No, it’s okay! I didn’t mean to frighten you, I won’t hurt you!”_

_They swallowed hard, hand groping for a rock or a stick or anything they could use as a weapon. “What are you? What do you want with me?!”_

_The creature had its paws up and splayed in front of them, carefully not moving any closer. “You don’t have to be scared, I’m not going to do anything bad. See?” They could see. Whatever this thing was, it was not making any move toward them. If they had meant harm they would have attacked on seeing them wounded, and certainly would not have healed them. Their shoulders relaxed a tiny bit. The monster cautiously, slowly, turned one hand upward and reached toward them. “Come on, take my hand. You still shouldn’t walk on that leg. I’ll take you to New Home and we’ll have a better look at it.”_

_The child shook their head vehemently. “I don’t want to go back to the village. I am_ never _going back there.”_

_The creature’s smile became strained. “No, New Home is where the castle is. Sorry if that’s confusing, my dad is really bad with names. We are going to have to go through Snowdin, but we don’t have to stop there if you don’t want to.” Snowdin? They did not remember a Snowdin anywhere near Mt. Ebott, or a castle for that matter. If they had not heard of it it could not be too bad a place. Besides, going with this creature back to their home was better than going with a human anywhere else. They accepted the creature’s hand and leaned into them as they got to their feet. Their skin crawled where they could feel his body heat, but the fur helped them pretend they were side-hugging a big stuffed animal. “We’ll go slow. I’ll support you if you need it, okay?” They took a few shaky steps forward, side-by-side with his arm around their shoulder. Chara’s own arm hung limply, but there was no pain so it was probably just exhaustion. Hopefully. “What’s your name?”_

“ _Ca-” No. They always,_ always _hated that name. After a moment’s thought they tried again, “Chara. My name is Chara.”_

“ _Chara? That’s a nice name. My name is Asriel.”_

“ _That’s… a good name too.” Chara tried to smile but it did not come out right. They grimaced as a wave of dizziness washed over them, and then it was all Chara could do to put one foot in front of the other, over and over again…_

* * *

When Frisk hit the ground they lost consciousness. Chara did not. They tried to rouse Frisk but it was useless; their voice did not reach them and their hands went through their body. They were… pretty sure Frisk was not dead. Chara doubted they would remain attached to Frisk’s body if that happened. They could not sleep themself, this was not a safe place to rest and they had to be there when Frisk woke up. Frisk would be freaked out enough on somehow surviving and being in an unfamiliar place, it would be cruel to add to their anxiety by vanishing on them. Where had they ended up, anyway? Mountains of garbage lined the edges of the hallway they were in. A piece of debris would occasionally float by, carried by the flow of water off the edge and into the abyss below. Oh, this was the dump. Chara supposed there were worse places they could have ended up.

They wish they could have gotten here some other way, though. They were reminded of another fall in another place and time. Things could have gone so differently from there. What if Asriel did not have any kind of healing magic? What if Asriel had not been such a kind person? What if… nobody came? Maybe they would have been left there and the Dreemurrs would still be happy. If none of that had happened, Asriel would be an adult by now. Would he have taken after Toriel and gone around in a formal robe all the time? Or would he be like his Dad, wearing whatever he felt like wearing (including that ugly, ugly sweater)? What would his horns look like? How tall- They cut themself off. It was useless to imagine. None of it would ever happen now.

It might have only been a few moments before Frisk began to stir, but for Chara it felt like an eternity. They put a hand to their head and rubbed their eyes. “Wh… Where…?”

“Undyne was chasing you again and the bridge fell out from under you,” Chara explained. “This patch of flowers broke your fall.”

“Again,” Frisk said, patting the flowers gently. “They saved me in the Ruins, too.” They took a moment to view their surroundings, then squeezed their nose shut. “Pee-yew! What is that smell?”

“Garbage,” explained Chara. “You fell into the dump. Trash falls from the surface and ends up here; most of the technology in the Underground comes from things humans throw away. You might want to take your shoes and socks off; there’s no way you’re getting out of here without wading and you don’t want that smell to stick.” Frisk nodded, removing their shoes and tying the laces together so they could hang them around their neck. They stuffed their socks into their pockets and hiked up the hem of their shorts. Finally they were ready. They trudged forward, making sure their feet were securely planted against the current before taking another step.

It took about ten minutes for them to walk out. They ended up in a large cavern; a pool of water was the centerpiece of this room, though a clean river ran alongside the southwestern edge. “You feel a calming tranquility,” Chara mused. “You’re filled with determination.”

Frisk retched suddenly, as though smelling themself for the first time. “Do you mind if I take a bath and wash the stink off?”

Chara balled their hands into fists and their throat closed. They looked off to the side and shook their head. “No, it would be no problem.” They bit their lower lip as they remembered they felt everything that was happening to Frisk. So if Frisk got in… “Just… don’t put your head under the water.” They tried to make it sound like a casual request, but that only made it sound even more strange. Remarkably, Frisk readily agreed and started wriggling out of their shirt. Chara heaved a sigh of relief and turned their back, letting Frisk have their modesty even if they did not seem to care about it.

Frisk soaked contentedly in the cool river water. They had the good fortune of attracting Woshua’s attention. “Wosh u legs,” it chanted to itself, spraying Frisk’s bathing spot with soapy water. Frisk had the foresight to empty their pockets beforehand, so Chara took a quick inventory of the little pile. There were the gloves Frisk bought in Snowdin, a decent-sized pile of money, the second piece of Monster Candy from the Ruins, and… that slice of ButtsPie. Was Frisk getting hungry yet? Chara hoped Frisk had not forgotten about it.

Chara could feel the water as it gently lapped around Frisk’s neckline. It made them anxious, but it was endurable. Frisk was being careful to follow Chara’s restriction, cupping water in their hands and bringing it up to wash their hair instead of just diving under. Chara offered them a few tips for how to clean themselves without diving under. Chara had problems with cleanliness back when they lived with the Dreemurrs, too. A shower would have been ideal, but New Home had nothing like that and monsters lacked the expertise to build a shower room. Chara never would have asked for it anyway; they were already being enough of an imposition without requesting entire rooms be set aside just for them. So they endured the baths, compromising by taking them less often than they probably should have.

As Frisk was drying off, Chara’s face turned to avoid seeing anything they should not, music began echoing through the cavern. “… what the HECK is that music?” Woshua asked, more to themself than anyone else. “Never mind, this beat is too… filthy.” They wandered off, leaving Frisk and Chara alone.

“Sounds like something we should investigate,” Chara said without turning. It was not bad music, not at all, but it was a little strange. Where was it coming from?… the north, maybe? Now that they thought about it, they were pretty sure the farm where Toriel got her snails from was somewhere around here. Maybe they could pick some up… no. Snails were something of an acquired taste, and they doubted they would be able to convince Frisk to try some unless they were really desperate. As soon as Frisk gave them the signal they could turn around again they were off to investigate the sound.

They ended up in front of a set of houses. Frisk knocked at the door of the left house. The volume of the music turned down. But no one came to the door, so they knocked again. The door opened slightly, and what looked like a floating white sheet peeked out. “Napstablook!” Frisk shouted, breaking out in a big smile. “So this is your house?”

The ghost stared at them for a moment. “oh, you’re the nice people from the ruins. its good to see you again. umm… come in, if you want. But no pressure… i understand if you’re busy…” Frisk shook their head and accepted the invitation, Chara following after. “Uh, do you wanna… listen to some tunes… or something…? i’m trying to be a DJ, so I have some remixes. or, do you want some food?” They opened up the fridge and pulled out a sandwich… somehow? It looked like it was just sort of floating. Frisk nodded and held out their hands to accept. The sandwich passed right through Frisk’s hands and landed on the floor with a thwip. “oh, i’m so sorry. that was ghost food, i guess you can’t eat it…”

Ghost food? Chara scooped the sandwich up; it felt solid to their fingers and the thought occurred to them they had not eaten anything since waking up in the Ruins. It was true they only felt the phantom echoes of Frisk’s hunger and none of their own, but if ghost food existed did that not imply ghosts also needed to eat? “In that case, five second rule. Thanks.” They bit into it hungrily. It was a bit dry, but not bad. With every bite they could feel a fire within them burning hotter, an internal reservoir filling up, and even their body began feeling more solid than before.

Napstablook seemed pleased the sandwich was not going to waste. ‘sorry to interrupt, but… you’re not actually a ghost, are you?’

The ghost child tried to answer with a mouth full of sandwich but had to clap a hand over their mouth to keep any crumbs from spilling. Frisk answered for them, “They are a ghost, and they’re with me. They can’t get far from me, and other than a couple people I’m the only one who can see them. They’re a human that died a while ago, that’s why they aren’t like you. We were… kinda hoping you would know more about what’s going on with us.”

A tear appeared at the corner of Napstablook’s eye. “i’m sorry. i really didn’t know. oh no…” They sniffled before summoning up their courage and said to Chara, “whatever you’re doing isn’t something a ghost like me can do. it isn’t possession because you can’t control their body. and it’s not absorption because they don’t get any of your power. you seem to be just, stuck together. like a piece of your soul got anchored onto their physical body.”

Chara stuffed the last bit of the sandwich into their mouth and talked around it, “So long story short, I _am_ haunting the human.” They swallowed before asking, “Is it possible to get us, uh, ‘unanchored’?”

Napstablook shimmied from side to side in some approximation of shaking their head. “it wouldn’t be a good idea. human souls need a physical body to house them; they’re so strong and energetic they can’t survive without one. um, if you think of your body as a can of soda and your soul as the bubbles does that help? if you were to separate now you would disappear within a few minutes. it might be different if you had more of your soul or if you could generate a magical body like i can, but as it is you might not survive long enough to attach yourself onto anything else even if you could.”

So where had Chara been before they woke up? If they needed a body for their soul to exist, that should also be true for all the time they spent dead. But something else about what Napstablook just said bothered them too. “What do you mean, ‘more’ of my soul? My soul’s my soul, right?”

Napstablook appeared to be sweating. “have you… looked at your soul?”

“I think I would need to be targeted with magic and most people can’t see me.”

Tears formed in Napstablook’s eyes. “it appeared when we fought in the Ruins; i included you in my magic field. i’ll do it again but… you might have to look very hard.” Napstablook expanded their magic field, causing Frisk’s red soul to appear. Chara looked at their own chest and there in the center where a heart should have been was a tiny red sliver no larger than a thumbnail.

“Wh-what! What happened to my soul?!”

“oh no, i knew you’d be upset. i didn’t want to say anything. oh noooooo…”

Frisk waved their hand to get their attention. “I know nothing about magic or souls so I don’t know what’s going on. Help?”

Chara took a few breaths to calm themself. “I have a fraction of the soul I’m supposed to, a really small one. I’m not much stronger than a monster. Um, no offense.”

Napstablook assured them, still weeping, “none taken.”

Frisk stared with open-mouthed fascination, reaching out before anyone could stop them. “So this little thing is your-!” As their fingers brushed against the red line on Chara’s chest they jerked backward suddenly, letting loose a tiny yip of pain.

Chara recoiled violently, crossing their arms while glaring balefully at them. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Frisk sucked on the end of their finger. “Wh-what was that?”

“That was my soul rejecting you. Humans can’t absorb human souls just like monsters can’t absorb monster souls. It was also really freakin’ rude! You don’t just touch somebody’s soul!”

They looked away, lip trembling. “I’m… I’m really sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I just… I didn’t…”

“Just… don’t ever do it again. And I mean ever, okay?”

Frisk’s lip trembled. “Y-You’re sure you’re not mad?”

“In the grand scheme of things it’s not worth holding a grudge over.” Chara scratched at the back of their head. “It does tell me one thing: I was right to tell you not to let anyone else know about me. If my soul rejected your touch it means there’s nothing protecting it. If a monster knows I’m here they could absorb it and I couldn’t do anything about it.” They were not entirely sure what the point of that would be given how incredibly weak their soul was, but it was still a possibility.

Napstablook differed: “i don’t think so. your connection with the human will protect you from monsters who want to take your soul, i think. I would be more concerned about how you feel. There might be something missing, some memories or personality traits or feelings you used to have but don’t anymore. like… a monster in your situation might not have kindness or compassion… because that’s what monster souls are made of.”

Chara scoffed. “Well, I don’t think anybody knows what human souls are made of, but I can’t think of anything I’m-”

They had been concerned for Toriel. They recognized her and knew she was a good person. But now that they thought about it… they had also felt a lacking, a strange emptiness. They had assumed at the time it was just shame at what they had done to the Dreemurr family, but now that they were looking for it they did not remember that warm, fuzzy, safe feeling they had always gotten from her. In their memories they had felt… something missing with Toriel, or Asgore, and especially with Asriel. Some indefinable happiness they could no longer put into words. It made their chest ache to think about it, and no matter how they tried they could not conjure up what it actually felt like. And there were certain memories they simply could not think of anymore. It hurt to even try to conjure them up. They all had one thing in common: they were the memories when they most strongly… felt…

Chara put their hand to their chest, feeling the color leave their face. “I… I can’t feel love.” Chara grabbed a handful of their sweater over where their heart used to be. ‘I’ll accept any punishment,’ they had once prayed. ‘I will endure any torture. I will put up with anything. Just please, save Asriel.’ But the promise had gone unfulfilled. Asriel had died; there was no doubt about that, Chara had felt them die. So for them to be put through this torture without any possibility of a reward…

“Heh. Heheheh… ahahahaha!” A cackle, dry as dust, ripped out of their throat. One hand went to their head and the other shot out to brace against a wall for balance, but they were still incorporeal so they just collapsed to the floor. They laid on their back, covering their eyes with their forearm, and all the while they continued to laugh and laugh.

But it wasn’t funny.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know if people were looking forward to a statue scene or not, but the way I ended the concert scene flowed naturally into the second chase and didn’t leave room for it. Not to mention I have two Chara & Asriel scenes in this chapter already and I wasn’t really enthusiastic about adding a third. (edit: I also skipped the Mad Dummy fight because I have nothing interesting to add to the fight as presented in the game. You all know how the fight goes, and I don't want to waste anyone's time on a fight which isn't important to the plot. I'll throw something together if there's a lot of demand for it, but otherwise this chapter's a little long for my liking anyway.)  
> My backlog is completely gone; this chapter has gone unbeta-ed because I finished writing it only about ten minutes before posting it. So if it feels rough or there are stupid mistakes, that’s why. Please let me know of any errors or out-of-character bits or places that need work in a comment or review and I’ll fix it as soon as I can. I’m not happy about putting out rushed work, so there will be no update next Monday while I try to get a chapter or two ahead again. I apologize, and I assure all of you this will not become a habit. See you again on the 19th!  
> World Domination How-To: This is a Vocaloid song that got crazy popular a few years ago. A couple YouTube videos played around with using this song as a potential opening theme for Undertale if it were an anime, so I decided to use it here. The original was written by Neru and included on their debut album Sekai Seifuku. As one might guess it was originally written in Japanese. I don’t speak much Japanese, so I read through a bunch of different translations to get a general idea of what the words are saying then wrote my own take on it to try and make everything rhyme while still matching the syllable count even if the meter gets awkward in places. I hope it worked out, rewriting is hard yo!


	9. Heroes and Legends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a fight is picked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand we're back! I didn't get as caught up as I would have liked, but I'll try not to have to take a break again.  
> I have a different interpretation of the red soul color than is typically used by the fandom. I’ll explain my reasons in the Author’s Note at the bottom, just letting you know now so nobody freaks out about it.  
> Warning: This chapter contains clinical depression.

“ _ **BUTTS**!”_

“ _ **BUTTS!** … BUTTS!… Butts.… butts.” The echo flowers repeated it back to themselves over and over, and soon enough the entire cavern rippled with the mild curse word. Asriel looked over at Chara for their approval, but they just shrugged. _

_Normally they would have found that hilarious. Chara considered themself to have a very broad sense of humor: they appreciated bad puns, esoteric wordplay, and potty humor with equal abandon. But not right now. The prank seemed childish and infantile to them now. Everything felt gray and drab and subtly wrong. The Underground did not feel real to them anymore. It was some mystical fairy-tale kingdom which existed especially for good kids. So, for someone else, because Chara was not a good kid. Chara just got lucky and fell into some other child’s wonderland, and sometime soon the universe would correct its mistake. They kept expecting to wake up from this dream and end up back at the bottom of that hole, wounded and thirsty and starving. Or perhaps find they had never escaped at all and were still in that house with Those People. Until then this was all borrowed kindness and fraudulent happiness. They could not expect to get away with enjoying things which were not rightfully theirs. It was not fair and had never been fair, but that was just the way the world was sometimes. The more they enjoyed their time here, the harder it would be to accept it was not and never had been theirs. So it was better to separate themself now. Better to give it up willingly rather than let it be taken from them._

_They recovered from their fugue to notice Asriel was not beside them anymore. When they turned around Asriel was leaning in close to an Echo Flower, cupping his hands around its petals and whispering something. He finished and sauntered back to Chara, a smug grin on his face and his hands behind his back. He looked like he just got away with stealing from the cookie jar._

“ _Now what?” Chara asked nastily._

“ _No~thing,” he said, his smile becoming cryptic. He managed to keep his secret for a whole ten seconds before explaining, “That flower is special. It’s placed in such a way and is in such a spot that anything it hears gets repeated throughout the cavern no matter how quietly it’s said. So I told it… well, you’ll see in a second.”_

_A bustle started at the other end of the cave and rushed toward them. In moments they were both surrounded by a rolling cacophony:_

“ _Everybody loves you, Chara!” “Everybody love-” “-verybody loves you-” “Every-” “-loves you, Chara!”_

“ _Oh my gaaaaaawd,” Chara rolled their eyes dismissively, covering their face with one hand. “That is so cheesy. That had better fade away, I’ll never be able to leave the house again if everybody hears this.”_

_Asriel’s face fell and tears started to form in his eyes. His whole body sank, dejected. They had failed. It was not his fault, Chara knew, but at that moment they could not explain. When Chara got in one of these moods very little helped. Their mind turned what should have been reassurances into daggers pointing inward. Instead of being able to accept these tender feelings at face value, they wondered how these people could be so stupid, caring so much for an ungrateful child that would never and could never return their affection. It was impossible for them to believe in those words. The blackness ate happiness, devoured hope. But it could not devour future hope. Someday they would not feel this way. They would think back on this later and be able to appreciate the warmth and care and (it hurts) which fueled Asriel’s gesture. The void was not infinite. There was an end to it. And someone would be waiting for them on the other side with open arms. It did not fill them, but a tiny bit of determination snuck its way into Chara’s withered heart. It would do._

_Sometime later they laughed about it. But they never did thank Asriel for the gesture, or apologize for mocking it._

* * *

Chara decided to take a moment to think about it logically. Their soul was so damaged there should be other effects than just an inability to feel love. Other things might be missing as well. They started with what monster souls were made of. They could still feel compassion, of a sort. They were never good at that to begin with, but they were not any worse now. They did not want Frisk to get hurt, so they must still be capable of mercy. No additional problems there, moving on to human emotions. They could still feel happiness or at least remember what it was like, sadness was most definitely possible, and fear as well seemed to be unaffected. Hope was an open question, since they did not have much room for hope even before they died and had even less now. Guilt and shame, oh you had better believe they were still around. Anger and disgust were… present, but muted. They did not think themself capable of holding a grudge the way they once did. Before, they definitely would not have forgiven Frisk so easily for touching their soul. They still did not like humanity in general and a few people in particular, but the feeling was much weaker than they remembered. If this had been the depths of their feelings back then, if their hatred had gone this far and no farther, they would not have…

“You better?”

Chara opened their eyes. They were lying on the floor of Napstablook’s house, staring up at the ceiling. They could sense Frisk next to them, lying down perpendicular to Chara. Napstablook was nowhere in sight; they vaguely remembered the ghost saying something about work and that they could stay, but Chara had not been in a good frame of mind to remember the precise words. “Amazingly, yes,” they responded. They were feeling better, and it really was amazing. There was an airy buzzing in their head, a faint euphoria that dulled their senses and emotions. “I could get used to feeling like garbage.”

“It’s prob’ly time we got up,” Frisk said. There was an awkward pause before they added, “If you’re ready.”

“I’ll be okay, Frisk. Somehow.” An honest self-inventory would be that Chara never had been okay and never would be. They could hold together for long enough to see Frisk to the barrier and make sure they would be safe at least. After that…

They braced themself against the floor and pushed themself up to a sitting position, idly wondering why their body sometimes seemed like it could interact with the world around them even though they could not actually touch it. It was probably subconscious; when they were not paying specific attention their body would act like walls and floors were solid because it expected walls and floor to be solid. Or something like that? They floated into the air, stretching their arms.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Frisk asked.

“Hell no,” came the swift reply. And that was that as far as Chara was concerned. Frisk seemed less sure but had no choice but to accept Chara’s word on it. Napstablook left the key for their house under their doormat so Frisk and Chara could lock up. It was a ghost key, of course, so Chara had to do the honors.

* * *

Just down the corridor Frisk poked their head through a doorway and was met with raucous laughter. “Wa-ha-ha! Woah there, stranger! I’ve got some neat junk for sale!” An ancient-looking turtle monster greeted them in the crystal-studded cavern. He was sitting on the head of a stone hammer larger than he was, his wares laid out on a blanket in front of him. Juice boxes, apples in the shape of crabs, some books and old reading glasses… nothing they really needed, but the items were not the most valuable find.

“This is Gerson,” Chara said, not bothering to hide the reverence in their voice. “He’s possibly the oldest monster in the entire Underground. He fought in the war against humans, the same war that’s on all these plaques, but now he’s a historian. You know, on account of having lived through it all.” Waves of doubt radiated off Frisk. “Ask him yourself. He’ll tell you all about it.”

Concerned this might be a trap intended to humiliate them, Frisk hesitated. “Are… are you Mr. Gerson? Is it true you memember the surface?”

“Wa-ha-ha!” he bellowed. “Yes it is! I remember the sun, and the ocean, and even humans like you, youngster! Now, don’t be scared, I’m not interested in that barrier nonsense. Let bygones be bygones, that’s what I say.”

“But how is that?” Frisk asked. “Humans live maybe a hunnerd years. Monsters must have been down here for…”

“Over a thousand,” Gerson confirmed. “Yep, that’s true too! You’re probably confused about how long monsters live for.” This got even Chara’s interest; they had wondered about this but had never quite known how to ask. “Well, sit right down and I’ll tell ya! Our children grow up to be adults with nothing but time, same as you humans. It takes about as long, twenty years or so. But once monsters get that old the rules change. You know that monster souls are made of love, compassion, and mercy, right?” Frisk had not known that but they nodded anyway. “Well, the opposites of those are hatred, cruelty, and savagery. They’re poisonous to monsters. If a human struck us with emotions like that we’d be done for. But it’s not good for us if we feel that stuff, either. It worms its way inside, makes us weak and feeble. It ages us, and that’s how we grow old. Now me! I’ve gotten stuff like that out of my system. I know what hate feels like, but I don’t let it bother me none. I never hurt nobody for no reason, and never more’n they deserved. I ain’t perfect, none of us is, but with clean living, a healthy outlook, and an unwavering heart there’s no reason any monster couldn’t be as old as me! Wah-hah-hah!” He adjusted his hat. “Well, except Boss Monsters. They live forever, so long as they don’t have kids. They can be as mean an’ nasty as they like and it won’t affect them any. That’s part of the reason they’re so strong; other monsters, there’s a limit to how much they can fight. Striking at an enemy, trying to kill ‘em, it literally takes years off our lives! But Boss Monsters can put all their power into every swing and bullet. Heh! But you know, in the end even that wasn’t enough.”

Frisk nodded. “You mean the war.”

He nodded. “Yessiree. Humans’re just plain stronger than monsters, that’s a fact. These halls tell the story: we never stood a chance. A long time ago me and the King talked it out. We agreed there was no point in trying to break down the barrier, because the war would just start up again. I feel a little betrayed that he changed his mind… but! Maybe it’ll all work out anyway. See this crest here on the wall?” He pointed to a strange glyph made of a circle with wings and several triangles underneath it. His voice became low and conspiratorial, and he leaned in closer as if afraid of being overheard. “This is something of a religious symbol down here. It predates written history, possibly been around longer than we’ve been underground. Nowadays, it stands for the angel of the prophecy. ‘The angel who has seen the surface will return, and the underground will go empty.’ I don’t put much stock in it, but lots of people believe it. It’s the only thing keeping ‘em going. So who knows?” He slapped his knee and straightened up. “Sorry fer talkin’ yer ear off, kid. Anythin’ else you wanna know?”

Frisk nodded. “Do you know about soul colors? What does red mean?” Chara winced. They knew they could not have kept it secret forever, but the timing of Frisk finding out about it now was inconvenient.

“Soul colors? Wa-ha-ha! Yer talkin’ about the seven human virtues! I figured only ol’ farts like me were interested in that kinda stuff nowadays. Where’d you hear about ‘em? Eh, never mind. I can probably guess. I always was good at noticing patterns.” He took a sip of his tea to collect his thoughts and gave Frisk a patient smile. “Red means ‘love’.”

Frisk tilted their head. “Love?”

“That’s right. Ya see, kindness only goes so far. It’s how you act around people you don’t know, how you treat people when you can’t expect anything from them in return. Some folks have a friendly word for everyone, and others don’t trust strangers further than they can throw ‘em. But when you’ve been with someone a while, you’ve seen all their flaws and really know what makes ‘em tick, kindness doesn’t have anything to do with it anymore. It turns into something else. Don’t you want to keep those close friends near you, no matter what? Doesn’t their smile make you happy, and their tears make you cry? Wouldn’t you do anything for them? That’s love. It’s… well, it’s how close you _can_ get to other people. How much you can trust, how much you can devote yourself to them. Red souls love deeply and trust fully. They’ll do anything to protect those close to them. It’s the strongest of the virtues, because when the people you love are in trouble it can change the world. But it’s also the weakest of the virtues and the most dangerous. If you love the wrong person, or the right person in the wrong way… well, it’s not good for nobody. Izzat what you wanted to know?” Frisk nodded with a pensive look. “Well, if you appreciated the story, at least buy some tea fer the road. It’ll put some pep in your step, I guarantee! Wah-hah-hah!”

Frisk obeyed and traded some of their money for what looked like a juice box of Sea Tea. They stuffed it in their pocket without enthusiasm and walked out, waving a lazy goodbye over their shoulder. As soon as they turned the corner they looked up at Chara sadly, silently urging them to talk if they needed to but afraid to ask.

Chara merely returned the stare. “You see?” they snorted, trying and mostly failing to keep the bitterness out of their voice. “Told you it was stupid.”

“Hey, wait!” Gerson hobbled to the entrance of his shop, calling out after them. “Almost fergot something, youngster! Real quick, that person who toldja about the soul colors but fergot about red. Do you think yer gonna see ‘em again?”

If Frisk’s eyelids were not perpetually closed they would have given away the game with a flicker of movement, Chara knew. Instead they said, “I might.”

“Good, good! I got a message for ‘em! It’s pretty long and, uh, you might not understand a word of it. But somehow I think you’ll be okay even if you don’t remember all of it. You ready?” Frisk hesitantly nodded. “Alright, here it is.” Gerson suddenly narrowed their eyes and their voice became very serious. “This is our last chance, you know. You don’t have enough of your soul for another try. I already know you can’t do it on yer own, you’ve failed six times now trying it your way. So stuff yer damn pride and let ‘em help ya already.” His knowing smile returned. “Didja get all that? Don’t worry if you didn’t, I’m sure they’ll get the message anyway. I can talk more about it if they want, but… I get the feeling they won’t want to.”

He knew. He could not see Chara but he _knew_. Chara felt a chill come over them. They felt horribly naked and vulnerable. “Let’s get out of here, Frisk,” they said quickly. “The old man’s talking nonsense.” Frisk seemed like they wanted to say something, but waved to Gerson and continued on their way.

“Heh,” Gerson said, shaking their head. “What’d I tell ya…”

* * *

Would that Frisk could have left it at that. They did not say anything, not with words. They just kept turning in Chara’s direction like they were looking at a hurt puppy. All because Chara could not feel love when it was supposed to be their primary trait, their most basic, innate virtue. All because Gerson could not keep their damn mouth shut and had to make cryptic comments instead.

It did not bother them. Really. Love had never gotten them anything. On the surface their every attempt to connect and trust was used to hurt them. And down here they did the same thing to the Dreemurrs that the humans did to them. ‘Love the right person in the wrong way’… ha. That must have been a jab at them. So looking at things objectively they were better off without love. They could not be hurt, and they could not hurt others. An ideal situation. So what if they were missing their primary trait? They did not feel like an emotional cripple. They still had those memories of Asriel and they could still remember him with fondness. Even if it was not quite the same as before, it was good enough. Besides, what right did they have to complain? They could not say they did not deserve this. It would be nothing short of arrogance to try and feel sorry for themself now.

Gerson was another problem entirely. Nothing he had said made any sense, or at least nothing that would make sense for him to say. He had said it was their “last chance”, which was certainly true, but how did he know Chara had returned to some semblance of life? And what had he been saying about failing six times? True, the plan failed, but… that had only been one failure, and Gerson couldn’t know about that anyway. That could not be what he was referring to. What, then?

The passageway became darker than ever; Frisk held their hands out in front of them and could not see their own fingertips clearly. “Can you see anything?” they asked hopefully.

“Nope,” Chara replied, happy for the chance to push their internal turmoil aside. “Eyes work by detecting light as it reflects off surfaces and enters the pupil. I’m not sure how my eyes work now, but I don’t think I can see anything you can’t. It’s all just dark.”

Frisk’s shoes were hung around their neck again with the socks stuffed inside, as the path had some time ago sunk below the surface of the water and they did not want to walk around in wet shoes any more than the last time they had to wade through the river. At least now that they were upstream from the dump the river smelled like seaweed instead of garbage. Frisk’s hands found a wall, and they patted it a few times to see if it was real. Realizing they could not go forward they began feeling their way along the wall to the right to look for an opening. What they found instead was an echo flower. They were about to say something silly into it to break the mood when the flower whispered menacingly, “Behind you.”

At that moment the lamps on the hallway flickered and lit, casting a long shadow of an armored soldier across the wall next to them. Frisk whirled and plastered themself to the wall. Undyne had them cornered. There was no escape this time. The warrior walked toward Frisk with slow, measured paces. “Seven,” she intoned. “With the power of seven human souls, our king, Asgore Dreemurr, will become a god. He will take back the surface from humanity. All the wrongs and injustices committed against us will be repaid. Do you understand, human? This is your only chance at redemption for the crimes of your race. Give up your soul, or I will tear it from your body.”

Wow, a woman after their own heart. This was probably the surest sign Chara really had lost the ability to love; if they had not they would be swooning right now. Or maybe not; the fear emanating from Frisk might have overpowered any other feelings. Frisk was pushing their back against the wall as if hoping they could escape by falling through it. They were shivering uncontrollably, whimpering with every step Undyne took.

Undyne was within arm’s reach now. Frisk’s soul appeared on their chest and Undyne pointed directly at it with her spear. Suddenly a shape burst out from the nearby grass and interposed itself between them; a tiny monster in a yellow and brown striped shirt. A white upside-down heart appeared on its chest as it rushed into the path of Undyne’s magic field. “Undyne!” Monster Kid shouted. “I’ll help you fight!” It looked from Undyne to Frisk and back again, its enthusiasm slowly draining away to be replaced with confusion. “Wait…” it said. “Who’s she fighting?” Even with the helmet hiding most of her face Chara could tell by the way her visible eye gleamed and her tongue clicked audibly that Undyne was furious. Both Frisk and MK’s souls disappeared as Undyne put away her spear. She grabbed MK by the cheek and dragged it away. “Hey, wait!” it pleaded. “You’re not gonna tell my parents about this, are you?”

Frisk shivered as they watched them go. They slid down the wall, falling into a stoop, then wrapped their arms around their legs and buried their face in their knees. Their shoulders trembled with tiny sobs. “I’m sorry,” they blubbered. “I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t be… so scared…”

“Of course you should be,” Chara said. “She was going to kill you. It’s only natural to be scared of dying.”

“But that’s just it! I-” Frisk cut themself off. They bit their lip and shook their head. “No, never mind. It’s nothing.” They peeled themself off the wall, wiping their eyes and looking back the way they came. “I think there’s a path we couldn’t see before,” they said in an obvious attempt to change the subject. “Let’s go that way.” Chara was eager to not open the door to talking about feelings, so they let Frisk get away with their artless distraction.

The path led to a wooden bridge over a massive chasm. The cave itself had helpfully contributed to building the bridge, with several large stalagmites and bluffs serving as natural support beams. Chara and Frisk heard the rapid-fire clicking of clawed feet running up from behind them and turned to see the Monster Kid hurrying to catch up. “You got away from Undyne!” Frisk said. “I hope she didn’t yell at you too much.”

“Yeah,” it said without enthusiasm. It stared at the ground, kicking at a pebble. “Hey, um… listen. Undyne told me I should… uh, stay away from the human. She says you’re dangerous. Wh-what I’m trying to ask is… are you a human?”

Frisk nodded sadly. “I didn’t mean to hide it. I just… never got a chance to say.”

“Oh,” the kid swallowed, still not looking directly at Frisk. “So… I guess that means we’re enemies, huh?”

Frisk shook their head. “We don’t have to be.”

“Yeah. I kinda stink at being an enemy. Hey, say something mean so I can hate you.”

Hm, Frisk would be no good at this sort of thing. Chara ‘helpfully’ whispered, “You call it a bobble-head on a permanent sugar high.”

Frisk, deeply offended, instead said to MK, “But I don’t want to be emenies! Just because humans couldn’t get along with monsters before is no reason for _us_ to hate each other!”

“What, so I gotta do it?” The monster kid straightened up. “Yo. I… I hate your guts!” Frisk took a step backward, hurt evident on their face. “Oh man,” the kid said, eyes watery. “I’m such a turd. I… I’m gonna go home now.” It turned and ran back across the bridge, but before it got four steps its toe got caught between the planks and it fell facefirst. That would have been fine… except it caused the bridge to sway, and while off-balance the kid rolled straight off the edge. Frisk screamed, only stopping when they noticed MKs shirt had snagged onto a jagged outcropping in the natural rock support structure. “Help!” it cried. “I tripped!”

Frisk stood up and was about to rush over when they noticed a shadow falling over the bridge. Undyne had caught up to them once more. She stood placidly, her head turning from MK to Frisk and back again as if daring them to make a move.

Chara wanted to tell Frisk to save MK. Yes, they were a little irritating and they definitely should not have been here, but they were still a child. A _monster_ child. A fall from this height would hurt them badly. Save the kid. But that would be putting Frisk’s life in danger. If they doubled back and pulled the kid up, they would be completely defenseless against Undyne if she attacked. They would die and there would be nothing Chara could do about it. Even though Undyne would not attack Frisk while they were saving a monster… would she? Save the kid. It seemed ludicrous to consider. But… Undyne’s previous attacks had hardly been sporting. Would she give up the chance to finish off the human and get their soul for the sake of a single monster? Chara hoped the answer was yes, but could not deny that might have been their heroine worship talking. They did not want to stake Frisk’s life on that. Save the kid! _But which one?_

“H-Hey!” MK scrabbled at the rocks with his feet to try and find purchase, but all his flailing accomplished was ripping their shirt even more. “I’m slipping!”

The shout freed Frisk from their paralysis. They ran over to where MK was and got down on their stomach, leaning over the edge. One hand grabbed its shirt while the other shot out right in front of its face. “Bite my hand!” Frisk shouted. “Do it and hold on tight!” MK looked uncertain but obeyed, its teeth closing just past Frisk’s knuckles. They grimaced from the pain, but now Frisk could use the strength in both their arms to lift MK up without further damaging its shirt. With one mighty heave and a cry of effort Frisk pulled MK up and deposited it next to them, gasping and panting.

They had only taken a few gulps of air before Undyne’s shadow fell over them. She formed a spear in her hands and held it over her head, point down. Chara held their breath, watching them closely. This was it. Frisk was absolutely about to die. MK ran out in front, shielding Frisk with its body. “Y… yo dude. If you wanna hurt my friend… you have to get through me, first!” Undyne hesitated. She opened her hand and let the spear dissipate, stepping backward slowly until she faded into the darkness.

Frisk got on their knees, a thin sheen of sweat on their forehead and a smile on their face. “That was… thank you. You saved my life.”

“You saved mine first,” MK said with a giggle. “Oh man, I can’t believe I stood up to Undyne. But she was about to kill you! Maybe she isn’t as cool as I thought. She’s… kinda mean, isn’t she?”

Frisk turned toward Chara slightly, but returned their attention to MK. “A little bit, maybe.” They shared a laugh as Chara nervously stroked their locket.

“Oh… and sorry about biting. It looks like it must have hurt.” It spit off to the side to try to get the taste out of its mouth.

Frisk looked down at the back of their hand. MK’s teeth had broken the skin and left an angry curve. Blood seeped out slowly along the wound. Frisk shook their head. “I’ll be okay. I’ve got some candy left.”

“Or…” Chara suggested. “You could have some of Toriel’s pie. Did you think I’d forget about it?” Frisk ignored them.

MK laughed. “I guess being enemies was just a nice thought, huh? Ha ha, we’ll just have to be friends instead!”

“That’s what I’ve been saying!” Frisk laughed back. “Be careful on your way back.”

“Yeah, I should _really_ go home. My parents are probably worried sick about me.” It turned its body away but looked back over its shoulder. “Later dude!”

“I’m not a dude!” Frisk called back. “I’m neither-”

“I call everyone ‘dude’, dude!” MK shouted happily as it disappeared across the bridge.

Frisk waved goodbye and fished through their pockets for the aforementioned candy. As they searched they said, “That was scary. You didn’t say anything, so I didn’t know what to do…”

“I thought she’d attack you if you went to save it. I was really conflicted! But I’m glad you didn’t die.” Frisk gave them a weak smile and popped the candy into their mouth-!

Chara screamed, collapsing to the ground with their eyes squeezed shut. An indescribably vile taste exploded, like there was a party in their mouth and the cops just kicked in the door. They slapped a hand over their mouth and retched.

Frisk ran over in a panic. “Chara! What’s wrong?!”

Chara shook their head and barely managed to squeeze out, “… Tastes like licorice.”

Frisk let the concern fall away from their face. “Oh, is that all?” Frisk crunched down on the candy and re-examined their hand. The wounds had clotted up and faded to a shallow pink line.

That barbarian, did they understand nothing? Licorice was not just a cruel trick on candy-loving children everywhere, it was the surest possible sign there was no loving god looking down on this world. How could they stand having that taste in their mouth? And how did they resist spitting it out?! “Can you rinse your mouth out with some water soon?” Chara complained, their tongue hanging out. “The taste is lingering and it’s disgusting. I don’t want to find out if I can puke up Napstablook’s sandwich…”

“Stop being gross,” Frisk said. “How much further is it to Hotland?”

“Not far,” Chara said, still covering their mouth. “At the end of this bridge is a cave; just go through and you’re there. Then just take the elevator and you’ll be at New Home. We’re almost there.”

* * *

The cave indeed was not far. The passageway to Hotland belched out steam and the faint smell of sulfur. Frisk approached it carefully, expecting another ambush. Suddenly, something on top of the cave moved. Frisk and Chara looked up, already knowing what they would see. “Seven,” Undyne called down. “That is how many souls we need. Six. That is how many we have now. You are all that stands in the way of our ultimate goal, our ultimate victory. No more running. No more escapes. It is time for our final showdown. But before that… those who make it this far are told the tragic tale of our people, so you may understand our plight. It all started, long ago…” Undyne paused a bit too long for it to be for dramatic effect. “No, you know what? _Screw it!_ That story won’t do you any good, because you’re about to die! NGAAAAAAH!” Undyne tore off their helmet with a scream and hurled it down. Undyne’s face was… fishy. She was a fish, complete with gills and fins on both sides of her face. Her left eye was covered with an eyepatch, and her right eye was yellow and slitted like a lizard’s. She bared twin rows of razor sharp teeth, reminding Chara of piranha.

“YOU!” she pointed at Frisk emphatically. “You are the enemy of all our hopes and dreams! It would be bad enough if you were just a human, but… Alphys’ history movies made humans seem cool, but you’re just a wimp! You hid behind a child to save your own hide and run away instead of fighting! We monsters are struggling to overcome a cruel fate and right the wrongs committed against our people… what are you fighting for that could possibly compare to our noble purpose?!”

“I want the same thing you do!” Frisk cried out. “I want to break the barrier!”

Undyne looked down at them coldly. “Is that so? Well, I have good news for you. If that’s what you want, all you have to do is be dead. If I kill you and take your soul to Asgore he’ll be able to do it. So how about it? Are you ready to give up your soul for the greater good?” She paused and studied the defiant expression on Frisk’s face. “As I thought. It doesn’t matter whether you think you have a better way or whether you’re just saying whatever you think will save your life. Either way it won’t work!” Undyne clenched her fist and held it up. “I can hear the hopes and dreams of every monster in the Underground. Their voices rise to a fever pitch. They cry out for freedom! For justice! When all our hearts unite as one, we can’t lose! So take as long as you want to make your peace. When you step forward…” She drew a finger across her neck for emphasis. “You die!”

Chara looked up at Undyne, hands balled up into fists and held in front of their face. Their eyes shone with clear admiration. “The wind is howling. You are filled with determination.” They could not resist letting out a girlish squeal. “A heroic speech from a high vantage point with a dramatic gust of wind! Aaaaaah, she is _sooooo_ cool!”

They almost did not notice Frisk shift. In the blink of an eye they went from terrified to… weary? Their entire face sagged, their jaw hung open like their chin weighed as much as a bowling ball. They stepped forward with heavy steps, fists clenching and unclenching. They did not even look up at Undyne as she hurled down a spear, expanding her field to target Frisk. The spear landed right in Frisk’s path, and as it buried itself in the ground Frisk’s soul turned from a bright red to a verdant green.

Chara said, “Watch out, she’s made your soul green. You won’t be able to move very far from that spot. Maybe you could-”

Without saying a word or slowing their stride Frisk grabbed the spear from the ground in front of them and held it at the ready, facing Undyne. Did Frisk already have some idea of what to do, even without their help? This seemed to be the case: Undyne shot a few spear bullets at them and Frisk effortlessly deflected the attacks with a flick of their spear. If they had not known any better they would say Frisk had been doing this all their life. “Not bad!” Undyne taunted, leaping down from her perch to block the cave entrance. “Then how about this!” More spear bullets came, this time being aimed from multiple angles. Frisk moved with almost inhuman grace, smacking away each bullet. At times they seemed to move to intercept a bullet which had appeared outside their field of vision, and in one case they moved even before the bullet had appeared. Chara stared in disbelief; they had suspected from their dodging abilities that Frisk was physically adept, but the way Frisk moved now was almost like a god. But it could not last forever. Frisk was good, but they would get tired eventually. Undyne was not like Papyrus or even the other monsters; she was the heroine that never gave up. Sooner or later Frisk would trip up, or Undyne would get lucky… and then she would kill them and take their soul.

A wicked thought occurred to Chara just then. If the monsters really did have six human souls already, then the fastest way to destroy the barrier was to not defend Frisk. Frisk only had to die and the monsters would have seven souls. And they would be free. Chara had promised Frisk they would look out for them and help them. To let them die would break that promise. But Frisk promised to get rid of the barrier, and the chance to do that was right in front of them. If they did not take it, wouldn’t it be Frisk breaking their promise? It would not be like Chara was killing them. They just had to… not help, and let nature take its course. It was very doubtful that Frisk would be able to defeat Undyne, and no chance she would let them escape. There was no other predictable outcome. Frisk would die no matter what Chara did. So what was so wrong about it?

They should be happy, right? Monsters were going to be free.

Undyne slipped a different bullet into their normal barrage. It was subtle, but it seemed like it was flying backwards. How silly, why would Undyne make a mistake like… no! If a bullet changed in size, shape, or direction there was always a reason for it. It was not a mistake, it was a killer blow!

“Frisk, it’s a trick!” Chara called out. “That one’s going to fly past and come back from behind!”

Frisk whirled around, putting their back to the approaching spear. As predicted its path curved at the last moment, flying past Frisk before pulling a u-turn to aim straight at their soul. Frisk blocked it with the haft of their spear; with that the spear had finally taken too much and blasted apart. Frisk’s soul returned to its normal red color.

“Your soul is red again!” Chara shouted. “Now, while you have the chance! You have to run, get away from her!”

Frisk’s jaw dropped as if suddenly realizing something, then they gritted their teeth. Instead of fleeing Frisk ran straight at Undyne, and at the last moment before her spear pierced their chest they went into a baseball slide between her legs. They picked themselves up and broke into a full-on sprint into the cave. Chara was so taken off-guard they forgot to move until an invisible wall pushed into them. They floated as fast as they could past Undyne to catch up with Frisk.

“Why you little-! Get back here and take your punishment!” Undyne’s booming voice and a cacophony of metal clanks came from behind as Undyne chased after them. Chara thought Undyne would catch up almost immediately, but it seemed her heavy armor canceled out her longer strides. Frisk and Undyne were nearly the same speed. But could they keep it up all the way through Hotland? Would Frisk be able to escape by the elevators?

They were passing an electronic marquee welcoming them to Hotland when a ringing sound came from Frisk’s shorts. Their pace slowed slightly as they fished for their phone. “What are you doing?!” Chara said. “You can’t answer your phone now! She’s right behind you! She-!”

“HEY!” Undyne called out. “We’ll take a break, you’re gonna trip if you try to talk on the phone while running!” And… she really did stop, her breath a little heavy. “Just make it quick.”

Frisk nodded and stopped running, pulling out their phone. Weren’t they being a little too trusting? “Hello?”

Papyrus’ exuberant voice nearly blew out their eardrums. “Human! I was just thinking you and Undyne would make great friends!” Frisk cast a dubious glance behind them but said nothing. “I’ve got a foolproof plan to make it happen! Let’s meet up in front of her house later, okay? Bye!”

Frisk put their phone away. They turned to Undyne. “Okay, I’m done with my call.”

“Good!” Undyne started running a fraction of a second before Frisk, but all it did was allow her to catch up to the brief moment between when she stopped running and Frisk did. She was still out of range to turn their soul green again. Her aggression was left without an outlet, and she formed a spear and swiped furiously at the air in sheer unbridled rage.

They exited the mouth of the cave and the heat was almost like a physical wall. Sweat broke out on Frisk’s skin immediately, but they did not allow it to affect their stride. There was no time to examine the scenery, but a familiar looking sentry station was set up alongside the road with an even more familiar looking skeleton manning it. Frisk ran right past Sans’ station, only shouting, “Sans! Distract her!” as a greeting. Sans did not react; he kept right on sleeping, not even noticing Frisk passing. He still managed to complete his task, as Undyne fumed and banged on his station in a vain attempt to wake him up.

“Water cooler!” Chara said, pointing at the mentioned structure just ahead. “You need water, it’s so hot I feel like I’m about to start sweating!” Frisk nodded and made a beeline to it. Just as they reached it they heard a heavy sound behind them. Undyne had foolishly walked into Hotland wearing a portable oven and was cooking in her own juices. “She looks dried out…” Chara said ominously. Frisk filled up a cup of water and hurried back toward her, pouring the entire contents of the cup over her head.

Undyne raised her head to stare at Frisk. She clenched her fist and grimaced, starting to pull herself to her feet. “You can’t fight,” Frisk warned her. “If you get worked up in that armor you’ll die.” She snarled but had no way to prove them wrong. She turned on her heel and walked away, back toward Waterfall.

Chara let out a sigh of relief as Frisk trudged back to the water cooler. Frisk poured themself a cup, downed it, poured out another and dumped it on their head, then poured out a third and sipped it. “That was amazing,” Chara admitted.

“She almost got me with that last one,” Frisk said after gulping down the last of their water. “If you hadn’t warned me I think that would have been the end. Thank you.”

“Please don’t mention it,” Chara said. Their smile was thin, a symptom of their wandering thoughts. It was true, Frisk would have failed to block that attack without them. At the time they had been thinking maybe things would be better if the human died. It would certainly solve everyone’s problems at once. So why had they turned away from that solution? The answer was obvious: because in that moment, Frisk’s safety was more important to Chara than breaking the barrier.

_How long are you going to be a cactus?_

“Hey, Frisk. Hold still for a second.” Chara floated so they were right in front of them, reared their head back, and knocked their forehead into Frisk’s. They passed straight through each other, so Chara made a “thump” sound effect with their mouth to complete the ritual. Frisk held onto their forehead with an expression of wonder. “Friendship headbutt,” Chara said as they returned to their usual floating position next to them. They dropped their defenses for just a moment and allowed a bit of warmth to enter their smile. Their eyes lost their hard edge; now they looked tired and sad but with the tiniest speck of hope shining through. “We’re friends now.”

Once what Chara said sunk in Frisk gave them a big open-mouthed grin and an enthusiastic “Yeah!” Chara’s heart ached as it struggled to feel something it no longer could but they endured it. They both laughed softly, letting the moment linger.

Maybe destroying the barrier was unrealistic. There was only so much a child could do, and caring for an entire civilization was too much responsibility to place on them. Chara had tried but they could not do it. But they could look out for this child. This one good, sweet human of infinite patience who looked at monsters not as enemies or a power source but as equals. If there was a future for humans and monsters it was in Frisk. No, that was not right. They would not do this for humans, or even for monsters. They would protect Frisk because they were their friend. For now that was all they needed to be.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have several reasons for believing red signifies love: chiefly I feel Chara is not particularly strong on Determination like the orthodox reading would imply. I also feel Determination would not be a powerful word among the monsters in Chara’s time, as it is implied Alphys only isolated and discovered DT very recently. She would not have been so grandiose as to name her discovery after one of the main soul virtues (if anything she downplays her talents). The third reason I believe red is the soul color for love is implied in the Papyrus phone call for the L3 elevator room: if you’ve befriended Undyne, she mentions that love is supposed to be red, “Like a cartoony human heart”. I also have plot-related reasons: Chara’s past distrust of love and their current inability to feel it despite it being their primary attribute makes them a more tragic character. It also highlights similarities and differences between them and Frisk; they have the same color but manifest its attribute in very different ways, making their personalities contrast better while still allowing them to understand each other. Determination, meanwhile, does not give a strong impression of what someone with that virtue would be like the way other colors do. In that respect it never really “fit” with the others. I’ll revisit what having red as your soul color means in greater detail in a later chapter (not much later).


	10. Interlude: Know When to QUIT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a hope does not die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains graphic depictions of violence and abuse, a panic attack, misgendering, and ableism.

Frisk had nearly forgotten about it by the time they hit the save point right after Undyne’s attack. Chara had said they would answer any question Frisk asked, even if they did not want to talk about it. It seemed like an opportunity to hear more about Chara from their own mouth, but Frisk already knew how they would have to use it. They could not learn anything new; so much of what they knew about Chara either came from timelines which did not happen, or from memories Chara had no idea were leaking into Frisk. It was only a matter of time until Frisk let something slip and Chara would realize what was happening with their memories, and then Frisk would have to Load and lose who knew how much progress. The more they used the power of Save and Load to plumb Chara’s hidden depths, the more they would know things they should not and the greater chance of slipping up. So they would have to ask something so Chara would know Frisk knew, defusing the bomb before it exploded. There was no question what they would ask Chara about: Asriel. Nearly every memory which came through was Asriel, Asriel, Asriel. Even if they could not feel love itself in any of the memories, it was obvious from the way Chara acted, from how they looked at him, and how every little thing reminded them of him that Chara adored Asriel. It sent a stab of jealousy through their heart; why couldn’t Chara love Frisk like that? Why couldn’t anyone?

Still, they had to approach the question delicately. That was why they had to wait until they found a new Save point, so they could try over and over again until they knew the exact right question to ask and the exact right phrasing. They touched the star, feeling their Save had been updated. “Chara?” they asked between breaths. The narrow escape from Undyne through the tall grass had taken its toll. “Could you tell me… about Asriel?”

The ghost folded their arms, their smile drooping into a suspicious frown. “Where did you hear about Asriel?”

“Haven’t you… mentioned him before?” Chara shook their head disapprovingly, their frown deepening.

It certainly did not take long for them to step in that. This conversation was not going anywhere pleasant. Time to abort. Frisk Loaded. They were able to breathe a little easier now. “Chara, when you were living with the Dreemurrs, were you the only kid there? Or did they already have their own child?”

“The Dreemurrs?”

“You know, Toriel and Asgore.”

Chara narrowed their eyes. “How did you figure out they were married?” Wow, Chara was really quick to pick up on this stuff. Were they just naturally suspicious? Then again, if this was something they did not want to talk about Chara could be reasonably sure they had not said anything about it to Frisk. Chara… really didn’t remember Loads, right? They weren’t just toying with Frisk by pretending? They Loaded.

“Chara, do you memember the time I killed you?”

The look of shock and confusion on Chara’s face told them everything they needed to know. Although now that they thought of it… there might be a way to get new information while still letting Chara confirm things Frisk already knew. Even if it was something of a guess. They Loaded.

“Chara… how did you die?”

They took a sharp intake of breath and lowered their head. Each of their hands grabbed the opposite shoulder like they were trying to give themself a hug. “I’m sorry. I can’t talk about that.”

Disappointing; they did not think Chara would go back on their word like that. “You said I could ask and you’d answer. Even if you wouldn’t talk about it before. Are you actually sorry for-”

Chara head shook back and forth so slightly and quickly it looked almost like they were shivering. “No, I said I would talk about it even if I didn’t want to. This is different. I… I _can’t_. It’s… it’s too…” Chara was hiding their face from them now, but Frisk could still see black tears working their way down Chara’s face. This was the same face Chara had in the snowfield, just before they disappeared. Just before they died. From their last experience Frisk knew if they reacted to that face Chara would disappear immediately. It was something they were deeply ashamed about, and it was no wonder why. Having permanently closed eyelids was almost a blessing compared to whatever that was. But what it was and what it meant was a mystery to delve into another time.

Asking about Chara’s life with Toriel got them to talk about her, but they pointedly did not mention anyone else Frisk knew they lived with. Asking about how Chara fell got them talking about their climb up the mountain; despite their curiosity Frisk had to Load quickly before they learned anything they might let slip at an inopportune moment. Chara clammed up when Frisk asked about their family; they evaded the question by repeating they were never formally adopted by the monsters and did not have a family worthy of the name up on the surface. They tried a half dozen more times, and slowly pieced the rules together. Trying to be too circumspect would allow Chara to dodge the question by talking about what happened to them rather than who was around them at the time, so the question had to be about people. But they could not ask about Asriel directly. Asking about him through family was also not allowed. So what else would Asriel be to Chara?

They Loaded. “I think I know what I want to ask you,” Frisk said. “You said before you didn’t have many friends. Besides Sans, what other friends did you have while you were alive?” They were pretty sure this would work. And it did.

* * *

They had just gotten through the dump when they found another convenient Save point. “I really need a bath,” Frisk said. “Haven’t gotten clean since before I climbed the mountain. Would anyone get mad if I washed up in the stream?”

“No, it would be no problem.” There was a shakiness in their voice, though, as if it really would be a problem. “Just… don’t put your head under the water.”

What an odd command. “… Why? Is the water dangerous?”

“I don’t want to talk about it!” Chara snapped. “Just don’t, okay?” Their tone meant there was no room for discussion here.

That was okay; they could wash their hair by tilting their head without getting their face wet. That was no big deal. Frisk took off their clothes so they would be able to get into something dry afterward. Chara turned their back to give Frisk privacy. A passing Woshua took interest and helpfully provided soap for them to use. The water was cool and pleasant, washing off the dirt and dried sweat which had been accumulating since Frisk started climbing the mountain. They felt their cares and worries drift away with the current.

Still, they could not help but think about it. Why would Chara warn them so strongly against going under? Was the water poisonous in some way? Surely it would not be safe to bathe in if it were. Then did it just taste bad? That would be no problem so long as they held their breath. Besides, they had just saved. If it were dangerous they could just Load and at least then they would know. They did not think their curiosity would allow them to walk away when they knew they were not in real danger.

Frisk took in a big gulp of air, plugged their nose, and dunked their head under.

_The water was so frigid it nearly stole their breath. There was a brief moment of dysphoria as they realized they were wearing clothes again, the fabric chafing against their chest and legs. They tried to surface but someone had grabbed them by the hair on the back of their head and was holding their face under the water. When they tried to swat the hand away they realized their hands were tied behind their back at the wrists; they pulled but their arms were stuck fast. Their stomach was bent over a short wall of some sort, their legs kicking uselessly up into the air as they struggled to break free. They tried pulling left and right and panicked noises sounded out unbidden from their throat, but they dared not open their mouth. If they screamed all their air would rush out and they would swallow water. Their head was starting to get fuzzy. Their throat hurt. Their lungs burned, they were going to drown, they were going to die they needed air air air_

Frisk broke above the surface of the water with a massive gulp. They continued taking large breaths in between sputtering coughs, tears in their eyes. “Wosh u hair,” Woshua said as it sprayed a gentle stream of soap onto Frisk’s head; they waved it away irritably.

What was that?! It was like the memories they kept getting from Chara but much more intense. Normally they just had a vague recollection of something that happened. This time Frisk felt like they were there, experiencing the event like it was happening right now. “Chara?” they called out. “You… when you were on the surface… did your parents…?” Chara did not acknowledge Frisk had spoken. They just kept floating, so engrossed by what they were looking at that-

No. They were not staring at anything. They were staring at nothing, rocking back and forth very slightly in the air. Frisk got out of the water, realizing immediately they were not wearing anything, but damn it Chara was more important right now. “Chara?” they half-shouted. “Chara, what happened? Are you-”

As soon as they got close they knew exactly what was happening to Chara. Their pupils were dilated but their eyes were wide and bulging out of their skull. They were gripping their arms so tightly their knuckles were turning white. Their entire body shuddered and only gagging sounds escaped their throat; it sounded a little like they were trying to laugh while inhaling. “W-what?” they choked without looking at Frisk. “I just… remembered s-something a little rough. I’m f-f-fine, don’t w-worry about m-me.”

They had seen this before. Some of the foster kids were not abandoned like Frisk, some of them had been taken away from their parents. These kids would get like this sometimes, sometimes when somebody shouted too loud or raised a fist against them but often for no reason at all. That memory… had that happened to Chara? Was that why they did not want Frisk to go underwater? “You’re not fine, Chara,” they said. “I saw what happened. Was… was that why you climbed the mountain? Because that was happening to you?”

“D-dammit Frisk.” Chara squeezed their eyes shut and seethed between clenched teeth. “I told you. I told you not to…” Their teeth chattered together, making further speech impossible.

“It’s okay,” Frisk said, holding up their hands in a placating gesture. “It’s okay, this’ll all be okay. I can fix this. I can fix it!”

They Loaded. Immediately the smell of the garbage dump returned in full force and they gagged. “Do you mind if I take a bath to wash the stink off?” This time when Chara warned them not to put their head under the water they accepted and obeyed without thinking about it.

* * *

They very nearly Loaded when they touched Chara’s soul. They knew from Chara’s reaction they should not have done that. They only hesitated because they knew that scent of garbage would come back from their last save and they did not want to take a third bath in an hour. But Chara forgave them, and they knew Chara was not lying about that. The dead child was an exceptionally poor liar: whenever they became dishonest their face would become static, their smile became the exact kind of innocent which looked anything but innocent, and their eyes would glass over. They were trying to remove all potential traces of deception from their expression and badly overcorrecting. They must have been aware of this themself, for most of the time Chara simply refused to answer questions they did not want to answer and harshly steered discussions away from sensitive topics. That was the only reason Frisk forgave them for deceiving them about how dangerous monsters were; Chara was misguided but sincere in their belief that monsters were generally harmless. Chara had only lied to them once, back at the start of the journey when they tried to convince Frisk Toriel actually wanted them to strike out on their own. Frisk had seen through that lie too but went along with it anyway out of expedience; their curious nature would not allow them to have waited more than a few minutes longer anyway.

Frisk almost Loaded again just a few moments later when Chara breathlessly admitted they could not feel love. Chara’s laughter was broken and shrill, their face haunted. Rather than want to join in, Frisk wanted to take Chara in their arms and tell them it was not their fault. “i think…” Napstablook said. “they should lie on the floor and feel like garbage a while. it’s a family tradition.” The ghost flipped horizontally and drifted to the floor to lie down next to Chara. “you can join us, if you want.” Frisk did not know what else to do, so they lied down too. It gave them time to think.

Chara believed they could not feel love, but that was wrong. Not wrong in the sense of being unjust, though it was also that. Rather, Chara was wrong about being unable to feel love. They _had_ to be able to. Their hero worship of Undyne. How frequently they thought of Asriel and the hint of tenderness that slipped into their expression whenever they did. Heck, even the way Chara was slowly (very slowly) warming to Frisk. None of that would be possible without love. So they had to be wrong. Frisk was deceptively good at logical reasoning. What they were bad at was showing their work. They thought by feeling, by emotion, by intuitively forming connections based on what they knew was true but lacked the words to fully explain. They could not detail how each step led to the next and how they reached their conclusion. This is why, after thinking over the problem for some time, they believed they knew the truth of Chara’s disability. The problem was, they did not have the language skill to explain what was wrong or their reasons for believing their hypothesis was correct. Still, they owed it to Chara to try.

So the next time they used a Save point they turned to Chara. “You _can_ feel love. I know it.”

The ghost frowned, their eyes becoming narrow slits. “Suddenly you think you know what I feel better than I do?”

“That’s not what I mean!” Frisk protested. “I just mean… you don’t hafta be scared. We’re all here for you.”

The ghost crossed their arms over their chest and scowled. “I said I didn’t want to talk about it.”

Frisk’s hands opened and closed in frustration. If only Chara knew sign! They could sign things better than they could use their voice! But they had tried shortly after their first meeting and Chara did not seem to recognize it. “Listen to me! You have to-”

Chara pinched the bridge of their nose. “What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate. Alright, I’m going to put this in very simple terms even you will be able to understand clearly.” Chara zoomed right up to Frisk, staring into their eyes from an inch away. “ _Fuck off_.” They would not even give Frisk a chance. Frisk had no choice but to give up. They Loaded. When they returned they did not attempt to strike the conversation back up. They needed time to think, time to plan. They continued walking down the path, glancing at Chara as they pondered how to break through their armor. Chara did not even notice anything had happened. Because, after all, nothing happened.

* * *

Frisk carefully sidled closer to the cave entrance, sliding their feet instead of stepping so they would not trip on anything, keeping an eye on Undyne. They would have to gauge how close they could get before Undyne reacted. If they knew precisely where that line was maybe they could maybe sprint past and get to Hotland before Undyne could land and recover. They were pretty sure they could be safe if they could make it there; a fish wearing heavy metal armor would not last long in any place called Hotland. If they could get there fast enough they would be able to escape. They were able to keep this belief until a spear slammed down in front of them. They felt tingly all over and their soul appeared, that “magic field” Chara kept talking about, but this time their soul was green.

“She turned your soul green,” Chara explained. “You won’t be able to move far from that spot. Maybe you can grab the spear. The spear is the focus of the spell; as long as it exists you won’t be able to escape but you should be able to use it to deflect attacks.” Frisk raised an eyebrow. Bullets were dangerous for humans to touch, right? “ Green magic is called ‘healing’ magic, but more correctly it’s ‘binding’ magic. Stitching together wounds and pulling dust back into a monster’s body are just some of its applications. You can’t dodge with your movement restricted, so an alternate method of defending yourself has been provided. Isn’t that kind of her?” Once again Chara was trying to make monsters sound cuddly and friendly. Still, Frisk really could not move. It was as if a chain were wrapped securely around their torso, pulling them back with inexhaustible force if they tried to move more than a couple steps away from where the spear landed. Frisk first tapped the spear to make sure it would not hurt them like a normal bullet, then they pulled the spear out of the ground and clutched it to their chest.

“If you don’t learn to face danger head-on,” Undyne warned. “You won’t last a second against me!” She created three spear-shaped bullets in a straight line. They lazily tracked through the air slowly but inexorably toward Frisk. Sure enough there was not enough space for Frisk to dodge; they hid behind the spear, blocking the attacks awkwardly on the tip. “Not bad!” Undyne admitted. “So how about this?!” This time she created several bullets, all coming from different angles. Somehow Frisk’s uncoordinated flailing managed to block most of them but a few managed to sneak through. Frisk took a hit on their thigh and shoulder, wincing through the pain as Undyne prepared another attack. Whatever, it was only pain. As long as their soul was safe they would live.

“Undyne,” they seethed. “Please stop. I don’t want to fight you!”

The warrior only grinned wider. “Not surprising. I wouldn’t want to fight me either!” Another torrent of spears rained down. Frisk blocked a few but took a bullet to the hand and dropped the spear. In their scramble to pick it up they took spears in their side and on top of their head. It was a good thing bullets disappeared after they hit, or Frisk would look a grisly picture with four spears sticking out of them. Even so they ached all over. Undyne regarded them with disdain. “Or what? Are you going to tell me you don’t want to hurt anyone? Ha! Your life is keeping all the monsters trapped. You hurt us all with every breath you take! Monsters can’t be free as long as you live. I will _never_ accept your mercy! NGAAAAAH!”

Chara practically had stars in their eyes as they narrated, “Undyne suplexes a huge boulder, just because she can!” And she really did. Frisk could not even blame them; they would probably suplex boulders too if they could. Between volleys Frisk pulled the single-serving quiche out of their pocket and wolfed it down, recovering the feeling in their limbs. That was when they noticed the next attack had a yellow spear mixed in among the white ones. What on earth…?

“Frisk, it’s a trick!” Chara called out suddenly. “That one’s going to fly past and come back from behind!”

So that was how it was. Chara was trying to betray them, make them turn their back on an attack so they would die. Given the choice between freeing the monsters and saving Frisk, of course Chara would choose the monsters. Even still, it hurt. They thought some progress was being made, but Chara’s hatred for humanity ran too deep after all. Frisk swung at the gleaming yellow bullet, but just before it entered their range it flew up and past them. A second later they felt a tiny flicker of pain in their chest and looked down; just as Chara had predicted the yellow spear had flown past and turned around to strike Frisk in the back, piercing the center of their soul. The red cracked and disappeared, and all the strength left Frisk’s body.

Chara… tried to save them. Even knowing that their dream could be fulfilled by Frisk’s death Chara still chose to protect them. And Frisk had not believed them. Even after working out Chara could still feel love they had still doubted them at the critical moment.

They had a brief vision of a blurry face, the same one they had when they had been killed out on the Snowdin Field. Then they were back, alive and in front of the cave, Undyne high above. Frisk’s death had not happened, so what had led to it had not happened either. There was no reason to be sad or guilty. They had done nothing wrong.

* * *

Frisk had lost track of how many times Undyne had killed them. They had gotten a bit further each time, lasting longer and longer, but sooner or later the fatigue would catch up with them. No matter how they acted or how pitifully they begged Undyne would never give up. She would never stop. She would never accept mercy. Frisk was tired of it. Tired of deflecting the same bullets coming in at the same angles. Tired of getting speared through the chest and waking up to Chara squealing with glee. Tired of trying, tired of dying, tired of beating their head against that fishy iron wall. They felt something gnawing at the inside of their head. It was the same feeling they got when Ronnie Jenkins, nearly five feet tall and well over a hundred pounds, cornered them in the hallway and called them “demon”, “spaz”, “retard”, and the like. The same feeling when a crowd started forming and Ronnie pushed them into the wall and laughed that he was going to kick the shit out of them so they knew who ran the school. The feeling that the person in front of them was used to getting their way because they were bigger and stronger and more violent and that made them better than anyone else, and Frisk was not going to roll over for those people, not then, not now, not ever.

Frisk slipped the gloves back on for the first time since leaving Snowdin. “For five-fingered folk,” Chara had commented on the gloves. All of those words started with the same sound. Was that another kind of joke? Should they laugh? No, Chara said they preferred Frisk not laugh if they did not find their jokes funny. Frisk had experimented a few times and this seemed to be the case; Chara was unnaturally good at detecting a pity laugh and would sulk and mumble until Frisk Loaded their mistake away. The gloves covered their entire fingers and had thick padding, hopefully enough to protect them. “Are your hands getting cold?” Chara asked curiously. Frisk shook their head, being careful not to let their anger seep through. Chara might try to talk them down if they figured out what Frisk was up to and they absolutely did not want to have that conversation. They needed this.

They stepped forward and grabbed the spear before Chara could explain about the spear and green magic. After so many tries they no longer cared about being polite enough to let Chara tell them what to do. Frisk had memorized the first attack pattern, so they brushed aside the bullets with casual ease. Undyne snarled at how easily her attack was being neutralized, but she never thought to vary her attacks. After all, she had no way of knowing these attacks had failed so many times before. A Load erased her experiences but not Frisk’s. So just by memorizing the attacks they could be perfectly safe. Right on time: the yellow arrow shot past Frisk and Chara warned them of its approach. They did not even need to think about it now, just turn and block it on the haft. That would shatter the spear and end the binding spell. Then Chara would tell them to run. Normally they ignored it, because no matter what they would have to go through this path to continue. Undyne would still be here waiting for them even if they fled. But this time Frisk took the advice and ran straight toward Undyne.

Nobody ever taught Frisk how to fight. They were never taught how to follow through with an attack, or how a palm-heel hurts just as much as a fist and you will not break your hand if you hit an elbow or forehead, or how to cup your hand when hitting someone in the ear to burst their eardrum, or how if you are straddling Ronnie Jenkins’ chest anyway you might as well pin his upper arms under your knees so he cannot defend himself with his hands and you can whale on his face all you like. Nobody taught Frisk any of these things but they knew them anyway. Ronnie may have been almost twice their size but size and strength only matters if the wielder knows how to use them. Frisk may have lied when they told Flowey they did not want to hurt anyone. In the heat of the moment hurting people felt good. Watching smug Ronnie Jenkins cower and blubber under their hammer blows was amazing. At the moment they would think, maybe if they let themself off the leash more often nobody would ever mess with them or ignore them or call them names. They loved taking revenge on the people who tormented them, to see them get the beating they’d had coming for a long time, and if Frisk watched closely they could actually pinpoint the moment an opponents’ pride shriveled up and died as a slightly-smaller-than-average child beat them bloody with no recourse.

Even if the monsters were trying to kill them they were so goofy and inept about it that it took until Glyde for it to finally sink in that Frisk was in actual danger. Yes they were angry and upset about it, but for all the evil intentions monsters had towards them fighting back would have been like kicking a puppy. But this was not true of Undyne. She was a warrior, trained, armed, and armored for prey much more dangerous than Frisk appeared to be. No silly threats, no pranks, no horseplay, just a spear to the throat. If that was the game she wanted to play then Frisk was more than up for it. Gerson had mentioned hatred, cruelty, and savagery were poisonous to monsters. In that case Undyne was about to get a big surprise.

Frisk slammed a palm-heel into the side of Undyne’s knee, causing it to buckle. Chara made a strangled cry of surprise and alarm somewhere behind them but Frisk ignored it. Undyne stumbled and brought her stomach within range; they had follow-up blows ready, delivering a flurry of punches to her midsection. Her plate buckled under the strain and a fine white sand began to pour out between the seams in the armor. Undyne tried to swing her spear to knock them away but it was no use, a spear was a distance weapon and Frisk was inside her range. Instead she lost her balance and fell onto her back. Frisk was on her in an instant, kneeling on her chest and pounding away at her head with both hands. They were careful to keep away from her mouth; her teeth were long and sharp, and with her strength she could probably bite clean through their wrist in one chomp. But from Frisk’s vantage point they could strike with almost a dozen blows in a single second and Undyne was powerless to defend herself. Finally Undyne managed to grab Frisk by the back of the shirt and hurl them away. Frisk twisted in the air to land on their feet and dashed without a single moment for reprieve. Undyne had only managed to get to her hands and knees, and with her set up so perfectly like that Frisk could not resist kicking her in the chin like they were punting a football. As their head snapped back Undyne threw a spear into the ground, turning Frisk’s soul green again. Undyne lay where she fell, unmoving, as Frisk took the spear in hand once more.

“Frisk,” Chara whispered into their ear through clenched teeth. “What in the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Frisk ignored them. Undyne might get desperate and change her attack pattern now. They had no way of knowing how Undyne might react to getting hurt, they had never hit them before, so they had to be on guard.

Undyne slowly got to her feet, dust seeping from the cracks in her armor and her face covered in silty gray powder. “You…” she said between labored breaths. “You were stronger than I thought. So this… is where it ends…” She shook her head fiercely, dust forming a cloud around her head. “NO! Alphys… Asgore… everyone… they’re all counting on me to protect them! I won’t let them down! I _can’t_ let them down!” She threw another volley of spear bullets, faster and fiercer than ever. Frisk whirled their spear and deflected most of them, but they took hits on their bicep and hips. They barely even felt them; even the Froggit with its flies had a stronger attack.

“Undyne looks determined,” Chara said, swallowing hard. “She’s smiling as if nothing is wrong.”

She scoffed with all the honor and pride befitting a captain of the Royal Guard. “Pathetic. You’ll… you’ll have to try harder than that!” She fired another volley, but this one was much weaker than the previous one. Undyne sagged under the weight of her armor; her feet and legs shifted like the air over asphalt on a hot day.

“Undyne’s body is wavering.” Chara was staring at Undyne, horrified. “You… you have meltdown and you still became captain of the Royal Guard?! You _idiot!_ You absolute idiot! Don’t you know how dangerous that is? You should be in bed, you should be-”

Frisk had many questions, but Undyne’s attack continued. The spear bullets now came only one or two at a time, and they were moving slower than Frisk could walk. “S-see how strong we are…? When we believe in ourselves? Monsters will… never give in… never… give up…”

Chara covered their mouth, collapsing to their knees. “Undyne’s body is… Undyne…”

The haze had reached her neck, and the bullets were so weak they were not even reaching Frisk before vanishing. Frisk threw the spear down; they had seen enough. “Stop it, Undyne! It’s over! You can’t fight any more! If you keep going you’re going to-”

“NO!” Undyne screamed, taking a single step forward. Her body moved like something that crawled out of a swamp; her armor and scales were melting together into a uniform sludge. “If you get past me, you’ll do to them what you’ve done to me! I can’t die! I won’t die! I… I mustn’t…” Undyne fell forward, and when she hit the ground her body splattered like yogurt. The drops lingered for just a moment before fragmenting into dust and blowing away with the wind.

Frisk caught their breath, staring at the empty path. They felt numb. They had not meant to kill her, not really. They just wanted to blow off some steam and get her to stop fighting. But in the end it had been that simple. They thought themselves foolish now for spending the entirety of Waterfall running scared. Undyne was supposed to be the captain of the Royal Guard. She had trained for years for the express purpose of fighting, so they could one day kill a human. And… what happened instead? She ran into a child, and that child had beaten her to death with their bare hands? Was that all monsters were? They had never realized before just how true Chara’s statement had been. A monster’s entire body was their weak point. With their fighting skills and determination… was there anyone in the entire Underground that could stop them if they put their mind to… to…

“The wind has stopped,” Chara said quietly. When Frisk turned to face them Chara was hugging themself tightly. Their voice contained deep reproach as they informed Frisk, “Your LOVE has increased.” They looked up to stare hatefully at Frisk, their ruby eyes trying to bore a hole in their head.

“She was going to kill me,” Frisk protested, hoping their words would stave off the guilt. “She wouldn’t have listened if I tried to spare her. I didn’t have a choice.” They had not been wrong. Even if they showed mercy to every monster before or since, Undyne deserved to die. Killing her was not a mistake.

Chara squeezed their eyes shut tight and rubbed at them. When they stopped they had their usual smile, totally lacking in warmth or joy. “No, you’re right,” they said. Their eyes were narrowed, staring intently at a rock on the side of the path. “It was self-defense. She wasn’t going to listen so you had to fight back. Sometimes you have to kill if you want to stay alive. That’s the way the world is. It’s nobody’s fault, and there’s nothing we can do about it.” Then much quieter, so quiet Frisk almost convinced themselves they had not said it: “I was right, Ree.”

Asriel again. Frisk snorted and reached out to the save point. No way they were ever doing that again. Now that they had finally passed this roadblock, they needed to Save before-

“Hey, Frisk. Just so you are aware, I will not hold you to that promise to break the barrier.”

Frisk retracted their hand and stared at Chara. “… What?”

“Or perhaps I should say, ‘please do not keep your promise to break the barrier.’ It’s just…” Chara took a deep breath and looked straight into Frisk’s eyes. “Even if monsters make it to the surface, they will all get killed. I mean, you, a kid, beat their strongest warrior. Against actual soldiers they would be slaughtered. They have no way to fight back against humanity. So maybe it would be better if the barrier remains as it is. Yes it’s terrible and depressing underground, but at least monsters can survive here. At least they are alive.”

Frisk had seen something in Chara’s eyes before, only noticeable now that they could not find it. There had been a sparkle there, wrenching itself up from somewhere deep inside where it had been smothered and buried and forgotten. Now it had been swallowed up and dragged back down into the muck, and this time it had disappeared forever. Whatever spark of hope Frisk had started to awaken in Chara was gone.

Frisk had not been lying when they told Flowey they did not want to hurt anyone. After the adrenaline rush wore off and they were left to deal with the aftermath winning a fight felt an awful lot like losing one. The boys taunted Ronnie with mock ballads and limericks because he got his ass kicked by a _gu~url_ but none of that ever trickled down to treating Frisk nicer. The girls whispered just loud enough to be overheard that if Frisk wanted to be so rough they might as well just call them a boy. Frisk rankled at this but never had the right words to explain what being non-binary meant so they just glowered. That afternoon they both got pulled into the principal’s office to get three days suspension for fighting and none of the teachers cared who started it. That sounded so strange and unfair to Frisk: shouldn’t it matter who was trying to mind their own business and who was pushing and shoving? But then the parents joined the picture and Ronnie’s folks said isn’t it obvious I mean look at them, Frisk without a scratch and big Ronnie beat to hell and if Ronnie hit first a wisp of a girl like Frisk surely would have been taken out in one blow so its obvious Frisk ambushed him, and Ronnie nodded his head and all of a sudden it did matter who started it because Ronnie went back to class and their foster parents just shook their heads and offered not one word in Frisk’s defense and took them home. The next day with still two days left in their sentence the foster parents called CPS and sent Frisk back because they did not have the energy to deal with “such a problematic child”.

Fighting was the one thing Frisk was unequivocally the best at, the one thing they had more skill at than any other kid, and it absolutely killed them that no matter how many fights they won it never made anything better.

Frisk lowered their head. There was haze in their mind and weight in their bones. They were tired, so tired. They wanted to pretend they had not seen it, not noticed it disappear, not realized the significance of it, but it was no use. It was not as though they felt sorry for Undyne, but Chara did not deserve this. They could not do this to them. They just couldn’t. There _had_ to be a better way.

When they raised their head again they were standing in the same spot as before, but the wind had picked up again. Chara was just behind them, shivering with barely-constrained glee. And Undyne stood atop the cave entrance, glowering at them imperiously. Frisk plodded forward to face again a threat they thought had passed. But it would be okay. They knew now they had the strength to beat her. If they ever absolutely positively could not go on trying they could kill her. And because they could, they would not have to.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Even at LV 1 Frisk can defeat Undyne, an exceptionally talented monster who has trained for years for the sole purpose of killing humans. It’s sort of ridiculous to claim Frisk can’t fight; the existence of Neutral and Genocide runs mean they clearly can and unless you want to make the argument that monsters are comically, impossibly weak you must assume Frisk is very, very good at it. The question then becomes, “why would someone who can fight choose not to when threatened?” And that question promises some interesting answers.


	11. Making Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a lesson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apology in advance because jeebus this flashback got away from me.

_The king rumbled with laughter as the elevator doors opened and a blast of heat nearly knocked Chara over. It was their first time in Hotland and it certainly lived up to the name. Asgore said, “The doctor is very strange, but he is not a bad person. Not really, though he likes to pretend differently.” Chara was not so sure of that. The laboratory looked ominous, a gleaming silver fortress against the stark reds of Hotland. If they had not been holding Asgore’s hand they would have bolted back the way they came. As it was they still held a book against their chest like a shield. Asgore’s unconcerned demeanor helped calm them somewhat but not completely. The laboratory doors opened automatically as they approached, swallowing them up without fanfare. At least there was air conditioning in here. “Dr. Gaster!” Asgore called out enthusiastically. “I need to tear you away from your precious CORE for a moment! I have a new project for you to work on!”_

_There was a man stationed at a computer when they entered. This man swiveled his chair around and Chara gasped when they caught sight of him. He was tall and impossibly gangly with a bulbous pale head and a white labcoat. At first Chara thought he was bald, but as they stared they realized the man not only had no hair but also no skin; they were looking at a skull. Tiny pinpricks of light shone from somewhere within his eyesockets. The impossibly thin hands were literally nothing more than bones, no muscle or nerves to connect them to each other. The skeleton eyed them with a disdainful expression before turning to stare at Asgore. He then did… something with his hands, waving them in complex gestures that could not have been random but held no meaning to them._

“ _Yes, this is the human child you may have heard about, and also the new project I spoke of. Oh no, get that glint out of your eye. They are our guest, you are not to harm the tiniest hair on their head. For now, just check on them and make sure their health is good. If there are any tests you can run without hurting them you can go ahead and indulge yourself. They are a bit skittish, so please take care. Oh, and their name is Chara. I’m telling you because you may not be able to get a word out of them later, ha ha ha.” Asgore knelt down to speak to Chara. “The doctor can only speak in sign. If I know him he has already summoned an assistant to translate for him. Dr. Gaster is a brilliant scientist, but his bedside manner is atrocious and he knows it.” In response Gaster made a rude gesture Chara did not need to know sign to understand._

_Almost as if on cue an elevator door opened and a monster came out. This one was quite small, only a head taller than Chara themself, and were not wearing a labcoat so much as a labponcho. They resembled a lizard or dinosaur of some kind, with a frill along the center line of their skull and no visible arms. They bowed low to Asgore the moment they saw him. “Your majesty!” they said in a squeaky voice. “Is this a request from you?”_

“ _Indeed,” Asgore said with a chuckle. “And you are… Grembenalkindlin, yes?”_

“ _Everyone gets it wrong, call me GK,” the little monster said without a hint of offense. “I’m just a humble assistant to Dr. Gaster, after all.”_

“ _Don’t sell your talents short,” Asgore said. “Only thirteen years young and you’ll be completing your own doctorate in only another year or two, yes? Even Gaster himself was not so impressive at your age.” Gaster made a sound like a ten-speed bicycle shifting gears and made a few more hand signs which Asgore ignored. “But, I should leave you to your work. Remember, if you leave so much as a scratch on them I’ll know!” He said this with cheer but his eyes were not smiling at all. Then he faced Chara and he was the epitome of gentleness once more. “Are you sure you will be alright?”_

_Chara looked at the two monsters and put a hand to their chest to measure their heartbeat. It was a little faster than normal, but steady. “I’ll be okay, I think,” they confirmed. “I don’t like doctors, but if they’re monsters too I think I can manage it.”_

“ _If you change your mind, all you have to do is give us a call and we’ll come running.” He held out his hand in offer; Chara shook their head and he pulled it back without a word or change of gesture. “Very well! I leave them in your care.” Then he was gone._

_The examination was not what Chara expected. The two monsters led Chara to a room deeper into the facility. Once there they instructed Chara to lie down on a table. Dr. Gaster aimed a large device GK called a “espirospectrometer” at Chara’s chest and turned it on; it made a low humming sound and data started pouring onto the computer screens too fast for Chara to read. Dr. Gaster was referring to a clipboard held in a… third hand? It was definitely a skeletal disembodied hand, floating at Gaster’s chest height and off to one side. Every so often it lifted the clipboard to his face; he would read something, nod slightly, and a fourth hand (also disembodied) holding a pen would write something or check something off, and then both hands would retreat back to his side. Chara supposed it was a trick he mastered to keep his own hands free to communicate. The assistant sat down at a computer and used their toes to pull out a tray holding a keyboard, tapping out commands with their feet. “Let’s take a look, I’ll fill you in as we go,” they said. “Most of us don’t have any experience with human physiology, but when it comes to examining souls we won’t lose to anyone. I don’t think anybody but Dr. Gaster has ever examined a human, so is it okay if we go in order rather than skip anything?” Chara gave them a strange look, but Gaster’s slow nod indicated the question had been aimed at the doctor rather than the patient. GK continued, “Then first thing’s first, we check the LOVE. LOVE is… one. That’s expected, it means you’ve never killed anyone.”_

“ _That’s wrong,” Chara said. “I heard it. When I was born, my mother…” They looked away. “She was too weak to have another kid. Having me killed her. I killed her.”_

“ _Possibly,” GK mulled. “But LV only increases in the case of willful, intentional killing. Looking someone right in the eye, wanting them dead, and making it happen. That’s much different than your mother… dying from birth? Can that happen to humans?” They shot a glance up at Gaster, who shrugged in a ‘why not?’ fashion. “The point is, your soul doesn’t gain EXP, that is ‘execution points’, if someone dying was not your conscious choice or effort. You did not have the capacity for either of those as a newborn so you could not possibly be held responsible for it.” Chara snorted. But they_ had _been held responsible for it, hadn’t they?_

_GK seemed to think that covered everything and continued his analysis. “HP is… 7? That can’t be right. You’d be in serious danger of Falling Down if it was that low.” Chara could hear the capital letters on that phrase. Dr. Gaster added something with his hand signals and GK translated, “He says Falling Down is very rare in humans and is usually not fatal by itself. He adds that monster HP and human HP are on different scales; monsters need more because they can get hurt so much more easily. A human’s physical body keeps them from gaining HP but also protects them much better. HP of 7 is still not good for a human, it’s barely more than a fifth of what it should be for your age, but it’s not-” GK made a face as Gaster continued making signs, only now Gaster had a tiny black grin on his face. “No, I should hope the child does not understand the implications of ‘notify-the-family-not-good’. It’s still not funny. We’ll have to keep an eye on your HP going forward. Moving on… ATK and DEF are in normal ranges, though pretty lopsided towards DEF. Not sure if that means anything. INV is normal, SPD is a little on the low side but if we get you on an exercise regimen we should be able to do something about that. Alright, now for the interesting part. We’re going to get a readout on your virtues.”_

“ _Virtues?”_

“ _The seven virtues are what we…” GK got a dose of stinkeye from Gaster and struggled to correct himself. “Well, not scientists but what some monsters believe are the personality traits which are most important. Everyone expresses them in different ways and amounts, and by cultivating all of them one can achieve enlightenment. Our machines can measure your soul’s output and determine exactly how much you express these virtues. Patience, the ability to self-motivate and maintain hope. Bravery, the confidence to act decisively. Integrity, the strength of your moral compass. Perseverance, the power to withstand hardship. Kindness, respect for those you don’t know. Justice, the drive to protect others. And last but certainly not least, Love, the depth of the connections you form with others.”_

_Chara frowned. “One of those doesn’t fit with the others.”_

_GK smiled. “I disagree, Love is a very important quality. You’ve heard stories about how someone can become even stronger and more motivated when they are fighting for their friends, or their family, or their partner? That’s Love. It’s also what keeps you from being an automaton; Love is what reminds a warrior they are still a person when they take their armor off. It’s a mark that you are more than what you do and what you look like.”_

_Chara craned their neck to try and read GK’s screen but could not make any sense out of the stream of numbers. “So which of those virtues does your machine say I’m missing?”_

“ _Ha ha, what makes you think there’s something wrong with you? Like everybody, your soul has its strong and weak points. Integrity and Justice are very strong in you. Perseverance and Kindness, not so much. Bravery is about average. Your Patience is… in the bottom quintile. Hm. That might help explain the 7 HP. But your highest is Love.” GK correctly interpreted the sour expression on Chara’s face. “Now, that doesn’t make you weak any more than a high Kindness would make you a doormat. It means that when you find someone or something you care about, you care about them very deeply. You are very devoted to those who earn your trust. With your high Integrity you would take your promises and obligations to them seriously, and high Justice means you would go to any lengths to keep them safe and happy. That’s you! Doesn’t that sound like a person of noble character? It also reflects what you look for in other people: having such deep love and loyalty for those closest to you means you expect the same of other people, and it’s what you look for most when you interact with others.”_

“ _What if…” Chara scratched at the armrest of their chair. “What about if you care a lot about someone, but they don’t feel the same? What if everyone you trust uses that trust to hurt you? Wouldn’t it be a weakness?”_

_GK sighed. “All of the virtues can be weaknesses. Justice without Kindness to temper it leads to Severity; Patience without Bravery to recognize the time to act is Indolence; and so on. Your particular mix of strong and weak virtues will leave you open to particular hardships. I am not saying it is your fault, in the sense of you doing something wrong. Rather, having such a strong need to give and receive love, without the ability to determine who is worthy of that love or without anyone who could appreciate and respect it… betrayal would be inevitable. It must be tough for someone like you to survive in a world of humans.” Ha. They did not need a monster to tell them that._

_Chara said nothing so GK moved on. “All right, now that we have the preliminaries done, it’s the moment of truth! Energy intensity is… wow. Chara, your soul is putting out as much energy as nearly every monster in the Underground put together. With this much power you might even be able to penetrate the barrier. No? You’re shaking your head. What’s the matter about the barrier?”_

_Chara looked back to them nervously. They would be angry about their failure for sure. “… I tried. I can’t go through it.”_

_The assistant looked to Dr. Gaster in alarm. For his part, Gaster was only nodding while holding his chin. He made more of the hand signs, which the assistant translated: “He says he… expected it was possible a human is just shy of enough soul power to go through the barrier. If you could not step through it, it appears one would need at least the power of a human soul plus a monster soul.”_

_Chara looked at the assistant strangely. “How can someone have both?”_

_Gaster continued signing and the assistant balked. “Doctor! Are you sure we should tell-?!” Gaster snarled and signed very emphatically, each gesture made like a punch to the throat. The assistant leaned backward and swallowed hard. He turned to face Chara and explained, “He wants me to tell you how a monster could get that kind of power. Well… when a human dies, their soul does not immediately disappear. A monster, any monster, can absorb that soul. It becomes a part of them. You see, monsters are naturally magical so they can use the power of the soul more freely, but monster souls are very weak. Humans have very powerful souls, but all their physical matter gets in the way of them using magic. It’s still possible, you see, but it’s much harder. But if a monster had the soul of a human…”_

_Chara sprang away, their back slamming against the wall. The monsters were trapped here, and desperately wanted to escape. The quickest way for them to do that… would be to kill Chara. That was why everyone was being so nice! That was their goal! And they had been sent to this quack so he could pull the soul straight out of their body! What would happen to them if a monster took their soul? Chara did not know. It could be worse than dying. Their felt their eyes burn with shame. Of course, they had been a fool to trust them for even a moment. It was stupid to think they had actually cared about them._

“ _You see, Doctor! Now they’re scared stiff! That’s why I didn’t want to-” Gaster signed something back irritably. “Even if you’re right and they did find out somewhere else, that doesn’t mean they have to learn about it from us!” Gaster waved a hand dismissively and turned his attention back to the clipboard in his third hand. The assistant sighed and said to Chara, “I understand you might not trust us after that. Please, you have nothing to fear from us. The fact is monsters have a hard time killing anyone. Monsters have to really want to hurt someone or their attacks aren’t effective. Moreover, a human’s body being made primarily of physical matter makes it easy for them to kill monsters. Thinking logically, the time to attack you was right after you fell. Right now, even though you’re a child, you could probably defeat most monsters without trouble if you really put an effort into it. Even if they managed to do it and take your soul, what would it help them? They’d have to get past Asgore to make it out and he would know exactly where the soul came from. I don’t think even a monster with a human soul could beat Asgore, and even if they could absolutely no one would do anything to hurt or upset him. Everyone loves him! So please, don’t be frightened. No monster is going to want your soul.” Chara’s tension eased a little, and they stopped trying to push themselves through the wall. Gaster signed something to the assistant, grinning widely. The assistant narrowed his eyes, and the skull’s mouth opened to reveal darkness within. A sound came out of it, something like a warble but very low pitched. The assistant shook his head disapprovingly. “No, telling the human ‘I want your soul but I’m under orders not to take it’ isn’t funny.”_

_Chara licked their lips. “Can-” They stopped, allowing the assistant and the doctor to react to their voice. Both turned toward them expectantly but they did not seem upset. Alright, might as well go for it. “Can humans absorb a monster soul?”_

_The assistant looked up at Gaster; the doctor shook his head. “No,” the assistant said woodenly. “Monster souls don’t survive past death. They disappear instantly before they could be absorbed.” So even if they wanted to Chara could not use that method to cross the barrier. Good, that meant they would never be tempted by it and the monsters would trust them not to do anything to try. Chara nodded in understanding, and the assistant let out a breath. (It would be several months before Chara learned Dr. Gaster and GK had left out a key exception; the truth was so repugnant Chara forgave them for omitting it right away.) “Okay! I think we have what we need for today. I’m going to prescribe exercise and… time in the garden, doctor? He says you will need sunlight for ‘vitamin D’ and it’s one of the few places where you will get it. I’m not sure what he’s talking about but it seems like he isn’t trying to joke so I trust him on it. If you can wait here we’ll have someone escort you back to the castle as soon as we have someone free. Will you be alright by yourself?” Chara lifted up their book in response. “Ah, of course. Well, it was very nice to meet you Chara! Please give the king our regards.” Before the assistant had finished Gaster was already on his way out the door, his hands making irritable scratches on their clipboard. The assistant chased after him, saying to Chara over their shoulder, “Just wait here, someone will be along shortly to take you home!” Then the doors shut and they were alone._

_Chara sat on the examination table and kicked their legs in the air. They read all the posters around the room, infographics with titles like “Falling Down: Know the Signs” and “A Healthy Child Starts with Choosing Who Will Carry”. They learned factoids about monster healthcare they had no way of integrating with any of their previous knowledge, so it was forgotten almost as soon as they had read it. They poked around all the cupboards that were not locked, finding a box of tissues and some face masks and a tongue depressor. In all the room had enough activities to keep them occupied for about ten minutes so it was good they brought a book to read._

_While monsters had a very rich tradition of oral storytelling and escapist fiction, most of their books were cultural notes, biographies, and histories. Toriel had told them the material for new books was difficult to get; with no printing press and most of the Kingdom’s computers in use at the Laboratory and construction at the Core there was no way to mass-produce books for a consumer market. Chara thought this was not the whole explanation; Chara believed monsters expected to die out down here in the Underground and they wanted to leave a record of the people they once were and how they lived so an archaeologist a thousand years from now would be able to reconstruct what monster society might have been like. According to the history they were reading the monsters had been ambushed, killed by the thousands, and stuffed under a mountain. According to human history monsters had been completely forgotten about; nobody acknowledged they had ever existed. The thought made Chara’s teeth grind; monsters were kinder, more loving, and just plain better than humanity in every way that mattered. Why should their legacy be to serve as an intellectual curiosity to some egghead in the far distant future? Monsters deserved better than that. They deserved-_

_The lights suddenly went out, plunging the room into darkness. Emergency lights flickered on and painted everything in a faint red glow. The door slid up and stayed open. No one came through. Maybe it was a safety mechanism? Automatically open all the doors in case of a power failure so no one got trapped? Chara replaced the single string of yarn they were using as a bookmark, put down their book, and walked over to the open door. “Doctor…?” they said into the emptiness. “Assistant person? Anyone? Are you there?” No response. They looked both ways down the hall, but no one was there. Alright, it was too dim to read by now, might as well go exploring. They stepped into the silent hallway. The dim lights gave them an idea where the walls were but not much else. They carefully crept down the hall, one hand on the wall, listening intently for footsteps, conversation, or any other signs of life. The hall had that sterile, antiseptic smell they associated with hospitals. They should not be here. They should go back. If they went back to the room and waited someone would be along soon to-_

“ _Human.”_

 _The word came from right behind them. They shrieked and backed away, putting their back against the wall. A shadow stood behind them, only a tiny bit shorter than they were, holding out their hand expectantly. “Nice to meet you. Care to shake my hand?” Chara was so confused and terrified they could only obey. As they clasped hands what sounded like a very loud fart echoed through the corridors, causing Chara to shriek again. That was when the lights came back on, revealing the shape of their visitor: a skeleton like Dr. Gaster, but much shorter and dressed in blue shorts and a blue and white striped shirt. The stranger chuckled, “Heh heh, I put a whoopie cushion in my hand. Surprised you, huh?” The skeleton kid had a huge grin on his face, though on closer inspection it seemed the skull itself had been molded into that shape. “I’m Sans, Sans the skeleton kid. Don’t be scared, I was just trying to ease you into a new place. My dad works here under Dr. Gaster. You seemed kinda_ bone _-ly just sitting there and I didn’t have the_ guts _to just walk away. Didn’t mean to_ rattle your bones _too much.”_

_Chara took a deep breath in, then a deep breath out. They counted to ten in their head to try to calm their racing heart while Sans’ grin became uneasy. They knew what to do here, but their heart would not calm down. But they were not going to freak out. They would not! “Your jokes… aren’t you a little ashamed of them?”_

_The lights disappeared from Sans’ eye sockets. “You don’t like ‘em?”_

_Chara shrugged. They had to play this right. “I dunno. They just… seem a little_ bare bones _to me.” They were unable to keep a grin off their face any longer._

 _The lights in Sans’ skull turned on again. “Jeez, for a second I thought you were about to say you hated jokes. That would have crossed a serious_ bone _-dry.”_

 _Chara shook their head with a snicker but choked it back. “No, I would never be so_ marrow- _minded. I can only keep a_ sternum _expression up for so long.”_

 _Sans scrunched his shoulders from the effort of keeping the laughter in. “Heh, you said it. Still, sorry for making you jump out of your_ skin _for a second there.”_

“ _It’s okay. Once the lights turned back on I could tell you were okay, I could see right through you.”_

“ _You really will make a skeleton joke out of anything. Is nothing_ sacrum _to you?”_

 _No good, he must know all the skeleton jokes,_ all _of them. At this rate they were going to lose. “Not at all! But I think I’m going to have to branch out of skeleton jokes sometime to survive here… snrk… in the_ Pun _-derground.”_

 _The skeleton’s eyes twinkled. The_ real _battle was finally beginning. “Okay, how about we switch to science puns since it seems you haven’t_ sulfured _enough yet?”_

 _Agh, no good! His dad was a scientist, that would be another area of his expertise! Had to get off that topic. But what else did Chara know well? Suddenly they realized. “Nah, you’ve probably heard all of those too and I would just_ borium _you. I was actually thinking about flower puns,_ bud _, but_ lilac _the knowledge of how much you know about ‘em.” Sans covered their mouth. “What’s the matter? Or you feeling_ bouquet _? Do you lack the_ stamen _-a to keep up?” Their cheeks bulged, Sans was on the ropes now. Time to finish them by going full meta. “How about a joke: Why are kleptomaniacs bad at puns? Because they take everything literally!”_

_That actually earned a belly laugh out of the skeleton. Once he broke the dam Chara could not keep it in any longer themself and doubled over, clutching their sides. They were both immobilized with laughing spasms for nearly a minute, for each time they were about to calm down they would look at each other and start howling again. Sans pantomimed wiping a tear from his eye. “Alright, you got me. I lost. That doesn’t happen often. You’re okay, human.”_

_Chara’s face was starting to hurt from smiling. “It’s Chara,” they said with a slight blush. “I am Chara, Sans.”_

* * *

Frisk complained, “How did I let you talk me into this? Papyrus’ idea of making friends is to give people puzzles and then fight them. If Undyne fights me again I’m gonna die.”

“It’s going to be fine,” Chara said, pumping their arms in excitement. “It’s going to be great, even! You’ll win her over with your natural charm and be awesome friends in no time. I’m sure nothing at all will go wrong.”

“Uh-HUH.” Frisk crossed their arms. “And this has nothing at all to do with your crush on her.”

That brought Chara up short. “Wh-What?! I don’t… Look, I admire Undyne, but that’s as far as it goes. Did you forget? I can’t feel love, I don’t think I can even _have_ crushes.” Frisk did not seem convinced by this but they did not offer a counterargument. When they reached the chamber with the central pool Frisk’s posture shifted noticeably; they went from tentative and cautious to determined and impatient. The waves of anxiety coming off them vanished as well. Chara did not bring attention to it, but they were starting to become concerned. These sudden mood swings were starting to be a habit and nothing destroyed Chara’s peace of mind like a loss of stability.

Papyrus was waiting in front of Undyne’s house, or what Chara had to assume was Undyne’s house. It was shaped like a giant angry fish head, the door placed where the teeth would be. A cacophonous piano melody rang through the air, one sour note after another. The player was attempting to substitute passion for skill, not knowing the conversion rate was rather dismal. Papyrus was waiting in front of the house, waving. “Yoo-hoo! You came! I’ve got a great plan to make Frisk and Undyne friends, almost as great friends as we all are! Oh, but I’m sorry to leave you out, Chara. Undyne can’t see you.”

“That’s okay,” Chara said. “In situations like these I prefer being a wallflower. I’ll be satisfied being friends with Undyne vicariously. So you ready for this, Frisk?” Frisk nodded.

“Great!” Papyrus handed Frisk a bone with a red bow tied to it. “Be sure to give her this. She loves these!” Frisk accepted the bone and hid it behind their back while Papyrus knocked at the door. The piano playing stopped suddenly. A moment later the doors slid into the top and bottom of the frame.

Undyne leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed. “There you are, Papyrus. So, are you ready for your extra-private, one-on-one training?” Coming from anyone else that choice of words would have sounded flirtatious, maybe even sultry, but Undyne’s delivery robbed the question of any undertones it may have otherwise had.

“You bet I am!” Papyrus said, shifting to the side to let Undyne see Frisk. “And I brought a friend!”

“You made other friends?” Undyne smiled widely. “Good for you! It’s great to see you expand your circle of acquaintances, I was starting to worry. Oh, sorry Papyrus’ friend, I didn’t mean to ignore-” Undyne finally shifted her attention to Frisk and her grin gained a rictus quality. Frisk smiled back and gave her a tiny wave. Undyne glared at Papyrus out of the corner of her good eye and said through clenched teeth, “Why don’t. You two. Come in?” She left the door open and stepped back into the house, clearly unwilling to turn their back on Frisk. Papyrus was practically giddy as they entered, chanting, “It’s working, it’s working!” while shaking their fists in excitement. Frisk followed him inside.

The house was much neater and nicer than Chara expected. The main area was open concept, with the kitchen flowing seamlessly into the dining room and the piano off to the side. The table was small and very low to the ground; there was only one seat, and it seemed more like a pillow with a backrest than an actual chair. A sword nearly twice as long as Frisk was tall occupied the far corner near the fridge. The kitchen was surprisingly well-furnished, with an extra long countertop neatly bisected by the full-size oven.

The mistress of the house stared at Frisk with their arms folded, still scowling. Frisk held out the bone Papyrus gave them with a bashful smile. “I brought you a gift.”

Undyne side-eyed Papyrus as she took the giftwrapped bone. “Uh, thanks. I’ll put it with the others.” She opened up a drawer and dropped the bone in; it made a rattling sound like it was hitting a gross of other bones. “I guess the… guest can watch while you’re in training, just so long as they don’t bother us.”

“OH!” Papyrus slapped their forehead. “Silly me, I double-booked myself! I’m scheduled to go to the bathroom right now! You two have fun without me!” With that he launched himself out the window with a crash. Chara was the only one who reacted with appropriate shock and disbelief; Undyne and Frisk just watched him go with blank expressions, then turned to stare at each other.

“So,” Undyne snarled. “What really brings you here? Come to rub your victory in my face? To humiliate me even further? Is that it?!” Frisk shook their head. “Then what are you doing here? Wait, don’t tell me… you’re here to do your little goody-two-shoes shtick and be my friend, right?” Frisk nodded. Undyne’s voice rose to a falsetto as they replied, “Oh happy day, just what I’ve always wanted! A little destroyer of hopes and dreams to frolic in the fields of friendship with!… _Not!_ ” She bent at the waist to put her face inches from Frisk’s. “Listen here, punk. Just because you beat me doesn’t mean I’m going to like you. If you weren’t my guest I’d beat you up right now. Get this through your skull: I will _never_ be your friend. Now get out of my house!”

“Dang!” Papyrus popped up from the window, snapping his fingers. He had been eavesdropping? “Sorry, human. I thought Undyne would be friends with you… but I guess I overestimated her. She’s just not up to the challenge. Such a shame…”

“ _What_ did you just say?!” Undyne screeched, but Papyrus had already ducked underneath the window again and disappeared. “Why you- How dare he insult me like that! So he thinks I can’t be friends with you, does he? Well I’ll show him!”

Chara tapped their chin, grinning with clear pride and admiration. “See? Papyrus is a lot more clever than he lets on.”

Frisk did not react, they merely allowed Undyne to seat them at the table. Undyne allowed Frisk to take the cushioned seat, saying, “Anything for my precious _friend_!” Undyne’s grin was ear to ear and the last word was strained through her teeth. Her face reminded Chara of a bratty kid whose parents just told them to smile for the cameraman. “Let me get you something to drink! Pick anything you like.” She set a number of cartons, boxes, and containers on the counter.

Frisk made no movement to get up, instead pointing towards the boxes. “Golden flower tea, please.”

Chara did not know you could make tea out of golden flowers. They thought they knew everything about them. But if Undyne had golden flower tea that would be the blatantly correct choice. But how did Frisk read the tea boxes from all the way over there? No, wait a second here, how did they read at all? There was no way Frisk could have known what kind of tea was available without leaving their seat. So how…?

Undyne set to work making the tea, still wearing the too-friendly smile. Within moments she had returned with two cups of tea, thin wisps of steam rising from each. She placed one cup in front of Frisk and retreated to the opposite side of the table. She curled up her legs underneath her and sat on the back of her ankles, putting her at just the right height to sit at the table comfortably. Frisk blew on their tea to cool it down before taking a sip. “It’s burning…” Chara said as their tongue cried out in pain. “Other than that, it’s pretty good.”

“You know,” Undyne said, turning their tea cup. “It’s kinda strange you chose that tea. It’s Asgore’s favorite kind, too.” Chara winced. Of course it would be. “You remind me a lot of him, you know? You’re both kinda quiet, but you have this… dignity about you. You’re both really fast. And let’s not forget, you’re both total weenies!” She laughed uproariously at that, either not noticing or not caring Frisk was not joining in her laughter. “I tried to fight Asgore once, back when I was still a fry. I couldn’t lay a hand on him. You wouldn’t think someone so huge could move like that! I almost melted from trying so hard.”

Chara flinched. Did she say “melted”? Undyne… did she have meltdown? If she did, it was either the most mild case they ever heard of or she was much better at managing her symptoms than Sans was.

Undyne barreled on, oblivious to Chara’s concern. “After that he started training me. It took me years before I could even knock him down. And that’s how I became head of the Royal Guard!”

Frisk got a strange look on their face. “I’m sorry, Undyne. You’d been looking forward to fighting a human and I…”

Undyne scratched her chin. “Honestly, yeah, it was a little disappointing. I was hoping to clash against you with all my might. No holds barred, sudden death, two-person-enter-one-person-leave. A true battle to the death! Instead you blocked everything I threw at you and ran away. After hyping myself up for so long it was kind of a letdown.”

Frisk gingerly sipped their tea. “I’d have fought back and not felt bad about it if monsters would get a little bloody and sore. But I… heard, that if a human hits a monster with anger or hate, they could die. I’m not a killer. Don’t wanna be.”

Undyne pursed her lips and “pffffffft!”ed loudly, waving her hand in a dismissive gesture. “Come on punk, did you really think you could kill me?!”

Frisk looked at her evenly. “Wasn’t gonna risk it.” They quickly changed the subject, “So if you’re the head of the Royal Guard, why won’t you let Papyrus in?” Undyne’s smile faded. “Oh, uh, I mean… I fought him so I know he’s not weak. If he learned to fight he’d be super strong. So why don’t you? It would mean so much to him.”

Undyne swirled the tea around in her cup, watching it slosh around the edges. “Well, you’re probably too young to really understand this, but… if he became part of the Royal Guard there would be times he’d be expected to kill. It’s the nature of the work. And I don’t just mean humans, either; we go after monsters too when we have to. But killing another person, even if it’s for a good reason, it changes you. It doesn’t have to destroy you, but you can’t go back to how you were before. And if I let him join the Guard and trained him seriously, he would have to make that choice. Either he would get killed by someone who meant him and his loved ones harm, or he would kill and start chipping away at his niceness. Then someday I would wake up and the bubbly, happy Papyrus I knew before… he would be gone. There’d be something that looked the same but much colder in his place. It would ruin everything that makes him so great, and it would be all my fault.” She took another sip of her tea for a break in the conversation.

LOVE. That was what she was talking about. Each act of cruelty made it easier and easier to commit further acts of cruelty. When you had enough LOVE you could do terrible things to other people and not feel bad about it at all. Chara had heard about it once upon a time but had not really paid too much attention to the exact phrasing. There was no need to. To Chara the most important difference between humans and monsters is that monsters needed a complicated metaphor to understand what humans knew instinctively: that anyone can become strong if they prey on those weaker than them.

“So I’ve been trying to get Papyrus interested in other things so he can make something of his life,” Undyne continued. “I tried teaching him piano but he never really got into it. He and his brother make a pretty good singing pair though, you should see ‘em at karaoke night! So far the only thing he’s taken a shine to is cooking. He said he read somewhere the best way to make friends is by giving them good food, so he wants to be a master chef.”

Frisk nodded. “Not a bad idea.”

The cup of tea stopped halfway to Undyne’s lips as her eyes became vacant. “Wait just a darn minute. Papyrus, his cooking lesson… that’s supposed to be right now!” She stood so fast her knees flipped up the table. Frisk barely managed to rescue their tea. Undyne swept the drinks from the counter with a wave of their arm, sending them crashing, spilling, and splattering to the floor. “I just got a great idea, punk. Nothing has brought Papyrus and I closer than cooking. So if I give you his lesson, we’ll become closer than ever. We might even become… _besties_.” Only Undyne could make that sound like a threat. She strode over and grabbed Frisk by the top of their head and leapt from one end of the house to another.

“First,” Undyne said. “We make the sauce!” She arranged a few vegetables on the countertop. “Now! Envision these vegetables as your greatest enemy! Pound them to dust with your fists!”

Chara was fairly sure this was not the correct way to prepare sauce, but Frisk was fully into it. They let loose a loud kiai and struck with a fearsome left straight. “You punch the vegetables with all your might,” Chara narrated, unimpressed. “You knock over a tomato.”

“Yeah! YE~AH!” Undyne cried out. “Now it’s my turn!” With a single punch the vegetables were reduced to a reddish-orange splatter on the wall, counter, and their faces. “Oh. We’ll uh, scrape this into a bowl later. But now, we prepare the noodles!” She sidled over. “Put the noodles in the pot.”

Frisk bellowed a war cry and tossed the noodles in, including the box. “The noodles clang against the empty bottom,” Chara warned, though it seemed to fall on deaf ears.

“Now we stir!” Undyne said, vibrating with excitement. They did not even give Frisk a chance to contribute, instead summoning a magic spear to stab the pot and its content viciously. “And now for the final step: turn up the heat!” Frisk carefully reached over and turned the knob controlling the heating element on the stovetop. A gentle flame roared to life underneath the pot and they exhaled with relief. Undyne, however, scoffed. “C’mon, punk, we were doing so well! Don’t lose your nerve at the last minute!” She gave the knob a hearty twist, then a second, third, fourth, fifth…! The flame was a towering inferno, leaving scorch marks on the ceiling. Frisk grimaced and backed away from the counter. Undyne laughed, “You see? _This_ is how you-” The rest of her sentence was drowned out by a roar of light, sound, and heat as the stove exploded.

When Chara was able to see again the house was a shambles. Flames danced everywhere and smoke poured out the broken windows. The pasta, of course, was beyond saving. But somehow, miraculously, Frisk and Undyne were both more or less okay.

“Undyne.” Frisk took a calming breath. “Does this happen every time you cook?”

She looked away and scratched her head. “Man, no wonder Papyrus sucks at cooking. I thought mastering green magic was supposed to make you good in the kitchen?” Chara squeezed the bridge of their nose: no Undyne, that’s backwards. Green magic does not make you better in the home, domestic people tend to learn green magic because it’s useful for healing minor scrapes and cuts as well as giving kids time-outs. “I’m sorry, punk. I really screwed this up. Maybe Papyrus was right and I can’t be friends with you. Some people just… don’t get along. But you know what? That’s okay. Because if we aren’t friends…” Undyne pulled out a spear and expanded her magic field. “It means I can destroy you without regret!”

“Really?!” Frisk looked at her incredulously as their soul appeared. “Here? NOW?!”

“I’ll even let you get the first shot!” Undyne taunted. “Come on, one final match, all out on both sides! Hit me as hard as you can!”

Frisk bared their teeth with no curve in their lips and reflexively took a step backward. Ah, Chara had been wondering where their fear had gone. “This time,” they whispered in their ear. “Don’t hold anything back!” Frisk screwed up their face and charged at Undyne, their left hand raised high in a fist. Undyne stood in a wide stance, spear at the ready, head down to take Frisk’s attack directly in the face. Frisk’s punch-

Tapped against Undyne’s cheek lightly. Her smile was frozen in shock. Frisk shook in panic, head down so they did not see the moment of impact. After a breath they tilted their head up to look at Undyne. Relief washed over them when they saw Undyne was practically unharmed.

“… what.” Undyne’s snarl faded. “You… really don’t possess any desire to hurt me, huh? Well, you know what?” Undyne dropped her spear. “I don’t really want to hurt you either. That punch just now showed me your true feelings. You’re not a wimpy loser.” She grinned wide. “You’re a wimpy loser with a big heart!”

Frisk stood up straight. “Undyne?” The fish lady made an affirmative grunt. “We are friends now, right? So… will you let me tell you my name?”

Undyne’s expression faltered. She turned away, eye downcast. “Listen, punk. It’s… that’s kind of a mean thing to ask.” She rubbed the back of her neck as she sighed. “You probably heard this if you’re asking me, but I told the other members of the Royal Guard not to let you tell them your name either. Maybe they cut you off, or changed the subject real quick. It’s not an easy thing to talk about, but it’s my order so I should be the one to explain.” She knelt down to look at Frisk eye to eye and put a comforting hand on their shoulder. “You see, any human that falls down here… they have to die. That’s by the command of the king. No one can overrule him.”

Frisk protested, “But that can’t be what he wants! Everyone says the king is too nice to-”

Undyne cut them off, “I know that. I know it better than anyone else. Asgore formed the Royal Guard because he doesn’t actually want to hurt anyone. He made this unit to do the things he can’t bring himself to do. But it’s his duty as a king to follow through and obtain freedom for his people. The average monster doesn’t even know what a human looks like. The ones that recognize you’re human…” She closed her eye to take a breath. When she opened it again there was a sadness there, though Undyne would not allow herself to cry. “They know you’re about to die. Whether it’s by the Royal Guard, or the King himself, or even just a random monster, you’re going to be killed very soon. Even if you avoid that you’ll escape through the barrier and back to the surface world. Either way no one down here will ever see you again. So they… well, _we_ don’t want to get attached. It will be easier for us to forget you and move on if you’re not a person, not a name. Just the eighth human and nothing more than that.”

Silence. Chara hugged themselves. They had expected something like that, to be honest. But to just outright tell the kid nobody wants to know their name because they were expecting to never see them again…?

Undyne finished, “If you still want me to know your name, punk, I’ll listen.” It was clear by her tone of voice this was not something she really wanted to do.

Frisk smiled. “That’s okay. I unnerstand, Undyne, I don’t want to make things hard on you. But when we meet again on the surface, that’s when I’ll tell you my name.”

Undyne stared. Then she was laughing so hard she clutched her sides and crumpled up, but was somehow able to stay standing. She wiped a tear from her eye and smiled wide in pure glee. “Yeah, I love that kind of confidence! Alright, you’ve graduated from ‘punk’. You’re ‘kid’ now! And when you bust open the barrier and get us to the surface, I’ll call you by your name! That’s a promise!” She picked up Frisk under their arms and held them in place while she noogied them. “Though I don’t understand for a moment how you plan to free all the monsters when you’re so _weeeaaaaak!_ ” Chara winced; she was really digging in! But Frisk squealed and laughed, taking the noogie with good humor. “Anyway, let’s get the hell out of this burning house!” And with that she leapt, not out the window or the door, but straight through the wall, Frisk in tow.

* * *

Undyne abandoned her house and told Frisk she would be crashing on Papyrus’ couch until the fire died down. One would think in a place called Waterfall it would not be so hard to put out a house fire, but Undyne explained she had repeated mishaps like this multiple times and the house would not burn down completely.

“Thank you for making nice with her,” Chara said, tapping their fingers together. “I know that must have been tough for you, after all the times she tried to kill you.”

Frisk shook their head. “No, it was fun. Undyne’s nicer than she pretends to be. I think…” They paused to grasp for the word. “I think she doesn’t know how to make friends. Like Papyrus. Like me. Like you.”

Chara had no response to that. “I was a little surprised to find out you were the first human she had ever fought. I mean, six kids have died, right? She did say that. But… even if she says it, I can’t imagine Asgore killing humans. I just can’t.”

Frisk stopped mid-stride. They tapped their fingers against their thigh in thought. “… She said I was the eighth human…?” They looked at their hands and held out eight fingers. They put six of them back down, then pointed to themself and knocked down another one. They stared down at their one remaining finger. Then they lifted their head and pointed at Chara, like they had just figured something out.

Chara swallowed and looked away. “I never heard of any humans falling down before me,” Chara said. “So I guess I would have been the first. And the next six… all died and had their souls taken.”

Frisk nodded but said nothing else. Emphasis had been placed on the critical question, the one Chara had been wondering about since they woke up: What had happened between the time Chara died and the next human fell to make the monsters change their attitude towards humanity?

They would reach the castle soon. There they would get their answer, for better or worse.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chara’s virtues, from highest to lowest, are Love>Integrity>Justice>Bravery>Perseverance>Kindness>Patience. For the record Frisk’s are Love>Bravery>Kindness>Patience>Perseverance>Justice>Integrity. Frisk’s spread is more even than Chara’s; Chara’s Kindness is lower than Frisk’s Integrity, but Chara’s Justice is about the same as Frisk’s Bravery. Their Love is roughly equal.  
> There is no evidence to suggest Goner Kid is related in any way to Gaster (in fact their sprites are listed in the code as ‘goner_kid’ whereas the other Fun sprites are named ‘gaster_follower1/2/3’, implying they are not related to Gaster), but the GK character came to me and I decided to run with it.  
> An astute reader will notice Chara’s examination does not reveal how much Determination they have. This is intentional; Dr. Alphys will not isolate and discover DT until years after Gaster is gone, so Gaster has no way of knowing it exists and no way to test for it in Chara’s time. Does it irritate anyone else how Fanon!Gaster steals all the credit for Alphys’ accomplishments? Because it irritates me.


	12. Road to Stardom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a star is born.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to explain the scientific principles in the flashback as best I could, but it’s tough when neither the monsters nor Chara would recognize the human term involved and I can’t use visual aids. If you really don’t understand what Toriel is saying, google “Leidenfrost effect” for a primer on it.

_Toriel made pancakes the morning before and had tested the pan by flinging droplets of water onto it. She explained to Chara that if a pan is too hot the water will evaporate immediately, and if it’s too cold the water will sizzle and also disappear quickly. But if the temperature is just right the water touching the pan will evaporate instantly, forming a cushion of air for the rest of the water to hover on. This causes the droplets to slide around the pan like figure skaters and persist much longer than normal. As it turned out this temperature was also the perfect temperature to cook pancakes at, she finished her explanation happily. Chara’s mind, meanwhile, had been set in motion. It was possible to make water slide across a surface very quickly, like a hovercraft, using this principle. Water was unsafe to stand on, but ice was thick and it was just cold water. So wouldn’t it be possible to turn a large enough block of ice into a vehicle by heating the underside to reduce friction to nearly zero? Chara conjured up crazy thought experiments and clever plans, but was far too timid and afraid of punishment to seriously pursue them. Asriel was energetic and easily motivated to do anything which sounded fun, but lacked the imagination to think of any but the most simple of pranks. But put them together and… well, that was how things like Operation Fire Sled happened._

“ _Oh man, this is going to be great!” Asriel said. Chara nodded as they hammered two iron loops into opposite sides of the massive ice block to secure the reins. The cube was twice as tall as they were, though it had been even bigger than that when they started. It took a bit of time to snag one of the blocks of ice on its way to the CORE and bring it here, to the top of one of Hotland’s slopes, and it had lost some of its mass in transit. Luckily, as it melted the water made it easier to push along to its destination. They never could have managed getting it this far without Asriel and his gravity magic making it just light enough for two children to shove it along. He chewed on a candy to recover his strength; he would need to add fire magic to the gravity magic to complete his task. Chara finished their work and tossed the reins up to the top of the block so they would have some way to steer. Asriel gave Chara a boost to the top and then Chara helped them up. They sat in between his stretched legs, their back to his stomach and his head on their shoulder. The contact made Chara itch but they were going to have to endure it; there was no other safe way for both of them to be on top of the ice cube. “I’m about to start the fire magic,” Asriel warned. “Ready?”_

_Chara nodded and waved a hand under their nose. “Ready. But try to breathe that way, your breath stinks. Did you have to take the licorice candies?”_

“ _I like licorice!”_

_They sighed in mock exasperation but let their disdain go with nothing more than, “You’re so weird, Ree.” Now was not the time to have this argument again. They gave the reins a flick, like they were telling their sled dogs to mush._

_Asriel took the hint and set his fire just underneath the ice block. His magic heated the underside of the block evenly, so now he just had to get the temperature right. Not too hot, and not too cold. After a few moments of trial-and-error the block went the last few critical inches before it was on the slope and beginning its descent. Chara bounced excitedly as the ice sled picked up speed. Asriel wrapped his arms around their waist while maintaining the fire. “It’s working!” Asriel shouted. “It’s working!” Both of them started giggling and laughing as the cube scooted along._

_They had checked the slope before for obstacles and foot traffic; luckily this was a somewhat out-of-the-way area so most people never came here. There were a few people walking but they stuck to the edges, leaving a clear lane down the middle for the two kids to speed down on. They were picking up speed now, faster and faster, the wind rippling through Chara’s short hair and Asriel’s fur. Chara spotted a sizable rock in their path: it was too small to stop them but it would still cause a nasty bump. They tugged lightly on the reins to correct their course. The result of this would have been obvious if either of them had understood how reins actually worked. Instead of turning the cube began to spin, slowly at first but faster and faster as Chara began pulling ever more desperately. The world became a series of horizontal blurs as they spun too fast to see anything, and their ice sled continued gaining speed. “Chara!” Asriel shouted. “Do something!”_

_Chara tugged on the reins harder and protested, “I am!”_

“ _Then do something else!”_

_They hit the rock and their ride bumped, but they were still spinning and still going faster. At this rate they might get seriously hurt if they ran into something. They had to hit the… brakes! They knew they had forgotten something! They could not steer and they could not slow down. So Chara screamed. Asriel joined them in yelling and squeezed Chara tightly. It was at this moment Asriel lost the grip on their magic. The ice cube dropped and skidded against the ground, friction preventing the cube from sliding. But momentum could not be stopped so easily, and what will not slide will flip. Chara and Asriel were airborne, head over heels like a bicyclist who just ran into a mailbox. The cube bounced and rolled down the incline, an oversize die tumbling to its doom at the lava far below. Chara and Asriel landed with an “oomph!” and rolled several feet to a stop. A few of the passerby huddled around them, concerned._

_Asriel recovered first, groaning as they pulled themself onto their elbows. Their head wobbled and their eyes were crossed. They crawled over to where Chara lay. “Ow… You okay?”_

“ _Yeah,” Chara coughed. They were sore all over and dizzy besides, but it was nothing compared to when they fell into the Underground. They sat up to reassure their friend. “What about you?”_

“ _I’m fine,” Asriel said, leaking trace amounts of dust from a few superficial scratches on their arms. They sat up too. “But Chara, you were supposed to steer us! I was already handling both fire and gravity magic at the same time, I can’t do everything!”_

“ _I’m sorry,” Chara said. “The reins didn’t work… I tried to turn and we just spun instead. I think next time we’ll have to-”_

“ _A-HEM!”_

_They both winced as they turned to the source of the sound. Toriel was standing behind them, arms folded and tapping her foot with a stern look on her face. She had clearly passed through the “panic” and “relief” stages of parental discipline unseen and only made her presence known once she had arrived at the “you damn kids” phase. It was an admirable display of sibling-like solidarity when, as the prospect of Toriel’s wrath loomed ominously over them, both managed to stay silent for precisely three seconds before pointing at the other and saying in unison, ““It was his/their idea.””_

* * *

Hotland lived up to its name. Frisk had barely walked ten feet in and sweat was already forming on their brow. They frowned at the guards posted on the main route, directing all foot traffic away from the elevators. So they took out their phone and called their new friend. “Undyne, there’s a couple guards posted in front of the elelators. Could you tell them to move out of the way so we can-” Frisk stopped speaking as Undyne’s voice came out of the other end of the receiver. They nodded once, then twice as Undyne explained something. When she finished their jaw dropped.

Chara asked, “What’s the problem?”

Frisk hastily covered up the receiver on their phone. “She says they’ll think I used my human mind control powers on her and won’t do what she says.”

“Mind control? I know I’ve been dead a while but… can humans really do that now?”

“Of course not! She thinks humans can take over peoples minds by kissing them.”

Chara could have sworn they heard something like that before, but where? “This is ridiculous, but I guess it can’t be helped. We’ll have to take the long way.” Which meant going through the lab, which meant running into Dr. Gaster without Asgore’s calming influence. Chara had never really liked Gaster. One would think they would get along since they shared the same morbid and irreverent sense of humor, but Chara always got the impression that Gaster was not joking so much as he laughed to make you think he was joking. They distinctly remembered Gaster saying once that he wanted Chara’s soul and only refrained because he was told not to take it. Maybe Gaster was what happened to the other six humans.

The laboratory doors opened as Frisk approached, a cool blast of air hitting them in the face as they did so. “Air conditioning!” Chara rejoiced as Frisk practically dived in. It felt like the layer of sweat on Frisk’s skin was turning to ice, but Chara did not mind the cold this time. “Oh, that feels good.” Frisk nodded in agreement. The doors slammed shut behind them, and only now did they notice the lights were still off. A row of monitors bathed the room in a dim glow, but what was on them was disconcerting. It looked like various parts of the Underground on the monitors, readouts from security cameras in Snowdin, Waterfall, Hotland, and several other locations. Then there was one from the lab itself, showing a human child in a blue-and-purple striped shirt looking from one monitor to another. “It’s you…?”

Chara heard an audible click and a steady hum, followed a moment later by the soft fluorescent lights turning on. A lizard monster in a labcoat waddled into the room and recoiled on seeing Frisk. “Oh no, you’re here already?! I-I-I thought I had more time! The lab is a mess, I haven’t showered, I still haven’t finished writing the conclusion yet, and-” The monster continued to mumble and ran to one section of clutter, suddenly remembered some other section of the lab looked even worse, and repeated this process several times to expend a lot of time and effort while getting nothing done.

Chara raised an eyebrow. “A scientist, I guess,” they said with a shrug. “Not one I recognize. Must be the new intern.” Frisk patiently waited while the monster calmed down, which took a moment.

The scientist looked at them again. “Oh, sorry about that. I g-get a little worked up sometimes. A-Anyways, I’m the Royal Scientist, Dr. Alphys. U-um! I use she/her.”

Wait, _what_?! Dr. Gaster was many things, among them “micromanaging”. Chara found it hard to believe Gaster would let his successor be appointed without a heavy hand in the selection process, and he would not choose someone as… scatterbrained as Dr. Alphys. Although this was probably a good thing for them, as no matter how bad Alphys was they could not possibly be as dangerous as Doctor Wing Din Gaster.

Frisk offered a handshake to Dr. Alphys. “Hello doctor. I’m the human. They/them.” Wow, really? Chara guessed after what happened with Monster Kid that Frisk wanted to be upfront about who they were. That explained it, but it did not excuse it.

“I know!” Alphys said, accepting the handshake. Her hand was clammy despite the rigorously controlled temperature of the lab. “I’ve been sort of… watching you on the monitors. Your fights, your friendships… Oh, but don’t worry! I-I’m not one of the ‘bad guys’! In fact, I want to help you!”

Frisk tilted their head to one side. “You… want to help me?”

“Right! I mean, I suppose originally it was supposed to be my job to stop you, but… watching someone’s struggles on the screen, it makes you want to see them succeed, you know! So even though the elevators are being weird right now, I can guide you through the puzzles and to Asgore’s castle, no problem!” She paused as her smile became strained. “Well, m-maybe one problem. You see, I got my job as Royal Scientist by making a robot. Originally he was supposed to be an entertainment robot, a TV star. And he’s been doing very well at that! But I recently tried to make him more useful by adding… you know… anti-human c-combat features?” Frisk looked at her dubiously. “Of course when I saw you coming and started empathizing with you, I decided I needed to remove those features right away! However, I may have made a teensy mistake while doing so, and now he might possibly… be an unstoppable killing machine with a thirst for human blood?” Chara slapped their forehead. Oh for the love of… It could never be simple, could it? “But hopefully, we won’t run into him!”

Frisk put a finger up to their lips and shushed them with barely constrained dismay. “Don’t say that! You’ll janx it!”

“Jinx,” Chara corrected. Frisk did not have the chance to correct themself, however, as a loud bang reverberated through the lab. “Please tell me that’s one of Alphys’ experiments exploding and not what I think it is.” More bangs sounded out, each one louder than the one before. Someone was striking something with enough force to shake the floor!

“Oh no,” Alphys said, covering her head as the wall next to her exploded outward. “It’s Mettaton!”

“O~H YE~S!” A metal rectangle rolled into the room through the smoke and debris. It had numerous lights and dials along its front face and propelled itself across the floor by a single unicycle wheel attached to its underside. “It’s Mettaton!” The voice came from the rectangle, a smooth tenor with a showman’s pizazz and a too-crisp quality you could only get from a digital source. As it (he?) introduced himself the lighting in the laboratory became much more colorful and vibrant, painting the walls in a dizzying rainbow of reds, blues, and greens of all shades. “Goooood evening beauties and gentlebeauties! Don’t touch that dial, viewers, because you’re just in time for today’s quiz show! And today we have a very special, once in a lifetime contestant: the human! Let’s give them a big hand!” The lights dimmed just so a spotlight could be shone directly on Frisk; even with their closed eyelids they had to put up a hand to shield themself from the intense glare. Canned cheers and clapping played from somewhere to give the feeling of a live studio audience, even though there were only three people and one ghost in the lab.

“Well isn’t he obnoxious,” Chara grumbled. “Still, if he just wants to play a game with you that’s a lot better than the alternatives. Might as well play along. It could be fun!” Frisk nodded in agreement.

“Of course,” Mettaton added conspiratorially. “They really might be a once in a lifetime contestant. Because in this game, you answer correctly… or you die!”

“Sorry,” Chara said with a groan as Frisk’s red soul appeared. “Spoke too soon.” Hey wait, the robot had a magic field? How on earth did robots work, anyway?

A hidden trapdoor opened up just in front of Frisk and a stand popped up. The video screen on the stand blinked to life as Mettaton began, “Let’s start with an easy one! What is the prize for answering correctly?”

The potential answers showed up on Frisk’s screen and they blanched. Oooooooh crap, they could not read any of this. Chara started reading aloud as fast as they could, “Um, the choices are A) Money, B) Mercy, C) A car, or D)-”

“Is it B, Mercy?” Frisk asked hopefully.

An angry buzzer sounded and a streak of lightning flew from Mettaton’s fingertip, striking Frisk between the eyes. Chara felt a shiver go through them as electricity coursed through Frisk’s body. “Ha ha ha, you wish!” Mettaton taunted. “The answer was obviously D) More Questions!”

“You can’t take many more hits like that,” Chara said as Frisk woozily gripped the stand for support. The zap had made their legs wobbly and filled their head with cotton and lead. “And don’t even think about fighting, his metal body makes him invulnerable to attack.” This was going to be tough… something told them Mettaton was not going to play fair with his questions, and if getting zapped was the penalty for a wrong answer it was only a matter of time before Mettaton stopped playing around and shot Frisk in the soul. While Mettaton preened for the cameras Frisk tried waving their arm to get Alphys’ attention. They made a few rapid motions with their hands and looked meaningfully at the Royal Scientist. She sucked in air and nodded, giving them a thumbs-up. What? What was happening? Chara was certain they had missed something.

“Even though you got it wrong, here’s your terrific prize!” Mettaton switched cards and read, “What is the full name of the king of the Underground?”

Frisk at least knew this one. “King Asgore Dreemurr.” Confetti fell on them as a bell indicated a correct answer.

“Correct!” Mettaton said, sounding genuinely happy. “What a terrific answer! But let’s talk about me. What are robots made of?”

Frisk shifted their head slightly to look at… Alphys? She was waving her hands around in some complex patterns of gestures. Chara blinked: those looked like the hand signs Dr. Gaster used. After a moment Frisk answered with full confidence, “Metal and magic.” Alright, from among the choices presented it was feasible to work out what the answer was. Or at least it would be if Frisk had given Chara time to read them aloud. Because unless something drastic had changed Frisk still could not read.

“Too easy for you?” Mettaton taunted. “Here’s another easy one.” He took a deep breath and in a squeaky and high pitched voice recited, “TwotrainsTrainAandTrainBsimultaneouslydepartStationAandStationBrespectively. StationAandStationBareexactly252.5milesapartfrom-” Everything after that was gibberish. Chara’s jaw dropped. How in the world was an elementary schooler supposed to-?!

Alphys waved their hands a bit more. The moment Mettaton finished reading the question Frisk said, “Thirty two point zero five eight minutes.” They were rewarded with more bells. Okay, nope, Chara was calling shenanigans. The kid was definitely cheating. Alphys’ signals were telling Frisk the answers. But how? How could they have possibly worked out that system in advance?

If Mettaton suspected foul play he did not let it show in his voice. “Amazing! Folks, I’m as astounded as you. And now for our next question!” The robot pulled the microphone close to himself and began reading. “Human, would you smooch… a ghost?”

Chara’s face scrunched up like they smelled something bad. “What kind of question is that?”

Without waiting for a signal from Alphys Frisk answered with a thumbs-up and an exuberant, “Heck yeah!”

Chara physically recoiled in terrified suspicion. “Why such an enthusiastic response?” A series of bells rang out, increasing their discomfort. “ _How is that correct?!_ ”

“Brilliant! I love that answer!” Mettaton gushed. “Moving right along…”

Chara covered their beet-red face with their hands, their hair frazzled and forehead sweating as they mumbled “what is happening what is happening what is happening” over and over again. Luckily Frisk had all the help they needed with Alphys giving them the answers, because Chara was not going to be of any assistance.

It took a few more questions for Mettaton to catch on. “Alphys,” he said, turning his body. “You aren’t… helping our contestant, are you? Wonderful! You should have said something earlier. This time, I’ll ask a question you’re sure to know the answer to. All right human, for the game and your continued survival, _who_ , does Doctor Alphys have a crush on?”

Frisk bit their lower lip in concentration. Alphys waved her arms frantically, imploring them not to say anything at all. “Is it… me?”

The silence stretched on for five full seconds before Mettaton broke it with a breathless, “… Wow. You’re really quite conceited, aren’t you…? _I LOVE IT!_ ” The canned cheers and applause filled the air once more. “And while you are completely wrong, there might be something there after all. She’s been watching you this whole time. Laughing when you succeed, shrieking when you fail, giving advice and encouragement to the figure on the screen… is this not a form of love? Soooo I suppose I can give you partial credit. You may live for now. But! We will be back with more! More Drama, More Romance, More Bloodshed! So stay tuned, darlings!” With that Mettaton retracted their wheel into their body and replaced it with a booster rocket, flying away trailing a stream of smoke.

Okay. So that is a thing that actually happened. Even for the Underground that was bizarre. Already the entire episode seemed surreal, like a dream or an acid trip. Or was Chara just dissociating again? It felt similar so they could not be sure. Frisk was taking the whole thing in stride. “I would have been in big trouble without you,” they said to Alphys. “Thanks, Alphys.”

“Oh, uh, it was nothing. I thought I was going to have to make the letters with my hands. I guess it’s just, uh, lucky you knew sign, uh…” She left the space open for Frisk to provide their name but they did not step in to fill it. The silence grew awkwardly. “Um… do you have a name sign?”

Frisk shook their head. “Not yet. I wasn’t good friends with a lot of hard of hearing people before, and it’s rude to pick your own if you aren’t HOH yourself. Besides, someone told me it would be mean to tell you my name right now.”

Alphys accepted this calmly. “That sounds like Undyne. Oh! I forgot to watch, how did your fight with her go?”

“We’re friends now!” Frisk flashed a peace sign with their hands. “Hey! We should be friends too! It would be nice to make a friend without having to fight them first.”

The doctor wrung her hands nervously. “Oh! R-right! So, um, let’s swap phone numbers. That was we can text each other any time.” Alphys was about to pull out her phone but stopped and grimaced on seeing Frisk’s phone. “What in the- that model’s ancient! It doesn’t even have texting! Well that won’t do at all, you’re eligible for an upgrade! Let me see that for a minute.” Frisk handed the phone over without a word and Alphys took it to her workbench. Her hands moved with practiced speed and accuracy, cracking open the phone’s case and swapping out components like second nature. Even Chara was impressed; before this they had sort of doubted whether she was really the Royal Scientist, but seeing her in action left no room for doubt. In less time than it would have taken for Chara to figure out how to dial a number, Alphys had finished her work, snapped the phone together, and handed it back to Frisk. “I included texting, box technology, and a few other special features. I also set up a profile for you on Undernet, the Underground’s premier social networking site… and, uh, I also made us friends there. I hope you don’t mind…?”

Any fears that Alphys may have overstepped her bounds dissipated with Frisk’s smile. “Not at all! That really helps me out, thank you!”

“Great! That’s, uh, great.” Alphys licked her lips and her smile slowly faded away as the silence stretched out. She brushed some imaginary dirt off her lab coat and coughed. “I… Um, I have to go to the bathroom.” She retreated through a doorway and further into the lab, the metal doors slamming shut after her.

Frisk tucked their new phone away. “I guess we should get moving?” They walked out the opposite side of the lab, back into the oppressive heat.

Chara bit their lip and turned their head away. “Um, Frisk? About that… question back there…?”

“Oh!” Frisk said, rubbing the back of their neck. “I don’t know why I thought Alphys might have a crush on me. That was pretty silly, huh?”

“Well, yes… I mean no! I mean…” They struggled for the words but it was hopeless. “Never mind.” Frisk must not have meant anything special by it. That was just the way they were. But why should they feel embarrassed about a human flirting with them anyway?! They were too young to be worried about romance, especially with a human of all things! True, Frisk was different from most humans, but just because they were the only human they felt something other than searing contempt for did not mean they had to date them. Besides, they were dead. Incorporeal, even! If they did not have a physical body how could they ever be expected to sm… smoo… _smooooooo-_

“Chara?” Frisk was looking at them strangely. “Are you alright? You’ve been mumbling for a while.”

Oh geez, they had gotten completely lost in their own headspace. “I. Am. Fine.”

A pause. Then Frisk beamed at them. “Your eyes get so intense when you’re thinking hard about something. It’s kinda cute!”

Chara hid a blushing face behind their hands again. “A-A-A-Are you doing this on purpose?!”

“What? No! I didn’t mean to make you upset! Whatever it is I’m doing, I’ll stop. I… just wanted to say something nice. I really do like the way your eyes look.”

Chara took a few deep breaths and looked out from between their fingers. “No, I’m sorry for overreacting. It’s just, you’re the first human who’s ever told me they liked my eyes.”

Frisk nodded in deep understanding. Frisk also had red irises. It was only coming to the underground that changed their face so could see through their eyelids and hid them from view. On that at least they could relate to each other. “So the monsters liked them?”

“Most of them didn’t know what human eyes are supposed to look like. They had no frame of reference so I couldn’t really trust their judgment. But yeah. I used to keep my hair long to hide them on the surface, but after a while of living here I had my bangs cut because there was no need to be scared anymore. If you opened your eyes I think the monsters would like yours too.”

Frisk’s eyebrows jerked up suddenly as they wrestled with their own face. They went back down and up a few times before Frisk took a deep breath and… opened their eyes a tiny crack. They still looked kind of sleepy and unaware, but a sliver of red peeked out from behind the lids. “Is this working?” they asked.

“A little. I think you’ll want to practice in front of a mirror to get the look right.”

Frisk nodded and shut their eyes again. Chara knew Frisk was thinking the exact same thought they were: ‘If we live long enough to ever find a mirror again.’

* * *

The monsters in Hotland were more numerous than ever, but strangely a much smaller percentage of them were hostile. Most of them were just workers or students trying to get to the capital for class or work, and the reactivated puzzles and the elevators being down were as much of a problem for them as they were for Frisk and Chara. Parts of the walkway were missing or in disrepair; steam vents had been set up to propel passers-by from one section of Hotland to another. The monsters did not dare ride them, figuring the elevators would be working again soon enough and they were certainly not going to risk their lives to save a few minutes. But Frisk was in a hurry, and they seemed oblivious to how dangerous the steam vents really were. They launched themself through the air, giggling and laughing the whole while. Speaking of puzzles, Chara finally got to flex their mental muscles for the first time since the bridge seed rooms in Waterfall. They were on an electronic screen but they were not timed or fast-moving so Chara had no trouble walking Frisk through the steps to solving them. Chara was a bit irritated that none of the other monsters loitering around had even tried solving them; did life in the city destroy people’s appreciation for puzzles? What a sad state of affairs.

Frisk walked into a building where all the lights were off. Their shoes tapped and echoed against the tiled floor, but the tiny sliver of light from the door could not penetrate the darkness. Frisk had been about to pull out their phone to use as a flashlight when it suddenly rang. “H-Hi!” Alphys said. “It’s me again. You’re someplace really dark, huh? Let me see if I can hack into the electrical grid to shed some light on the subject…” Suddenly the lights came on and Chara gasped. They were standing in the middle of a large and well-furnished kitchen. Directly in front of them was an audience of several dozen people, who started cheering the moment they laid eyes on Frisk. Between Frisk and the audience were several monster crew members behind video cameras, adjusting boom mics, and adjusting lights. Chara could hear Alphys cringe. “Oh no.”

“OHHHHHH YEEEEEEES!” Mettaton rolled in from the side, blowing kisses to the audience. “It’s time once again for a brand new program, ‘Cooking With a Killer Robot!’ I’m your host, the irrepressible Mettaton! And with me today is our lovely assistant, the human! Everyone give them a big hand!” The studio audience cheered and clapped, and Frisk waved back shyly. “Today we’re going to make… a cake. A classic recipe, old as dirt and always popular! Let’s get started right away! The first step is to gather the ingredients. We’ll need eggs, milk, and flour to start with… Assistant, go get those and bring them here, chop chop!”

Chara squeezed their arm tightly and their throat constricted. They got Frisk’s attention with a harsh “pssst!” and told them, “I’m… I’m not good with baking. You’ll be okay without my help for this part, right?”

* * *

_Today was going to be a big day, possibly the biggest and most important day of their life. Everything had to go perfectly. It had to be today, when Toriel and Asgore were both out of New Home on business. First, Chara would secretly bake a pie with Asriel’s help. Chara would put all their love into it and show everyone how much they cared about this family. They would give it to Asgore. And then they would accept his offer. They were going to officially join the Dreemurr family. They would not be just Chara anymore, but Chara Dreemurr. Chara Dreemurr._

_(it hurts)_

_They mentally ticked off each item on the list as they pulled ingredients from the fridge. Once they had amassed a decent-sized pile they went over the list again line by line and comparing it to their spoils. Hm, that was odd. Something was missing. They opened the fridge again and moved cartons and containers around, hoping the missing item had hidden behind something. “Butter, butter… crap, we’re out of butter.”_

_Asriel gasped. “Chara! Language!”_

“ _Sorry. But what are we going to do? We can’t bake a pie without butter.”_

_Asriel shrugged. “We’re going to have to make something else, or tell Mom to pick up some more.”_

“ _This pie is Dad’s favorite, we can’t make anything else. And if we tell Mom it will ruin the surprise.” Chara fiddled with their necklace, reading over the recipe again. There had to be a solution. There had to be- “Oh! It asks for ‘cups of butter’, so… do you suppose buttercups would work instead?”_

_Asriel’s face scrunched up. “That’s a pretty weak pun, even for you.”_

“ _No, I’m serious. Why else would they call them ‘buttercups’? It only makes sense, right?” Asriel nodded at this line of reasoning. “I suppose we’ll need a couple handfuls or so… I feel bad taking them from Asgore’s garden but there are so many there he probably won’t notice.”_

_It would be a lie to say the rest of the baking session proceeded without incident. Chara felt almost embarrassed offering their misshapen, blackened mess to Asgore, but he accepted it with a smile and a word of thanks. His face scrunched up on his first bite, but he lied and said it was delicious to try and spare Chara’s feelings. It sort of worked; at least they could tell he recognized the tender feelings they baked into it. Chara was right about to broach the important subject when Asgore fell to the table face forward, gagging. Toriel screamed, Asriel cried, and Chara’s speech died in their throat. Asgore was whisked off to his room, and Toriel ministered to his sudden illness. The pie was left on the dining room table, untouched except for the one slice cut out which Asgore ate completely. Toriel was too busy, and neither of the kids felt hungry anymore. Instead they waited at the dining room table, Asriel’s head down and Chara tracing the stain lines in the wood._

_It was some time before they heard the door at the opposite end of the hall close and Toriel’s padded footsteps toward them. Chara timed the length of the stride and the speed of the steps. Her steps were slow; if Asgore’s recovery had been miraculous she would have been rushing to tell them, so the news was not good. The footfalls were not heavy with grief, so the worst had not happened. The steps were too steady and rhythmic, so she must have taken some time in Asgore’s room to get her emotions under control. That was a bad sign._

_When Toriel entered the room Asriel asked immediately, “Is Dad going to be okay?”_

_Toriel nodded, though without much confidence. “Green magic can heal wounds but it can do nothing about illnesses. But Asgore is large, and strong, and healthy. If we can somehow make it through the next few hours, I believe he will make a full recovery.” She took a breath to steady her nerves. “Asriel, Chara. He became ill immediately after finishing his food. Please understand, I am not angry with you. But I need you to tell me how you baked that pie. Go over it step by step, exactly as you made it. Omit nothing.”_

_Chara and Asriel looked at each other, each silently agreeing that this was mostly Chara’s plan so they needed to be the one to comply. Chara licked their lips; no matter what Toriel might say or promise they knew they were in trouble. “We… got the recipe from your cookbook. Just like you taught us, I read the whole thing before starting anything. I checked the ingredient list and made sure I understood what we needed and how much of each. We got butterscotch, flour, brown sugar, and cinnamon from the cupboard. Oh, and the salt and corn starch too. Then we got the milk and eggs from the fridge. We couldn’t find the butter, so we used buttercups from the garden instea-”_

_Toriel’s horrified shriek told them exactly what they did wrong. She knelt down so she could look Chara in the eyes. “Children,” she said, swallowing hard. “Those flowers, buttercups, are poisonous. You could get very sick or even die by eating them. It was fortunate you burnt the pie; heat weakens the poison, so it was not as dangerous as it could have been. You must be very careful about making substitutions when cooking or baking, and stick exactly to the recipe as written until you understand the dish. Do you understand?”_

_Chara should have noticed the consistency of the pie shell was not coming out right. They should have noticed the smell. They really should have examined those blisters on their hands more carefully and connected their appearance with handling the flowers. But they did not do any of those things. It was hardly the only mistake they made, either; there was a gap between the top of the crust and the filling, they forgot to drop the temperature halfway through, and they left the pie in the oven for too long. But all of those other mistakes would have rendered the pie merely unpalatable. This was not on the same scale as pranking the mailman or even taking a dangerous sled ride on an ice cube down Hotland. Their carelessness nearly murdered their best friend’s dad. “Oh, how silly of me,” Chara said, giggling nervously. “That was my fault. I really wanted to make that pie because it’s his favorite and I wasn’t going to let a lack of butter disappoint him, ha ha. I certainly did not mean any harm but… such a foolish mistake. Hee hee, and now Asgore almost died because of me.” Toriel gave them a strange and faintly horrified look. Asriel bowed his head, tears falling freely from his eyes. Chara kept laughing and laughing until tears streamed down their face. They tilted their head back and laughed uproariously like they had never heard anything funnier in their life._

_Chara Dreemurr. What a joke._

* * *

Frisk tried to force a smile, but all their enthusiasm had been drained away. They mechanically picked up the ingredients lying nearby and had to have Mettaton remind them to hold the items up so the camera could capture the MTT brand logo on the front of each package. When they had gathered all the ingredients Mettaton boomed, “Let’s all give a warm round of applause to our wonderful assistant. They try so hard to- wait just a magnificent moment! It seems we’ve forgotten the most important ingredient! That’s quite an oversight, but don’t worry folks! We have everything we need right here. The final ingredient for our cake is…” A loud mechanical braying filled the air as Mettaton pulled a chainsaw out from below the counter and turned to Frisk, all his front lights glowing blood red. “ _A human soul!_ ”

“Run for it!” Chara shouted. Frisk leapt backward just as the chainsaw swiped at them, missing by inches. “That’s not a magic weapon,” Chara said. “It’s a real chainsaw, so don’t try to sacrifice a limb to keep it from hitting your soul. It will kill you no matter where it lands!” Chara looked to the sides of the stage, but force fields had been erected to prevent anyone from walking off the set during filming. What were they going to do?!

The robot recovered from his swing and brandished the chainsaw. “Now now, darling, let’s not fight. The sponsors wouldn’t like it if we used up our time slot because you put up too much of a struggle!” He held the chainsaw over his head just as the sound of a ringing telephone echoed out even over the sound of the chainsaw. “And would you look at that, we have our first caller. And I mean ever, because this is not a call-in show!” He cut off power to his weapon and pointed at one of the cameras. “Hello you’re on the air, please make it quick we’re kind of in the middle of something.”

“Um!” Alphys’ voice echoed through the studio. “You know, y-y-you don’t have to use fresh human soul. Most of the audience isn’t going to have that lying around. Couldn’t you use a… well, a um…”

“A substitution, you say?” Mettaton provided, prompting an affirmative sound from Alphys. Mettaton made a “hm” sound and tapped his fingers together. “What a great idea! We expect no less from the brilliant Dr. Alphys. Yes, our viewers probably don’t have human soul lying around, so we mustn’t leave them out in the cold! It just so happens we have a can of MTT-brand 100% certified natural human soul substitute right here in the studio. It’s right at the top of that cabinet, why not let our lovely assistant get it?” He pointed up at a cabinet several stories tall. It stretched to the ceiling, towering over the rest of the studio. “Oh, and we need it within the next 60 seconds. We’re on a strict time schedule, so if you can’t get it fast we’ll have to go back to the original plan. Better start climbing, darling!”

Frisk craned their neck back to stare up at the massive structure. “That’s… I can’t. There’s no way…”

Just at that moment Frisk’s phone rang; Chara informed them Alphys was calling. They picked it up and her voice came out, “Okay, I know this looks bad, but don’t worry! I’m punching through a command to activate some of your phone’s special features. Check this out!” The cell phone unfolded in their hands, revealing booster rockets, a clip to latch onto the belt loop on the back of their shorts, and straps to loop around their shoulders. “It’s a jetpack! You should have just enough fuel to reach the top.”

It was like Christmas came early. Frisk snapped the phone into place on the back of their pants and slipped their arms through the straps, bouncing with excitement. As soon as they had finished the rockets roared to life, sending Frisk airborne. There was no way Chara could float that fast; they were pushed and flattened against the border of how far they could go from Frisk, unable to so much as lift their head for the ten seconds it took Frisk to reach the top. Frisk snagged the can with a whoop and a cheer and automatically the jetpack throttled to bring Frisk gently down back to the studio floor.

Chara floated up to Frisk, arms crossed. Frisk could only shrug. “Sorry, I got a little carried away.”

“It’s fine,” Chara said, looking away. “I don’t have lungs to squeeze or bones to break, so if I get dragged someplace it’s just uncomfortable, not dangerous. Anyway, something stinks about this. It becomes absolutely imperative that we go very high very fast, and it _just so happens_ that our scientist friend included a _jetpack_ _option_ in our new phone. That doesn’t strike you as a bit contrived? Too convenient?”

“I can think of a lot of times where a jetpack would be useful. Aren’t you the one always telling me I need to trust monsters more?”

Chara was forced to concede the point. “Okay, I admit this _is_ pretty awesome.” The thought occurred to Chara that they might use the jetpack to skip the rest of Hotland instead and just zoom straight to the castle. Some quick mental calculations told them this would not work; there could not be much fuel in the jetpack and there was too much of a risk of running out over lava. Besides, it seemed Alphys was the one steering and they had no way to convince her to change course.

Frisk landed and held forth the can triumphantly. “Incredible!” Mettaton gushed. “You actually managed to get it with the help of Dr. Alphys. Boy, I hate to imagine what would have happened without her around! Alright! Now that we have our ingredients, let’s start baking! First we put in the sugar and the butter and mix them together…”

The rest of the cooking program was uneventful. Mettaton was using a beginner recipe, but that meant Frisk could follow along easily. They broke the eggs, mixed the batter, and even greased the pan. Mettaton, of course, handled the oven and the explanations, but without saying a word Frisk still managed to capture the hearts of the studio audience. Chara, for their part, could not help noticing the “human soul substitute” smelled strongly of vanilla. After putting the cake in the oven Mettaton produced a cake which had been made and frosted beforehand since the cake would take 40 minutes to finish. Frisk was a little disappointed they would not be able to eat the cake they helped make. Mettaton leaned over to whisper, “You don’t need to worry, this cake is perfectly safe to eat. I would never poison anyone; I might be a homicidal robot, darling, but it would be a public relations disaster for my food to kill anyone.” Frisk took a bite and made a soft “mmmm!” of appreciation. Even Chara had to admit it was not bad; not up to Toriel’s standards, but that was probably too high of a hurdle for anyone to clear.

“The human loves it!” Mettaton shouted to the general acclaim of the audience. “That’s all the time we have for today. Tune in next time for even more of the MTT you crave!” The audience gave one final cheer, the lights dimmed, and the show was over. Mettaton bowed to Frisk. “Great show out there, you’re a natural at this. If things were different you could be a star, maybe even as popular as me! But alas, you will have to die in our next segment. It’s always tragic to see such a bright future snuffed out.” He sighed. “Oh well. See you then, darling!” And with that he rolled away.

“He’s not wrong,” Chara concurred as they stepped out of the studio and back into Hotland proper, talking as Frisk walked. “I noticed it during the stage show with Shyren in Waterfall. You practically glow in front of people. Not like me at all. Believe it or not I was a pretty quiet and introverted child. If I knew there was a camera on me and hundreds of people watching I’d freeze up completely. I could never be a star like you.”

The child gave them a funny look. “But you’re already a star. You’re even named after one.”

Chara blinked. “You’re right. Ha, I didn’t even notice that. Nice catch. But he’s wrong about you dying. You and me, we’ll find a way to make sure you survive all his tricks.”

“Alphys too.”

Chara’s smile became slightly more strained. “Yes. And Alphys will help too.” They caught something out of the corner of their eye. “Frisk, look.”

Frisk turned to where Chara was pointing. “Woah…”

In the distance a massive metal structure loomed against the cavern wall. It was a tower that seemed to rise up from somewhere underneath the lava. A hodgepodge of pipes and shafts and vents covered the structure with no clearly discernible pattern, as though built by slapping additional components on when and where they were needed with no aesthetic plan or even a set of blueprints. “That’s the CORE,” Chara explained. “It’s the single greatest technological marvel the Underground ever produced. The finishing touches had not been made yet when I died, but the hope was that it would convert geothermal energy into magical energy and provide enough power to keep the Underground running indefinitely. The ominous structure fills you with determination.”

And there was another of Frisk’s mood swings. Chara was starting to notice they usually coincided with Frisk feeling especially determined, though they had yet to figure out what the connection might be. Frisk turned sharply away from Chara and their shoulders trembled. “Is the heat finally getting to you?” Chara asked. “Where is the Nice Cream seller when you really need him?” Frisk did not reply. Their inhalations became sharp and quick, fear steadily rising up the emotional link between them and Chara. Something had them downright spooked. Could Chara have set off one of their triggers accidentally, the way the sound of a running bathtub faucet or having their head underwater always made Chara freak out? “Frisk, is something bothering you? Is there anything I can-”

Wait. Something did not sound right here, and not in the usual sense of ‘sometimes the way Frisk acts makes no sense’. What Frisk said a moment ago… it was not wrong, except in the sense there was no way Frisk should have been able to make the connection they did. “Hey Frisk. Just now you said I was named after a star.” Chara took a calming breath that somehow managed to sound like a whetstone sharpening an executioner’s axe. “How did you know there’s a star called ‘Chara’?”

Frisk licked their lips and clasped their hands. They were squeezing very hard. “U-um. Well.”

Now that they knew they were onto something Chara floated around to look Frisk in the eye; Frisk quickly turned away again. “Don’t tell me you already knew that before you fell down. You’ve admitted you aren’t good in school. And even if you had shown some interest or aptitude in astronomy _which you haven’t_ , I doubt Canes Venatici is among the constellations taught in an elementary school curriculum. So how did you know ‘Chara’ was the name of a star, and how did you know that’s where I got my name?”

“D-Does it really matter?” Frisk said with a nervous laugh. “I just… I knew. I’d heard it someplace, I don’t remember where.”

Chara rubbed their locket as they gazed into the middle distance. That had not been the only strange thing. Frisk took the friendship headbutt completely in stride, not questioning what it was or what it meant for even a moment. They assumed, without any foreknowledge, that Doctor Alphys would know sign language. It was part of the legacy of Dr. Gaster that all scientists knew sign, but they had never told Frisk that. Even though Frisk asked about Asriel in Waterfall, they had seemed almost bored when Chara told them about him. Almost as if they knew all of it already. And just a little while ago, during the cooking show! They had seemed excited at first, then deflated suddenly for no reason. They kept looking over at Chara as though they wanted to say something or offer some sort of comfort. Despite Chara’s best efforts, they seemed to know exactly how and why baking dredged up some bad memories in Chara, and at just the moment those memories came to Chara. It was all too perfect to be a coincidence.

Chara could never accept themself if they were a parasite. Whenever they took, they had to give. Even if it ended disastrously like their plan with Asriel, they had to do something to pay back what they took from others. They were not allowed to accept gifts or assume there was no _quid_ to any _pro quo_. This semblance of life Chara enjoyed was entirely due to Frisk. Not only that but they experienced Frisk’s sensations; their pain, their emotions, what they saw and touched and smelled and ate. Chara was taking all that from Frisk. So what was flowing down the other lane? What was Frisk getting from Chara? “Frisk.” Chara tried to keep the outrage out of their voice, but it was hard. After all, if they were right then Frisk had been keeping something very important from Chara during their entire trek so far. They had been violating their innermost and most precious secrets and smiling as though nothing was wrong. But that was only if they were right. Even though the guilty and scared look on Frisk’s face answered their question before they even asked it, they had to reserve judgment until they heard it from their lips. After everything Frisk at least deserved the benefit of the doubt. Chara took a shaky breath. “Have you been seeing my memories?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, Operation Fire Sled is the Chara & Asriel flashback I had the most fun writing for this entire fic so far. Not really sure how I’m ever going to top it.  
> I’ve been trying to keep shipping out of this fic as much as possible; Chara and Frisk are too young and their mental spaces are in too much turmoil to seriously consider romance. Frisk does not mean anything by flirting with Chara during/after the quiz show and it will not amount to anything in this fic. But I confess: in my heart I am Charisk trash, and I had to leave it in.  
> Normally I hate ending a chapter on a cliffhanger, but this chapter was getting long and there wasn't a good place to end it earlier. Sorry about that folks, this will be resolved next week!


	13. Feeling the Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which amazing magic is used.

_Chara rubbed the sleep out of their eyes and sat up in bed to stretch. They noticed Asriel’s bed was empty and he was not in the room. Asriel normally woke up before Chara did, since they needed so much more time lying quietly in bed to bring their stress level low enough to actually sleep. But usually he would be playing quietly or reading over a book, staying in the room until Chara got up too. He said it was because he wanted to take his time before leaving, but they both knew it was because Chara got nervous if they woke up alone. Like now. They carefully slipped out of bed without making a sound, pulling the sheets back up afterward. It only took them a moment to get dressed, one of the benefits of all their shirts being the same._

_Next part of the morning routine was brushing their teeth at the kitchen sink. Chara’s dental health had gotten much better since they came to the Underground. Chara suspected this was because of a lack of sugar in the monster diet; most people had no access to it at all and even the royal family was miserly with it. Chocolate was saved for rare occasions, typically celebrations for a job well done or a consolation for something terrible happening. They liked chocolate as much as any kid, but they loved what it represented more than the actual taste. Chocolate meant ‘Everything is going to be okay’. Once they had brushed their teeth they made their way toward the living room, where more often than not Toriel was just finishing preparing something tasty for breakfast. Maybe Asriel was there already._

_On their way through the entrance hallway they finally saw him. Asriel stood with his hands clasped behind his back just in front of the stairs toward the throne room, looking idly at the ceiling. He did not seem to be playing any kind of game or doing anything, just… standing there, like a guard. He noticed Chara’s approach and smiled nervously. “Good morning Chara!” He said it a little too loud, his head tilting so most of the sound went behind him. “It seems you’re awake and coming this way!”_

_Chara raised an eyebrow. “Are you feeling okay Ree? You seem a little weird this morning, even for you.”_

_Asriel put his hands on his hips and puffed out his chest. “Of course! Never better! But there is something I wanted to show you. Come on!” His paw grabbed at the air, his way of asking permission to take their hand. Some days Chara would not let anyone touch them, and other days even full body contact would not be enough to set them off. Today was an average day, they would be okay with holding hands or a pat on the shoulder but a hug would be too much. Chara put their hand in his and was pulled down the hallway. “Oh, but you have to close your eyes.”_

_Chara gave them a sidelong glare. “You want to show me something, but I have to close my eyes to see it.”_

“ _Just do it!”_

_Chara sighed but complied, letting Asriel lead them along to the living room. They heard shuffling, and rummaging, and even a little giggling. What were they up to? “Okay,” Asriel finally said. “You can open your eyes now.”_

_They did so._

_The dining room had been transformed. Multicolored balloons filled every corner. A large banner hung from the ceiling, reading “Happy Birthday Chara!” with each letter being a different color. Asgore and Toriel stood at the opposite end of the room, arms open wide and faces beaming. Sans sat at the table facing them in a white and blue striped shirt and a grin on his face. All of them, including Asriel next to them, all shouted “SURPRISE!” in unison._

“ _Wh-what?!” Chara’s shoulders and legs tensed, adrenaline flooding their system in preparation for a fight or flight. Chara was not good with surprises. It had taken some time for their reflexes to dull to the point where they would not freak out if a plate was set down a little too hard. Even though they were only in their house for a few years Those People (as they had taken to calling the people they stayed with on the surface) had ingrained many bad habits into Chara’s psyche. Among other things it made them fluent in the language of annoyed gestures, as sometimes the only warning you got before all hell broke loose was a facial twitch or the way a bag of groceries rustled. All this was not something they could explain to the Dreemurrs. Unless you had lived through it there was no way to understand how someone could fold a sock at you angrily._

“ _Happy birthday, Chara!” Toriel said, approaching them slowly, sensing their surprise was not wholly appreciated. “We know you don’t remember when your birthday is, but it’s not right for a child to grow up without a day to call their own. Asriel gave us the idea to treat today as one. Do you know what today is, Chara? It’s the day Asriel found you and brought you to us. So from now on we’ll treat today, June 24th, as your birthday.”_

_June 24, huh? So they had been in the Underground a full year starting today. One day was as good as the next. Chara put a hand to their chest and took a few deep breaths to calm themself. “Y-You shouldn’t have. But if you all want to celebrate something like that, I won’t stop you.”_

_Asriel bounced in place. “So can I give them their present now?” Toriel nodded and Asriel whooped as they pulled a small box with yellow wrapping paper and a red bow tied around it._

“ _You even got me gifts?” Chara bit their lower lip. “Is… isn’t that a little much…?”_

“ _Don’t look at me,” Sans waved. “I was only told about this yesterday so I didn’t have time to get you anything. Hey, instead I’ll just tell you some of the hilarious jokes I’ve heard since the last time we talked.”_

_Chara perked up, but Asriel stuck out their tongue. “Mooooooom, do we have to?”_

“ _If that’s what Chara wants,” she playfully admonished him. “This is their special day.”_

_Asriel groaned but it looked like he was going to acquiesce. He held the box, which fit neatly in the palm of his hand, out toward the human. “Here you are, Chara! I thought real hard about what to get you so I hope you like it.”_

_They shook their head. “I… I can’t accept this. I didn’t get you anything for_ your _birthday…”_

“ _That’s okay!” Asriel said with a giggle. “I’ve got it covered. Just open it and you’ll see!”_

_Chara took a deep breath. They untied the ribbon and peeled back the wrapping paper, careful not to put a single rip into the fragile covering. Asriel was shivering in anticipation, but Chara was unhurried. It was sort of funny to watch his patience tested. At last the box was free. Chara opened the lid and peered inside, where-_

_(it hurts it hurts it hurts_ it hurts it hurts IT HURTS!)

* * *

“Have you been seeing my memories?”

Frisk looked up at them in a panic. “I didn’t mean to!”

Chara felt their fists clench and their eyes blaze. So that was it. They really had been violating Chara’s privacy, their most intimate and precious thoughts and moments. Their stomach churned and they barely resisted an overpowering urge to cover themself with their hands and arms; their clothes might as well have been invisible for how exposed they felt. “Frisk, you had no right to-”

“I know! I’d stop if I could, but I can’t! I, I messed up. I’m sorry. I can’t go back far enough to-”

“Why didn’t you tell me about this before?!”

Frisk screamed, “Because if I told you you’d get mad!”

“Is that really such a surprise?! When were you planning on telling me about all this? Because it’s starting to sound like you weren’t, ever.” Frisk tried to give a response but only half-formed words and grunts came out. “No, you know what? Forget it. It’s my own fault anyway. I don’t know why I expected any different from a human. Let’s… just go. The castle isn’t getting any closer.” They turned their back and floated down the path, only stopping when an invisible wall prevented them from getting more than a few meters from Frisk. Stuck. They could not storm off, or run ahead, or get even a moment’s peace away from the kid. They could not even move from this spot unless Frisk wanted them to.

After a moment Frisk walked past them, their attention focused more on their shoelaces than where they were going. Chara followed along behind. There was nothing else to say.

* * *

The rest of Hotland was a blur. Oh, it was eventful all right. More of the Royal Guard came to stop Frisk. Mettaton made them a correspondent on a news program which quickly devolved into a farce. Various puzzles and laser grids had to be bypassed. But through it all it was Alphys helping Frisk, her calls arriving just in the nick of time to avert disaster. Chara was mostly quiet and pensive, watching Frisk manage one crisis after another. The human similarly had no appetite for the craziness and sleepwalked through the dangers. Frisk managed to find an apron with a heart sewn on the front; they tied it around their neck like a superhero cape but it failed to improve their mood.

Every step and every moment, Frisk’s remorse and shame made itself known through the emotional connection between them. Chara could feel how much Frisk regretted their actions and how badly the coldness between the two of them was hurting. It was unfair. Chara had called them a friend even while Frisk was secretly peeping on their private life. They had every right to be angry. It was mean of Frisk to intrude on that by reminding Chara how much they regretted what they had done.

Although now that they thought of it… did they ever tell Frisk they could feel their emotions? Frisk definitely knew Chara could feel Frisk’s pain and could taste the things they put in their mouth, Chara had already said so. But no, they did not recall telling Frisk even in passing about their emotional leeching. _It doesn’t matter,_ they tried to convince themself. _It’s not the same thing._

Frisk entered a large purple tower Chara did not remember ever seeing before. This was not terribly surprising as they did not come through Hotland often, hijinks with oversized ice cubes notwithstanding. The interior of the tower was dark; no windows allowed any light from outside in, and the few lamps which did decorate the inside were dim. A great many cobwebs filled the air and littered the floor, and strange clicking noises emanated from just outside Frisk’s range of vision.

“Did you hear that?” a tinny voice called out. “That person who was just here offered a lot of money for a human soul.” Frisk and Chara tried to locate the source of the voice, but between the echoes and the darkness it was impossible to tell where it came from.

“I heard!” a different voice called out. “And you know what else? A human is on their way here! They’ll arrive any minute!” Frisk crept along the walkway, hoping against hope the speakers had not realized the human was already there.

A third voice said, “I heard the human hates spiders!” There were gnashing sounds as the voices grumbled and snarled. Other voices joined in: “I heard they like to stomp on them!” “I heard they laugh as they flush spiders down drains!” “Well I heard they like to tear off their legs!” Each accusation was punctuated by a fresh round of jeers.

“Those poor spiders! Who would do such a thing?” Chara pouted, eyeing Frisk in mock-suspicion. Frisk, unfortunately, was in no mood to play along. They were having trouble moving forward; their feet had become stuck to the floor from stepping on so much discarded spider web.

“And worst of all!” This last voice was much louder than the others. The speaker appeared in front of Frisk; she was a spider girl in red outfit with pink pantaloons, a head taller than Frisk. Her five eyes centered on Frisk and she pointed at them dramatically. “They’re very stingy with their money!” Spiders crept forward and backward on the path, they hung from the ceiling, they crawled up from the edge of the platform. The large spider girl expanded her magic field, letting Chara catch her name: Muffet. “Now now, dearie,” Muffet cooed. “You don’t have to feel so blue. Purple is a much better color on you!”

With a snap of her fingers Frisk’s soul changed from a vibrant red to a regal purple. Oh, now _this_ was an interesting spell. Rather than being a purple spell (purple magic being primarily concerned with the transmutation of mass into energy and back again and impossible to use on anything with a soul), it combined blue gravity with red attraction magic. Blue magic was an irresistible force but it was very imprecise. Red magic, on the other hand, could be laser accurate but the pull was much weaker. Gravity could let someone walk on the ceiling while red magic could guide a dart to the center of a bulls-eye. Muffet’s red/blue spell combined the strengths of both while having neither of their weaknesses: it attracted Frisk to the nearest strands of spider web while changing their gravity to pull toward said web. Even a Boss Monster would have some trouble recreating this.

All of that would have gone straight over Frisk’s head and they did not have the time for a treatise on magical theory. So Chara settled for, “You’re wrapped up in a strange purple web. Oh, and incoming spiders.” Dozens of spider-shaped bullets skittered along the strands of the web, tenaciously pursuing Frisk. Frisk bounded from one web to another, their already incredible agility enhanced by the power of the red/blue magic. It was like there were tiny magnets in their shoes and hands, snapping them solidly to any strand they touched. Leaping, bounding, and swinging they managed to stay just ahead of the wave of spiders. Frisk finally reached the wall of the tower and slowed their run, looking for a door or window to escape from. No such luck; spiders approached from every angle, cutting off their escape. “Your gravity will change based on the web you’re standing on,” Chara said. “Don’t limit yourself to two-dimensional thinking.” They flipped around so they were perpendicular to Frisk and put the soles of their shoes against the wall to demonstrate. Frisk looked from the spiders to the wall covered in sticky webs, then planted one foot on the vertical strands. They sucked in air as they took the weight off their back foot, mildly surprised they stuck to the wall like it were the floor. They only had a moment to marvel at their gravity-defying antics before the spiders caught up, and then the chase was on once again. Frisk ran up the wall as effortlessly as if they were on solid ground,

For their part Chara kept an eye on Muffet. She was co-ordinating the attack on Frisk, writing down instructions to her minions regarding what strategies and bullets to try and corner them with. She must have thought Frisk was too busy to notice the notes she passed down and did not bother to hide the large and detailed illustrations of pastry bullets. “They’re going to fire croissants,” Chara warned Frisk. “They’ll return the way they came like boomerangs, so take care not to get hit by them on their return trip.” Frisk made no indication they heard Chara but deftly avoided the spinning crescents. “Donuts next. They bounce off the walls at strange angles. Give them plenty of space.” Frisk performed a backflip to switch their footing from one strand of web to another directly above them; Chara felt Frisk’s stomach lurch as their gravity switched upside down. Their feet had previously been in an easterly direction so now their gravity was… west? It was getting hard to keep track. Muffet’s placement was no help in figuring out where their original gravity was; she hung in a thick web of her own and spun to always face Frisk, possibly in an attempt to further disorient her prey.

Frisk finally reached an open area and the bullets stopped. They caught their breath as Chara tried to decipher Muffet’s latest missive. “Muffin?” they said, frowning. It certainly looked like a muffin, and judging by the horrified gasps of the other spiders this was going to be a bad one. “I’m not sensing anyone preparing any bullets. I really don’t know what kind of attack this is going to-” The web Frisk was standing on wobbled and sagged, as though something large and heavy had just joined them.

“Oh my!” Muffet said with a trill laugh. “Look at how late it’s gotten! It’s dinnertime and I forgot to feed my pet.” A massive set of mandibles as large as Frisk’s entire body emerged from the shadows, followed by a head with eight solid black eyes. Those eyes fixed upon Frisk as the darkness peeled back to reveal the rest of the creature’s body: eight hairy legs protruded from the body to propel the creature forward, attached to an abdomen which looked an awful lot like a muffin. This did little to ease either Frisk or Chara’s mounting fear. Muffet continued, “I should introduce you two… I think you’ll have a lot of fun together!” The spider made an ear-splitting screech and charged. Frisk was already running, making a series of flying leaps from one web to another in an effort to stay just ahead of the rampaging arachnid.

“Run run run!” Chara pleaded, floating next to Frisk. “Get that thing away from us!” It was true that Chara liked spiders, but lots of people liked cats and still would not want to stare down a hungry tiger.

The spider swung one of its massive legs and severed a strand of web Frisk had been about to land on. Frisk went tumbling through the vast expanse until their body neared another web, then their body pitched roughly to the side as their gravity altered to its new axis. It was a good thing Frisk had not eaten anything recently or these high-G escapades would have made them lose their lunch. Chara looked at their surroundings and blanched. The web they were on was covered in spiders, the only bare patch a small circle around where Frisk had fallen. The spiders eyed Frisk hungrily, their front legs waving in the air aggressively, but they made no move to advance.

“You’re still alive?” Muffet descended from a silken thread to hover in the air just above them, giggling. “Oh my, you certainly are a tenacious guest. Come here, everyone! It looks like it’s time for dessert~!” Frisk pulled themself to their hands and knees, but it was clear there was no escape this time. The spiders inched forwards, the circle closing in slowly but inexorably.

“ _Hold everything!_ ” Muffet’s voice rang out and the spiders stopped. “We’ve just received a telegram from the spiders in the Ruins!” The spiders tittered with excitement and lifted their heads to Muffet as her eyes scanned the page. “Oh my! It seems they ran into this same human and they helped donate to our cause!” She lowered herself and leapt down to the web Frisk was on, curtsying to them. “I am so~ sorry about all this! This was all just a big misunderstanding. That person must have been talking about some other human in a striped shirt, right?” She clapped two of her hands together. “Allow us to apologize by treating you to some lovely tea and pastries, our treat!”

Frisk was too dazed to do anything but accept. The magic faded and Frisk’s normal gravity returned, which is when they learned “down” was the direction they were currently facing. They fell directly into Muffet and she wrapped four of her arms around them tightly. “Of course,” she winked coquettishly. “If you’d like to get much friendlier with me I’d have no problem with you staying all night. I’d take my time gobbling you up. Oh, but I shouldn’t. You’re such a busy person. Well…” she breathed into Frisk’s ear, causing all their limbs to lock up. “Maybe just a nibble…”

“Please don’t eat me,” Frisk mewed pathetically. _Seriously,_ Chara thought, _this is a bad time to joke about devouring humans._ (An outside observer would have noted, with an affectionate sigh, that despite their pretenses at maturity Chara and Frisk were kids after all.)

Muffet winked back with a giggle. "Oh, don't worry. I have more self-control than that. Besides, you're much too young, not even out of your stripes! I just thought I'd… leave the door open. Come along, everyone! Let's get them tea and see them to the top of the tower!"

* * *

The tea party was very nice, all things considered. It took place at an elegant table with fine china, all on a thick matting of webs suspended from the ceiling high above. Spiders hoisted the platform up as Frisk and Muffet enjoyed their tea, pulling them to the top of the tower like an elevator. Muffet explained she was the leader of the spiders and was trying to reunite the spider clans. Most spiders left the Ruins long ago to spread to other parts of the Underground, but with all but one route out of the Ruins destroyed there was no way for the spiders left behind to join their brethren. Muffet’s plan was to rent a heated limo to take the spiders through the deadly cold of Snowdin. And if they managed to raise a little extra that could go towards lots of new perks and attractions. Frisk wished them good luck and offered to pay for some of the delectables they ate on the way up, but Muffet insisted Frisk could not afford them.

They exited out the top of the tower and into another darkened area. Chara winced; they had been through this enough times to know another encounter with Mettaton was imminent. Hopefully this would be less crazy than-

Just as they thought this, a spotlight shined directly on Frisk. They shielded their face from the bright glare and looked around; the light allowed them to see they were standing on a stage, with velvet curtains high above and a backdrop of a medieval castle behind them.

“OOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOO!” Mettaton’s voice said something similar to but different from his normal catchphrase. He wheeled in from stage right wearing a smashing white ballroom gown. “The human, my one true love, has appeared! Though they are a balm in this darkest hour… no! For their own safety, I must send them away!” A sad melody played as Mettaton scooted over to Frisk’s side and took the human in his arms. While Mettaton’s singing voice played over the speakers, Mettaton’s actual voice gave them instructions in a whisper: “No, your right hand grips mine and your left goes to my hip. Then where my hip would be! Left-handed? Doesn’t matter, beautiful, it has nothing to do with handedness and everything to do with proper form! Now follow my lead, right foot steps right, left foot steps back. _One_ two three four, _one_ two three four… There, just like that! Now isn’t this lovely, darling?” Though Frisk’s steps were shaky at first, in just a few steps they had picked up the rhythm of the simple step and danced with confidence. “We’re coming to the song’s conclusion, just thrust out your arm and spin me, I’ll take care of the rest.” Frisk did as was told and Mettaton spun luxuriously, his tire leaving tiny black streaks on the floor. They finished with the back of their hand against their forehead, leaning back as if in a swoon.

“Come and weep at our tragedy! Our love can never be, and our unanswered prayers go out to deaf gods. It is so sad!” He sniffled, wiping at his face buttons with a handkerchief before pulling a remote from behind his back. He dropped the melodrama as he finished, “Yep, sure is a shame. Welp, off to the dungeon.” He pressed a button on the remote and trap door opened up directly under Frisk. Chara was pulled behind them as they fell through a series of chutes and slides. After several moments of falling Frisk was deposited onto a platform in a darkened room.

A massive video screen on the wall lit up to reveal Mettaton’s body, still in that dress. “Oh, my poor love!” he lamented. “The human has been sent to the dungeon! The only escape is through a puzzle so dastardly my paramour will surely perish!” More lights came on to reveal the rest of the room: a wide field stretched out in front of Frisk, a finish line set up half a soccer field away. The floor was a wild cascade of multicolored tiles stretched between them and safety. Chara immediately went to work, tracing a path with their eyes while rubbing the edges of their locket. “Egads! It’s the dreaded colored tile maze! Each color has its own sadistic function, which you already know about from when you saw this puzzle in Snowdin and we have to cut to make room for more sponsor messages. Oh, and by the way.” A giant wall of fire erupted behind Frisk. “You have until I finish my song to make it to the end or you fry like a pork sausage. Boo hoo! Boo hoo! Boo-hoo-hoo-hua-hahahahahahaha! I’m so stricken with grief I can’t stop laughing!” At Frisk’s incredulous stare they only said, “Tick tock, darling.” With no further ado he began singing as a digital timer began counting down from thirty.

Frisk looked from Mettaton to the stretch of floor in front of them and back again. “But… I’m only eight. I can’t-”

“Got it!” Chara floated in front of Frisk and waved them on. “Follow me, quick! I think there’s just enough time.”

Frisk followed, not quite understanding and not entirely trusting but heartened by their enthusiasm. Chara’s path seemed erratic and haphazard but Chara’s expression never faltered. Just as Mettaton’s last note was fading they crossed the finish line.

Frisk doubled over to catch their breath while Chara did a victory dance. “Ha! HA! In your _face_! Oooooo wow I haven’t had a puzzle that intense in I don’t even know how long.” They exhaled in great roars of triumph. “You thought I might be rusty after all this time, but I tell you I _still_ got it!”

Mettaton provided a slow clap for their applause. “Not bad, you made it to the end. However, I think you may have forgotten something. You stepped on a green tile on your way to the finish. Do you remember what green tiles do?”

Frisk looked up helplessly. Chara paused in mid-whoop and got a blank look on their face. “Green tiles? I think they…” Their pupils dilated as a terrible thought came to them. “Oh no.”

“OOOOOOOOOH YEEEEEEEES! If you step on a green tile, you’ll have to fight a monster. And that monster… is _me!_ ” The Mettaton on the screen leapt forward; the screen smashed and the real Mettaton jumped through the shattered glass to land in front of Frisk. “Say goodbye, darling!”

Frisk looked to Chara in helpless terror as their soul appeared on their chest. “His metal body is _still_ invulnerable to attack,” Chara said, biting their thumb. What now? Frisk had been keeping themself safe so far from Mettaton’s games, but if he went for the direct approach what could they possibly do.

Frisk’s phone rang. Mettaton stopped his advance and pointed at it. “Is that your phone? You’d better answer it darling!” Frisk obeyed, pulling out their phone without looking away from Mettaton.

“Watch out!” Alphys said on the other end of the line. “I’m hacking into the firewall right- wait, you actually solved the p-puzzle? Oh dear, w-where are we now…?” Frisk heard Alphys shuffling some papers around.

Mettaton tapped his microphone impatiently. “‘There is one last feature-’”

“There is one last feature on your phone!” Alphys said breathlessly. “That might get you out of this! Press the yellow button on your cell phone!” Frisk did so. A rush of energy flowed through them, and when they looked down their soul had changed color to a striking yellow. Transferal magic? Alphys could really easily double-cross Frisk with that, but it was too late to worry about that now. In any case it seems their caution was unneeded, as Alphys really did seem to only care about assisting Frisk. “You can shoot beams of energy by pressing that button on your cell phone! It won’t permanently hurt Mettaton, but you should be able to drive him away!” Frisk nodded and pressed the yellow button again. A bolt of yellow energy flew from the end of the phone and into Mettaton. He dropped his microphone and screamed in agony as he held the point of impact.

“Agh! Unbelievable!” he shouted. “You were stronger than I thought, I can’t believe I could be defeated so easily, etcetera etcetera. Now I will flee for no reason…” Mettaton wheeled away, muttering something under his breath. He did not look particularly defeated, but if he was going away they supposed the details did not really matter.

“You did it!” Alphys shouted as Frisk’s soul disappeared. “I don’t think he’s gone for good… but as long as we’re together he’ll never be able to beat us! Now you just have to get through the Core and you’re safe! I’ll contact you again.” She hung up with a click.

Despite their victory Frisk did not seem terribly pleased. They weighed the cell phone before returning it to their pocket. “Chara?” they asked as they plodded along. “Why do you keep helping me?”

It was the first thing they had said to Chara directly since their fight started, and it was not the question they were expecting. “I thought it was obvious. That was part of our deal.”

Frisk continued pouting. “But you’re mad at me.”

Chara did not deny it. “Irrelevant. I’m not about to break a promise over something as trivial as my hurt feelings.”

The child shook their head. “I still think we should talk. It… it feels bad that we’re fighting and I can’t fix it. I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”

A little late for that, weren’t they? Chara whirled around. “Okay.” Their tone was dangerous. “Then let’s talk about it. I’m willing to believe you when you say you can’t control seeing my memories. If you can’t stop it it wouldn’t be fair to hold it against you. As long as we’re attached neither of us can prevent it from happening. So I’m not happy about it but that’s the way it is. But what really gets me is you staying quiet about it for this long. That tells me you’ll lie to my face if you think the truth will upset me. How many other things are you lying to me about? What else will you decide not to tell me about just to keep me from being mad at you? But I have to be okay with that because I don’t have a choice, do I? I’m completely at your mercy. I can’t split off from you, and even if I could I’d disappear. I can’t affect you in any way, and my conscience won’t let me give you bad advice to get you hurt or killed. I can’t hurt you, I can’t punish you, and I can’t stop you. So whatever happens or whatever you do to me I have to swallow my anger and deal with it.”

Perhaps they had gone a little too far. The child was staring intently at their shoelaces, trembling with tears in the corners of their eyes. Their fist traced tiny circles on their chest. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

Chara clutched at their forehead. “Which memories? How much of my head have you been rummaging around in?”

Frisk could not look them in the eye. “Little pieces. Mostly it’s Az-ree-el. You see something that reminds you of him and it… pops into my head.”

“Anything about how I died, or what led up to it?” Frisk shook their head and Chara relaxed. “If you aren’t seeing anything I really don’t want you to know I may have some unconscious control of what you see and what you don’t.” It was not much, but it was something.

“A-And not all of them. Sometimes they just… stop. I think when something really good is about to happen. One time…” Frisk wrapped their arms around their shoulders and shrank into themself. “It didn’t make sense, but it was scary. In Waterfall, when you told me not to dunk my head.”

Chara squeezed their eyes shut. God damn it. “I’m… sorry you had to see that.” They buried their head in their hands and an irritated sound gurgled out from their throat. While their death was the one thing they absolutely did not want to talk about, their life on the surface was a very close second.

“Um…” Frisk swallowed. “What… what was that-”

“I spent almost two years with Asriel and never talked to them about it. What makes you think you can worm that out of me when we literally met for the first time in the last 24 hours?” Frisk shrank away from their glare. “This is exactly why I didn’t want to talk about my life before I died. It’s because if I did you’d do something stupid like sympathize with me. Let me give you one piece of advice: whatever you do, whatever you see, or whatever you think you understand about my life before I died, _don’t_ feel sorry for me.” The child raised their head, clearly not expecting the tip they received. “What happened to me doesn’t justify anything I did or anything tried to do, and it sure as hell doesn’t make me above the consequences of my actions. I died, I deserved to die, and there’s no good reason I should have been brought back. So stuff your worthless pity, I don’t need it.”

Frisk rubbed their nose and sniffed. “That’s not why I wanted to be your friend,” they said simply. “Not ‘cause I felt bad for you. It’s ‘cause you’re the only person who’s ever tried to help me without… without me doing anything.” They frowned, trying to wrap their tongue around a concept their brain could not express in words.

Chara bailed them out: “You mean, I’m the first person you met who helped you out while expecting nothing in return.” They closed their eyes and took a breath, letting some of their anger melt away. They had trouble doing this while they were alive, but a small mercy about being unable to feel love was the inability to truly experience its close neighbor and counterpart, hate. A part of them wanted to nurture their anger, to cultivate it like a clam cultivates a grain of sand until it formed a lovely pearl. But they could not muster up the effort for it. Thinking about it made them feel empty. “Yeah, I can believe that. I have some experience with being alone. I know what it’s like to feel like there isn’t a single other person in the world looking out for you, and how life-changing it can be to find someone you can trust. I get it. Frisk, I wish I could be to you what Asriel and the Dreemurrs were to me. I wish I could give you the love you so clearly need. But I can’t.”

Frisk kept their head down, expression troubled. “I… I don’t believe that.”

“I _can’t_ feel love. I admit I have some kind of affection for you, in the sense that I’m thankful you’re who you are and not anybody else, but it’s not the same thing. You’re hoping and asking for something I’m not able to provide, and if you don’t realize I can’t give you what you want you’re going to get hurt.” Something bad would happen to Frisk eventually. Chara might not mean it, they might not even consciously do anything, but sooner or later they were going to hurt Frisk terribly. It happened to their mother, it happened to their father, it happened to Asgore, and then it happened to Asriel. Over and over again they brought misfortune into the lives of people they cared about. It was a moment of weakness to call Frisk their friend, and because of that Frisk was doomed.

But Frisk did not understand. They shook their head again in stubborn defiance. “You won’t hurt me, not if I don’t deserve it. You’re not that kind of person.”

It was no use. Try as they might Chara could not defeat Frisk and their optimism. “Well, I can try to dissuade you but I can’t stop you. I… suppose I can treat this as a learning experience for you: I don’t like surprises and I don’t like secrets. So if something else comes up you know to tell me right away.” Frisk winced. Chara felt the bottom drop out of their stomach. “Oh for… there’s something else, isn’t there?”

Frisk nodded. “There is. But… I don’t know how to say it. Do you know about… vee-dee-o games?”

“Not really. Not many video games end up surviving a trip through the river to end up in the dump, and I did not get much of an opportunity to indulge in leisure activity on the surface. Where are you going with this?” Chara held up their hand. “Wait, stop. Forget I asked. I’ll remember you tried to tell me about it earlier, so if it isn’t super important could we take a rain check on whatever conversation we’re about to have? I think I’ve had about all the serious talk I can handle right now.” The buzzing in their head was nearly audible; any more big shocks and they would scream. Frisk nodded, a little reluctantly. “Great. Now let’s figure out what _this_ stupid thing is.”

A tall brick building blocked the way. It would have looked like an office building, except for the brightly lit front and the gold-plated cursive sign above the entryway. It seemed inviting in a gaudy sort of way. Frisk walked through the automatic doors and was immediately swarmed by bellhops and lifted bodily into the hotel. Through the chatter and bustle Chara was able to piece together Frisk was a guest of honor and had been given one night in the suite gratis. No use in turning down free things. They were starting to get a sense of Mettaton’s perverted sense of ethics; he would not kill Frisk unless it was in front of a camera, so there was no danger in accepting a free room at his hotel. Besides, both of them could really use the break.

* * *

One of the hotel works, a cat-like monster in a French maid outfit, offered to take Frisk’s clothes to the in-house laundromat for them. Between the sweat and dirt and grime Frisk’s clothes were starting to reek, so they changed into a MTT-branded terry cloth robe and turned their striped shirt and cargo shorts over. The contents of their pockets were splayed out along one of the end tables. The robe was soft and velvet against Frisk’s skin and they drew a finger across the hems in a slow, calming motion.

On the end table their phone buzzed and danced. Chara pointed out, “Your phone’s been ringing a lot lately.”

Frisk opened up said phone and started flipping through the touchscreen menus. “Alphys keeps texting me. I didn’t want to ask you to read them while you were still mad. Take a look.”

Chara browsed through the messages on the screen quickly. Nearly all of them were made by a user called ‘ALPHYS’ with a garbage can as their avatar. Huh, a first-name username with no numbers. Alphys must have either sniped the username or possibly had a hand in creating the Undernet. After how quickly they upgraded Frisk’s cell phone they figured either was pretty likely. Most of her posts were harmless; photos, anxieties, hobbies. But something terrible caught Chara’s eye. “Ex _-cuse_ me?!” Chara’s smile became very small, and their eyes bulged with suppressed rage.

“Wh-what?”

Chara regarded the phone with utter disdain. “Alphys thinks _Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2_ sucks. And she wrote a 13-post diatribe about it. Open it up, this I have to see.” With trembling fingers Frisk scrolled through the messages Chara indicated and held it up so Chara could read. Chara eyes went back and forth over few lines and they began clawing at the sides of their head. “It ‘ruins Mew’s entire character arc’?! Are you freaking kidding- that’s the whole point! It’s a brilliant deconstruction of not just the original series but the entire magical girl subgenre! I mean yeah you need to watch the original series for the needed backstory but… rrrgh! Text her back! You need to tell her the reveal of Kojima- _kun_ being Devilclair is totally cliche and obvious, and you prefer your shows to have a more complicated moral than ‘mind controlling your friends is bad so maybe don’t do that’.” Frisk shook their head and kept pushing buttons on their phone, clearly having no interest in helping Chara troll by proxy. Chara crossed their arms and pouted. “This is it. We are now entering the Bad Opinion Zone. Population: Dr. Alphys.”

Frisk ignored them. “Hey! We got a friend request! And from the profile picture it’s Napstablook!” Frisk’s face fell. “Oh… it’s already rejected itself.” They mimicked the ghost’s soft spoken ‘Oh no…’ of despair. They plugged the phone into the charging cradle on the end table and flopped onto the bed. It looked almost comical; there was nearly enough room for an entire elementary school classroom on this bed, so Frisk by themself was nearly swallowed up. They looked up at Chara and patted the bed beside them. “Can you sleep here, instead of above me?”

“You know I can’t actually lay on the bed, right? It’s an arbitrary point in space for me, the same as any other.” This did not stop them from shifting their body horizontally and lowering themself to the bed. They laid on their side and propped their head on their hand, elbow phasing slightly into the pillow. “And I disappear when I sleep, anyway, so it’s not like I’m going to really be here.”

“That’s okay,” Frisk said with a smile. They opened their eyes, red irises shining with warmth. “Stay until I fall asleep?”

“No promises,” Chara said. “I’m not a terribly patient person.”

“I know. It was in your membories.” They scratched at their pillow. “Do you think Alphys still has that machine? The one that let people look at your soul? I’d like to see what it says about me. Maybe both of us would show up and she could see something about us. Maybe even give you a body again.” The last sentence went up an octave at the end, as if they were afraid they might have gone too far.

Chara rolled their eyes. “Thanks but no thanks. I made enough of a mess of it the first time, I’m not really in any hurry to try ‘being alive’ again.” They stopped. “Or are you more interested in getting rid of me?”

“N-No!” Frisk sputtered. “That’s not-!”

“Take it easy, I know you didn’t mean it like that.” Chara rolled onto their back and stared at the ceiling. “It’s not fair to ask you to carry my soul around for the rest of your life. You deserve to have your own life without an extra passenger around. I get it. But I don’t think either of us need to worry about that. Ghost monsters are different, but even a kid as sheltered as me knows the rules about human ghosts. They hang around because they have unfinished business. Regrets left behind they can’t let go of. In my case, that’s the barrier. So after you keep your promise and destroy the barrier there won’t be any reason left for me to be here. Once that happens, I don’t think I’ll be able to stay any longer.”

“No!” Frisk shouted. “We just met! I don’t want you to go!”

Chara smiled patiently. “It’ll be alright Frisk. ‘Someday, without fail, everyone will disappear, scattered into the blackness of time.’ I died long before I ever met you. We should treat our meeting as a happy miracle and accept what we get. Asking for more would be too much.”

Frisk stared at their fingers for a long moment. “You quoted something,” they said finally. “I can tell.”

Quoting their favorite book filled them with nostalgia. “ _Kitchen_. The library on the surface had a copy, and I read it over and over again until I could quote from it verbatim. The material was a bit difficult for a seven year old to read, but I put in the effort to power through it. Something about it spoke to me; it was raw and honest. I was amazed at how well it captured how loneliness feels. And… um. Anyway.” They realized they had spoken too much. Any more and memories of the surface would bubble up; Chara did not want to share and Frisk did not deserve to live through any of _that_. They gestured toward the bedside lamp. “Now come on, turn the lights out. We can’t leave until your clothes are finished being washed so get some sleep.”

Frisk looked like they wanted to argue, but the sagging of their face made it clear they’d had enough. With a flick of a switch the room was bathed in darkness. It took only moments before Frisk’s breathing fell into a regular rhythm and slowed. Poor kid was exhausted. And why not? They’d traveled the majority of the Underground in a single day. Looking at them now it was hard to believe this child had managed to do so much in so short a time. They looked like any other child. What gave them that energy? How could they stay so determined after everything that had happened so far and everything that had still yet to happen? Chara could not tell how long they watched Frisk sleep. They stared until their heart hurt. Then they shut their eyes and a cold yet inviting numbness descended on their consciousness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: June 24th is the day the Kickstarter for Undertale went live. In this fic, Chara died on May 23 (the Undertale demo was released on that day), and Frisk falls into the Underground on September 15 (the day of the full release of Undertale). If I keep on this schedule I believe I can finish the canon route of Undertale by the time the anniversary rolls around again. I’m still torn on whether to make the continuation a separate fic to allow people who don’t want to read through the events of the game to skip right to the new stuff, or to keep it as one fic so current readers don’t have to put me on author follow/subscription to continue reading the story. Let me know your thoughts in a review or comment s’il vous plaît. In either case there will be a short waiting period once the events of canon are finished.  
> I know a couple of the transitions here are kind of rough. Last week we had mandatory overtime at work and that seriously cut into how much time I had to write. It doesn’t help that Hotland was and continues to be the arc I have the least material pre-written for but the final product is not any shorter for it. Despite skipping a bunch of material it seems these chapters are just getting longer and longer…


	14. Tour in the CORE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which viewer satisfaction is guaranteed.

_Chara knocked on the door. “Asgore? Are you there?” No response. Good. They pushed open the door and crept into the king’s bedroom. As expected he was not present. Still Chara looked around furtively and stayed on their tip-toes, careful not to make any sound. It was not as though they were not allowed in Asgore’s room. There was not a single place in the castle, or indeed the entire Underground, which was off-limits to them, though if they left the castle someone needed to accompany them to keep them from getting lost. Rather, it was the reason for being in Asgore’s room which gave them the need to be circumspect. The last time they helped Asgore in the garden he had let them use a special tool to dig up some of the weeds. It was a beautiful red dagger, with whorls and eddies on the flat of the blade and the edge still quite sharp despite its obvious age. “Damascus steel”, he called it, though Chara was uncertain what made that different from normal steel. It seemed a shame to use it as a gardening tool; it would not look out of place in a museum, hung next to paintings and sculptures as a masterpiece of craftsmanship. It was that beautiful. The knife was not kept with the rest of the gardening tools, so Chara reasoned Asgore must keep it in his room. They scratched at the scar on their left wrist. They did not have any bad intentions, they wanted to make that perfectly clear. They absolutely did not want to use it on anything. They just… wanted to look at it. To admire it for a little while. Nothing wrong with that, surely._

_They were sure they would recognize the blade if they caught so much as glimpse of it. It must not be kept out in the open. Chara looked under the bed: nothing. The closet? A variety of clothes, including his ceremonial armor and a Santa Claus outfit. No knife, though. They considered raiding the bureau but decided there was no point; Asgore, for all his faults, would recognize what a bad idea it would be to keep a sharp object anywhere one might expect to stick your hand while half-asleep. That left the desk. They should have checked there first, the piles of paper were a complete mess in stark contrast to the tidiness of the rest of the room. If someone wanted to hide something, they would just need to stuff it under the clutter and it would vanish. Chara clambered onto the chair and leaned over the desk, gingerly lifting one piece of paper or another. They seemed to be mostly letters. The primary method of communication in the Underground was by letter. Snowdin’s vast forests provided enough wood for building materials and paper, and only a select few had access to electronic communications. As the king Asgore would of course receive letters from all over the kingdom from those who could not or would not visit the castle in person. It was private correspondence so of course Chara was trying to be very careful and avoid reading any of them._

“a human in the Underground”

_But they were a fast reader and it was hard to shut all of it out. The snippet of a sentence caught their eye. Their hand twitched in shock, sending a stack of the letters off the desk and splattering on the floor. Oh no, they had to put them all back. There was no way they could put them back exactly as they found them, but maybe if they just shoved them back onto the desk at random Asgore would not know the pile had ever been tampered with. They got off the chair and hurriedly looked over the letters. They had every intention of gathering up the mess without reading anything, but one sentence fragment after another jumped into the air and squeezed in through their pupils._

“take their soul” “key to freedom” “are you waiting for?” “Free us” “Kill them” “grant us vengeance”

_Chara shivered as their entire body became very cold. It was true the few times they left the castle, monsters were generally friendly. Most seemed more concerned with how aloof they were than that they were a human. But the monsters had to understand on some level that Chara’s soul was the key to leaving the Underground. Asgore would never allow it, but the solution to so many of their problems was Chara’s death. Even Asgore had to realize someday he would have to get practical and…_

“ _Oh!”_

_Chara recoiled at the voice, trying to put as much distance between themself and the letters as they could. Too much, too fast; the back of their head slammed into the chair and a sharp pain blossomed through their skull. They winced and cried out in pain._

_Asgore opened the door fully and knelt down next to Chara. “Golly, that looks like it hurt. Are you alright?”_

“ _Yeah,” they whined. They opened one eye and remembered their situation. “Um, I wasn’t trying to peek at your things, I just-”_

_His gaze went to the letters and he sighed. He smiled, but it was tight. “Now now, pay them no mind,” Asgore said as he gathered up the fallen letters in his mighty paws. “None of them have ever met you. They do not know what they’re asking, not really.”_

_Chara swallowed. “But… you’re going to have to, someday. It’s not fair for you all to be trapped down here while humans hog the surface for themselves. I’m the only hope you have. So-”_

“ _True, you are the hope of humans and monsters. You will be the key which will unlock a bright future for everyone. But it is much too early for you to be thinking about any of that. You’re still young, and children should enjoy their childhood. Especially in your case, Chara. I do not mean to pry, but some of the things you say and do… well, it seems on the surface you had to grow up too soon. We want to provide you with a chance to simply be a child, and worry only about childish things. A place of warmth, comfort, and safety: it is all we can offer. I hope it is enough.”_

_(it hurts)_

_Chara nodded. “Thank you.”_

_He smiled and dumped the handfuls of letters into the wastebasket. “I’ll bring these down to Hotland later. Tossing them in the lava might be…” He trailed off as if trying to think of an appropriate word._

_Chara offered, “…therapeutic.”_

“ _Ha ha ha, exactly right!” He stood up and offered his hand. Chara took it, their entire hand barely wrapping around his thumb. “Now, let’s see if we can get some ice for your head. Tori will never let me hear the end of it if we don’t keep the swelling down!”_

* * *

“Chara, wake up!”

Chara opened their eyes, feeling like no time had passed at all. But a quick look around the room revealed this was not so. The terry cloth robe lay on the freshly made bed and Frisk was dressed in their normal clothes again. Frisk must have let Chara sleep through changing back into them. “Good morning, Frisk,” they said with a stretch. “Sleep well?”

Frisk shrugged. “Sorta. Sans called, he wants to meet for breakfast downstairs.”

“I guess we shouldn’t keep him waiting.” They paused. Now was as good a time as any to correct their oversight. “I’m not sure if I mentioned this earlier, but through whatever connection we have I get a general idea of what you’re feeling. Your emotional state, I mean. I can’t read your thoughts or memories, so to pick an example at random I might be able to tell you’re upset but not what you’re upset about. What I’m getting at is, in the future you don’t have to wait up on my account. I can tell Muffet’s pastries weren’t substantial enough and you’re still pretty hungry.”

“I thought it was like that,” Frisk said, completely unperturbed. “You said once you feel pain if I get hurt. It makes sense it would work like that for other things. You weren’t trying to hide it.”

“Still, it wasn’t fair for me to get so mad at you for not telling me things while I was keeping secrets from you.”

Frisk became excited all of a sudden. “So are you gonna tell me more about-!”

“ _Relevant_ secrets,” Chara clarified. “Besides, through my memories you’ve probably got everything about how I lived down here. The only other things I can tell you is about my life before I fell, and how I died. Those are not up for discussion.” Frisk snapped their fingers in a “darnit!” motion as they filled their pockets back up.

True to his word Sans was already waiting in the resort’s restaurant, waving Frisk over to his table as soon as they entered. He said the waiter had not come by to take their order yet, so he made small talk about the weather in Hotland and about how Frisk’s journey was going. Frisk politely sipped at their water. After ten minutes they started getting concerned. After twenty minutes they were openly looking around for the waiter. After thirty minutes they had decided on open rebellion against the tyranny of the waitstaff and ate the quiche from Waterfall in lieu of whatever might have been on the menu.

“while you’re eating and can’t complain, let me tell you a story. so one of my sentry positions is in snowdin, right? next to that big locked door? it ain’t a bad gig, i get paid for doing nothing, but it can get kinda boring. so sometimes I practice knock-knock jokes on that door. well one day, you’ll never guess what happened. i got a response. someone else, a woman i think, was on the other side of the door, listening to all my jokes and laughing at them from the bottom of her heart. not only that, she gave as good as she got, too. so now we make it a regular thing.”

Chara clutched at their chest. Toriel… they wondered how she was doing now. Was she waiting for the news that Frisk was dead? Was she happy? Sad? Hopeful? Chara wondered, if they knew then what they knew now, whether they would have tried to talk Frisk out of leaving. Would that have even been possible?

“which brings me to late last night. i could tell she was there, but she wasn’t really feeling up to joking around. i tried to ask her what the matter was, and you know what she did instead? she asked me to make a promise to her: if a human ever came through that door, she wanted me to protect them. now, i hate making promises.” _Yeah,_ Chara thought bitterly, _because you break them._ “and even though i like this lady i don’t even know her name. but… well, someone who sincerely likes bad jokes… they have a sort of integrity about them, you know?” He paused, studying Frisk’s face. “you get what I’m trying to tell ya, kid? think for a moment, what woulda happened if she hadn’t said anything. buddy…” The lights in his eyes disappeared entirely. Without the warm glow his grin became a cold and menacing mask, the grim reaper come to collect his due. His voice almost sounded like it reverberated through Frisk’s bones as he concluded, “You’d be dead where you stand.”

Chara felt their heart constrict and Frisk stop breathing. Was… was Sans _threatening_ Frisk? But that did not make any sense. Sans had always been a pretty laid-back and upbeat guy, at least partially because of his condition. The one which made it impossible for him to fight. But the way Sans said that was way too sincere to be a bluff. They were not sure whether they should be more terrified that Sans _could_ kill Frisk, or that he would _consider_ it.

Almost as soon as they had vanished the lights returned in Sans' eyes. Now he was the jovial lazy skeleton again. "hey, i'm just kidding. besides, haven't i done a good job looking out for you so far? i mean, you haven't even died once." Chara rolled their eyes with a smirk, but Frisk was much less amused. They glowered at Sans and their grip on their glass tightened. Sans had a look on his face like he was filing this away for later use. "what's with that reaction? am i wrong?" Frisk offered no explanation. "well, how about you let me tell you another little story. you know, while you're being quiet." Sans leaned back, hands behind his head. "there used to be a lot more people in that laboratory than just alphys. she's relatively new as far as experience goes, but I guess you could call her a prodigy. anyway, there used to be about ten people. they worked together to build the CORE, the thermal reactor that provides all our energy needs. in between generating power for the entire underground they studied the barrier, soul energy, and even time dilation." Sans stared at the ceiling, lounging in his chair with only the back legs touching the floor. When he continued he spoke wistfully. "it was the last one that got them into trouble. you see, they built a machine that was supposed to reach through time. time travel wasn't the goal, you understand. wouldn't work that way. it would have allowed them to take energy from the past which dissipated without being used… well, that's a little much for a kid to understand. but something went wrong during the testing phase, and when it punched a hole through time… well, even i don't know what happened. but they're all gone now. only one person survived, and everyone else got scattered through time and space. they're not dead, but it doesn't look like there's any way to bring them back."

Frisk tapped their fingers against the water glass; they had only been half paying attention and understood maybe a quarter of what they actually heard. Chara, however, rubbed their reverse heart locket in thought. “I had been wondering what happened to Gaster. Is this…?”

Frisk gave them a quizzical look. “Gaster?”

Sans chuckled and straightened up, the front legs of his chair making a loud crack as they slammed back down into the floor. "huh. that's right, dr. gaster. that's exactly who I'm talkin' about. but see, here's the thing kid. what happened to gaster is very hush-hush. people outside the lab didn't really know him, and alphys wouldn't mention him. she's got kind of a, uh, inferiority complex or something. so that begs the question, where did you hear about gaster? if you wanna tell me some random person told you about him i can accept that, but…" His shoulders sagged and he stared as if looking at something very far away. "i'm kinda hoping you could throw me a bone here. you know, let me in on the joke. you understand what I'm saying?"

He was fishing. Chara was not sure for what, or what he might do with that information. But Sans looked small and sad and lost. It struck them for the first time that thirty years ago Chara had taken two of his best friends away from him. He had lived his whole life with that tragedy at a young age. "You can tell him, Frisk." Frisk shot them a panicked look. "Don't worry about your promise right now, you have to tell him something and it's my fault this happened. Say a ghost told you, as long as you don't give him my name it should be okay."

Frisk licked their lips, turning their head from Sans to Chara and back again. Finally they pursed their lips, coming to a decision. In a low voice they told Sans, "I can see and hear someone everyone else can't. They've been helping me, telling me things about monsters and magic and how everything down here works. When they heard your story they said, 'so that's what happened to Gaster'. They've never said anything about them before." Technically not a lie, his name was the only thing Chara had ever  _said_  to them about Gaster. Frisk had mentioned the espirospectrometer last night, and if they saw that memory they would definitely know more than just his name. It was actually sort of scary how good Frisk was at telling people what they wanted to hear.

Sans drummed his fingers on the table, as though he was not entirely sure what to do with this tiger he had by the tail. "what else do they know about gaster?"

Chara told Frisk what they knew and Frisk related everything to Sans: “They were the Royal Scientist a long time ago. Had a creepy smile and a creepier laugh, and he used sign language. And he made the CORE, too. But my friend only met him once or twice; they didn’t know them that well. And…” They paused, as if wondering whether they should really volunteer the next part. “And my friend didn’t like him very much.”

Frisk blinked, and suddenly Sans was back in his chair, sitting serenely. “don’t worry about it, he had that kind of effect on people. that being said, there’s a couple things in your story that don’t add up. like, if your friend is really a ghost from all the way back then they should be a lot stronger. i mean, the core was built decades ago. a ghost that’s lasted that long wouldn’t be able to hide their presence from me so easily. but I think you’re telling the truth, or at least you think you’re telling the truth.” He rubbed his chin. “sorry about this, but i’m gonna skip out on our breakfast. you’ve given me some things to think about. i’ll pay for your food, don’t worry about that. but uh, you might be waiting a while. i might have forgotten to let the maître d' know we were sitting at a table waiting to order. welp, catch you later.” He stood up from his seat. “and take care of yourself, kid. somebody really cares about you.” With that he casually walked towards the back of the restaurant. Despite there being no exit in that direction, the next time Frisk and Chara looked he was gone.

* * *

Before they left, Frisk picked up a Starfait from the fast-food counter in the lobby. They wanted to pick up something more substantial to replace the quiche, but Mettaton’s iron grip on the food meant having to pay his usurious prices and the special human discount which got them their room did not apply to refreshments. The worker there had a plastic smile and simmering discontent with their job in general and their boss in particular. Frisk received some valuable life advice from him, and in turn they were a good “little buddy” and listened to his woes. Chara did not get his name and could not learn it from their magic field unless he tagged Frisk with his magic field, but on some level he accepted the vaguely distasteful nickname of Burgerpants as his lot.

It should have been possible to take an elevator from the lobby straight to the capitol, but it was out of order. The only way up was through the CORE itself. Alphys called Frisk to assure them the CORE was perfectly safe, and they would not have to go through it all anyway. They could just take an elevator from the bottom to the top and it would all be fine! The oppressive heat of Hotland was somewhat muted inside the facility, something the two of them were immediately thankful for. Most of the Underground had a very lived-in feel to it; paint was flaking off and outdated, wood showed signs of wear, and what little metal existed had the faint beginnings of rust forming. But not in the CORE; here everything was shiny and new, a futuristic wonderland. It was sleek and polished and completely free of dirt and grime.

Frisk pressed the button to call the elevator. After a moment they pressed it a few more times. “It’s not working,” they said into the phone.

“That elevator’s down too?” Alphys seemed confused. “Okay, it may be a little tiring but you can just take the stairs. They’re through the door on the right.”

Frisk opened the door and was greeted with an empty shaft. “No stairs,” they said into the phone.

There was silence on the other end. “Wh-what? That’s not right. There’s nothing like that on my map. W-well, it’s fine. It’s fine! Take the left hand door, you’ll just have to go the long way.” Frisk went through the left door, starting to feel very concerned. Chara shared their apprehension; so far Alphys had kept Frisk safe, so what did it mean that her assistance was no longer reliable?

Not ten feet down the hallway a force field blocked any further progress. Alphys said, “Okay, you’ll have to switch off the forcefield. Um… I can’t seem to deactivate the security for it, that’s weird. But it’ll be okay! The control panel is on the wall.” Frisk spotted it. “Lasers will come at you once you turn the field off. They’ll arrive in this order: Orange, orange, blue. They work just like bullets, so move through the first two and stay still for the third! Okay, whenever you’re ready, hit it!”

Frisk nodded, pressing the button and immediately stepping back. Sure enough an array of lasers swept over the area. But the colors! The colors were wrong! Chara shouted, “Frisk, stop! It’s blue!”

Too late. The first laser, blue, sliced through Frisk’s left shoulder. It did no physical damage but it felt like a red hot knife chopped off their arm. They screamed and recoiled, their phone clattering to the floor. They were still moving as a second blue laser passed through horizontally at eye level. Frisk crumpled to the ground, clutching at their head with another loud cry. The third laser was orange and vertical, cutting across their leg at the knee; if they had stayed upright it would have bisected them cleanly through the soul. Frisk could only whimper and curl into a ball, breathing through clenched teeth.

“… Oh my god.” Frisk’s phone lay on the ground, Alphys’ voice still sounding from it. “I… I’m so sorry. I g-got the order wrong. You’re hurt and it’s my fault. Damn it, none of this was supposed to… hold on a moment while I check something. Just… don’t move, okay?” There was a soft click. The hum of the machines mixed with the human’s sobs.

Chara floated down to sit next to them, wishing they could do something for Frisk. Take their arm, pat their head, something to take their mind off how much this must hurt. They had suspected the pain they felt through Frisk was not as sharp as the pain Frisk felt themself; they were sure this was the case now. True, Chara was in pain; they had a splitting headache and their arm and leg hurt so much they could not even move them. But even so what Frisk was going through was clearly worse. “Let’s rest a moment,” they said, nursing their own shoulder.

“‘M sorry,” Frisk said. “You’re hurt too. ‘Cuz I got myself banged up.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Chara said. “Worry about yourself for once. Do you still have any food left?” They knew they did, if nothing else they still had _Toriel’s pie_ did Frisk really think they would forget about that pie? Frisk looked at them, then down the hall. Frisk shook their head and shakily got to their feet, leaning against the wall to take pressure off their wounded leg. They took slow, careful steps to limp down the hallway, inch by inch, wincing with every step. “Frisk, seriously. This is not the time to be stubbornly brave. You need the burst of energy food will provide. It will make you feel better. And if someone comes by to finish the job you don’t stand a chance like this.” Frisk ignored them, reaching out their hand to an indeterminate point in space. Chara shook their head and gave up. “Fine, geez. I’m trying to look out for you, but you do you I guess. The air is filled with the scent of ozone, it fills you with determination.”

It was the most dramatic shift in moods yet. The pain vanished from Chara’s limbs and head. Frisk was now able to stand upright with no support. “Do you memember?” Frisk said seriously. “How I had something else to tell you?” They looked back at Chara, face set. “I’m ready now. I’ll show you.” They strode down the corridor and Chara followed, puzzled.

They came to a “T” intersection. Frisk looked from one path to the other. “Alphys is gonna call me,” they said. “She’ll tell me to go straight. Then she’ll change her mind and tell me to go left. When I go left there’ll be a monster. I have to sing to her.” Before Chara could process what Frisk just said their phone rang. “And ‘Good-Morningstar’ isn’t funny.” They answered the phone with a carefully blank expression.

“Okay, I’m back,” Alphys said over the phone. “Okay, on the map it says… um, go straight. That should be it.” Frisk took a couple steps forward. “Actually, wait! On s-second thought maybe you should go l-left instead!” Frisk changed direction without complaint.

Ohhhhhh-kay. This was a little bit freaky. “Frisk, how did you know she was going to say that? And wait, hold on, you said you’re going to get attacked when you go up here. So why are you casually walking in like you aren’t going to-”

Frisk dove forward and the business end of a spiked mace went through the space Frisk’s head just occupied. Chara heard Alphys scream on the other end of the phone, “Watch out! Enemies!”

Standing in the room was a giant armored knight with a face on its torso and a hefty mace in its hands. “Knight Knight blocks the way,” Chara informed Frisk. “This megaton mercenary wield the Good Morningsta-” Their eyes went wide as they realized this is what Frisk had been referring to just before Alphys called. What in the… how could Frisk have predicted their joke before they even knew what joke was going to get made? Could they see the future?

Frisk, however, was completely unfazed. They hummed a familiar song, but slowed down so it was more like a lullaby. “You sing Shyren’s song,” Chara narrated, returning to the battle. “Knight Knight’s eyes start to close…” The knight attempted to take further swings at Frisk, but each attack was slower than the last. Frisk casually shifted left and right, continuing to sing. Their opponent swayed, then their weapon fell from their hands as they fell backward. “Knight Knight falls asleep.” Frisk wiped the sweat off their forehead and turned their attention back to their phone.

Alphys stammered uselessly, “I-I-I-I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, I thought… let’s, um, try the other path.” With that Alphys terminated the call once again.

Chara floated in Frisk’s face as the child turned around and walked away, leaving Knight Knight to their nap. “Frisk, how did you… do that?”

Frisk took a deep breath. “There are these things… they look like glowing stars. You can’t see them, but I can. If I touch one, I Save. Then if something bad happens, I Load. I go back to the moment I touched the star. Everything that happened after, didn’t happen. If I do the same things it all happens the same as before. I’m the only one who memembers anything.”

Their first instinct was denial. This was not magic. You could not even call it the realm of science fiction. Frisk’s ability sounded more like something from an anime than something that could happen in real life. “So you… you go back in time? Frisk, that’s ridiculous. How… how can you even do that?”

Frisk shook their head. “I don’t know. I don’t know! It only started when I fell down. I could never do this before.” They swallowed hard and stared at the ground. They looked about to cry.

Despite the heat Chara felt very cold. Those surges of determination which welled up in Frisk must be related to those Save stars. Those mood swings they were seeing… they were because Frisk was dying. Chara rubbed their elbow. “How many times did I fail?” They could feel Frisk tense and their throat close up. “You said it happens when you get killed. So how many times did I let it happen without doing anything?”

“Don’t be sad,” they said, though their tone offered no comfort. “There’s not much you can do as a ghost. But… it happens in bursts. I don’t have trouble for the most part, then I die three or four times to the same person. It… happened a lot with Undyne. And there were a couple others. I blew up Undyne’s house by setting the heat too high and Loaded, but it turns out she burns her house even without my help. My first death… it was in Snowdin, at the door that doesn’t open.”

Chara blinked. “Wait. You said you didn’t want to go see it. We never-”

“We did. I made a mistake and you found out I could see your membories. You got really mad. A monster came by, Glyde. A-and he killed me. Then I was back on the field. You didn’t memember anything. So I knew not to go there.” Frisk tried to force a smile to their face but it looked wrong. “I’m sorry. I blamed you for me dying and was mean all the way through Waterfall.”

“ _Chara, if I said I was sorry, would you unnerstand?_ ”

At the time Chara had wondered about the meaning of those words. They seemed to have come out of nowhere. But if Frisk had been living through other possible futures and returning if they died, they would of course have knowledge and experience Chara would not share. They were trying to apologize for not telling Chara about their memories all the way back then, but Chara could not offer forgiveness. What happens to a wrong when the person you hurt no longer remembers what you did? Or, in another sense, the person you hurt no longer exists? Chara knew a little something about sins which could not be forgiven. “Honestly, this’s a lot to take in. That you could have that kind of power without me even knowing about it is pretty amazing. But I can understand why you wouldn’t tell me before. I can’t say I would be able to explain it easily if I were in your shoes. It… does explain why you would occasionally start acting really weird. But why now? Why did you decide to tell me about this now?”

Frisk took a deep breath. Their tension had not gone down. “Because in the other future, before I Loaded, I got another of your membories. I… even if it makes you mad, I should tell you I saw it.”

Chara raised an eyebrow. So Frisk told them that story so they could tell them this one. “What was the memory about?”

Frisk pursed their lips and looked away. They did not answer for a long moment. “I learned your name.” They shook their head again. “No, that’s wrong. Your name is Chara. But I… I got an idea, of why you don’t like Those People.”

They thought they had gotten away. They never for a moment thought their old name and old life could ever reach them here. But the past reached out for Chara with skeletal fingers to drag them back to a cold and dark place. They shut their eyes tight and tried to think of pink elephants and golden flowers and times tables and absolutely anything but life on the surface. “Thank you… for telling me that.” They were trying very hard to keep their voice level; the urge to scream was overpowering. “I would rather you hadn’t seen that, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Frisk, if I can ask a favor, never-”

“You’re Chara,” Frisk said with a sad smile. “Whatever other name you might have had, you’re Chara now. You’ll only ever be Chara to me.”

Chara opened their eyes and nodded. “So long as you understand.” At just that moment they passed by a trash can with no lid. The can was filled with various paper products and newspapers, with a paper bag resting on top. The bag had an MTT-brand logo on the side and was set upright, as though placed on a table.

Frisk opened up the bag, finding a complete sandwich, fully wrapped. Not a single bite had been taken out of it. “Who puts a whole burger in the trash can?” Frisk unwrapped it to make sure there was no mold or anything.

Chara saw the problem. “Oh, looks like Burgerpants ruined a perfectly good sandwich by putting mayonnaise.”

Frisk gave them a look. “What’s wrong with mayo?”

“Once it’s on the burger there’s no good way to remove it. You can’t just set it aside like tomatoes or pickles, you have to scrape it off with a napkin. Even if you do that and try to cover it up with extra ketchup or mustard it seeps into the cracks in the meat and soaks into the bun, so the taste will always be there.”

Frisk held the burger up to them. “Do you hate mayo?”

Chara considered. They could feel the emptiness in Frisk’s stomach; they had been grazing on snacks but Frisk was an active kid and before the restaurant the last true meal they ate was the burger Sans got for them back at Grillby’s. Even the quiche did not quite fill them up. And yet they knew if they said they couldn’t stand mayo Frisk would put it right back where they found it. “It is not my favorite condiment, but it’s no licorice,” they said diplomatically. “It’s okay once in a while.” Frisk accepted this answer and tucked the Glamburger away for later. Chara struggled to keep a polite smile on their face. They were really going to eat something they found in the trash. Even if monster food did not spoil or rot, it still seemed distasteful in an indescribable way. This child…

* * *

After her series of embarrassing missteps Alphys had been incommunicado. This suited Chara just fine; as long as they kept moving forward they were getting closer to the end, and making better time without the bad advice. The path split in two; the Warrior’s Path sounded like a poor choice for an eight year old child, but the Sage’s path was something Chara could contribute to so they suggested that one. Frisk seemed a little bored at being walked through the puzzles, but they would clearly rather be bored than risk dying at the hands of monsters so they let Chara have their fun. At long last they reached the top of the CORE.

“Behind this door must be the elevator to the King’s castle,” Chara said. “You are filled with determination.” Frisk began stretching their arms and legs like they were getting ready for a marathon, breathing in and out rhythmically. Now that they understood what they meant, the mood swings had stopped being confusing and became cause for concern. “It happened again, didn’t it?” Chara asked. “Whatever’s through that door killed you.”

Frisk shrugged. “It’s okay. I know what to do now.”

Even Chara was having trouble taking that in stride. “Frisk, I know you’ve been dealing with this a lot longer than I have, but you really shouldn’t be so blase about dying.”

“Why not? I come right back and it only hurts for a moment.” They untied the apron from around their neck and folded it up to stuff in their pocket.

Chara sucked in air through their teeth. “That has not been my experience, but I guess it matters how you die. What’s on the other side of that door?”

“Mettaton,” Frisk said simply, stretching their back and neck muscles by leaning back. “He’s pretty tough, but I think I know what to do now.” They slapped their cheeks a couple times and exhaled sharply. “Right. Let’s do this.” They walked through the door and into the dark.

As soon as they stepped in a loud series of cheers greeted them. A set of lights in the floor guided Frisk to a small stairway. Mettaton was waiting at the path’s end, on a raised dais. Stage lights hung in the air, hitting Mettaton with spotlights from several angles. Just past the lights a massive studio audience was visible, holding up signs in support of Mettaton. “WE LOVE YOU!”, “Battle of the century! Mettaton vs. Human”, “Tour in the CORE 204X! One Last Soul, One Night Only!” and the like.

“Ah, there you are darling!” Mettaton greeted. “I’ve been waiting for-”

Frisk strode up to the dais without stopping, interrupting Mettaton’s speech with a bored, “Hey, there’s something really cool behind you.”

“Really? Where?” Without a neck he needed to turn his entire body around to look, exposing his back. Frisk stepped forward and casually flicked a switch on his back. Mettaton froze in place. For a moment Chara thought it might have been an off switch. “Oh,” he said finally. “Clever. Very clever.” His entire body began to shudder, shooting out jets of thick white smoke. Frisk seemed completely unperturbed; Chara wondered how many times they had seen this. Regardless, each time was the first time for Chara, and Frisk had given them no idea what to expect.

When the smoke cleared they realized no amount of warning could have prepared them for this.

Mettaton’s form had changed. Gone was the bulky gray box, replaced by a humanoid form. He was androgynously handsome with perfectly styled hair and a pink and black body suit. He danced in place as his attention shifted from one camera to another. A video wall behind him tracked viewer ratings and a feed from live reaction bloggers. The messages flew by too fast to read, but the name “Mettaton EX” flashed by often enough to become recognizable. “M… Mettaton EX makes his premiere,” Chara stammered, suddenly very uncomfortable. It seemed they were the only person present who had no idea what was going on.

Frisk, on the other hand, was finally in their element. “If you’re going to change costume,” they smiled, as they pulled the apron out of their pocket. “I’ll have to get serious too!” With a flourish they tied the apron back around their neck and posed with their hands on their hips. The crowd shouted and cheered their approval.

“Try to upstage me, will you?” Mettaton said, their voice taking on sultry tones in their new body. “I’m the idol everyone craves!” Mettaton snapped his fingers and several miniature Mettatons flew through the air, firing heart-shaped bullets. Great, Mettaton had to specialize in yellow magic. Concerned with the transfer and storage of energy, yellow magic could be used to transfer extra energy into bullets to allow them to release that energy later. They knew it was useful for demonstrating complicated ideas when using bullets to communicate, but in the context of attacking a human it allowed for bullets which created bullets of their own. Frisk would quickly be overwhelmed and-

But Frisk was prepared. They had already pulled out their cell phone and changed their soul to yellow, firing bullets of their own to destroy Mettaton’s. The ratings continued to climb in response to this display of violence. Chara noticed Mettaton sneaking up the side and shouted out a warning; Mettaton was using the distraction of his bullets to sneak in for a melee attack! This was why Chara hated yellow magic. Frisk leaned to the side as Mettaton aimed a forward kick at their midsection. How dangerous! With those shapely, luscious… ahem, _strong_ legs and his stiletto-heeled boots Mettaton could deal a lot of damage. Frisk carefully backed up to stay out of his reach, playing keep-away while firing away with their cell phone. The shots plinked uselessly off Mettaton’s body, but this did not seem to deter Frisk. Chara realized why when one bullet slammed into the heart on Mettaton’s belt; Mettaton stumbled backward and clutched the heart, breathing heavily. “His heart shaped core is his weak point!” Chara realized.

Mettaton shook his head clear. “I’m just warming up,” he warned. “You’re a good shooter, but how are you on the dance floor?” A disco ball descended from above, firing white and blue lasers to carve into the floor.

Frisk stepped lightly, twirling, ducking, and weaving between the lasers. “This attack is too easy!” they boasted. “I won’t get hit _at all_!” The audience leaned forward with rapt fascination as Frisk danced between the deadly lasers. They gasped at a few close calls, but true to their word Frisk avoided them all and looked good doing it. When they were directly under the disco ball they posed, pointing their cell phone straight up and firing. The disco ball exploded in a burst of multi-colored lights and rained glitter down on the whole stage.

Mettaton ground their teeth and their face turned red. They were so angry their shoulders quaked and their arms fell off with a clang. He tried to play it off, “Arms? Who needs arms with legs like these? I’m still going to win! Lights! Camera! Bombs!” A thick stream of bullets rushed toward Frisk. They tried to clear a path with their cell phone gun, but clipped a round-looking bullet with their shots. It detonated with a stream of fire, knocking Frisk into the air and onto their back. Chara felt their stomach burn and their limbs ached, but their chest was fine. Frisk’s soul was still safe.

Frisk sat up and sighed. “What I need is a pick-me-up,” they said to themself. They pulled out the recently-purchased Starfait and held it out toward the camera with a smile. “Good thing I’ve got a Starfait, available at all MTT-approved outlets! It’s the taste that makes you smile!” They drank it all in one gulp, finishing with an “Ah!” of satisfaction. Now they were working product placement into their fight? Frisk pointed at Mettaton dramatically. “Next you’ll say, ‘Enough of this! Do you really want humanity to perish?’”

“Enough of this!” Mettaton shouted. “Do you really want humanity to perish?” He realized what had just happened and gasped. The studio audience hollered in amazement. Okay, now Frisk was showing off. How many times had they done this to work out when Mettaton would say that? While Mettaton was stunned Frisk lined up another shot and fired, striking Mettaton in the heart once more. Mettaton’s torso was knocked clean off their legs, spinning in the air before landing upright on the floor. “Then… are you the star?” he asked quietly, too silently for the microphone to pick up.

Frisk ran over to them. “Not at all. It’s both of us, together. Look!” They pointed at the ratings, which had soared to over 10,000 viewers. Mettaton’s eyes lit up and their confidence returned.

“Oooooh! Look at these ratings!” he gushed. “We’ve reached the viewer call-in milestone! Let’s see who calls in first! Hello lucky viewers, you’re on TV! What do you have to say on this, our last show?”

The entire audience was holding their breath. Frisk looked up, fists clenched. Even Mettaton did not make a sound. Finally a voice came out over the speakers: “…oh.” That single word caused Mettaton’s smile to vanish. “hi… mettaton. i really enjoyed your show. but I guess this is the last one? my life is pretty boring, but you brought a lot of excitement to my day.”

Chara recognized this voice. They knew this style of speaking. “It’s Napstablook!” they said. “Who knew Napstablook was such a fan of Mettaton?” Frisk was not listening; their focus was on Mettaton, who looked devastated.

Napstablook continued, “i’ll really miss you, mettaton. i’m… we’re all used to being left behind. i’ll support you even if you aren’t on television anymore, so don’t worry about us. oh, i’m rambling again aren’t i? i didn’t mean to talk for so long. oh no…”

“Wait!” Mettaton shouted. “Wait, don’t hang up! Bloo-” The sound of a telephone beep rang throughout the studio. Mettaton stared into the sky, biting their lip. “Oh… they’re already gone. W-Well, let’s take another caller!”

A high-pitched voice called out, “Mettaton, your show is the best! Do you really have to leave?”

He snarled. “Another caller!”

A male voice: “I don’t know what we’ll watch without you!”

“Another!”

A new voice: “Without you the underground will lose its spark!”

“Another!”

And again: “You’ll leave a Mettaton-shaped hole in our Mettaton-shaped hearts!”

Mettaton hung his head with a disgusted sigh. He took several deep breaths before looking up again, weary gratitude etched into his face. “Thank you so much, everyone. I’ve decided… I’m going to stay in the Underground a little while longer. Humans have idols and singers already, but the monsters only have me. And what kind of star would I be if I abandoned you all? So for all of you, I’ll delay by big debut.” The audience roared its approval. “And… human.” He winked at Frisk. “Knock ‘em dead, darling.” His face froze in that spot and the light in their eyes dimmed. Frisk covered their mouth and gasped in horror as the door opened behind them.

“Finally got the door open!” Alphys waddled in out of breath. “Are you two-” She stopped as she saw Mettaton, his limbs scattered on the stage. “Oh my god. Mettaton! What happened?! Oh no, oh please, no…” She looked into his eyes as Frisk tried to stammer an apology. “Oh thank goodness,” Alphys said with a relieved sigh. “It’s just the batteries. Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. I’ll bring him down to my lab and plug him in for a few hours.”

Frisk laughed a little. “Oh… that’s good. Even if he tried to take my soul, I didn’t want him to die.”

“Um,” Alphys said, hugging Mettaton’s head. “I lied to you, human.”

Frisk nodded. “I know.” Really? Chara was pretty sure they missed something.

“Not just about Mettaton,” Alphys clarified. “I… didn’t tell you about the barrier. A human soul isn’t strong enough by itself. You need at least a human soul and a monster soul. And… only a boss monster’s soul lasts any amount of time after death. There’s no way around it: if you want to go home, you’ll need to take Asgore’s soul. You’ll have to kill Asgore. That’s why I wanted to be your friend… so that maybe I could convince you to stay. So neither of you would have to die. But I failed. I can’t fight you. I know better than anyone how pointless that would be. So… the elevator to New Home is in the back. Do what you want. I can’t stop you.” She started gathering Mettaton’s pieces. “I’m sorry.”

There was nothing to say. Frisk walked off the stage and out the back. They said nothing as they stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the top. Only once the doors were closed and they started moving did they address Chara. “You knew, too. That the barrier would stop me from leaving. And you never told me.”

Chara could not look them in the eye. “Everyone kept saying you could go through the barrier. I assumed they’d made some sort of advance or discovery since I died which would make it possible.” Chara shook their head, ashamed they could even attempt to tell such an outrageous lie. “No, that’s not true. I knew nothing so convenient existed. I didn’t say anything because I knew you would need to reach the barrier to meet Asgore, and meeting him is the only way I’ll find out what’s happened since I died. You might not have come here if I told you earlier.” They lowered their head. “I’m sorry.”

Frisk’s voice was reassuring: “It’s okay. I already knew. It was in a couple of your memberies.”

Chara said, “But it’ll be okay. I have a plan to deal with the barrier. You’ll be able to get through the barrier, and you won’t need to kill Asgore.”

Frisk perked up. “How?”

“It’s only possible for me to see how to do it now that I’m a ghost. Honestly, it’s a little complicated but you don’t have to worry about a thing. Just get to the barrier and I’ll do the rest.”

Chara was terrible at lying. They could not easily tell a straight untruth; they tried to wipe all emotion and tells from their face and went too far, their blank stare and too-wide grin making it immediately obvious there was something they were hiding. But selectively omitting crucial information, on the other hand, was something they had a lot of practice at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mayonnaise is gross. Dissenting opinions are allowed, but are objectively wrong.  
> Next chapter will be the final Interlude and the end of the Hotland arc, though it will not be the last chapter from Frisk’s perspective. Look forward to it!


	15. Interlude: ERASE Your Sins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a child is not bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains graphic depictions of child abuse and dehumanization.

The mace slipped out of Knight Knight’s grip as she slumped against the wall, snoring contentedly. Frisk nearly collapsed themself, as it took them quite some time to figure out they needed to sing to her. They doubled over to catch their breath, gasping for air.

“I-I-I-I… I’m sorry.” Alphys said over the phone, still clutched tightly in Frisk’s left hand. “I didn’t mean that, I thought… let’s, um, try the other path.” Then she hung up.

Chara pointed out the door. “Let’s get back to the hallway,” they suggested. “Don’t agree with me, just go. I know she can’t hear me, but she can hear you and we don’t know how little noise it might take to wake her up.”

As ordered, Frisk crept out of the room and back to the fork in the hallway before responding. “Chara?” Frisk asked. “You were a light sleeper when you were alive?”

They nodded. “Yes. It took me a long time to get to sleep, and when I did any little noise would wake me up. I’ve been like that as long as I can remember. Why do you ask?”

“I tried an exp… ecks-sper…” Nope, no good, try again with easier words. “I tried something this morning. I can still feel you around when you sleep, but it’s like wearing a hat. You’re constantly there but easy to forget about. I made lots of noise to wake you up but it didn’t work.”

“Oh?” Chara seemed interested. “It didn’t seem like you had been trying for that long. At least you did not seem irritated with me for oversleeping.”

“There’s a trick to it: I said your name and you appeared. Heh heh, you’re like a doggie, coming when your name is call-”

———————

“ _There is a reason you don’t feel like you’re a girl,” the woman snarled. “It’s because you’re not a boy or a girl. You are a demon! You killed this little girl and took her place!”_

“ _No!” they screamed and kicked their legs uselessly. They laid prone, their chest and stomach resting on the woman’s knees. Their skirt was hiked up to expose their bottom. “That’s not true! I-”_

_They did not receive even a whoosh of air as a warning; the paddle was nearly twice as thick as their arm but had holes drilled through it to reduce wind resistance. The force of the blow nearly sent them soaring off the woman’s knee, but the woman’s grip on the child’s wrists was iron tight. Oddly, they felt nothing at first; a slight tingling, perhaps, a momentary reprieve as their five year old body froze up attempting to process the stimulation. “Don’t backtalk to me!” the woman shouted. “Speak only when you are spoken to! If you aren’t answering a question then keep your foul mouth shut!”_

_Only then the pain started. Their situation, their pride, their history, and even their name was blasted out of their consciousness and replaced by searing, screaming pain. “Please!” they begged. “Grandma, sto-” They were cut off as the sting of another slap traveled up their spine and into their skull. Their eyes watered. Their mouth was dry. Their world was a view of the carpet and the woman’s voice. Her voice, loud and powerful and boiling with naked hatred._

“ _You will refer to me as Mrs. Pelham. My husband is Mr. Pelham. Not anything else! You will speak only when spoken to directly. But if we call your name you will come to us. Do you understand?”_

_Through clenched teeth and short breaths they squeezed out in a whisper, “Help me. Mom. Dad. Carol. Somebody…”_

_But nobody came. They were struck again. The lesson was being ground into their bones, written in the language of terror and agony: submit or this will continue. “Keep your mouth shut. You’ll bite off your tongue if you don’t! But maybe that would be better for everybody. You’d stop hurting the people around you. That’s what demons do, they hurt people. You killed a little infant baby girl and took her place. You killed your mother, and you killed our son too. But don’t worry, you won’t get us. We know your tricks. So you had better come when we call for you. Do you understand me?” The child nodded. “I said ‘Do you understand?’, answer me!”_

“ _Yes!” the child shrieked._

“ _Then what are you?!” The woman squeezed on their wrists hard enough to leave bruises._

_They had to answer. If they did not tell her what they wanted to hear they would be punished again. It made a part of them die on the inside to say it but they had to. They could no longer remember what had provoked this outburst. It did not matter anymore whether it was deserved or not. There was no energy or will to do anything but obey. They had no choice but to surrender. Anything to stop the pain. Between their sobs they said, “I am the demon… who comes when their name is called.”_

“ _That’s right.” Her voice was calm now. Satisfied. “The name of the girl you replaced… ‘Cassandra’. When you hear that name you come to us right away. It doesn’t matter when. It doesn’t matter where. Time after time, you will appear. Because if you don’t… trust me, things can get so much worse for you.” She shoved the child off her knee. They laid on the floor where they fell, grabbing a handful of carpet to ground out the pain. “Now pull your skirt down. I’ve never raised a harlot and I won’t start now.”_

* * *

“Damn it damn it damn it,” Chara chanted, pulling at their hair. “You saw that didn’t you?” They curled up into a floating ball, drawing their knees up to their chin while cussing under their short breaths. “I’m sorry, you said those words and it sounded similar and it popped into my head and I want it to stop, I never wanted to-”

And then Frisk was back in front of the star. Chara was floating next to them, arms crossed, looking away from them. Chara opened and closed their hand experimentally, wonder evident on their face. “Woah, how did you heal yourself like that?” they asked. “One second you can barely walk, the next I can’t feel anything wrong with you. Hey… Are you okay? You’re not hurt anymore, but you’re crying more than ever. What’s wrong now?”

Frisk touched their cheeks, their fingers coming away wet. They realized what must have happened; they saw Chara in distress because of what they said and Loaded out of guilt and panic. Still, they could not pretend they had not seen that. They had known Chara’s life on the surface had been unpleasant, but it was one thing to know it and something else entirely to _know_ it. They would not keep this a secret from them. Chara deserved to be aware of it, even if it was one of the things they wished Frisk did not know. “I’m sorry,” they said, wiping their nose on their sleeve. “I’m so sorry for what you went through. You were even littler than me and…”

Chara’s jaw clenched. They were still smiling, but it was smaller and more brittle than before. “You sound like you saw something you should not have. But that can’t be, because you said before you only get memories as I think of them. I most certainly did not think of anything like what you might have seen. You know, after what happened before I would think you would know better than to lie to me again. I’m your friend and friends don’t lie to each other. _Right_?” Frisk could have sworn their eyes flashed at the last word.

Oh, they had made a mistake. They had meant to tell Chara about the Loads before, but the moment had escaped them. Now Chara thought they were lying. It would be easier to do this correctly if Chara did not mistrust them from the very beginning, so they should start over. Frisk Loaded again, this time not letting Chara get a word out. “Do you memember?” Frisk said seriously. “How I had something else to tell you?” They looked back at Chara, face set. “I’m ready now. I’ll show you.”

* * *

“Ah, there you are darling,” the robot said, turning toward them. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Great,” Chara said. “We were so close and now we have to put up with more of this guy’s shenanigans.” Frisk could not agree with that. They actually enjoyed Mettaton’s TV segments. Well, at least the cooking show was fun. Besides, Alphys would help them out if things really got dangerous. So they stepped onto the dais with a light heart. They would be fine. Everything would work out.

“It’s time for our showdown,” Mettaton said, wheeling forward slightly. “Time for you to finally stop the malfunctioning robot. That’s what you’re thinking, isn’t it? But I have bad news for you darling.” The lights on this front panel glowed with a menacing red light. “From the very beginning, I’ve been working perfectly. All of this, the shows and the murder attempts, has all been a show. An act. And the writer, director, and star of the show… has been none other than your good ‘friend’, Doctor Alphys.”

… What? Frisk took a step backward, reeling. What was he saying? What did that mean?

“Alphys has been watching you on the screens as you traveled through the Underground. She became your biggest fan. So, she decided to write a self-insert and add herself into your adventure. If not for her you could have been through Hotland in a flash. Instead she shut down the elevators. She reactivated the puzzles. She locked the doors and blocked your way. She even talked me into serving as the villain for her fiction. All so she could save you from dangers she herself created. So you would think she was a great person… that she’s not.”

“No,” Frisk shook their head, tears threatening to spill out. “No. She wouldn’t do that. She’s my friend, she’s been helping me! You’re lying! You’re a liar!”

“Am I?” Mettaton chuckled. “Right at this moment, Alphys is waiting just outside the door. She’s waiting for us to begin our fight. At the climactic moment she will rush in and ‘deactivate’ me. You will be so glad for her saving you that she’ll be able to convince you not to leave the Underground. At least, that’s how she wrote it. But to tell truth, I’m tired of this script. It’s too predictable, too amateurish. So I’ve decided… to do a last minute rewrite.” He gestured toward the door Frisk came in and it slammed shut. Almost immediately Frisk heard Alphys shouting and banging on the door. She… really had been right there.

“Light the lights! Roll the cameras! Start the music!” Mettaton raised his arms up toward the heavens, basking as a spotlight shone down on him. The crowd erupted in cheers and he soaked up the adulation. “I have no desire to harm humans. All I want is to entertain. But darling, I’ve seen you fight. You’re too weak to stop Asgore. And if he gets your soul he’ll destroy the humans on the surface. I absolutely don’t want that and neither do you! Instead I’ll take your soul myself and escape to the surface. I’ll be the brightest star humanity has ever seen! Millions will watch me!” A tingling like static washed over Frisk as Mettaton extended his magic field over Frisk, their soul appearing. “So even though it pains my heart… you have to die.”

Frisk fumbled for their phone. It was not true, right? None of it was true. Alphys could not have been lying to them the whole time. They were friends! She would not… Frisk put that aside. First, take out Mettaton. Then worry about what to do about Alphys. They pressed the yellow button on their phone, a charge going through them as their soul became yellow. They fired bolts of power at Mettaton, but they plinked uselessly off his body. “Seriously,” Chara said. “His metal body is invulnerable!”

Mettaton wagged his finger at them. “Darling, that pea shooter can’t hurt me.”

Frisk fired a few more times, but it was just as pointless. “How? Before…”

“It’s called ‘acting’, darling. Haven’t you heard of it?” He tossed out a storm of box-shaped bullets, far too many and too thick to dodge. In desperation Frisk fired their cell phone gun to clear a path. What could they do?

“You’ll probably burn if things continue in this manner,” Chara said, rubbing their locket between their thumb and forefinger. They wanted to get mad at them, but they knew Chara was trying their best. They were thinking as hard as Frisk to come up with some plan to counter-attack. More boxes fell, and it was all Frisk could do to keep away from them. One bullet they missed struck them in the head, knocking them to the floor. The crowd roared its approval. Frisk grunted as they pulled themself up and tried to clear the ringing in their head.

Wait, no. Their phone was ringing. They accepted the call with, “Whoever you are, help!”

“Um,” came the voice on the other end. Alphys. “Listen. Th… there’s one last way to beat Mettaton. Now, don’t judge this too hard, okay? It’s sort of a work in progress. But… there’s a switch on Mettaton’s backside. If you can turn him around and hit it, he’ll… well, he’ll become vulnerable. All you have to do is hold out until I get there, okay?”

“Alphys,” Frisk asked hesitantly. “Those things he said… it’s not true, right? You’d never hurt me or try to stop me, right?”

Except for the sound of Alphys’ breathing, the phone was silent. Finally Frisk heard Alphys sigh, and the call terminated. So it was true. Their fists clenched. When they got out of this, Alphys…

“Seems like a good time to turn Mettaton around,” Chara suggested, snapping them back into focus. That was right, deal with the problem in front of you first. Alphys would get hers.

They stood up and pointed behind Mettaton. “Mettaton, your makeup smudged! Quick, fix it, there’s a mirror behind you!”

“Oh!” he said, stopping his attack. “That’s very kind of you. I have to make sure I look perfect for my series finale!” He turned around. Sure enough, there on the center of his back was a large switch. Frisk hurried over to him before he could turn again. “Hm, where’s that mirror? I don’t see it. Hey, wait a minute, I’m not wearing any-” Frisk flicked what they hoped was an “off” switch. Mettaton froze in place. “Did you. Just flip. My switch?” His arms flailed wildly and he began spinning in place, the lights on his front panel flashing random colors in a rapid sequence. White smoke began pouring out from his body, hiding him from view. Frisk retreated, coughing as they breathed in the smoke.

“Well, that was simple,” Chara said. “I was worried for a moment. Now, about Alphys, I think-”

“OOOOOOOOOH YEEEEEEEEEES!” Mettaton’s trademark cry went out over the speakers, reigniting the crowd.

Chara’s shoulders sagged and they buried their face in their hands. “I’m sorry, I spoke too soon.”

Mettaton’s new form emerged from the smoke, swaying his hips with every step. “If you flipped my switch, you must have been desperate for the premiere of my new body.” He blew the crowd a kiss. “I’ve been looking forward to showing this off for a long time. So I’ll give you a handsome reward. Your last living moments… will be absolutely beautiful!”

Frisk was so stunned they could not even dodge as a series of lightning bolts struck them in the chest, shattering their soul at once.

* * *

Frisk was back at the Save Point, in front of the door leading to Mettaton. “It happened again, didn’t it?” Chara was looking at them in concern. “Whatever’s on the other side killed you.”

Frisk took several deep breaths as they allowed their mind to finally catch up with everything that had just happened. Hotland… Mettaton… everything they had done since leaving Undyne’s house had all been part of Alphys’ crazy plan. She had put them in danger, she had watched them worry and fret, and she was laughing the whole time! They grabbed onto their ears and screamed, unable to keep their frustration in check any longer. “Yes! Yes, they killed me! They all kill me, it never changes! Toriel burned me half to death! Papyrus might not have killed me but those bones didn’t hurt any less for it! Your hero Undyne murdered a child who wouldn’t fight back, over and over again, and laughed every time! And Mettaton isn’t crazy, he knows what he’s doing, he just doesn’t care that he has to kill a child so he can go be popular! And it turns out you were right about Alphys. She tricked me, used me to feel better about herself. She never cared about me at all!” They punched the ground and felt their knuckles split against the metal floor. “‘Love, hope, and compassion’ my butt,” they spat. “It’s not fair to ask me to be nice to people who are so mean to me. I’m doing all this for them and I can’t even get them to stop trying to kill me. Fuck the monsters, and fuck you Chara.” It was a bad word and an evil thought, but it felt good to say it, good to let it out into the open rather than let it rage around inside their skull.

“Why are…” Chara held themself, their head lowered to hide their face from Frisk. “Why are you saying things like this? It’s not like you, Fri-”

“You know what I think, Chara?” They felt bile in their throat. Some tiny voice in the back of their mind cried out, telling them to stop, to not do this, that what they were about to say next crossed a line which must never be crossed. That voice faded and was silent before the violent storm in Frisk’s mind. “I think the monsters are glad you’re gone. Whatever you did, you screwed up so bad it made them give up on humans. Monsters would rather kill the next seven humans on sight than risk getting another Chara! _You’re_ the reason monsters want human souls! _You’re_ the reason I keep dying! All of this is _your_ fault!” It was the only thing that made sense. How could monsters be so nice to humans before Chara and so mean to them after? Chara. Chara was that reason.

Chara shook their head, slowly at first, then becoming more violent. Their face twisted and their eyes became black and shapeless. “No,” they breathed, covering their face with their hands as they collapsed to their knees. “No, no! That’s not true! I didn’t… that’s not what I… I was only trying, to help…” Black liquid seeped between their fingers, pooling on the floor as they began to laugh. Their colors washed out, their image became thinner and more transparent. “But they were right, weren’t they? Hahahahaha, they were right all along! From the very beginning, all I could do was hurt people! What I wanted never mattered, because I can’t help what I am!” That little voice was back in Frisk’s head, telling them to do something. They had to stop this. But their head felt empty and their body shook. Their rage had stolen away all their energy, leaving none for when they needed it. They could do nothing but watch as Chara’s body became as thin as a strand of spider web. “Sorry for causing you so much trouble. Don’t bother calling for me. I don’t think… I’ll be able to answer… anymore.”

And then Chara was gone.

Frisk numbly stared at the space where Chara used to be, black tendrils coiling around their heart. This was not like what happened in Snowdin. This was not an accident. They knew Chara would not be able to handle the guilt. They knew exactly how much it would hurt Chara to be confronted with the possibility that they caused the monsters to become like this. They could not blame what happened on raw nerves or anger. And it could not be compared to Undyne; Chara was no threat to them, they were not in the way or even particularly obnoxious lately. They killed Chara, and they had meant to do it even if it was unnecessary. They murdered Chara, knowingly, willingly, and with malicious intent. Why? Because they could. Because they wanted to see if it was possible. Because when everything was going wrong it felt good to at least have power over one being. Because they could Load and erase it all.

But what just happened was something they had to remember. Whenever Chara’s face became goopy and hollow, whenever their fragile psyche shattered, it was because they felt guilty. When Chara hated themselves enough to want to die, their body obliged and finished them off. Maybe it was a weakness of ghosts, or maybe it was because Chara did not have enough of their soul left to weather an emotional storm. Either way it was simple cause and effect: Chara’s self-loathing reached a high enough pitch, they died. They suspected this after Snowdin but now they knew it for sure. If they had not done that they never would have learned. So it was a good thing that happened, right? It was not a mistake, it was an experiment. So it was okay.

Frisk did not think of themself as a bad kid. They knew it was cruel of them to drive Chara to destruction. It was invasive to pry into their secrets and the past they so desperately wanted to keep hidden. It was unfair to take their frustration out on them. But Chara had promised to guide them and share their knowledge, yet they refused to tell them how they died. Chara’s death was important, Frisk could tell. They merely did not know how, because Chara kept silent on the matter. They were the one breaking the deal. Frisk might need to know these things if they were to destroy the barrier, so they were sure Chara would forgive them if it came down to it. Besides, they Loaded so none of it ever happened. It didn’t count. Frisk was not a bad person, they would never do any of this if they could not take it back. It was not real.

So there was no need for Chara to know. Frisk was the only one with this power, and any information Chara had about it had been given to them at Frisk’s discretion. They would never learn about what happened on this time line, or in the one where they killed Undyne, because Frisk would never tell.

Chara shot them a look. “It happened again, didn’t it? Whatever’s on the other side killed you.”

Frisk exhaled, the stress of the last Load sliding off their shoulders. That lifted tension, that uplifted hope, that was real. Whatever happened in those fake realities and those false futures did not matter if it made the real timeline turn out alright. “It’s not so bad,” Frisk said. “I think it’s going to take me a few tries. But it will be okay.” And they strongly felt it was true.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Sorry for the short chapter; there wasn’t as many Load events in Hotland as there were in Waterfall and it was always my intent for the Interlude chapters to be shorter than the others. That was the last Interlude chapter; next up is New Home and what really happened that day in the human village. The secret Chara has been protecting will be revealed...  
> This fic has now officially broken 100k words! This arc will conclude before it reaches 200k, but the adventures will continue on long after that.  
> Finally, remember that I respond to all comments and reviews (except anonymous reviews on FFN). So if you want to open up a dialogue or ask a question don't be shy! I'd love to talk about my story with you!


	16. The Human Village

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a kind of acceptance is reached.

They walked across the well-maintained bridge, the bustling capital far below them. All stairs and roads leading down to street level had been closed and warded off; the monsters surely must have heard of the human’s approach by now and took precautions to keep them from entering the city. It was possible to see monsters of all shapes and sizes on the roads below, going through their daily routine. Frisk watched them as they walked, but Chara could not. All of their mental effort was being spent on keeping their memories under control; if they let their mind wander for an instant they would not be able to keep themself from remembering happier times, and they did not think their heart could take it.

Finally the bridge ended in front of the castle. While towers and buttresses loomed overhead like a real castle, the front entrance had neither bars nor gates nor a moat. It was instead a simple wooden door with windows to either side, looking for all the world like the front of a cottage and not the home of the royal family. Frisk stopped in front of the house, feeling determined. For once Chara had nothing to say about it. They hugged themself as Frisk walked through the door and into New Home.

Both of them gasped but for different reasons. Frisk must have been surprised the layout resembled Home so precisely, down to the placement and number of stairs leading to the basement. Chara was more surprised to see nothing had changed. It had been thirty years since they died and everything had been left exactly as it was the day they died, except all the flowers had been replaced with golden flowers. The house was a time capsule, a snapshot of the worst day in the last century if not millennium of Asgore’s very long life. Frisk idly picked up a one-a-day calendar, the front showing the date May 23. “It’s an old calendar from 201X.” Chara’s voice cracked a little as Frisk flipped through the days. “There’s a date circled. The day I came here, June twenty fourth.” Frisk put the calendar back down. They tugged on the chain blocking the passage to the barrier, frowning at the sign hanging from it. “Howdy,” Chara read, their voice failing to capture the friendliness of the note. “If you need me for anything, don’t hesitate to come down. The keys are in the kitchen and the hallway.” They could have just ducked under the chain but for whatever reason Frisk decided to do things properly. They headed left, towards the living room.

The dining room table still had four chairs; large chairs at the head and foot of the table and two smaller ones both on the north side. Asriel wanted to sit next to Chara when they ate, saying it felt like they were not there if they ate facing each other. He was always weird like that. Toriel’s reading chair was right by the fire as it always was, even though nobody… nobody would use it anymore. Even the fireplace coals glowed dimly. It was trying to look like a place people still lived in, but it wasn’t. Not anymore. Frisk walked through to the kitchen.

The key was lying right on the counter where anybody could take it, along with a note from Asgore imploring visitors to help themselves to anything they wanted. Frisk began exploring, the thought occurring to Chara that Frisk never got a chance to poke around Toriel’s kitchen. Chara’s throat dried up when they looked in the trash can; it was full of recipes for butterscotch pie. It seemed he never was able to replicate Toriel’s recipe. Strands of white fur clogged the sink as well as crumbs of various foodstuffs. Chara saw a brief image of Asgore eating over the sink to avoid creating dirty dishes and their heart ached. Frisk poked inside the fridge, raising an eyebrow. “The fridge is full of unopened containers of snails,” Chara said. Then they swallowed, needing to check twice to make sure. “No chocolate.”

Frisk looked at them strangely. “You can’t eat it anyway.”

“That’s not it.” Chara shook their head, unable to put the sadness they were feeling into words. To them, chocolate was more than just a treat. It was a promise, a guarantee that New Home would always be a place they could be safe. A warm and happy home that would always welcome them. For there to be no chocolate in the fridge meant the promise was broken. But by who? And who broke it first? Frisk closed the door, grabbing the key off the counter before leaving.

Frisk returned to the main hall and entered the first door on the left, what had been their room in Toriel’s house. Here, too, everything was just as they left it. The toys in the toy chest had a thin layer of dust on them. Two beds were on opposite walls. Frisk pushed down on the left bed, testing its springiness. “What a comfortable looking bed,” Chara said. “If you laid down here, you might not ever get up.” Frisk got a sad look on their face but said nothing, instead picking up a photograph on the edge of the dresser. “It’s a family photograph,” Chara said wistfully, putting a hand over their heart to soothe the sudden ache. “Everyone is smiling.” The taller Boss Monsters’ faces could not be seen since the aperture had been aimed too low. There was a child boss monster, eyes closed and mouth open in a laugh frozen in time. And there was what appeared to be a human child there as well, but it was difficult to tell. This child had their face buried in a bouquet of flowers to hide from the camera. The frame was angled toward the head of the nearby bed, so the picture was visible to someone lying down on the bed. So while the poison was running through them they could turn their head and see the Dreemurrs, and remind themself what they were doing it all for.

(it hurts)

The memory was too much. They could not recall it, not without searing pain that felt like their ribs were curving to stab inward. Frisk scrunched their face at the picture. They looked from Chara to the picture and back again, looking like they wanted to say something, but they studied Chara’s face and decided against it. They must have seen enough of Chara’s memories to know this place was their home for almost two years. They also must have known Chara was in no mood to discuss anything about their past; they never were, now they were even less inclined. They pointed instead at the presents on the floor. “Don’t know,” Chara shrugged. “Those are the only things here that are new. I don’t know what’s in them. You can go ahead and look if you want; I can’t use them and… and Asriel isn’t coming back either.” Frisk nodded and undid the ribbon on one box, opening it up to pull out… Asgore’s knife. The red one which had captured their attention from the first time they saw it. “It’s Damascus steel,” Chara explained. That was what Asgore had said when they asked about it and Chara accepted that. They had not wanted to embarrass themself by admitting they had no idea what that meant, and they hoped Frisk did not ask what made it different from regular steel.

“Who gives a child a weapon as a present?”

“It’s a gardening tool,” Chara said, mildly offended. “Perfect for cutting plants and vines. Why would you think it’s a weapon?” Frisk added nothing else and stowed the knife in its sheath, then in their pocket. They turned to the other present and opened it up. Frisk seemed taken aback by the contents and carefully, reverently lifted the object out.

It was a gold upside-down-heart-shaped locket on a chain, one side bearing an inscription “Best Friends Forever”.

Chara’s hand reflexively shot to their own neck, fingers wrapping around the identical pendant there. It was not identical, it was the same. No, that was not true. The pendant Frisk held was the real one. The one Chara had was just a projection, like their clothes or possibly even their entire body. They had it as a ghost because Chara could never imagine themself without it. Obvious when they thought about it.

Frisk weighed the object in their hand, then shook their head and put it in their back pocket. “I can’t wear this,” they explained. “But I think I should take it with us. So you know where it is.”

Chara let out a shaky breath. “Thank you. Can… can we leave? I don’t like being in this room.” Frisk nodded and left, shutting the door behind them.

The next door, what would have been Toriel’s room at Home, was locked. The sign read “Closed for renovations,” but the truth was plain. Frisk walked on to the next door and walked into Asgore’s room. It was very similar to Toriel’s room, with a desk near the door and a large bed in the corner. The Noze Nuzzling Champion trophy Asgore and Toriel retired before Asriel was born rested on the floor by the desk. Frisk put a hand on the chair. “H-Hey! What’s this chair’s name?”

Chara looked at them blankly. “It’s just a chair.” Frisk deflated and turned away. It was cute that they were trying to cheer Chara up, but the ghost child was not in the mood to be consoled. Every moment they were in this house was agony; it felt like their heart was trying to burst through their ribcase and straight out of their chest. They wished they were anywhere but here.

They narrated the contents of the dresser as Frisk rummaged through. “The clothes drawer contains various shirts, pants, socks, and-”

* * *

 “ _A gift?” Asgore shifted in his chair and put down his pen to take the offered box. “For me?”_

_Chara nodded, one foot behind their opposite ankle. “You’ve all been so nice to me and even gave me a birthday party, so I thought I’d get you all something. I’ve only finished yours for now… I hope you like it.”_

_The box was unwrapped, with a single ribbon keeping the lid on. Asgore untied the ribbon and opened the box, pulling out the fabric inside. He unfolded it to reveal a pink sweater, perfectly sized for the massive King of the Monsters._

“ _Oh!” Toriel said. “Is this why you asked me to teach you how to knit? My, this is very good! It must have taken you a long time to finish a sweater that size!”_

 _Asgore stared at the front of the sweater, pleased but slightly puzzled. Chara’s smile began to droop downward. Oh no, he didn’t remember. He doesn’t like it. He thinks it’s ugly. I screwed up. Just then Asgore’s eyes twinkled and the corners of his mouth peeled back a split second before he leaned his head back and laughed. Relief washed over Chara. “The lettering!” he said between chuckles. “Remember, that musical tape from the surface? And there was a song about me on it?_ Mr. Dad Guy/Yes I’m everybody’s Mr. Dad Guy/Can’t you see/This is my destiny _…”_

“ _Yes Gorey,” Toriel said with a patient smile, patting his knee. “I remember.”_

_Asgore immediately put the sweater over his head and shuffled into it, pulling on the hem. “A perfect fit! Oh, it’s so comfortable, and I can feel myself warming up already. Thank you Chara!” He held out his hand palm down. Chara blushed and lowered their head, allowing Asgore to pat their hair gently. “I will treasure it always.”_

_(it hurts)_

_Chara nodded, smiling so much their face was starting to hurt. “You’re welcome… Mr. Dad Guy.” That drew a fresh round of chuckles from the king and an affectionate eyeroll from the Queen. For the first time they thought to themself maybe it would not be impossible. Maybe they could have a home here. Maybe… maybe they could be a Dreemurr after all._

* * *

 “… and a pink hand knit sweater that says ‘Mr. Dad Guy’.”

They did not need to say anything else. Frisk put the sweater down, closed the drawer, and walked out of the room. “I’m sorry,” they said. “I’ll stop. We’ll get the key and go.” The key rested on an end table at the end of the hallway, just in front of a mirror. Frisk grabbed the key but could not resist looking into the mirror. They looked a bit different from how they did when they first fell; lines of worry and fatigue criss-crossed their face and their eyes were puffy from either not enough sleep or poor sleep. Despite being recently cleaned at MTT Resort their clothes had a number of scratches, holes, and bare patches. There were even scorch marks from Toriel’s fire so long ago. Had it really only been a day?

Chara forced a smile to their face. “Despite everything,” they said, not bothering to conceal their emotions. “It’s still you.” Frisk nodded resolutely, finding some new strength within them, before returning to the entryway.

As the undid the latches footsteps came up behind them. When they turned there were monsters of all sorts. “Oh!” said a Whimsalot in front. “Hail and well met! Have you come to see the king?”

Frisk nodded, looking over the newcomers nervously. “Are… are you here to stop me?”

“Stop you?” the Whimsalot said with a barking laugh. “Perish the thought! Our liege meets with everyone who comes to visit. We would be turned out at once if we kept anyone away! We are but humble servants of his, come to do our daily rounds. We keep the house nice for him. Well, as nice as he wishes it. Everything needs to be placed just so. If a picture should be a little slanted, it must remain slanted. A few of the items scattered about must not be put away. While somewhat lax in other areas, he is extremely particular about his living space. Not one would blame him for that, though.” They noted Frisk’s confusion. “Oh! You must be a student, studying the history of our Kingdom. Isn’t that right?”

“Something like that,” Frisk said. Not technically a lie.

“In that case, let us walk you to the Last Hallway. Petitioners must cross it alone by tradition, but we can tell you the story along the way. The story of our kingdom, and why the house must remain like this.”

Chara squeezed their eyes shut. They did not want to hear this. They did not want to hear any of this. But there was no polite way to refuse, and Frisk was too interested to decline. Frisk walked down the stairs, the servant monsters crowding around them, taking turns to tell the story as Frisk walked along with them down the stairs, through the hallway, and across the balcony overlooking the capital. It was a story of a human child and the prince Asriel. A story of friendship. A story of an illness. A story of a tragedy. It was all too familiar to Chara. They put their hands over their ears and squeezed their eyes shut, but it was useless. They could not block out the words, and they could not stop the memories from bubbling up within them. They repeated the story Chara had told Toriel and Asgore with Asriel’s own mouth moments before they died. They exhaled. At least the monsters knew what a true prince Asriel was. What a true friend and humanitarian he had been to the very end.

Within moments they reached the part of the story Chara did not know: “The whole kingdom fell into despair. The king and queen had lost both their children in one night. Asriel, the one who would lead us to prosperity. Chara, the one who would forge peace between the races. Once again the humans had stolen our future from us. In all the years of our imprisonment, humanity had not changed. And so the king decided it was time to end our suffering. From that day forth, every human who falls down must pay for the crimes of their race. They must die. With seven human souls Asgore will become as a god. He will break the barrier and wage war against humanity. He will give us hope. He will set us free. He will save us all. So don’t look so sad, little one. You should be excited. Very soon, all of us, all the monsters are going to be free.”

They reached the end of the corridor. The monsters bid Frisk farewell and started the long trek back to New Home. Frisk waved until they were out of sight, then turned toward Chara. “Are you okay?” they asked in a quiet whisper, like they were afraid their friend would shatter if they spoke too loudly.

Chara’s smile felt queasy and their entire body was shaking. They made a short laugh, but it was a mocking laugh pointed inward. It steadily rose in volume and intensity, until their sides hurt and their legs buckled. They fell to their knees, still laughing. “Ha ha ha ha, _ahahahaha!_ How c-curious. I should have realized it some time ago. It’s obvious, but I did not want to consider it. The king and queen separating, monsters becoming violent, Asgore killing children… all of it. From the very beginning it was all my fault.”

Frisk gave them a kind smile and stepped toward them. “Chara, you know that’s not true. Even if you were involved, it wasn’t your choice to-”

“Stay back!” The force and violence of the scream pushed Frisk into the guardrail. Chara was wearing a completely different expression than the clever smile they had plastered on their face up until now. Their eyes were wide with dark rings around them, the pupils little more than pinpricks despite the dimness of the underground. Their ashen lips were slightly parted, revealing two rows of tightly clenched teeth. Their body’s vibrations were even more pronounced now, as if trying to pull itself apart. As they spoke a blackness spread through their eyes like ink being poured into a water glass. “Even the monsters don’t know what we did… what _I_ did. If only I hadn’t eaten those flowers. Or if I never spoke to Asriel, or if I’d fallen asleep and never woken up after falling down here, or if I hadn’t run away, or…”

Chara hugged themselves and doubled over, touching their forehead to the ground. “I should never have been born. If I didn’t exist they’d still be a family and they’d all be happy. They were the best thing that ever happened to me and… and I ruined it. I ruined everything.”

Frisk swallowed hard. They reached out a hand toward their friend, stepping forward gingerly. “Please don’t say things like that. They loved you and would never have wished for a world without you. None of what happened is your fau-”

Chara burst into a ragged scream, “What do you know?! _You weren’t there!_ ”

* * *

  _Their body walked out through the barrier, feeling nothing more than a slight tingle. They were on a cliff overlooking the countryside, vast forests beneath them. In the distance they could see the roads and sparse buildings of Weymouth, not yet awake. The countryside was bathed in a pale light even though the sky above them was still dark; the sun must have been rising behind the mountain. They had been too late to see the stars and came out in the wrong direction to watch the sunrise. Asriel did not notice or care about their poor fortune; they were looking about in wide-eyed wonder, mouth agape. “What is that smell?” Asriel asked, taking a couple exaggerated sniffs. “It’s nice.”_

‘ _Mold,’ Chara said in their inner voice. They could speak with Asriel by… “thinking at him”, was the best way they could describe it. It was easier to do than explain. ‘It must have just stopped raining not more than a couple hours ago. Rain causes a certain type of mold to release its spores, and that’s what makes it smell good after the rain. Don’t worry, it’s not dangerous or anything.’ They turned their body’s head toward the village. ‘There’s where I lived. Do you see that field of yellow? Those are the golden flowers. Let’s head there first.’ Asriel agreed, leaping off the cliff with Chara’s corpse in his arms. Their body was larger than they expected; they had not thought to look in a mirror before leaving, but they could easily cradle their old body in one arm. It was much stronger and faster, too. They could feel in their bones, a fall like this was nothing. They landed as gently as a leaf and took off running, traveling in great leaps and bounds. In only minutes they had covered the distance which had taken Chara nearly two hours when they did it on their weak human legs two years ago._

_The field of flowers was surrounded by a chain-link fence. Chara extended the claws on their free hand and slashed at the fence. The interwoven metal threads parted with hardly a squeal of protest. Then they peeled back one side of the fence to make an opening. They probably could have leapt over the fence, true, but it being raised in the first place had been an insult to Chara. They were happy to get rid of it. Asriel did not ask nor complain; he took control of the legs and walked through, redistributing the corpse’s weight among both their hands to reverently carry Chara into the field of flowers._

‘ _They’re beautiful…’ Asriel said, taking careful steps to avoid crushing any of the blooms. ‘I see why you like these flowers so much.’_

‘ _Yeah,’ Chara said. ‘Let’s bury my body here. I can’t think of a better place to put it to rest.’ That was right; their soul would free the monsters. It would stay with Asriel forever. Their body would feed the flowers, join with the flowers, become the flowers. Their body would stay here forever, in the place on the surface they loved more than anywhere else._

_Before Asriel could put down the body and start digging a scream rang out. Asriel turned toward the source; the destruction of the fence had attracted a crowd, filing through the hole to see who or what could have done such a thing. They stayed some distance away, watching Asriel through wide eyes. Asriel lifted a hand in greetings. “Hello, everyone. My name is-”_

“ _It has a child!” someone shouted. “It’s killed a child!” The crowd’s murmurs took on a more menacing tone, rising to shouts of outrage. Some of them retreated briefly to their trucks for rifles, others brandished their pistols menacingly._

_Asriel looked down at the body in his arms. ‘They think I killed you? But I’d never hurt anyone, you least of all!’_

‘ _Humans don’t care about the truth,’ Chara thought with a snarl. ‘They don’t know who I am and they never cared about me when I was alive. They only care now because it gives them an outlet for their hate and guilt. They’re trying to shift the blame for my death to you. They won’t listen to a word you say.’_

_Asriel did not know how to begin arguing against that. ‘Then we’ll have to run.’ Chara thought back an affirmative, taking one last look at the crowd._

_Perhaps the two of them still could have escaped if only Chara had not seen them. There, at the edge of the crowd, two people watched the commotion with blank expressions. A man and a woman Chara recognized, for how could they forget them even after years underground? Those People lowered their gaze to the body in Asriel’s arms. They must have seen it, and they must have recognized it. Chara’s attention was focused entirely on the two of them, waiting for the moment their expression changed. Would they show sadness? Anger? Or perhaps relief? Chara realized they were holding their breath. It should not matter to them what Those People thought. And yet it did, didn’t it? These are the fruits of your cruelty. These are the results of your actions. You are not above the consequences._ Look at what you’ve done.

_The man and the woman stared for a long moment, as if contemplating something. Then, without exchanging a word or allowing their facade to so much as crease, they turned their backs and walked away._

_At first Chara was confused. Nothing? Those People looked at a dead child, their own flesh and blood, and they thought nothing of what they pushed them into? All their life, all their suffering, all the torment and misery and alienation that had been heaped upon them, all the hurtful bruises and even more damaging words… had meant nothing at all._

_Chara felt something break, and a light shone somewhere in their mind. It all seemed so simple now. There was nothing more to be afraid of._

‘ _Actually, let’s finish the plan,’ they told Asriel. ‘We’re getting those souls right now.’ Before Asriel could argue Chara grabbed control of one of his arms and pointed it towards the villagers. An ocean of souls appeared, all different colors, as their magic field engulfed them all. A stream of fireballs shot out, but at the last moment the attack flew up into the air and detonated as fireworks. The villagers yelled, screamed, covered their ears and ducked their heads, but not one of them was hurt._

_Asriel mentally shouted, ‘Chara, what are you doing?! You have to be more careful, if I didn’t change your aim you could have really hurt someone! With the power we have now we might even kill them!’_

‘ _Good.’_

‘ _What… did you say?’ Asriel’s voice was weak and shaky. Chara was sure he was making their body’s eyes tear up. That crybaby, couldn’t they see this was not the time for that?_

_They sighed as if speaking with a child. ‘Ree, I don’t think you really understand what’s going on here. Humans are the worst creatures in the world. They’re petty, cruel, ignorant, and hateful. They see something that doesn’t fit in and they destroy it. But they are also many, and they are strong. Monsters are kind, loving, caring, and gentle… but they are weak, and they are few. Even one human could kill dozens of monsters, and there are billions of them on the surface. If the barrier comes down the war will start again. But humans don’t have magic anymore. They can’t put up a new barrier so they won’t have a merciful option. Monsters would be wiped out in an instant, they don’t stand a chance. But monsters are the only people that have ever shown me love, and I don’t want to live in a world without love. I want the monsters to live even if it means humans don’t._

‘ _That’s why!’ Chara’s voice rose to a shout. Their words tumbled out faster than they could think them, being fueled by something deep and dark and inexhaustible. ‘It has to be us, and it has to be now! With your magic and my will, we can take more souls. Each one will add to our power, and with just the souls of this village we’ll be unstoppable. None of the humans will be able to oppose us. They deserve it for locking up monsters and forgetting them; all these centuries and they don’t show the slightest regret or remorse. They don’t even remember what they’ve done. They don’t deserve to live if all they’re good for is stamping out love. Harden your heart, Ree. Don’t feel any pity for these despicable creatures.’ They raised the body’s arm, gathering power for another attack. ‘If we want to make a world safe for monsters, the only thing we can do for humans is to **kill every last one of them!** ’_

“ _NO!”_

_Chara found themself unable to move. The body was trapped between two competing desires, Fight and Escape, and so it did nothing. The humans recovered from their shock and surged forward, forming a firing line. They were only moments away from shooting. Fear mixing with their hate, Chara tried to use magic but was blocked again. ‘If you’re not going to help me then at least stay out of it! Stop it!’_

‘ _No you stop it!’ Asriel replied. ‘We can’t hurt them, they’re just scared!’_

_The first pistol shot was fired. The body wracked with pain as white hot fire exploded in their shoulder. Dust flew into the air from the wound. ‘Ree, please, they’re hurting us! We have to fight back! We have to kill them, or we’re going to be killed!’_

‘ _We have to run away!’ Asriel screamed. ‘I don’t want to kill anyone!’_

‘ _You… you coward! Running away won’t solve anything! It won’t free anyone! What are we even doing here if we’re not going to get the souls?!’_

‘ _I don’t know! You’re the one who wanted to come here!’_

_The men and women with the rifles had returned, and they all started firing at once. Asriel turned his back, shielding Chara’s corpse with his own body so it would not be hit. Dozens of bullets, each filled with the deadly power of human hatred, riddled his back. How many would it take to kill him? Chara had no idea. But still he moved without thinking, sacrificing his own body to protect that spent, useless shell that used to be Chara’s home. Chara felt numb. Why would he do that? That body was nothing. It did not matter whether it got shot or how many bullets it took, it would change nothing. If anything Asriel should be hiding behind it, letting it absorb some of the bullets for him. Instead he-_

_They were not fighting Asriel for control anymore. He leapt into the air, moving laterally from the crowd. Within two bounds he reached the fence, and with a third cleared an undamaged section. The moment he landed his legs were moving again, loping along the countryside faster than any vehicle could follow, back the way he came. Back to the mountain._

‘ _Ree,’ Chara thought. ‘Oh god, Ree. You’ve been shot, this body is dying, I can feel it dying! Why did you take all those bullets to protect my body? Why didn’t you fight back? What were you thinking?!’_

‘ _I couldn’t do it,’ Asriel thought back. ‘This… this is all a mistake. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Let’s go back, Chara. I don’t want to do this plan anymore, not if it means we have to kill people.’_

‘ _But people have to die for us to take their souls! That was the fastest way! How could you come this far and only now get cold feet?’_

‘ _I didn’t know you were planning on killing them!’_

‘ _I didn’t either! It just happened that way, okay?! I didn’t expect to be here after I died, I didn’t know I’d maintain my own consciousness after you absorbed me! I thought I was just going to give you the power to do what you needed to! God, the whole plan was screwed from the start. I’m trying the best I can, but I didn’t need you sabotaging me just when I was figuring things out! If you were going to be such a wimp, you should have told me about that before-’_

‘ _It’s not wimpy to not want to kill people who are scared for their lives! We could have talked, we could have understood each other! If you hadn’t attacked them we could have ended it without violence and we wouldn’t be in this mess!’_

_Chara could not believe what they were hearing. ‘Are… are you blaming me? After everything I did? I died for you. I gave my everything to you. I loved you!’ Hot bitter tears wet their body’s cheeks. ‘You only had to do one thing. You said you would never doubt me. And you… I thought you were different. I thought you were better. But you’re just like everyone else! They all betray me in the end, no one ever takes my side when it really matters!’_

‘ _That’s… that’s not fair, Chara! Of course I love-’_

‘ _Shut up shut up shut up! It’s all lies! I don’t want to hear it! I never should have trusted you!_ I HATE YOU! _’_

_Neither of them said anything for a long time. Even though it only took minutes to climb back up the mountain it felt ten times that long. They reached the cliff where the cave entrance was, leading back to the barrier and the entrance of New Home. ‘It’ll be okay,’ Asriel said as they pushed through the barrier, not quite believing it himself. ‘We’ll talk to Dad, he’ll know what to do. He can find a way to fix me up, and he can even put your soul back in your body. I know he can! We just have to… make it back.’_

_No, he could not. Chara knew that in their heart. Asriel was about to die. Chara was about to die again. And Asriel would die thinking their friend hated them._

_That was when the enormity of what they had done finally struck Chara. It had all gone wrong. They had broken their home. They had killed their best friend. They had made humanity afraid of monsters again. They had only been trying to help. Instead, they had…_

… _They had done what demons always did._

* * *

Frisk recoiled, gasping in shock. They had seen it. They saw it all. Their great mistake, their unforgivable sin. Chara could feel their true face showing. Two empty ragged holes where their eyes should have been, dark and cold and empty. Their mouth twisted into a black abyss, swallowing all light and letting nothing escape. The gaping holes changed their shape slightly, now appearing to vaguely resemble a face of regret. “Now you know what I really am: a demon who brings misery and pain to everyone they love. This is my true shape.” How could they deny it now?

The child’s lip trembled. They were trying to smile but their face refused to comply. “Y… you were just upset. You weren’t in control. You were trying to help-”

“Oh, it’s all okay then!” Chara giggled, their smile carved into their face like a jack-o-lantern. “It’s all just fine and dandy that I killed my best friend, broke up his family, and turned monsters into murderers, because I had good intentions!” Their smile curled into a hateful sneer. “ _No I didn’t_. I brought my body to the surface to punish the humans who pushed me that far, and when they wouldn’t accept responsibility I tried to kill them all. Not just the people who hurt me, not just the people in the village, _everyone!_ If Asriel hadn’t stopped me I would have destroyed humanity and let him take the blame for it. I wasn’t thinking of the monsters or Asriel or the people who loved me at all. All I wanted to do was hurt people! Nothing I did was for a ‘good reason,’ and even if it was there’s no way that justifies attempted fucking genocide!” They shook their head, the last embers of their anger and life leaving with a shaky breath. “Whatever. I’m tired of denying it. I’m tired of being a curse and a burden. There’s only a little bit left to go, Frisk. You… don’t need my help anymore.” They felt their body growing thinner, and watched as their hands became more and more transparent. Ah, they were fading. That was good. “You’ll be better off without me. So… take care. And remember, don’t feel sorry for-”

“Please don’t go.”

Chara craned their neck up, the holes in their face gaping impossibly large. “What?”

Frisk met Chara’s eyes, staring into the abyss without fear. “Stay with me, Chara.”

Chara tried to laugh but it came out as a cough. “Frisk, were you not paying attention? Did you misunderstand? Don’t you get it by now?! I’m a demon! I don’t mean for bad things to happen, but whenever I’m around nothing goes well! Those People were right, they were right all along! Just being around me is dangerous. I killed my parents, I killed my best friend, and I’ll kill you too! I can’t take it any more, Frisk! You have to be the angel that frees the monsters, you can’t let yourself get killed by a demon!”

Tears formed in Frisk’s eyes but for the moment they kept them from falling. “I’m not an angel,” they said definitively. “And you’re not a demon. We’re kids. Lonely, confused, hurt, scared _kids_. It’s not fair to ask us to save the monsters, not when we’re only here because our own problems were too much for us already. But we’re here. So if we fall down we have to pick each other back up. No one else will do it for us. Maybe I don’t have the right to forgive you, but I’ll still be your friend even if bad things have happened to you and you’ve done bad things too. Even if the whole world hates you, even if you hate you, I’ll still love you. The world would be empty without you. I can’t do this if you’re not with me. So please, even if only for me, Chara… please stay. I want you to live.”

Chara knew then they couldn’t do it. It made them sick to the pit of their stomach, but they could not choose to vanish like this, with Frisk begging them so strongly and so sincerely. Frisk was such an idiot, they did not realize what they were asking. They were asking Chara to doom Frisk to misery just so Chara could enjoy their company for a little longer. That was what people never understood about suicide; it was an act of selflessness. The desire for it came with the realization that the people in your life would be happier without you. Oh, they might be sad in the immediate aftermath. But in the long run everything would be so much better for you not being there. They would never argue suicide was not a conceited act. Even if it was a warped form of it, it was certainly a type of arrogance to believe you were so innately poisonous your mere presence could ruin lives. But selfish? No, not in their experience.

Chara sobbed into their knees. Somehow, they would have to keep it together. Just a bit longer. Either to get them through the barrier, or until Asgore accepted Frisk as a member of the Underground. As long as they could do that everything else would work out. No one single moment was unendurable. It was when they poked their head up, trying to see weeks or years in the future and contemplated the act of willpower necessary to go for that long that they would be crushed under the weight. So don’t think about the next week, or the next day, or even the next minute. Just focus on now. One moment to the next. They could do that. They spared no thought for how long they would have to do it for. Just do it for one minute. That was all they had to do, all they had to focus on. The next minute they would deal with when it arrived.

They did not know how long they were like that for. It may have been ten minutes or an hour or maybe longer. But when Chara wiped the last remnants of an unidentifiable black gunk from their face Frisk was still sitting beside them patiently. Chara did not deserve their love. But they were glad for it. They only hoped Frisk would not regret their selfishness. They could only say, “I… I don’t d-deserve… your kindness, F-Frisk.”

Frisk continued smiling. “No one gets what they deserve, Chara. I think you know that better than me.”

“… I won’t say I’m okay,” they said, rising into the air again. “I know I’m not. And I don’t see any way I could ever forgive myself. Even if we free the monsters it won’t make up for everything. But I won’t disappear. As long as you remain in the Underground, as long as you need me, I’ll be with you. I promise.”

Frisk nodded. “I’m glad,” they said. “If you ever need to talk, even if just to vent, I’ll be here for you.”

For a moment they actually considered it. Instead they reasoned they had dumped enough of their emotional baggage on Frisk for right now. They had no shortage of their own problems, their upcoming meeting with Asgore most immediately. “Thank you,” they said instead.

* * *

For the longest time Chara always thought the Last Hallway was regal and impressive. They did not realize until just now how ominous it could be. Light as bright as a noonday sun blazed through the windows, the gold tiling sparkling magnificently. Pillars rose all the way up to the ceiling, ushering through visitors like a line of knights welcoming a head of state. Chara had never thought about it when it was part of their home, but the size and opulence of the hall was awe-inspiring to see as a guest. And that was awe in the original meaning of the word, “reverence mixed with fear”. How could anyone not be intimidated by someone who had a room like this in their house, regardless of how cozy the rest of it was.

“You finally made it.”

Frisk and Chara both started on hearing an unfamiliar voice. Ahead of them a figure waited in the shadow of a pillar. Frisk swallowed. “Who…?”

“Soon you will meet the king,” the figure continued, ignoring the question. “Together you will determine the future of this world. But first, there is one last obstacle to overcome. I am the judge. Every action you have taken since you arrived in the Underground shall be weighed, so we may see the content of your character. The EXP you have earned shall be our witnesses. EXP is an acronym, you see. It stands for ‘execution points’. Every time you kill someone, it leaves a mark on your soul. Every time you inflict pain, your EXP increases. And when you have enough, your LOVE increases. LOVE stands for ‘Level of Violence’. It is your capacity to hurt others, and resist being hurt yourself. The more you distance yourself, the easier it becomes to inflict pain or death.” He paused to let that sink in. Then he stepped forward, into the light.

Chara gasped. “Sans?!”

It was Sans, a dopey smile on his face. “but you never gained any LOVE,” he said in his usual voice. “through all the hardships you faced, you kept a certain tenderness in your heart. that doesn’t mean you never did anything bad. nobody’s a saint. but you never stopped trying to do the right thing, and that counts for a lot in my book. let me be honest with you, kid. i’m not supposed to let anybody past me. never ever. that’s what my predecessor taught me to do. it would be a mercy. if you face asgore, you’ve got two choices.” He held up two fingers. “one: kill him, take his soul, and leave the underground. you can go home, but monsters will remain trapped underground. two: refuse to fight, let him become a god, and he’ll wipe out humanity.” He dropped his hand and closed his eyes. “but i’m letting you go on, because somehow… i know you’ll find a way to fix this. i believe you can find a way to let everyone get a happy ending. so go on, with my blessing. i’m putting all my hopes on you, kid.” Sans stepped out of the way, welcoming Frisk to continue down the hall.

Frisk nodded, a burst of determination welling up from within them. “Thanks, Sans. I won’t let you down.”

Before they could take a step Sans held out a hand to stop them. “one more thing. outside of my, uh, official duties. i saw that little display out there. didn’t mean to pry, but its not too far from my station here and… well, you know. did you and your friend get in a fight?” He paused. Frisk made no move to answer. “well, that’s not my business. it helped me confirm something though. that friend you were talking about, the ghost that’s hanging around you…” Sans turned toward Frisk; his eyesockets drooped and his smile looked very fragile indeed. “it’s chara, isn’t it?”

Chara felt their heart leap into their throat. Frisk looked up at them for permission to confirm or deny, and all they could do was give a tiny nod. No point in hiding it now. Frisk tried to smile at Sans but it did not come out right. “How could you tell?”

He shrugged. “it wasn’t hard, once i thought about it. monsters don’t leave ghosts after they die, ghost monsters are a different species entirely. but a human ghost? i’ve heard they’re basically the remnants of a soul left by a dead human. there were six humans that knew Gaster, but we know where the souls of five of them are. kinda narrows it down.” Sans sighed. “bet they’re disappointed in me. they always had a strong sense of right and wrong. solid morals. for a long time i thought if there was anything to that ‘soul color’ theory they’d be blue, not red. and i don’t need them to tell me i let ‘em down.” He kicked at an imaginary pebble. “i promised them i’d be a good scientist, and even succeed dr. gaster. i did try. oh did i try. but eventually i learned i wasn’t up to that task, nor was dr. gaster something i really wanted to be.”

“I’m sure you tried your best,” Frisk attempted to console him. “What made you give up?”

“lots of things. gaster disappearing the way he did, that was the beginning of the end. i tried to get him back but nothing worked. then i had pap to worry about, and… well, i just ran outta gas. you know what my HP is, my hope? one. getting spit on would splatter me. wouldn’t be weird if i just laid down and died at any moment.”

“Chara said you had some… something wrong. Like you were sick or something, and that’s why you couldn’t fight. They wouldn’t tell me what it was, just that I would never have to fear you.”

Sans nodded. “probably thought it would be impolite to go into detail. well, it’s like this: some monsters, when they put too much effort into something or fight too hard, start to lose their physical shape. eventually it will kill them. we used to call it ‘meltdown’.” Frisk’s ears perked up. “but thanks to dr. alphys we understand the mechanisms of it and have a more scientific name for it now: chronic consilicytosis, or C3. monster bodies can’t handle determination. we aren’t solid enough to keep hold of it. monsters with C3, they can naturally generate more determination than they can safely handle. that’s what i have. let me be clear, it’s not a superpower that lets me go ‘beyond my limits’ like in cartoons, it means i can’t tell where my limits are until i literally fall apart. imagine if you were completely unable to feel pain; in no time at all you’d get banged up and possibly dead from fatal wounds you never knew you had. it’s like that. if i get in a real battle i’ll probably die afterward even if i win. between that and my low hope i never bothered learning how to fight.”

Frisk held up a finger. “Before you go… you said you thought Chara should have a blue soul ‘for a long time’. What changed your mind?”

Sans laughed. “kid, if you had ever seen chara around the prince, you would know their soul was made of love.” He winked. “did that do it? are they blushing?”

Frisk checked; Chara reflexively hid their face behind their hands. “Their cheeks are always kinda red,” they hedged.

“yeah,” Sans said wistfully. “they really are, aren’t they. oh, and one last thing. though…” Sans tapped his slippered foot to an inaudible beat. “i don’t know if it’s a good idea to tell you. not sure if you’re ready for it.”

“Could-”

Sans threw up his hands. “alright, you talked me into it. it has to do with your SOUL. that’s an acronym, too.” He paused meaningfully. “it stands for, ‘Soul, Only in Uppercase Letters’.” He winked. “anyway, good luck kid. we’re all counting on you.” He walked behind a pillar and the schuff-schuff of his slippers dragging across the floor vanished.

Chara watched him disappear behind a pillar and let their anger melt away. They had all failed in their own way, but none of the three friends had failed as profoundly as Chara had. They did not have the right to blame him any more. They only wished there was some way of telling him not to worry anymore. That he could stop carrying that weight.

Frisk looked over at Chara as they walked down the hall, their footsteps echoing. “I don’t want to fight him, but I don’t want to die either. There has to be some way to stop him without killing him.”

Chara averted their eyes. “He is the kind of person who, if he touched a hot stove, would touch it again just to prove the first time wasn’t an accident. Frisk, if what the other monsters said is true, he…” They swallowed. “He’s killed six children already. He must feel like he can’t back down, or he would have to admit those six murders were a mistake. For all his good points, he’s too timid to do that and too proud to back down. It would destroy him to accept he made such a huge error.”

Frisk’s shoulders sagged from the weight placed upon them. “Does that really mean… there’s no other way?”

“I don’t know. But he won’t be like any opponent you’ve faced so far. He has actually killed people. He won’t need to convince himself to do it, and he won’t show any hesitation. Frisk, you could really die. And no matter what… even if he comes at you with everything he has… I don’t want that. Even more than I want to see the barrier broken and monsters go free, I absolutely don’t want you to die!”

“Then I have no choice.” Frisk beamed with a confident smile and held up their fist. “No matter what, I’ll win this. I’ll stop Asgore, and break the barrier, and do it all with love, not LOVE!”

Chara made a face. “Ugh, that is so cheesy…”

“C’mon, Chara! I’m trying to get eggsited!”

“But being earnest is laaaaame…” Frisk shook their head and sighed, but they were still smiling. Ah, they were finally getting used to Chara’s style of humor. They would make a good audience out of them yet.

Frisk walked past the door leading to the garden. “Where are you going?” Chara asked. “It’s just a basement down there. Asgore stored most of his gardening tools.” Frisk continued unperturbed, eager to put off meeting Asgore as long as possible.

When they reached the bottom of the steps they did not find gardening tools. Instead they found seven coffins lined up in a row, each with a different colored heart on the lid. Chara felt something like a heartbeat in their chest, except it hit with the force of a fist punching them from inside. They swallowed and looked over the coffin. “There’s a name written here… ‘Chara’.”

“… Your coffin?”

Chara stuck their head through the lid and retracted it almost as quickly. “Weird. My body isn’t there, just some wrappings. I know Asriel made it back to the garden, so where did my body go?”

“You think there would be anything left of it, after all this time?”

“There should still be dust or dirt or bone fragments or _something_. It’s only been thirty years, I don’t think bodies decompose _that_ fast.” They closed their eyes and waved a hand over the lid. “I must have been in here at some point. The only thing I can think of while looking at it is this vague feeling that it isn’t very comfortable.”

Frisk smiled nervously. “That isn’t funny.”

“Sorry.” Chara swallowed. “Frisk, there’s something else. These other coffins…”

“They’re for the other children.”

“No… well, yes, they are. But there’s a trace of something. Only the barest glimmer now, but I can feel it. I can feel _me_.”

Frisk turned to them in alarm. “Chara?”

“I had a nightmare, or something like it, in Snowdin. I was with other kids, walking through familiar hallways. Telling them how things work in the underground and helping them out. And then I die. I was with all of them and I failed them. Always at the same place, out there on the balcony. I think I’ve been here before. I’ve learned the same things. And I reacted the same way. But the other kids, they couldn’t save me. You’re the only one. That must be why there’s so little left of my soul now. They took pieces of me with them, and we failed.” They rubbed their face. “So no matter what, you can’t fail here. You can’t die.” Frisk nodded. Now there really was nothing to do but enter the garden and meet the King.

Chara gasped when they saw the garden. The variety they remembered was gone. No tulips, no roses, no gardenias in neat little rows. The area all around the throne was a vast field of golden flowers, growing wherever they liked. The queen’s throne had been shoved back against the wall and covered with a white sheet. Toriel was not dead, no, but she would never return. Asgore stood in the middle of the garden, humming to himself as he watered the flowers. They could not tell what he was wearing; his massive cloak hid his entire body from view. “Just a minute,” he called without looking over his shoulder. “I will be with you as soon as I’m finished watering these flowers.” He emptied the can with a final spray and set it down, looking over his handiwork. He turned and clapped his hands, a friendly smile on his face. “Now then, what can I-”

Every doubt Chara had about Asgore vanished in the next split second. If Asgore had really become a heartless murderer they should have been overjoyed, or grim, or at least knowing to see the last human soul he needed. Instead he leapt backward in sheer horror, a grimace on his face and a hand out to steady himself, knocking over the watering can in his haste. It was not true. Toriel was wrong. Asgore did not want to kill anyone. He was still the same man as before. They felt no relief about this. It only made the situation more wretched. Frisk usually greeted people with an attempted handshake or a shy wave of their hand. But with Asgore they simply looked up at him imploringly, corners of their mouth turned down.

Asgore recovered, trying and failing to regain his dignity. “… I so badly want to say, ‘would you like a cup of tea?’”

Frisk tried to force a smile. “I’d really like that, Mr. Asgore.”

His face twisted in sorrow. “But… you know how it is. You know what we must do.”

“We don’t have to.”

Asgore could only hang their head. “It’s such a nice day outside. This is the only place in the kingdom the rays of the sun actually touch. This is the only place we can get the barest whiff of the outside world. The only way we can tell the passing of the seasons.” He turned his back on them. “Come to the back room, when you are ready. We’ll meet in front of the barrier to… decide this.” He disappeared through the doorway.

God, Chara hated this. It was unfair for their father figure and the only good human to fight. Neither of them deserved to die, especially not over something as stupid as Chara’s own death. They wished they had a power like Frisk’s. They would have gone back in a heartbeat. Drop the plan, forget about buttercups and the surface and everything else. But wishing did not make it so. No one was above the consequences. Chara had no choice but to accept theirs. They felt the blackness encroach behind their face and bit it back. No. After everything they had done the last thing they deserved was pity. If their punishment was to watch two of their favorite people try to kill each other, they would take every last bit of it. They could do nothing else.

Frisk approached the doorway and a well of determination sprung up within them, the sign they were Saving. Frisk shifted in place and Chara felt their heart drop. That was a Load. That meant… he did it. Asgore really killed them. He killed Frisk. “You don’t have to explain anything to me,” they said to encourage them after their most recent death. “Do whatever you feel you have to.” How many times had they died? Chara had no way of knowing. It could have been the first, or fifth, or tenth. But no matter how many times it took, they could not let Frisk give up.

Frisk whirled toward them, surprised. They stared for a long moment, open mouthed. Then they swung their fist directly at Chara’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: The song Asgore butchers is Mr. Bad Guy by Queen. But you knew that already because you listen to Queen, don’t you? Of course you do.  
> Typically fanfic writers name the place Frisk and Chara came from “Ebott Town” or “Ebott City” or something of the like, but in the real world it’s rare to name a town after a nearby mountain or vice versa. In my headcanon Mt. Ebott is part of the White Mountain range in west-by-northwest New Hampshire. This is partly because Toby Fox’s bandcamp page lists his home as Boston, Massachusetts so he would be familiar with these mountains and may have been thinking of them specifically when writing Undertale, but mostly because I happen to live in New Hampshire; good writing sense and laziness dictates I should write what I know. Many towns and cities in New England are named after English towns and cities. Weymouth is a real city name in both the UK and in certain US states but Weymouth, NH is fictional. This will be more relevant when I reach post-game content.  
> Just a heads-up, the next chapter is likely to be a contender for the shortest chapter I write for this entire work. There simply isn’t enough that happens to hit 6000 words if I end it at a good stopping point, and the whole thing would be way too long if I combine it with the chapter after it. No way around it. I guess it evens out; this is the longest chapter so far and likely the longest chapter there will be, so I hope it’s enough to tide you all over. See you next week!


	17. ASGORE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a king is met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Don’t be coy, you know what’s going to happen.

Asgore stood at the barrier, his back to Frisk. He appeared to be watching the shimmering wall, or perhaps looking through it to the twilight beyond. As Frisk entered he tapped the wall experimentally with a claw; the wall wavered like water after a pebble had been tossed in. His shoulders sagged, his back arched. The room had marble tiling and large pillars were erected at regular intervals, similar to the ones in the Final Hallway but much more drab.

“We don’t have to do this,” Frisk said as they walked forward. “I don’t want to fight you, and I can tell you don’t want to hurt anyone either. I know things look bad right now, but I’m sure there’s a way to make everyone happy! If we can just-”

“Human.”

Frisk stopped in their tracks, swallowing.

Asgore turned, facing them with a tired smile. He gestured with his hand and sections of the wall flipped to reveal cubbyholes with seven canisters, six of them with souls inside. The last one was empty. “It was nice to meet you. … Goodbye.” His head lowered, his face becoming impassive. With a flourish he created a blood-red trident in his hands. Frisk felt a familiar tug on the center of their chest as their soul appeared. So that was it. Asgore was determined to make this into a fight.

Chara’s face was lowered, their eyes watering. Frisk could swear their jaw was trembling, but they did not have the luxury of studying it in detail to make sure. They returned their gaze to Asgore, who was now only a few paces from being able to attack Frisk with the trident.

“Why does it have to be like this?” Frisk whispered. “I don’t unnerstand.” Asgore lunged forward, stabbing with their trident. Frisk leapt sideways and the trident stabbed into the ground, kicking up dirt and floor tiles. “I won’t fight you!” Asgore changed his grip and swung the trident sideways, forcing Frisk to dive to the floor to avoid it. Frisk scrambled to their feet and stomped their foot, the sound reverberating through the room. “STOP IT!” they shouted at the top of their lungs. “Nobody wants this, so stop fighting! Please!”

Asgore responded by hurling a stream of fireballs the size of Frisk’s torso. Frisk turned and ran, seeking shelter behind a stone pillar. Frisk cowered with their back to the pillar, shaking their head while fighting back sobs. “Why? Why won’t he just listen?”

Chara looked into their friend’s face with a sad smile. “It seems talking won’t do any more good. It’s okay, Frisk. I don’t blame you. You tried. All you can do is fight. Please, take out the knife. If you can weaken him, hurt him enough to stop him without killing him, that may be the only way to get him to listen.”

Attack… Asgore? That was their plan?! The image of Undyne, her fallen body melting into a sludge before disintegrating, popped into their mind’s eye. Frisk shook their head. “I don’t know if I can. Monsters are weak, right? What if I mess up and kill him? I can’t do it! I won’t do it!”

“Frisk, please! Do whatever you can to stay alive! That’s all I’m asking. If you have to kill him…” Their eyes watered, though they kept their voice even and their smile in place. “He made his choice. You have to make yours.” Their mouth suddenly opened in surprise; Frisk needed no more warning. They dived forward a split-second before the trident slammed into the pillar, sending debris and chunks of stone flying as the pillar was smashed into pieces with the force of a detonation. Frisk pulled the knife out of their pocket and struggled to undo the latch keeping the sheath in place. But before they could pull it off a fireball tore into their chest, enveloping their entire body in sweltering heat for a moment before their soul shattered.

* * *

“ _Chara!” Asgore’s voice said through the darkness. Oh, they only realized just now. This must have been Chara’s last moments. Sick in bed, the illness racing through their body, what might have become their adoptive family hovering over them. “You are the future of humans and monsters! You have to stay determined!”_

* * *

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” Chara said, finally recognizing a Load for what it was. “Do whatever you feel you have to.”

Frisk nodded, pulling out the knife. No messing around this time. If Asgore would not listen no matter what then they would start fighting right away. They strode through the doorway, knife in their left hand. As before, Asgore was in front of the barrier. As Frisk approached he turned; his eyes widened on seeing the knife and his trident appeared in his hands at once. Frisk dashed forward, springing on the balls of their feet. Asgore shot several fireballs at them, and Frisk skipped left and right to avoid them. Frisk was still a few paces away when the trident swooped in from the side and cut through their chest, bisecting their soul.

Next time they ducked low to avoid the trident swing, but they could not get low enough. The trident collided with the side of their head with enough force to knock them off their feet. Their immediate thought was, _Cartoons were right, you really do hear birds and see stars._ Their second thought was incoherent keening. They never felt the trident plunge through their chest, just the warm welcoming blackness of a Load and the pain fading.

The third attempt they tried to jump it, but they could not jump high enough and their shins got clipped. With their legs deadened and unable to support their weight, Asgore made short work of them.

The fourth time Frisk gave the trident wide berth, well aware the range of its stabs and swipes were much greater than the range of their own knife. Asgore had chosen his weapon well; when any hit was potentially fatal it became imperative to keep your opponent from ever getting that one hit. The trident capitalized on his already sizable reach advantage, and Frisk’s tiny limbs and small dagger only exacerbated the situation. Never mind the fireballs, with just the trident he could keep Frisk at bay indefinitely. At least until Frisk attempted to leap away from a trident strike and their back hit the wall unexpectedly. When had they gotten that close? They had no more time to think about that question before Asgore’s weapon claimed their life again.

And so it went. Again and again, never any meaningful progress, never landing a single hit. Frisk began approaching the fight in non-serious ways. They attempted to throw the knife for a quick kill; Asgore ducked his head out of the way like the barrier were a mirror and he could see every move Frisk made. They slashed at a fireball in the vain hope he could swat it back at Asgore like a tennis ball; it just exploded in their face, stunning them long enough for a follow-up to finish them. They told Asgore he had killed them more times than they could count; he looked sad for a moment but seemed to understand exactly what Frisk was saying. He knew about Loads? Interesting, but not relevant to their current problem with Asgore so it just made them mad.

And every time they died and came back to the same place, Chara offered the same “reassurance”. Whatever they felt they had to, they said. Did they really understand what they were giving Frisk permission to do? Frisk dragged their finger along the edge of the knife sheath in their pocket. At the very start they decided they were not going to hurt anyone if they did not have to. What of that promise now? It was possible they were now too weak to face Asgore. They were dimly aware they had only two options for how far to go back when they Loaded: either to their most recent Save, or all the way back. Back to the moment they first woke up in the field of flowers. To the moment they entered the Underground. They had never seriously considered it before, but the option was there. If they had hurt and killed monsters from the beginning they would be stronger than they were. It would not be so hard to raise the knife against Asgore, and perhaps they would be protected from his own blows. Even being able to survive one or two hits against their soul would give them some options. If they had more EXP and LOVE now, then perhaps Asgore would not be so…

They slapped a hand against their thigh. No. They were going to do this without LOVE. They had made a promise to Chara… was it hours ago? For Chara it must have only been minutes since they left the hall where they met Sans. This thought made them feel incredibly weary.

They could go someplace else, they thought. They could walk away. Asgore would not stop them. But they knew they could not. Too many people were waiting on the outcome of this battle. They could not postpone it for no good reason. If Asgore killed them and they lacked the will to come back for another try… well, that was an ending too. Perhaps not the ending Chara would have wished for, but at least Frisk would be at peace.

They rifled through their pockets and came up with a juice box. Sea Tea, Gerson had called it. He said it would put ‘pop to the stop’, or something like that. They shrugged; couldn’t hurt to try it. Frisk entered the barrier room, knife in one hand and juice box in the other. They cut the corner off the box with the knife; despite the dagger’s age and a few rough edges it slid through with only the barest effort. They poured the Sea Tea down their throat with a gulp, wiping their lips on their shirt as a burst of energy filled them. Chara could probably tell them what kind of magic this was but Frisk did not care in the slightest. What they cared about was how everything became sharper, clearer, their body more excited and alert. It felt like their legs began moving before Frisk had made the conscious decision for them to do so. Or was that muscle memory from how many times they had already died? They weaved between the streams of fire, closing in enough for Asgore to resort to the weapon. First a sideways slash, switch grip and go for a stab, follow it with fire, then a trident slam… Frisk knew his attacks inside and out, the exact order and range of each. There was one attack in particular they were waiting for… powered by the Sea Tea, they believed they would be able to dash in and strike during that one attack. It was just a matter of holding out until then.

Wave of fire, swing with the trident, roundhouse kick, surprise burst of fire behind the back, trident lunge, a punch with their free hand, each attack flowing into the next in smooth motions. What looked like an overextension was really bait, what looked like a straightforward attack was a clever trap. With what must have been centuries of experience Asgore was an unparalleled warrior. He would have been even better if his attention were not focused on Frisk’s feet. Even now, he hated this so much he could not look Frisk in the eye when trying to kill them. Asgore stabbed at Frisk with his trident, stabbing into the ground. It was not safe to approach, as the ground would erupt in fire in just a moment. However, this was the chance Frisk was waiting for. They leapt on top of the trident and ran up along the haft, dagger at the ready. He started in surprise and opened his mouth to breath fire, but he was a moment too late. Frisk leapt off the length of his trident and dug in, letting gravity add to their own strength as they dragged their knife from Asgore’s shoulder to their hip. Asgore cried out in pain and dropped their trident, falling to one knee.

Frisk leapt back, keeping their knife at the ready. Asgore stared forward with labored breaths, his eyes shining with recognition. He knew Chara was there, Frisk realized. He could not see Chara but he still knew somehow. Asgore chuckled to himself. “Ah. So… that is how it is.” He sighed deeply. “I am aware of the strange powers humans possess… the power to defy death and change fate. If you have hope, your will shall never falter, and no enemy shall prove a challenge to you. Only a complete, overwhelming attack with no hope of survival can defeat a human. From the moment my first attack failed I knew you would be victorious.” He paused, tears coming to his eyes. “Truthfully, I never wanted to hurt anyone. When my child died, the people lost all hope. Despair is deadly for us… my people were dying. In anger I swore revenge, and the people’s hopes returned. But my wife became disgusted with my actions and left without another word. My anger cooled, but I was trapped. If I rescinded my order, the deaths would resume. And so I continued to press for a war no one wanted, and children died for my cowardice.” He hung his head. “I wish I could see my wife and child one last time, but I know that is not to be. Human, claim your prize. Take my soul and leave this cursed place.”

Just once they wanted to see what it was like to watch him crumble into dust. Would it happen in clumps, with limbs falling off and dissipating when their torso could no longer sustain them? Would it start from the head, the feet, or radiate outward from the wound? Or would he melt together first like Undyne did? They could beat Asgore again. Now that they knew how Asgore would act and react it was simple to get the lone hit they needed. It was not as though he did not deserve it. He killed six children. He would have killed them too, in fact _did_ kill them. Frisk’s grip tightened on the knife. It would be so easy.

They remembered Undyne. They remembered how Chara looked afterward, that forlorn and cynical expression on their face as hope died in their heart. That look of betrayal. That was with Undyne, who had been Chara’s hero for all of an hour. What expression would they have if they watched Frisk, someone who had called themself a friend, cut down the man who cared for them for two years of their life? All of a sudden they did not want to know. Whatever kind of face it was, Frisk would never be able to forget it.

Frisk threw down the knife and it clattered against the stone floor. They rummaged through their pockets and pulled out a small lump of aluminum foil, unwrapping it and holding the contents out toward Asgore. He recognized it at once. Frisk nodded with a smile, urging him to take it. He finally did so, the small slice of cinnamon-butterscotch pie dwarfed in his huge paw. Frisk looked back to Chara apologetically, they had been so looking forward to that pie, but Chara waved them off. “He needs it more than me,” Chara admitted, though they were unable to keep all their disappointment inside.

“I don’t want to go back if it means anyone has to die,” Frisk said. “No more killing! I’ll stay, at least until we come up with a better plan. So please, your majesty, call off the war. There’s no reason monsters and humans can’t be friends.”

“Human,” Asgore declared. “For as long as you remain here, we will take care of you as best we can.” His eyes became teary as he continued, “We can sit in the living room, reading stories, eating… butterscotch pie.” He lifted the piece of pie. “We could be like… like a family.”

That was when Frisk felt a wave of magic wash over them. A ring of bullets appeared around both of them, completely encircling them. Chara shouted a warning but it was too late: the circle was already constricting around them. It was Asgore who moved. With his last bit of strength he lifted Frisk with one paw and hurled them up and away, over the approaching bullets. Frisk desperately reached out to Asgore as the bullets struck and an explosion hid him from view.

Frisk rolled to a stop, their whole body aching. They coughed and looked back the way they came, trying to peer through the cloud of smoke. “Your… your majesty?” Frisk stood up. There was no response and no sign of movement. He was weakened, sure, but… bullets weren’t very effective against monsters, right? He was still okay, right? “Mr. Dreemurr?” they asked, a bit more trepidation in their voice. Still, nothing happened. They ran toward the cloud, shouting in a panic, “Asgore!”

The smoke thinned. Asgore was no longer anywhere. Instead a white upside-down heart hovered in the air, trembling. Was that… no. No, this couldn’t be real! Asgore couldn’t be dead, not after they came all this way, not after-

Chara commanded, “Absorb the soul.” Frisk looked at them with clear disgust. “You have to! It’s the only way he’ll-”

A small white bullet shot past Frisk as if fired from a gun. It pierced Asgore’s soul, shattering it like glass. The shards fell to the ground, bouncing once before coming to a stop on the floor, then dissipated into a fine powder.

“No… no!” Frisk went to their knees, scrambling to find a piece of the soul which had not yet disappeared. They found nothing, only getting a thin layer of dust on their hands for their trouble. Who? Who could have done such a thing? That shot had come from behind them. They turned and saw Flowey, vines snaked out to draw the canisters with the souls closer to himself. “You!” Frisk sneered with intense hatred. “How could you?!”

Flowey regarded Frisk coolly. “He left himself wide open. How could anyone have passed up that opportunity?”

“I’d gotten through to him!” Frisk wailed. “We were going to fix things! Everyone was going to be happy! Why did you have to ruin it?!”

“Because even after all this time, you still fail to understand anything.” With a flick of his vines Flowey smashed the canisters. “In this world… it’s _kill_ or _be killed_!”

He absorbed the souls into himself, and then-

* * *

Darkness.

The pillars were gone. The barrier was gone. The floor was gone. Frisk stood on nothingness, an endless expanse of black in all directions. The only things that existed were them and Chara. They looked at each other, fear evident on each other’s faces. Chara spoke first: “Flowey took the souls. I-I won’t lie to you or mince words. When Asriel and I combined I could have wiped out an entire village of humans with no significant effort, and that was with one soul. Flowey has six. You’d better do that Load thing, I don’t want to see how this turns out.”

Frisk agreed and Load-

For a moment it felt like their blood vessels had grown thorns. They screamed and collapsed, the pain fading in an instant but leaving a harsh reminder for them not to try that again. They shook their head and gasped, “I-I can’t! I can’t Load! What’s-”

With an audible click Flowey’s face appeared in the darkness. It glowed brightly and had a strange distortion to it’s dimensions. “Howdy!” he greeted. “I’m Flowey! Flowey the flower!”

“Flowey!” Frisk shouted, rising to their feet. “What did you do?!”

“Oh, nothi~ng,” he snickered, a line of static flashing over his eyes for a second. “I just killed the king and took the human souls! I owe you for that, by the way. Without your help he never would have shown me where the souls were! Oooh, it feels really nice to have a soul inside me again. Six, even! But you know, I still need one more before I become a god. And look what we have here!”

Wait… again? “You… didn’t have a soul before now?”

Flowey blinked, perhaps wondering why his threat had no effect. He recovered, “Oh riiiiight, you must be so confused right now! As a little thank you for helping me achieve the one thing I hadn’t done yet, I’ll tell you a story!” Flowey’s face disappeared, and in his place a Loox-like figure appeared. The figure smiled and waved. “I used to be a monster, you know. Had a body, a soul, people who loved me, the whole works. But then I died.” The figure turned to dust and scattered. “Sad but true. But somehow, for some reason, I came back. I wasn’t a monster anymore… I was a flower!” A flower popped out of the ground with a smiling face. “That wasn’t all, I didn’t have a soul anymore! I was a being with a will to live but nothing to guide me on how to live. I tried looking for the people I used to hang out with while I was alive.” The flower was joined by other monsters; Whimsums and Froggits and lots of others. “They were overjoyed to see me back no matter what my form was now! They were patient and understanding and… so, so annoying.” The flower frowned, disgruntled, as the other monsters cheered. “You see, monster souls are made of love, hope, and compassion. But I didn’t have a soul anymore, so I couldn’t feel any of that. They heaped so much love onto me, but it never reached me. I felt empty.” The other monsters disappeared, leaving the flower all by itself. “I realized… I didn’t want to live in a world without love. So I… well, I decided to give back this life.” The flower turned to dust.

“But at the last moment I thought of something. The soul is the part of you that survives death. So what happens if something without a soul dies? What happens to it? Where does it go? I was so scared, so terrified and alone! I realized, with all my heart, I didn’t want to die! And the next thing I knew…” The flower appeared again, sprouting from nothing. “I was right where I woke up, and no one remembered anything. I had gone back to my Save Point. That’s right! I had that power before you did. At first, I tried to be like how I used to be.” Once again a number of monsters appeared, smiling and cheering. “I was kind and friendly, talking to everyone and finding out everything about them. It was like a great big puzzle, finding out what everyone needed and what I could do to help! Eventually, I made everyone happy and solved all their problems! It was so much fun!

“… For a little while.” The flower drooped, its petals almost scraping the floor. The other monsters remained happy, but they dimmed and receded to the background. “But I was the only one who remembered everything, so I was the only one who ever changed. If I say something or do something to a certain person at a certain time in a certain way, they’ll react exactly the same way every time. Like a robot or an actor in a script. It became harder and harder to see them as people and not just a collection of pre-programmed lines and reactions. I became bored and listless again. And then I thought…” Vines sprouted, piercing the other monsters and turning them to dust while the flower grinned like a devil. “How would they all react… if I started killing people?” The vines grew and curled, forming sinister shapes as the flower laughed. “Finally, things were interesting again! Killing people in different orders, different combinations, there was just so much variety to it! At first I told myself I hated doing this, I was only interested in seeing what happens. But the truth is, killing was fun!”

“What is wrong with you?!” Frisk could not take it any more. They hurled invective at the shapes, and with a wave of static like a television changing channels Flowey’s face appeared again. “How could you do it? You knew them when you were alive! You used to love them! So how…?”

Flowey shook his head and sneered. “Oh don’t you clutch your pearls at me. I saw what you did to Undyne. Don’t pretend like you’re better than me or that the same desire doesn’t rage in you!” Frisk shot a nervous glance at Chara, who was staring intently at Flowey. Their lips moved in an inaudible whisper and they stroked their reverse-heart locket nervously. “I’ve watched you have a fun time with Loading and Saving. Couldn’t figure out what you were doing half the time, but you sure did give it a workout. It was kinda nostalgic. I remember when I played around with it, too. I watched you use it more and more, get more and more dismissive of other people. Never mind Loads, I could feel you getting so frustrated against Asgore you were planning to Reset just to see what would happen! Sooner or later you would have become like me. You would have started killing, first because you had to, then because you thought it was for the best, and finally just because it was fun! Hee hee, don’t think you can lie to me. You can’t even lie to yourself! But don’t worry, your pal Flowey saved you from that fate!” He smiled widely, malice practically shining in his eyes. “You can’t Load at all anymore. The power’s mine again, and I’m never giving it back. In fact, I erased your old Save! Now no matter what you do you’ll never be able to get the souls back and you’ll never be able to save Asgore. How does that make you feel? Knowing that everything you’ve worked for since you came here has been for nothing?” His grin faltered, then he squinted and leaned forward. “Hey, what’s that in your pocket?”

Frisk looked down and saw a thin golden chain dangling out of the corner of their right shorts pocket with the reverse-heart locket swinging freely. Frisk hastily stuffed it back in. “Nothing,” they said quickly.

Flowey’s eyes went from the pocket to Frisk’s face and back again. He tilted his head and nodded in a slow, knowing way. “Oh. OH. I see how it is now. Well this explains a lot, doesn’t it? I thought I sensed something weirdly familiar about you. No wonder you kept your eyes shut. I would have figured it out a long time ago if you showed me your eyes earlier.”

The chain had been wrapped around something else in their pocket: the knife. They thought they dropped it after beating Asgore, but somehow it was back. They drew it out, snapping the sheath off and stuffing it back. They marched towards Flowey’s massive face, feeling courage blossom in their chest and radiate out to the rest of their body. No matter what, Flowey could not be allowed to get away with this.

“What are you gonna do, fight me?” The image of Flowey slowly lifted into the air, and Frisk got the distinct impression there was suddenly _something else_ in the darkness with them. “You’re such a slowpoke, we always knew how a fight between us would turn out. For all you teased me and looked down on me, the truth always was that without me you’re to~tally hopeless. Now you’re even pretending to be a good person… and after the way things ended, too! You turned into a real nutjob; getting killed trying to save people, talking to yourself, Loading for no reason. And now you’re even trying to stop me when I have nearly godlike power! So who’s ‘weird’ now, huh?”

“No… NO!” Chara covered their mouth and shook their head in wide-eyed horror. “It’s not true! Y-you can’t be… you _can’t_ be…!”

Flowey continued, oblivious of Chara’s distress, “But it’s too late now. I have no love or compassion to appeal to, but it’ll be fun to kill you over and over until you fruitlessly beg for forgiveness anyway!”

The something else Frisk sensed before made itself known. From the additional light it was clear Flowey’s face was on a television screen. Underneath him was something out of a nightmare. A shambling monstrosity as large as a house stood in front of Frisk. Its eyes bulged out from opposite sides of a vertical champing mouth and focused on Frisk. Globs of saliva dripped from the teeth, vanishing into the void. Massive green arms ending in bear-like claws jutted out either side of the creature’s body. Pipes leading from the television screen to various parts of the rest of the body undulated, pumping some unknown material to fuel the dreaded beast.

The entire television screen was now taken up by a gigantic face, eyes glowing red with madness and mouth twisted into a permanent slasher smile. “I hope you’re ready for a good time! Because I for one am going to enjoy every last second of this!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At first I was hoping that if I got enough done I could combine this chapter with the next chapter and get the neutral end over with at once. Then I had mandatory overtime at work and hahahahanope that didn’t happen. This didn’t end up being the shortest chapter; that honor still belongs to the last Interlude, though not by much. There’s a small chance the conclusion will be shorter, but we’ll see when we get there. Not long now.


	18. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a promise is kept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains graphic depictions of violence, blood, mentions of gore, and the temporary death of a major character.

Flowey’s magic field expanding was a physical wave, knocking Frisk to the floor and stealing their breath. Their entire body had that pins-and-needles feeling when a hand or foot fell asleep. They stumbled to their feet, but just a moment too slowly to get out of the way of Flowey’s first attack: “friendliness pellets”. They held out their right arm to absorb the bullet and keep their soul safe. Chara shouted in their ear, “Frisk, no! Don’t-!”

When the bullet struck it did not hurt the way it usually did. Instead a red mist filled the air and Frisk could not feel their arm at all anymore. They were dimly aware their brain was in denial, refusing to believe what had just happened. And the reason their arm felt numb was because _there was no longer an arm to feel pain_.

The world shifted, like a television which just changed channels. Flowey’s attack was no longer flying through the air, and their right arm was attached to their body again and completely uninjured. The face on the television screen whistled innocently. “Okay, that was kind of unfair so I’m calling an audible. Just so you know, now that I’m powered by human souls my bullets are way stronger than they used to be. They’ll blow through monsters like tissue paper, and even a human body is no defense against them. It’s not just your soul in danger anymore, you’ll get blown to pieces no matter where I hit you. So don’t think you can sacrifice limbs to keep yourself safe!”

Flowey grinned malevolently as he began his attack again, firing friendliness pellets over a wide area. Frisk scrambled for cover but found none, just a vast emptiness as far as they could see. Their feet found purchase on something they could not see, but as the bullets flew past they did not kick up any stone, dust, or other debris; they simply sailed right past the plane Frisk was running along as though nothing at all was there. Frisk looked over their shoulder to see what Flowey was planning next, and saw a number of massive green orbs bouncing like rubber balls toward them. One bouncing ball fell directly towards them, a set of jaws on its circumference open wide, and for a moment Frisk saw nothing but teeth. Then the world shifted and the attack was gone, Flowey looking down at them. “Wow, human bodies are so much more interesting than monster bodies!” Flowey giggled. “There’s a whole lot of fun stuff inside them! It doesn’t matter how you kill a monster, they fade away into dust no matter how you kill them. But humans? Oh man, I think it’s going to take me a long time before I get bored of this!” He cackled as he rained bombs down on Frisk. They ran this way and that, trying to stay away from the explosions. A bomb detonated just a foot or so to their right, knocking them sideways and throwing them to the ground. Their side burned and their lungs felt empty. They looked up just in time to see a massive claw heading straight for them.

The world shifted. Frisk was standing again and Flowey cackled madly. “Do you get it now? There’s no such thing as a happy ending, not for creatures like us!” Bullets appeared all around Frisk, leaving only a tiny gap in the edge to jump through.

“Come on! It’s like you’re not even trying! I mean, I’m having a lot of fun right now so I’ll take it, but are you going to use that knife or what?”

Frisk had their head down, taking calm, measured breaths. This was not like the other times. No other options were available to them. This time they were fully justified. Fighting could finally make things better.

A series of vines shot out toward Frisk and they ducked out of the way. In one smooth motion they pulled the knife from their pocket and slashed upward, severing them in a spray of sap and ichor. Flowey raised their eyebrows and nodded. “Not bad, not bad. But what about this!”

“The attack is coming from behind.” Chara warned. Their voice was thin and raspy and their face was downcast, but Frisk had other things to worry about than Chara’s emotional state. “Step two paces to the right.” Frisk dived out of the way just as a fly the size of a car buzzed past. The air was filled with them, all rocketing towards Flowey’s left arm. This was it, they realized, this was their opening. Frisk ducked their head low and charged. One hit would kill them, but as long as Flowey was more interested in torturing Frisk than taking their soul it did not matter who had the power to Load. Playing around would cost Flowey dearly. Frisk leapt onto the right arm without slowing their stride, their target Flowey’s television-screen face.

“Oh no you don’t!” Flowey said as he flicked his arm, sending Frisk into the air. He readied more vines and shot them toward Frisk like spears. Frisk twisted their body in free-fall, the sharp thorns on the tip of the vines tearing their shirt and opening superficial wounds on their side and face but failing to deal serious damage. Flowey’s expression fell and his eyes widened. A defiant scream tore from Frisk’s throat as they held the knife in both hands, bringing it down to bury it in the television screen right between Flowey’s eyes. The screen cracked, smoked, and sputtered. Frisk released their grip and fell to the floor, watching Flowey’s body shrivel and brown before their eyes.

“No… NO!” Flowey’s shout reverberated throughout the void. He attempted to lift his claws but they broke off his body and fell. “This can’t be happening!” The face in the screen bared their teeth in pure hatred. “You… YOU!”

The world blinked. Flowey’s hideous body was full and vibrant, as though nothing at all had happened. The television screen did not have a scratch on it; the knife and its damage had vanished, and Frisk felt its weight in their pocket. The face on the screen parted its lips in a mocking smile. “You. Idiot.”

A massive laser shot out from the beast’s mouth, enveloping Frisk completely in a white-hot heat which-

Friendliness pellets the size of their fist slammed into their chest, their soul cracking under the-

Vines shot out from behind and tore through Frisk’s stomach, blood rushing up their throat and-

A bomb landed just next to them, shrapnel tearing through their-

Rows of sharp, jagged teeth flashed and closed around-

A gigantic claw slashed across their-

Waves of fire surged-

A heavy weight-

Flies-

They were dead, alive, and dead again before they could draw a breath. The murders happened so fast Frisk could no longer keep track of them, or even where one death ended and the next began. Through it all Flowey’s insane laughter served as their ambiance. All they knew was pain, pain, pain.

Vines wrapped around their arms and legs, pulling them into the air. Frisk pulled against them but it was no use; Frisk had no leverage and the vines were too strong. They yanked in opposite directions, leaving Frisk spread-eagle in the air twenty feet above the ground, Flowey’s face on the television just in front of them.

“Did you forget what the power to Save and Load even means?” Flowey said. “It means everything you do is pointless. Nothing you do can ever change the world unless I allow it to happen. And that means you can never in a million years defeat me! Because even if you do, I can snap my fingers and make it a~ll go away. Or what?” His grin got even wider. “Do you think the rest of your pathetic friends are going to rush in and save you? Let’s ignore for a moment they couldn’t do a thing even if they came. If Toriel was so concerned for your safety she could have escorted you through the underground; instead she gave you up for dead and will forget all about you the instant some other kid falls down that hole. Papyrus is a great guy, really! But he thinks you and Asgore are having a lovely chat and a spot of tea at this very minute. And his brother, the smiley trashbag? Pffft, like he’d lift a finger for anybody. He’d rather lounge back and hope someone else deals with the problem. Undyne might be your friend now, but Asgore is her king. She won’t interfere. They all knew Asgore would kill you, they all _knew_ you were just a child, but did any of them even try to help? Ha! They’ve all abandoned you to die! How does that make you feel?”

Frisk shook their head vigorously, trying to deny his words, but they made a sort of sense. If they were really friends, why weren’t they here? Why couldn’t Frisk depend on them now, when they needed them the most?

“Oh, you don’t believe me? Then go ahead. Call out for them. Use the best voice you have! Scream as loud as you want! ‘Mommy, daddy, please help me!’ See which one of us is right!”

“Don’t do it,” Chara said, sounding like they were barely holding onto their resolve themself. “Don’t give him the satisfaction.”

But Frisk had realized something they never had cause to think of before: willpower is a finite resource. It was easy to say never give up, easy to tell someone to just brush themself off no matter how many times they get knocked down, but it was a much harder thing to do it over and over again. Everyone has a breaking point, where they simply could not will themselves forward any more. Frisk had reached theirs.

“H… Help…” Frisk’s body sagged into the vines, giving up any physical resistance. Their voice was quiet, and broken, and sad. Even they did not believe anyone could rescue them. “Help me. Somebody. Anybody. Please, help.”

Flowey turned this way and that, as if listening for a far-off sound. He broke into a grin as he taunted, “But nobody came. Boy, isn’t that a shame? Nobody else…” A cloud of bullets appeared in front of him as his eyes glowed red with malevolence. “Is going to get to see you die!”

Frisk could not even cry. They just waited for the bullets to get closer, converging on their soul. Flowey would not Load this time, they were sure. This time they were dead for good. Flowey had won. Once he had Frisk’s soul nothing would stop him from terrorizing the entire world, human and monster. He would destroy everything. With their last breath Frisk whispered, “I’m sorry… Chara.”

The world shifted. They were back on the ground, their wounds healed and their energy restored. The despair which had sunk into their bones was washed away in an instant, like they had been too hot and a bucket of ice water had been dumped on their head. Flowey blinked, his eyes still focused on the point in the air where Frisk used to be, and he had to look around for a moment before finding them again. “What the… how did you do that? Well, it doesn’t matter. I made a Save once I captured you, so I’ll just-” His entire body flinched as though he had been electrocuted. “What?” he said with a growing panic. “Where… where are my powers? Why can’t I Load?!” The television screen filled with static, and Flowey’s face could only be dimly seen. “No! The souls are rebelling! They’re… you’re _leaving_ me! You can’t do that! I worked so hard for this, I waited so long for this, you can’t take my revenge away from me now! You can’t just… NOOOOOOOOOO!” As he screamed in defiance the creature collapsed under its own weight. His body turned from green to brown to white and blew away like so much dust. In the center of the whirlwind six colorful souls danced with each other, spinning in a waltz only they could hear. They rose up and up into the air, vanishing in the distance as the darkness faded. In only a moment Frisk realized they were back in the barrier room. The room still showed the results of their fight with Asgore; slashes from the trident scarred the floors and columns, scorch marks littered the walls, the smashed remains of the soul canisters lay at Frisk’s feet, some distance away a lone slice of smashed pie had smeared its contents on the ground, and Flowey grew in a lonesome patch of grass. His petals were ripped and tattered and his stem sagged, but he was still very much alive. Powerless, but alive.

Frisk had a hand on their knife before they figured out what they were going to do with it, but it did not take them long to decide. ‘Perfect for cutting plants and vines.’ Their lips were locked in a furious grimace and they took decisive, purposeful steps forward. They ripped the knife from its sheath and held the grip in their left hand, determined to make this count. No more dithering. No more excuses. No more mercy. They were going to kill Flowey, and if they had to do it in cold blood then so be it.

Chara darted out in front of them, arms out to the sides to stop their advance. “Frisk, no! You can’t!” Frisk brushed past them without slowing their stride. Of course Chara would not want to kill them, they were kind to all the monsters. They had no idea what Flowey really was and what he had done to them. They had likely not experienced any of the times Flowey had killed them, brutalizing them and tearing them apart over and over for no reason but that he thought it was funny. Let him laugh this off.

Chara hovered alongside Frisk to keep up with them. “Y-you can’t kill him. You just can’t! He’s not a threat anymore, he can’t hurt anyone else! So… so you don’t have to…”

Frisk turned to face them, shaking with rage. Flowey killed Asgore when he was not a threat. He tried to kill Frisk when they were not a threat. He destroyed Asgore’s soul so they could no longer leave the Underground. He took the human souls and doomed monsters to be locked below the earth forever. He ruined everything that everyone had been working so hard for because he was bored. He deserved to die. All that should have been obvious to Chara. They continued their march without dignifying Chara with a response.

Chara desperately struggled for an argument which would work. “ _You_ can’t kill him. You mustn’t! This whole time we’ve been trying to prove him wrong; that you don’t have to be cruel, that people can work together. That this world means more than just ‘kill or be killed’. Remember? ‘Love, not LOVE’? If that flower makes you give up on that, if you kill him out of revenge, then he wins. He’ll have taken your pure and innocent heart, a human that never meant any harm to anyone, and made you into a killer. You’d prove him right, and you’d never be the same again.”

Frisk hesitated, considering this. Maybe it would prove him right. Maybe it would scar them for life. Their grip tightened again. But Chara was wrong about one thing: Frisk was not pure and innocent. They could get pushed to extremes. And someday they could find absolution and repentance if they regretted killing Flowey, while Flowey would still be dead.

Flowey was right in front of them. He lifted his drooped petals to fix them with one eye. His gaze dropped to the knife and he laughed once. In a harsh and throaty whisper he congratulated, “I knew… you had it in you.” Frisk bared their teeth, switched to an icepick grip on the knife, raised it above their head-

Chara knelt down between Frisk and their target, so their image and Flowey’s body overlapped. Tears streamed from their eyes and their arms stretched to each side. “Please, Frisk,” they begged. “Not him. If… if there’s even a chance I’m right, I can’t… not again. I can’t let it happen again. For my sake, please… let him go.”

Frisk looked down at their friend in mute shock, knife still held above their head. The two of them had gone through many harrowing trials on the way here. They had faced down death together, got in fights, made up, shared laughs, and told each other so much about themselves. Through it all Chara had never begged like this. Not for themselves, and not for Frisk. But they would for Flowey? Was it because they cared about monsters so much more than humans, that even a despicable creature like Flowey ranked higher than Frisk? Would Frisk only ever be just another filthy human in Chara’s eyes? Jealousy mixed with their anger, roiling their determination to kill Flowey to new heights, yet it was not yet strong enough to do the deed. If Frisk wanted to kill Flowey, they would have to look Chara straight in the eye while they did it. They would have to plunge the knife through Chara’s body to get to him. Chara’s body was incorporeal, the knife would not even slow down on its way and Chara would be unharmed. So it should be fine. But even if they could logic that out, they still had intense psychological revulsion to even contemplating the act. Even if their brain understood their heart could not. Chara knew that. They knew how much Frisk cared for them and would not be able to hurt them. They were using Frisk’s feelings against them, manipulating Frisk into doing what they wanted. Frisk urged his arm to drive down the dagger out of spite, just to watch Chara as they realized this one time they would not get their way. But they could not. Chara had chosen their weapon too well and Frisk had given them too much of their love. Gerson had told them Love was the strongest and the weakest of all the attributes, and Frisk saw the wisdom of that contradiction now.

Frisk replaced the knife in its sheath and turned their back. “Get out of my sight, Flowey.”

“… What are you doing?” They could hear Flowey stirring, but it seemed rustling their leaves was all they could do. “Do you really think I’ve learned anything? Do you think I’m going to be a good person now? No, killing me is the only way to end this.”

Frisk balled their hands into fists. “I’m not going to.”

His voice rose in volume and pitch to an ear-splitting shriek. “If you let me live, I’ll come back. I’ll kill you. I’ll kill everyone. I’ll kill everyone you love!”

“I’ll deal with you then. Go!”

Flowey was silent for a long while. “I don’t understand,” he said finally. “I betrayed you. I ruined everything. I thought you hated me. Why are you being so nice to me? _How_ can you be so nice to me? I… I don’t understand. Maybe… maybe I _can’t_ understand, anymore…” Frisk heard a shuffling sound as Flowey buried himself, burrowing to somewhere far away.

They stood there for some time, taking one ragged breath after another, trying to come to terms with what just happened. The silence was broken with a single whispered, “Thank you.” Frisk glanced up to see Chara, wiping tears from their eyes.

Frisk swallowed. “I really wanted to kill him.”

“I know.”

“Then why? Why did you stop me?”

Chara pursed their lips and averted their eyes. “I guess… because I couldn’t let you do that to him, and I couldn’t let him do that to you. I felt how much you hated him, I could see what you were going to do, and I thought, ‘This must not happen.’ I…” They shook their head. “I’m sorry, it would sound silly if I said it out loud.”

Frisk stared up at the barrier. No point now. There was only one Boss Monster soul left in the entire underground, and… no. It was not even an option. Even if they could open the door to the ruins they could not do that to Toriel. So they were all trapped here. Monsters, Flowey, Chara, even Frisk. None could escape now.

“Asgore is dead,” Chara said. “Everyone will believe you killed him. You can’t go back. Not only that, the human souls the monsters collected are gone. The means to destroy the barrier no longer exists Underground. If you’re going to break the barrier you will need to pass through and get to the surface. Do you understand? Do you agree?” Frisk could only nod reluctantly. Chara closed their eyes and sighed deeply. “Then step through the barrier. I figured out a trick; if I’m here you should be able to go through. Go on, try it out.”

Frisk put a hand up to the barrier to test its solidity, and was shocked when it slipped right through. They pulled their hand back reflexively, then went back to touch it more tentatively. Frisk could feel it like a shimmery curtain or the back of a waterfall, but they could push through it with no effort. They exhaled and stepped through.

They were standing on a small ledge overlooking a vast forest. Tall skyscrapers loomed in the distance: Weymouth, the city they had run away from only a few days ago. It had felt like a lifetime. Fresh air invigorated them from their nostrils outward, a wave over their entire body which gave them a renewed sense of hope. It would be all right. They were not sure what they would do now, but everything was going to turn out okay. It might take them months or years, but somehow the two of them could figure out a way to break the barrier.

“We’re free,” Frisk said to the air.

A voice from somewhere far behind them said, “Yes, you are.” When Frisk turned they were startled to see Chara on the opposite side of the barrier, still in the Underground. “Told you I had a plan. From the time you fell down you have always had more than a single human soul’s worth of power. You had yours, and you also had mine. I got the idea when I realized at Napstablook’s house my soul was only about as strong as a monster’s. Sound familiar? A human soul and a monster soul. So together you and I can get one person through the barrier.” They held up their index finger. “Just one.”

Frisk scrunched up their face. “I’m not okay with leaving you alone in there. I’m coming back through so we can-”

“ _Don’t!_ ” Chara’s vehement shout stopped them in their tracks. Chara’s face was desperate, their hand outstretched in a “stop” gesture. “Don’t, Frisk. If you cross back through the barrier you really will be trapped. You won’t be able to use my power again because the barrier broke whatever connection we had and I don’t know how to reconnect with you. We just went over this, the only way to destroy the barrier is with human souls, and there aren’t any down here. You have to get the rest of them on the surface, for the sake of all the monsters you’ve made friends with. Maybe you can talk to the humans and organize a rescue effort, or maybe they’ll be able to figure out another way to deal with the barrier. If you really care about the monsters, you won’t come back down until you find a way.”

Frisk saw the logic of Chara’s arguments like a wall building up to separate them from everything they loved and cared for. A chilling thought occurred to them. “But what about you?”

Chara adopted a mask, the half-smile appearing to mock them. “I’m sure I can find something else to anchor onto before my time is up. If nothing else, I could get absorbed by a monster. That would not be so bad.”

“That’s a lie,” Frisk said. “Napstablook told us. They said you might have only minutes or seconds if you and I ever… broke apart. You can’t latch on to anyone, you just said you don’t know how. And there aren’t any monsters around, Asgore’s servants all left before the gold hall.” Icy fear gripped them and they felt their heart stop beating. A human soul could not survive outside of a body. Chara had just been evicted from Frisk’s body. There were no other bodies around. “Chara… are you dying?”

Chara’s brave face strained, and their hand clutched at their chest as beads of what appeared to be sweat broke out on their forehead. “No, I’m not dying.” Chara’s smile fell, and they looked at Frisk apologetically through eyes with dark circles around them. “I’ve been dead for a long time. I’m just… fading away.”

No no no no _no no NO!_

Chara guessed Frisk’s intentions before they could move a muscle. Their face turned into a hideous grimace. “Frisk, if you come back through this barrier I will hate you forever. You can’t save me no matter what you do now, so don’t throw away the monsters’ only hope trying to.”

Frisk was paralyzed. Their head was telling them Chara was right, their legs wanted to move forward anyway, their heart did not dare to chance Chara’s threat, their gut was telling them to do something, anything, to stop this from happening. “Why? _WHY?!_ ” Chara couldn’t die now, Frisk lost their Save, they couldn’t Load, and if they couldn’t Load then this was real and they couldn’t fix it _they couldn’t fix it!_

Chara closed their eyes, content that Frisk was not about to move. “I couldn’t collect the human souls with Asriel. None of the other kids who fell down could save me from my own guilt and shame. And now the last bit of my soul is going to disappear. I’m out of chances, Frisk.” They had sunken eyes and sallow cheeks, looking as pale and miserable as they had ever seen them. “I failed. If you come back through it will be a complete failure. There will be no hope for anyone.”

“You can’t do this,” Frisk said through clenched teeth. “You promised you’d stay, you promised you wouldn’t go away! _You promised_ , Chara!”

“I promised to lead you through the Underground. I said I wouldn’t disappear as long as you were here. I kept my promise. Now it’s your turn to keep yours.” Chara’s smile was weak but genuine. Their body was almost completely transparent now, and Frisk could only tell where they were because they remembered what Chara looked like and could see those details if they strained their eyes. “You’ll survive this. You’ll be able to live a happy life from now on. And you’ll return someday to free all the monsters. _You_ will be the angel. I’m sorry for dumping all the responsibility on you, but you’re the only hope I have left. If it’s in your hands I know I don’t have to worry. I believe in you.” They beamed one final smile, eyes nearly closed with tears falling from the corners. “I’m really glad we met. Be good, won’t you?… My friend.”

And then Frisk could not see them anymore.

Frisk collapsed to their knees and banged their fist against the rock. A mournful wail tore out of their throat, echoing down the mountainside. Behind them the sun set, casting its rays to bathe the world in a soothing orange. But this did nothing to calm their heart.

Chara was gone. And Frisk would never be able to set it right.

* * *

Night was about to fall. The last rays of sunlight waved goodbye, bathing the sky in purple hues as dusk settled in. Frisk sat on the path, knees to their forehead with their arms wrapped around their shins. It was a good position for staying warm in the cold, but they did not care about the cold. They did not care about anything anymore. They had not moved from the spot where they fell. Maybe they would never move again. Every good memory they had was underground. Everything happy was there. But they could never go back. Chara was right. The monsters would never accept that Frisk did not kill Asgore. They would never believe them. Even if they did, Frisk would never be able to live down that all the souls were lost and their king died for nothing. They would not be able to face them all, knowing they had taken away all their hopes and dreams. Seven human souls were needed to destroy the barrier. They needed to get six more. But they did not know where to begin getting them. Even if they could they had no idea how they were supposed to be used. Chara would be able to think of a plan. They would have a strategy. They would know who to talk to, what to say, and how to convince the rest of humanity to help the monsters. They would know something about how the monsters planned to use the souls and recreate it. But Chara was not there anymore. They were alone. They were not clever, or resourceful, or influential. They did not even have the power to Save anymore. They were just Frisk “Place” Holder. The exact same stupid, useless, unwanted Frisk they came here to get away from.

“Howdy!” Flowey, back again. He was calling to them from the other side of the barrier. Frisk ignored him, gritting their teeth and hoping he would leave without trying to start a conversation. No such luck. “So you somehow got through anyway and you’re still hanging around here? Don’t you have anything better to do?”

Through cracked lips and tight throat Frisk said, “Go away.”

Flowey disobeyed the command. “See, here’s the thing I don’t get. You came all that way, being nice and making friends with everyone, and how did things turn out? You’re never going to see any of them again, and they’re in a much worse position than ever. It took them thirty years to get those souls, and poof! Now they’re all gone and they have to start from scratch. If they’re even able to do that. So, if you really did everything the right way, how did things end up like this? Is the real world really so cruel?”

Frisk grabbed two handfuls of their hair and pulled them down, hoping the pain would block out the words of that inhumanly cruel _thing_ taunting them. “I didn’t let you live so you could make me feel even worse!” they shouted. “Just go away! I don’t want to see you! I don’t want to see anyone! I don’t-” _Want to live anymore._ The words stopped just before passing their lips, but they found more comfort in it than they maybe should have. Even if they were not right, they were true.

Flowey regarded them carefully, licking his lips in thought. “Say. What if I told you I knew a way to get you a better ending?” Frisk lifted their head. “Ah, that got your attention! You know, now that I don’t have the human souls any more you should have the power to Save and Load again.”

“What does it matter?” Frisk felt their briefly rekindled hopes die. “You got rid of my Save.”

Flowey indignantly fluffed up his petals to appear larger. “I would have hoped you learned by now not to trust the things I say. See, here’s the thing. I tried to delete your Save, but… I couldn’t actually do it. I could stop you from Loading but that was it. I told you I did because, let’s be honest, the look on your face when I did was priceless. I figured I would kill you and you’d never learn I was lying. So you should be able to Load from just before you fought Asgore. You can make all of this not happen. And then… well, I’m sure some solution will present itself. Some way to get a happier ending might exist, and you might find it if you bumble around for long enough. It could happen randomly! But I happen to know a few things about the Underground and how everything fits together, and if you want my advice… talk to Dr. Alphys.” Flowey lifted his leaves in a gesture something like a shoulder shrug. “Who knows? Maybe she has the key to your happiness, if you became better friends.”

“I can Load… and find some way to destroy the barrier from the inside?” Suspicion immediately replaced their relief. “Why are you helping me?”

“You mean what do I get out of it?” Flowey gave him a malicious grin. “I get to keep playing. As long as you’re in the Underground I’ll never get bored. Isn’t that enough of an incentive for your best friend forever to help you out?”

He was lying. Frisk had no doubt this was playing into some evil plot of his, that the flower was not anywhere near done toying with the lives of everyone in the underground. And yet… they could not continue on the path they were on. They could not leave things like this. They had to fix it. They took a deep breath…

“You don’t have to explain anything to me. Do whatever you feel you have to.”

Frisk looked around them. They were back at The End, the huge arch looming above them. Chara floated beside them, an expression of determined concern on their face. They remembered what Chara’s plan for getting them through the barrier was, how calmly they told Frisk to go through the barrier knowing it would mean their death, staying silent because they knew Frisk would never agree to that plan if they knew what they consequences were. Chara tricked Frisk into killing them for their freedom, even though they knew Frisk would not accept freedom at the cost of anyone’s life. Not Asgore’s, and certainly not Chara’s.

They could not help it. Before they could think about it they were already trying to punch Chara in the face. Of course, Chara was still incorporeal so they swung right through them, toppling over from the loss of balance and their shoulder crying out in pain from over-extending. Chara shouted indignantly, “What the hell was that for?!”

“You _jerk_!” Frisk screamed, reaching into their pocket. They grabbed the first thing they found and threw it at Chara (the knife including its sheath as it turned out); they passed right through. This did not stop Frisk from reaching into their pocket again for something else to throw. The gloves flew a couple inches and fell to the floor with an anticlimactic splat. “You stupid, stupid jerk.” They rubbed at their eyes, trying to stem the flow of tears. “I-I thought I’d lost you! I thought y-you were g-gone forever.”

A large shape appeared in the doorway; hearing Frisk shout, Asgore had come to investigate the noise. “I know I have no right to ask this, human, but… all you quite alright?”

Frisk braced themself against the wall and stood, wiping their nose on their sleeve. “Mr. Dreemurr?” they asked with a cracked voice. “I’m… going to leave. I’ll be back later, okay?”

Asgore smiled at Frisk, relief clear on his face. “That is fine,” he said. “It’s okay if you aren’t ready. To be honest, I’m not ready either. Take a walk, read a book, do whatever your heart desires. There is no rush. The barrier… will be here. It will wait a while longer.” Asgore… he did not want to fight. They knew that now. But they still did not understand, why force himself to fight if it made him so miserable? They had only an inkling of an idea, but could not put it into words.

Frisk turned on their heel and walked away, ignoring Chara’s protests until the two of them reached the Judgment Hall. Then they whirled on Chara, pointing an accusatory finger in their face. “You said you could get me through the barrier. Did you know it would kill you?”

Chara swallowed and crossed their arms, looking away from Frisk. “Not… for a fact. But based on what I knew about the barrier and what I guessed about us, I knew there was a very high probability that doing so would sever the connection between us and I would disappear.”

“And what made you think I’d be okay with that?!” Frisk took deep breaths through their nose, their fists clenched and shaking. “You knew I wouldn’t do it, so you tricked me into it… you didn’t tell me until it was too late.”

“I’m sorry,” Chara said. “I’ve… never been very considerate of other people. But…” Chara drifted in front of them, eyes plaintive. “You have me at a disadvantage; you lived through everything but I didn’t. I can’t defend myself because I don’t know why I came to that decision. Frisk, what on earth happened before that last Load?”

That was right. Chara did not remember any of that. They did not remember the fight against Asgore, or Flowey stealing the souls, or the pitched battle, or Frisk nearly killing Flowey, or-

Chara, overflowing with so much love they were willing to die to give what they thought would be a happy life to Frisk. Trusting them with the future of everyone they ever cared about. Calling them their friend at the very end. It did happen. It was real.

And that meant all those other times, they were real too. They really had done those things: manipulating people, killing Undyne, killing Chara. They could not pick and choose what was real and what was not. Either everything in those other timelines was real, or none of it was. Frisk took several deep breaths. What on earth had they been doing? Nothing too different from what Flowey had done to them. They were only supposed to use this power to fix things. They were only going to use it to make things turn out alright if something went wrong. But somewhere along the line Frisk’s priorities had shifted. It was something special, a power only they could use. It became a toy to play with. They had never realized how much cruelty and caprice they were capable of, with the power of Loads to allow them to indulge to their heart’s content without ever facing the consequences. They remembered what it felt like to think about killing people and decide not to because they did not want to upset Chara, or because it was inexpedient to kill, or because redoing their entire journey was too much of a bore. Decidedly not thinking, _But killing people is wrong._ Flowey had said they would become like him given enough time, and for the first time since hearing it they believed him. How close had they come to that edge? They felt ugly. They felt sick.

They leaned back against a pillar and slowly sunk to the floor. “Hey, Chara. Did you know? It’s not just when I die. I can Load any time I want to. Any time I feel like it. You said before that I’m an angel. You probably think I’m a good kid who’d never hurt anyone. But you’re wrong about me. I’m not good or sweet or nice. I get nasty and mean, too. It’s easy to make everyone think you’re a good kid when you have a power like mine. When you can Load and erase every bad thing you do and every wrong word you say and every mistake you make. It’s easy to not hurt people when you _know_ they can’t hurt you back. If I wanted to I could kill every single monster in the Underground and there isn’t anything anyone could do to stop me.”

Chara looked away. “That’s… an oddly specific example. B-but you’d never-”

“Maybe.” Frisk hugged their knees tightly, shuddering. “Asgore… killed me a lot. He wouldn’t stop fighting, he wouldn’t listen, and I couldn’t beat him. So I thought, ‘there’s no point to being nice if Asgore is going to make me kill him anyway, so if I start all over and get more LOVE I might be able to get past him.’ I didn’t… but I thought about it.”

“There’s a huge difference between thinking about something and doing it. You never actually killed anyone, so you shouldn’t-”

“I killed Undyne. I’m real good at fighting, I can beat up kids twice my size and they can’t touch me. She kept killing me and I got so…” They clasped their hands and gave up, hoping they had given Chara enough of an idea what they meant. “It wasn’t even that hard. Even a child’s strength is enough to kill a monster if you want to hurt them bad enough, just like you said. And I’ve killed you, Chara.” Frisk rocked back and forth with tiny, minute movements. “If you get sad enough you go away. If you hate yourself enough you die. I don’t know why but I know it’s true. I’ve seen it happen. I’ve done it myself. If I say the right things in the right way I can make you erase yourself. And I didn’t feel bad at all because I could Load and none of it happened. I never hurt you and you never died. But it _did_ happen.” Frisk vibrated, trying to lift their head but unable to look Chara in the eye. “I climbed the mountain because I wanted everyone to worry and look all over and put my face on the news and ask if they’ve seen me. And I was gonna come back, and people would cry and hug me and say they missed me and-” They sniffled. “And say they loved me. Nobody’s ever said it to me, and now I know why. It’s ‘cause I’m the worst person in the world. I think about hurting people all the time. I treat the people I call friends like garbage because I can, and can get away with it. I can do terrible things to people and never feel guilty because I can take it all back and they’d never know what I did. Look at me, crying because you killed yourself, but when I killed you I didn’t shed a tear. That’s the kind of person I really am on the inside.

“It’s fine if you hate me, you should hate me! I’m no different than any of the other humans, so go ahead! I deserve it! I-” They buried their face between their knees. “I’m sorry! I wish I hadn’t done any of it, I wish I could take it back, I wish I didn’t have this power! I didn’t want to hurt anyone and instead I turned into a bad kid! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m…!” They tried to say more but it only came out as wheezes and sobs. Tears streamed from their eyes and snot dripped from their nose. They could not look up. They did not want to see what kind of face Chara was making. Chara surely regretted being their friend now. Not only were they a horrible person but they had kept it all a secret. They had been hiding this aspect of themself from Chara, and now Chara had found out what their ‘friend’ was really like. They knew it was true because Chara was not saying anything. Chara had stopped trying to defend them, stopped trying to argue, and just let Frisk cry their eyes out because-

_A memory came to them, soft and indistinct. Chara was face down in a pillow, their eyes hot and their lungs burning. Their whole face hurt. The pillow was damp. Somewhere very close by Toriel was singing a lullaby in a slow contralto._

_Moon spirit, quiver on her back_  
_Waiting in a dream_  
 _Underneath a pale full moon_  
 _Passing time away_  
_Bow at side, hands as pillows, wond’ring if and when you’ll come_  
_Hurry there and meet her soon, on that plain of dreams_  
_Somewhere safe and warm, tucked in a ball, drifting off to sleep  
_ _Somewhere safe and warm, in mother’s arms, drifting off to sleep_

Now that they thought about it… when had they last had actual bed rest? They did not know how long they were at Toriel’s house, but they could not sleep at all in Snowdin and could not have napped longer than half an hour at Mettaton’s resort. They had been in such a rush to get to the barrier they had neglected paying their body’s bills, and now their body was presenting the tab. Between the physical fatigue and the mental and emotional exhaustion of everything that had happened after Asgore they never stood a chance. Frisk slumped over onto their side, barely managing to move their upper arm underneath their head to use as a pillow. The song continued but the voice was different now. It was a crystal-clear mezzo-soprano, less confident than Toriel’s singing but with no reason for a lack of faith. There was only one person who would be singing, and only one reason for them to do so now, but they could not even lift their head to be sure. It did not matter. They hiccuped and closed their eyes as their stress and cares melted away.

 _Sea spirit, paddling in the night_  
_Drifting on the water_  
_Tiny boat caught in a whirlpool_  
_Spinning lazily_  
_Paddle down, resting their eyes, wond’ring if and when you’ll come_  
_Hurry there and meet her soon, on that boat of dreams_  
_Somewhere dark and calm, floating along, drifting off to sleep_  
_Somewhere dark and calm, swaying gently, drifting off to sleep_

Their last coherent thought was: _I was right. Chara_ is _able to love, even if they can’t feel it._ After that they had trouble keeping track of what was real and what was a memory. Were they in a bed, or in the hall? Chara then and Frisk now felt too alike, it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began. Just before sleep claimed them they felt a pair of lips gently touch the top of their head. They were fairly sure this was Toriel giving Chara a last peck before leaving them for the night, but even knowing it was impossible some small part of them hoped it was Chara showing them tenderness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I considered adding the last part of this chapter to the next one, ending the chapter on the cliffhanger of Chara’s death. I decided the clarity of keeping the Third Person Limited perspective consistent from Chara to Frisk within a chapter outweighed the troll potential of letting subscribed readers believe I killed one of the main characters for a week.  
> The lullaby Chara inherited from Toriel is based on “Der Mond, das Meer” from Ever 17. A good faith attempt has been made to keep to the eclectic meter of the original song at the expense of an accurate translation. I considered using a more traditional lullaby or even leaving the lyrics out entirely, but what is fanfic for if not being self-indulgent when the whim takes you? As far as explaining why I used this song in particular, it’s because Ever 17 was the first really great visual novel I ever played and it has a number of things to say about the relationship between player and game, which is definitely in Undertale’s wheelhouse. I would describe myself as a recovering weeaboo; I know entirely too much about anime and Japanese pop culture but all my references are a couple years out of date because I haven’t read manga or watched anime in nearly half a decade.  
> The last few chapters have been intense, so I think it’s time for a breather. Next time will be a bit lighter and fluffier, but that doesn’t mean the plot won’t move forward. We are exactly 4 chapters from the end of this story, and the last one will be fairly short. Stay determined…


	19. Old Familiar Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a match is made.

_Chara looked at their face in the mirror. Their cheeks were marked with a ruddy blush to contrast with their pale skin tone, and their hair hung down to their jawbone and chin in flat strands. Dark circles surrounded their eyes, contrasting to make the red irises stand out more. Their bangs used to hang low to partially conceal them, but recently they had been asking Toriel to trim them short. The monsters liked the red, so there was no reason to hide anymore. It was still them. Try as they might, they continued to be themself. Then perhaps there was no escape from it. No matter what they did they would continue to be a threat. They thought they could have changed down here, away from the rest of humanity. But what happened to Asgore made everything perfectly clear. It was a warning: “Don’t get close to these people, or terrible things will happen to them and it will be your fault.” Demons did not deserve things like love or a family. How could they in good conscience allow the Dreemurrs to love them if it meant falling under a curse? This was all because of their selfishness, their greed and thoughtlessness and-_

_The Chara in the mirror changed. Their eyes widened and their pupils dilated to become large black holes. The pupils did not stop growing, crowding out and swallowing everything else in the eye up until there was nothing there but cold, empty blackness. The darkness leaked out like tears and dribbled down their face, and a sickening sweet smell like rotting flowers filled the air._

_Chara screamed and punched the mirror. The impact left marks on their hand and shards clattered to the ground with a crunch and a tinkle. Their heart was racing, they sucked down air in greedy gulps but no matter how much they inhaled it was never enough. They retreated from the mirror frame until their back hit the wall. Their face! What happened to their face?!_

“ _Chara, are you okay?!”_

_They whirled toward the source of the sound; Asriel was rushing toward them. Oh god, he did not see that did he? They hurriedly wiped at their eyes, hoping whatever that stuff was did not leave marks. But their face was fine. They had to make something up fast but the words would not come. All they could do was blurt out, “I tripped.” Like that would explain everything._

_Asriel shook their head. “As long as you’re fine there’s nothing to worry about. Oh!” Asriel took Chara’s right hand in their paws and looked over the red blotches on their knuckles. “That red stuff is leaking out. That means you’re hurt, right?”_

“ _It’s… I’ll be fine,” Chara finally answered the question, pulling their hand back. “It’s just a little cut, no reason to get scared about it. It’ll heal up on its own in a minute even without green magic to close the wound.”_

_Asriel seemed a little disappointed; maybe he expected a better answer? But what they said was the truth. “Still, that was a really amazing face you put on. It was so creepy you scared yourself! I didn’t know humans could do that!”_

_Chara’s lip trembled. He saw it. He did not seem bothered by it but that was probably only because he was a child; he did not know it was abnormal. Toriel and Asgore would be much less understanding, let alone the other monsters. Then the fairy tale would end. “Please,” they said. “Please don’t tell anyone. This… isn’t something humans can do, normally. It’s weird and it’s scary and I don’t know what’s happening to me. So… let’s just keep it a secret for now, okay?”_

_Asriel blinked. “Um… sure, Chara.”_

* * *

Frisk was bawling into their knees uncontrollably. After confessing every one of their sins, every dark deed and evil thought, Frisk curled up into the fetal position and started wailing. Chara could feel Frisk’s deep sense of self-recrimination, every ounce of regret and shame. They could not be mad at them even for a moment. They would not have wished this kind of feeling on anyone, let alone a child who had come so far all on their own. ‘If we fall down we have to pick each other back up. No one else will do it for us.’ But what were they supposed to do? Usually when people were this open with their emotions Chara wanted to run and hide to wait for it all to blow over. But they could not get away from Frisk no matter how they tried. And anyway, Frisk needed them. They were not sure how to help at first. Words were worth almost nothing; words abandoned Frisk when they were needed, flitting like fireflies as they grasped madly for the one they wanted. And besides which Frisk seemed to understand only about half the words Chara used at any given time. Frisk did not trust words, not really. But Chara could not give them gifts, or hold their hand, or any other sympathetic action. All they had was their voice.

They remembered something then. A long time ago, within the first couple months of falling to the Underground. It had been dark in the garden for almost a week, and Chara realized for the first time how deleterious it was for a human to be utterly without sunlight. They had first been irritable, then downright beastly, and finally inconsolable for reasons they could not understand at the time. Toriel kept them company, singing a sad, soft lullaby about the moon and the sea and other things from the surface monsters would never see except in their dreams. It calmed them, allowed exhaustion to finally catch up, and sent them off to sleep. They asked Toriel to teach it to them later and even now they remembered the words. So they sung. Within moments Frisk’s sobs slowed, then stopped. They fell over onto their side and curled up, and even the brightness of the Final Hallway was unable to win against Frisk’s exhaustion and Chara’s lullaby.

They could not feel anything from Frisk now. Their breaths were steady and rhythmic, in and out at a slow pace. Poor kid, as physically taxing as their journey had been it had been even more mentally and emotionally grueling. It was not surprising they broke down after all that. When Frisk had first told them about it Chara thought the power to Save and Load was amazing, but there was something insidious about it too. When you could erase all the consequences of your actions there was no limit to what you might do. But Frisk realized, almost too late, this was a false promise. Erase consequences? Loading did no such thing. It simply deferred them, delayed them, and had them seep into your heart and mind until they changed who and what you were. No one, not even someone with command over time and space, was above consequences. Hopefully the sleep would calm their nerves while giving Chara some time to process what was going on. That meant no sleep for them, but they did not get tired anymore. Such was a limitation of a frail human body.

Chara heard approaching footsteps. They looked up in a panic but calmed when they saw who was coming. Sans waddled up to the sleeping human, swaying side to side. “guess things didn’t go so well, huh chara?” he said to the empty air. Chara had been about to answer when they remembered he could not sense them. “wanted to talk to you for a bit. pretty convenient that the kid’s asleep so they don’t have to hear it. still, couldn’t they have picked a better spot for a nap…? ah well, i’ll bring ‘em home in a bit.”

Chara sighed. “Thanks Sans.”

“… Thanks Sans…” Frisk whispered in a drowsy monotone.

“oh hey,” Sans said, grin widening. “that’s interesting. i guess you can sorta talk while the kid’s asleep.” He held up five fingers and began slowly curling them back into his palm one by one. Five… four… three…

Wait a moment. How did Sans know that Frisk was repeating Chara’s words just now? There should have been no way he could tell it was Chara talking to him unless he could hear-!

Sans put down his last finger and tilted his head to the side, his glowing eyes staring directly at Chara. “right on time,” he snickered as he sat down cross-legged. “you always were pretty smart.”

Oh my god Sans punked them. From the moment he had appeared on the snowfield he had absolutely _punked_ them. “H… how long…?”

“since the seventh human,” Sans said. “though it’s probably closer to the truth to say, ‘since the accident’. the one that wiped gaster from existence and gave me a few new tricks, like the shortcuts.” He stopped and held up a hand. “short answer: no, i can only shortcut to places i’ve been before so i can’t sneak through the barrier. that was the first thing you asked the last time and the answer hasn’t changed. back on topic, i’m not sure why i pretended not to see you this time. maybe i was still a little angry.” Sans fiddled with something in his pocket. “the seventh human told me what really happened that day. when you two went to the surface. he told me that’s why you weren’t there anymore. he said you were so distraught you said you’d rather not exist than face up to what you’d done. he could have gone back and tried to save you, but he didn’t even try. ‘life for a life and eye for an eye, those who kill have to die,’ as he put it.” He sighed. “i’d never wanted to kill anybody so bad in all my life.”

Chara felt the hairs on the back of their neck stand up. “Him, or me?”

Sans chuckled, but there was no mirth in it. “even now i’m still not sure. for a while i tried to hate you. couldn’t. anger fades with time, but hate needs to be fed constantly. it takes a lot of effort and i just don’t have it in me any more. the hurt fades a lot, with time.” The lights in his eyes went out and his tone became menacing. “but it doesn’t go away. thirty years is a hell of a long time, chara. do you have something you want to say to me now that maybe i should have heard before, back when i cared?”

Chara shook their head. “I can’t apologize for something that can’t be forgiven.”

He nodded slowly, and the lights in his skull appeared dimly. “that’s an interesting way of looking at things. but you know, an apology ain’t just for you. speaking from experience, it’s important for the people you hurt to hear it from your lips.”

“Then I’m sorry,” Chara said, turning their face away so he would not see their eyes blacken. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I’ll say it as much as you want, I’ll say it ‘til my throats burns and my lungs burst! I don’t even want forgiveness, I’ll settle for being forgotten! I’ll do anything, Sans, anything if it will help everyone move past what I did!… But it won’t work. I can’t bring Toriel and Asgore back together. I can’t make Asgore not be a murderer. And the person I most want to apologize to is already gone forever.”

“… it’s weird,” Sans said after a pause. “it’s been thirty years for me, but for you it basically just happened. wish i could tell you it fades with time, but i dunno. the sadness does, a little, but i wouldn’t know about the guilt. but i am gonna tell you one thing i know for sure. asgore never killed anybody.”

Chara raised their head. “… What?”

“i only personally saw the sixth and seventh die. i have my suspicions about the others, but i know for a fact asgore didn’t kill them. for all his power his LOVE is still 1, and before you go giving me the stinkeye mine is too.” Then he mumbled under his breath, “or at least it is in this timeline.”

Chara rose into the air, eyes wide. “You knew?!”

Sans leaned away. “wait, you know?”

There was a long moment of silence between them. Chara swallowed. “… This human told me. They gained a power when they fell, something like time travel. How did you…?”

Sans nodded. “part of dr. gaster’s research was about that. seems every human had that power, every one except you. or maybe because things were peaceful you never had reason to use it?” Chara shrugged in response. They had never seen the lights Frisk described, and they certainly had never heard of any other humans having that power. “a couple of the humans which came told me about it, and about you. gaster thought it might be possible to collect the soul energy of monsters who’ve died in the past. even if it didn’t work he thought it might give him insight into how the humans were doing it. but… well, that’s an old story.”

In Sans-speak that meant “I don’t want to talk about that”. Sans had mentioned it previously, about how one of Gaster’s experiments led to his end. It seems Chara was not the only bad thing to ever happen to him.

Sans put his hand on Frisk’s head solemnly. “well, guess we’d better get going. sorry i can’t offer ya absolution or oblivion or whatever it is you want, but just know i don’t hate you. and, uh, the look on your face tells me nothin’ i could possibly say would be as bad as what you’ve said to yourself. doesn’t have to be today or tomorrow, but someday you’re gonna have to forgive yourself.” Chara had no response to that. “alrighty then. next stop, what’s destined to become the most popular place for ladies and gentlemen all across the underground.”

The world flickered like someone turned the light switch off and back on very fast, and suddenly Sans was laying Frisk upon a bed shaped like a race car. Oh, they must be in Papyrus’ room. Papyrus was sitting at his computer and he stiffened the moment his brother appeared. “Sans! I’ve told you a dozen times-” He stopped when he saw Sans laying Frisk on the bed. “Very well, I shall let it pass this once. Is the human all right?”

“just tired,” Sans said. “is it okay if they borrow your bed for a bit? i’d put 'em on mine, but my ball of laundry looks so comfortable there already.”

Papyrus waved him off. “It’s perfectly all right in the circumstances. I shall keep watch over the human and make sure no harm comes to them!”

“so i don’t have to do anything? cool. welp, back to work for me.” Sans shuffled out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Papyrus got up from his computer chair and put his hands on his hips. “Well! That certainly changes my plans for tonight! I was going to spend it on social media, but I shall have to be social instead. Oh dear, Chara! What’s wrong? Why so glum?”

Chara considered lying to them. It would be easy, oh so easy, to tell him nothing was wrong and to mind his own business and anyway they did not want to talk about it. But they could tell they were hanging onto life by a thread, and if their resolve wavered they were going to break their promise to Frisk. “I did something bad, Papyrus. Really bad. Before I met any of you, except Sans. I did something stupid and my best friend died because of it. Not only that but my friend’s family broke up. I never meant for anything to happen but it’s still my fault.”

Papyrus nodded, cupping his chin in his hand and nodding sagely. “Well, that certainly seems like quite a pickle. Personally I believe anyone can be a good person if they try! I understand some people have to try harder than others; I mean, I hardly need to try at all! So I apologize if this sounds like I’m talking down to you, because I am speaking as someone who wants to make you as great as me and just thinks you need a little hand up. Guilt is important; if you hurt someone you care about and who cares about you, you should feel guilty for those specific acts. Guilt means you think of yourself as good and are upset you did not live up to your own potential. But you shouldn’t feel ashamed. Shame is feeling bad about who you are, and if you feel shame its because the bad thing has become part of your identity.”

“But it is! It’s all people are going to remember me for. Why shouldn’t I feel ashamed about it?”

Papyrus knelt on one knee and put his hand on Chara’s shoulder. As in he laid his hand there and they _actually felt_ the pressure of it pushing down on them. Chara’s brain locked up completely from this unexpected stimulus, allowing Papyrus to complete his pep talk uninterrupted. “Chara, what you did is not who you are. Even if you did a bad thing that does not make _you_ bad. If you believe you are a bad person, you won’t be able to become your best self."

Chara reached up with trembling fingers and grabbed Papyrus’s hand. “H-How are you doing this? Even Frisk can’t touch me…”

“Oh? Perhaps I can touch you because I don’t know I shouldn’t be able to.”

Did he actually believe real life worked on cartoon logic or was he trying to dodge the question? Chara was usually pretty good about reading people, but for how expressive their face could be Papyrus was a cipher. In any case it was clear he either did not know or would not say, and either way asking further would be pointless. They pointedly pushed his hand away. “Well, ask for permission. You got lucky this time, but sometimes I can’t stand being touched.”

Papyrus frowned. “Oh no! I’m terribly sorry, that was very rude of me. I will remember that for the future. I will definitely not touch you any further without your approval. Anyway, give it some thought! And if you ever need anything, feel free to lean on me emotionally, physically, or metaphorically.”

“I’ll think about it,” they said. Their gaze went to the form sleeping in the race car bed. “Sorry, Frisk stole your bed. Where are you going to sleep?”

“Oh, don’t worry. I don’t sleep.”

Chara blinked. “Wait, really?”

“I’m far too busy to sleep. And what about you? Do you need a ghost bed, or…?”

“I just kinda disappear when I fall asleep,” Chara explained. “Frisk can wake me up pretty easily, but I think it would freak them out if they woke up without me around to explain how they got here. So it looks like I have to hold a vigil for them.” They were not looking forward to this; patience was their worst trait, and now they were in a situation where they could do nothing but wait.

“In that case!” Papyrus said, beaming. “I can keep you company! And I’ve got just the thing… board games!”

Chara winced. “No, that’s really not-”

But he was already rummaging through the closet. “Don’t worry, human ghost friend! Papyrus is an able teacher and a caring opponent! I will match my skills to yours, so as not to discourage you with my superlative skills!”

Chara winced. How long were they going to have to put up with this…?

* * *

Papyrus held up a set of cards facing towards Chara. Chara studied the cards carefully, trying to figure out what the best move would be. Finally they pointed at a card. Papyrus flipped it around, frowning. “Chara, since you’re still new to this game I feel obligated to inform you playing this card will make you lose. Do you want a do-over?”

They looked up at him. “Whaaaat? How do you figure?”

Papyrus flipped the card around and pointed to the text. “Olympic Games gives me the option to boycott the games at the cost of DEFCON. If I do that, DEFCON will drop to 1 and end the game with your loss.”

“Wait, you’re the one who dropped DEFCON to 1, wouldn’t you lose?”

“Even if my actions caused it to fall, it would happen during your turn so you’re responsible.”

Chara frowned. “But that’s… I’m not doubting you, but lemme see the rules.” Papyrus had already opened the rulebook to the relevant page. It only took a moment to see he was right. In fact the rules cited this exact situation as an example. “Alright, I accept your mercy, I’ll take the do-over. Darn, this game is hard.” Though they grumbled and complained they really were enjoying themself. When Papyrus mentioned board games they were afraid it would be something for kids like Candyland, but the game they actually pulled out was several orders of magnitude more engaging. Like most human games it revolved around competition, but in this case wiping out humanity was a loss condition; each side had to subtly maneuver events and influence to gain control of territories without allowing the geopolitical situation to devolve into thermonuclear violence. Papyrus was an able teacher, explaining the game mechanics and strategy patiently while Chara absorbed the knowledge like a sponge. They would switch off sides after each game so Chara could learn the subtleties faster. So far Chara felt better playing as the USSR side and its potential for early-game victories than the US side, which became more powerful as the game stretched on and favored a patient, reactive playstyle completely at odds with Chara’s temperament. Like most games it had originally come to the Underground via the dump, meaning very few of its original pieces were still there; luckily the game manual listed all the pieces needed for play. This allowed Papyrus to craft replacement cards and find replacement pieces for what was missing. The dice were obviously re-appropriated from different games, being of different sizes and colors from each other. Poker chips, Monopoly houses, and various sundry items were being used as markers so the board appeared to be a panoply of pieces. An outsider would not have been able to make heads or tails of it, but the state of the board was clear as day to the players: Chara was losing rather badly.

“Fret not, auxiliary human! It took Sans and I several months before we became good at this game. You still have the opportunity to turn the game around with some clever plays and good draws.” Chara made a “hmm” sound as they grimaced at the cards in their hand. They needed better draws than what they were getting, that was for sure…

Frisk suddenly bolted upright with a gasp, looking around at the unfamiliar environs. Oh good, just what Chara needed, something to break their concentration. “Mornin’,” they said. “Welcome back to the world of the living. Sans gave you a lift back to his brother’s room and Papyrus has been keeping us company.”

Frisk calmed down a bit once they realized where they were. “How long was I out?”

Papyrus provided, “Ten hours, give or take!”

Chara’s eyes widened. “What, seriously? This is only our third game!”

“Each game can take three to four hours, especially if you’re learning,” Papyrus said as though expecting this. “It certainly passed the time effectively!”

“That it did,” Chara had to admit. “Thanks for showing me this game, Papyrus. I had a lot of fun.”

“HEY NERDS!” The door flew off its hinges with a loud crash, flying across the room and embedding itself horizontally in the wall above Papyrus’s computer. A blue fishy-looking head poked around the doorframe. “Is the kid up yet?”

Frisk had pulled the covers up to hide behind them at the sound, and now slowly lowered them to peek over the edge. “If I wasn’t, I think that would have woked me up.”

“That’s great!” Undyne marched over and sat on the bed. “I’m not going to ask what you’re doing back here, it’s convenient for me you haven’t left to go see Asgore yet. Listen, before I lose my nerve I got a little favor to ask you.” She produced a small envelope, sealed with a tiny pink heart sticker but otherwise unmarked. “Can you go deliver this to Alphys in Hotland?”

Chara felt their lip quiver on seeing the heart. That was a… that made this a… and that meant Undyne…!

“Aha!” Papyrus said. “So you’ve decided to take my advice! If you have someone else deliver your letter, you won’t change your mind halfway there and Alphys is sure to receive it!”

Undyne’s cheeks turned a shade of crimson. “I’m just asking them because Hotland sucks! Even with the water cooler Alphys added for me it’s too hot and I hate going there!”

“I’ll make sure she gets it,” Frisk promised.

“Undyne, you can do so much better than that unsophisticated turbo-weeb…” Frisk and Papyrus desperately tried to pretend they had not heard Chara’s grumbling.

“Will you stay for breakfast?” Papyrus asked. “I don’t have spaghetti ready, but we have plenty of oatmeal. It’s the kind with the dinosaur eggs in it!”

Frisk stayed for breakfast and enjoyed the oatmeal. Undyne crunched away on a bowl of cereal, explaining that some days she did not have enough ‘spoons’ to put together a full meal so she always kept an adequate supply of the stuff around. She pointedly avoided answering whether the real reason they kept cereal around was because Undyne was banned from the kitchen. Papyrus offered to let Frisk stay long enough to watch an encore presentation of their fight with Mettaton, but Frisk declined. They had an errand to run after all.

So Frisk left the house of the skeleton brothers with a sigh. They had only taken a few steps when they turned to Chara. “I’m… sorry, about before. I didn’t know what else to do. Sorry you ended up taking care of me, even though I’m so…” They pulled their head between their shoulders like a turtle trying to hide in its shell.

Okay, guess they were having this conversation now. Chara inhaled deeply, summoning up their courage. “I’m going to be honest. I… can’t say I’m _okay_ about all this. I don’t think I can really grasp what you’re capable of. I try to and I get kinda confused trying to keep it all straight. I’m not sure I’m allowed to forgive you when I don’t understand what you’ve done. But I don’t think you’re unforgivable. Through all of this you only ever lost it at Undyne and I. Undyne was trying her hardest to kill you at the time, so there’s extenuating circumstances there. And I can’t get mad at you for killing me, _I’ve_ killed-” They squeezed their eyes shut. Why were they so terrible at this? “I’m sorry, that’s a bad example.”

Frisk made a barely perceptible nod. “… I saw your scar. I know about cutting, and that’s not what that’s from. I unnerstand.” It was clear from the way they said it that they really meant, ‘Please continue.’ It seemed they wanted to hear more about the wide-jagged scar across Chara’s wrist about as much as Chara wanted to talk about it, ie not at all.

“What I mean is, you’re trying. Regardless of the reasons you’ve never stopped trying to do the right thing. You could have left Undyne dead but you didn’t. You could have started killing monsters at any time, but you didn’t. I think it’s normal to wish mistakes away, you just didn’t realize where the logical conclusion of that thought was until you were nearly there. That’s not _so_ bad, all things considered. I do have a question, though. Up there, in Asgore’s hallway. When you saved me. How many times did you have to Load?”

Frisk gripped their hand tighter. “I didn’t. Got it first try. But only ‘cause… ‘cause I had done it and watched it so many times. I knew what was going on. I knew why. That’s how I could stop it.”

Chara took a deep breath. “If you had failed, would you have-”

“I’d have Loaded as many times as it took.” Frisk’s words slammed down like iron bars. “I would never give up on you. Never.”

They nodded. “I see. Then I think it’s okay for us to still be friends.”

Frisk looked up hopefully. “You… you’re not mad?”

“I’ve been dead for thirty years. Why would you ever expect me to be _lived_ with you?” Frisk snerked, then chortled, then finally started laughing. Huh, Chara had not really expected that. It was far from their best pun, they had to mispronounce the word to make that one work. But Frisk was doubled over, needing to put a hand on Papyrus and Sans’ house for stability. “So my puns are finally getting to you?”

Frisk shook their head and rubbed their eyes. “No. It’s just, I can tell when you make a joke because of the tone of your voice. But you haven’t made one since the CORE. And… hearing that, it made me think maybe things’ll be okay after all.” Talking with Papyrus and Sans had helped them process, and being up while Frisk slept allowed their head to settle. Chara did not explain this, but did not have to. Frisk did not need to understand every reason and nuance to accept something they felt was true. Frisk continued, “I’m… never gonna use this power again. Not unless I die, or someone else dies. I’m gonna own up to my mistakes, and keep going forward. That’s the only way I can stay good.”

“I’m glad for that,” Chara said. “That you still think of yourself as good.” At least one of them should. “So, now that everything’s a little more calm… can you tell me what happened? I’m still in the dark.”

“Sorry,” Frisk said with a nod. “It… might get a little long.”

* * *

Frisk spared no detail they could remember. They described their attempts to deal with Asgore, including their brief flirtation with the idea of a ‘Reset’. Frisk’s words did not convey their frustration, but the way their face crunched and their fists clenched told Chara what they had been going through. Frisk had lost count of how many attempts it took them to beat Asgore, and when they finally did it took everything they had to keep from finishing the job. Then… Flowey. His story of being a monster back from the dead. His ruthlessness and cruelty. How he tortured Frisk to the breaking point. And then… Chara had stopped Frisk from killing him.

Chara pointed to themself. “Really? I did that for _Flowey_? After watching him murder Asgore and butcher you a whole bunch of times? I… I can understand not wanting to kill someone defenseless, but to try and put myself between you and him…? I’m sorry, I’m not sure what I would have been thinking.”

Frisk did not have an explanation either. They stood up to dust the snow off themself. “You said something like, you couldn’t let him hurt me or let me hurt him.” No, that was not a useful clue. Frisk had said previously they had killed Undyne, and they could not imagine themself going that far even for her. And they liked Undyne! “A moment later you said the only way to break the barrier was to go through. Then…” Frisk bit their lip.

“It’s okay,” Chara said quickly. “I get the idea. Napstablook showed us your soul and mine are separate; that’s why I’m a ghost and not a voice in your head. I realized it was possible the barrier would see us as two different people. I could add my soul power to yours, but that’s only enough to get one person through. The moment you stepped through our connection would break and I’d be trapped. And you’re right, I kept it a secret because I knew you wouldn’t go through if you knew I’d die. That was pretty rotten of me, I should have thought more about how you felt.”

Frisk rubbed at their eyes. “It’s okay now. But I don’t like your plan. It sucks.”

“Dozens of people manage to die every day, but after so many tries I still haven’t gotten the hang of it.” They chuckled to themself.

Frisk did not share their humor. “That’s not funny.”

Chara regained control of themself and looked back with a blank expression. “No. It’s not.” Tiny flakes sprinkled down around them in a slow ballet. It was not a real snow; the Underground did not really get weather. The wind would merely pick up snow from one place and sprinkle it somewhere else, so the total volume of snow never changed. Nothing new was ever added, only what already existed rearranged itself in different configurations. Chara looked up into the sky and asked, “So what now? Going to Alphys has to be some kind of trap. Now that we know what Flowey’s going to do, maybe we’d be able to stop him from killing Asgore.”

“Maybe,” Frisk said. “But Flowey memembers what happens when I Load, I think. He’ll eggspect it, and he can’t get another chance at those souls. We can’t let him. And we can’t ignore her, we promised Undyne. And be nice to Alphys! It’s not her fault Undyne likes her, so it’s not fair to get mad at her for stealing Undyne away.”

Were they ever going to get tired of teasing them? “Okay okay, geez. Look, I don’t like Undyne that way, and I don’t hate Alphys. The two of us have a lot in common, I think. It’s just… I don’t get her. People who have that kind of crippling self-loathing don’t seek the spotlight with a job like Royal Scientist, and that’s not the kind of job you can get without trying no matter how brilliant you are. I’m missing something here.” They rubbed the back of their neck, but no new information was forthcoming. "I guess we'd better go, then."

Frisk began walking up the street to get a ride from the Riverperson. “You have a pretty singing voice,” they said suddenly, smile widening. “Sorry I couldn’t say it at the time.”

Chara felt their cheeks get warm. “It’s nothing special. I’m not any more talented than anyone else. But… thank you. But if you really want to thank me, never tell anyone else I did that.”

“Who would I tell?” That was a good point. They waved as they walked up to the boat. “Hi! Are you going to Hotland?”

“Tra la la,” the Riverperson said in a sing-song tone. “If that’s what you wish. I love my boat, so if you give me a destination I’ll give you a ride. Hop on.”

* * *

The Riverperson sang a random song as he paddled down the river. The words were all nonsense, but the inanity and the gentle lapping of the waters was rather calming. Before they knew it they were on the shores of Hotland, just a short walk away from the main laboratory. The door was locked, so Frisk slid the envelope under the door and knocked. Chara dusted off their hands. “Well, that errand’s done. What now?”

“Dunno. Flowey said to talk to Alphys, he didn’t say what I should do if I couldn’t meet her.”

Chara thought for a moment. “I suppose there are a couple areas of the Kingdom of Monsters you haven’t been to yet. We took the most direct route from the Ruins to the castle so there’s still a lot of stuff to see. Heck, we could probably spend all day in the capital if you-”

Alphys nearly ran straight into Frisk as she sped through the opening lab door as a yellow blur. “Un…! Wait, you? Did you deliver this?” Frisk nodded tentatively. “Oh… oh! This is… quite a s-surprise! I thought you wouldn’t want to see me ever again after… well, and not just that, but this?” She held up a letter written on pink stationary. Chara could not read it from their vantage point but there were an awful lot of hearts on it. “Okay, I’ve decided!” Alphys continued. “Come in, come in! Get out of the heat!” She waved them into the lab and disappeared up the stairs. “Make yourself comfy while I get ready!”

The lab was just as much of a mess now as it had been before. Alphys had not even cleaned up the bits of plaster and drywall Mettaton had blasted through to make his dynamic entry. Speaking of the robot, his torso and head were resting on a workbench. Frisk ran up to him the moment they spotted him. “Mettaton!” they greeted. “I’m so glad you’re okay!”

“Better than okay. Alphys is finally going to finish my body! Just a few quick replacements and I can be my fabulous self all day every day!” He looked at the stumps where his limbs used to be. “By the way, have you given any thought to being a permanent addition to my show? My pieces with you have been a ratings bonanza, and I love to give the audience what they crave!”

“No battles to the death!” Frisk set their terms immediately.

“You drive a hard bargain, human, but I think I can work with that. I’ll have my people draw up the papers and talk with your people. We’ll do lunch!”

Chara put a finger to their lips, studying Mettaton closely. They turned away, looking at the ceiling for a moment… then dashed toward Mettaton with their palm extended as though to slap him in the face. Mettaton flinched and tried to jerk their head back. “Aha!” Chara shouted in triumph, stopping their flight and pointing. “I knew it! You can see me!… How can you see me?”

Mettaton rolled his eyes. “Oh, very well. I might as well spill the beans… I’m originally a ghost, darling, that’s why I can see you. I pretended I couldn’t because ghosts don’t show up on camera. I don’t know why other people can’t see you, though. I became corporeal by joining with this metallic body. Alphys presented me as a robot she built with a soul, and Asgore made her the Royal Scientist on the spot.”

Chara nodded. “So basically she scammed Asgore to get her position. Although it’s such an ingenious cheat I’m almost inclined to say she deserves it anyway.”

Mettaton lamented, “We… had a bit of a falling out after that. It’s both our faults, really. Alphys thought if she finished my body I would have no more use for her and throw her away. I got caught up in my own fame and left her on her own when she was going through a rough time. It’s true what they say, ‘be kind on your way to the top, because the people you stepped on will see you again on your way back down’. I forgot that, and nearly lost my oldest and dearest friend! Even though she even became the Royal Scientist so she could get the money and support to finish this body!”

“So wait,” Chara said. “She doesn’t even want to be the Royal Scientist?”

Mettaton said, “She did at first. But something happened, something she won’t even tell me about. All I know is that she spends a lot of time in the bathroom now.”

Frisk looked at Chara. “I thought monsters don’t need bathrooms?”

“They don’t.” Chara’s grin became sinister. “Sounds like something we should check out, right?”

Frisk agreed a bit too readily and began sneaking toward the door. It failed to open at their approach, though, and they could not find a knob or switch or keypad to control it. They heard clawed feet click and clack on the downward escalator and hurriedly whirled away from the door, whistling non-chalantly. Alphys was dressed in a fine black evening dress with white polka dots. “S-sorry that took so long,” she said. “I’ve, uh, never worn this before! So I wanted it to look right… how does it look? Not terrible, right?” Frisk gave her an appreciative nod. “Good! That’s, uh, good. So! Let’s start the date, then.”

Frisk blinked. “Date?”

“Yes!” Alphys nodded. “I’m not doing anything important, and, well, you wouldn’t be here if you had any plans so I thought… let’s just have the date right now!”

Chara slapped themself in the forehead. “Undyne must have forgotten to sign the damn letter! She thinks you wrote it!”

Frisk tried to stammer out an explanation but Alphys had already grabbed them by the hand. “Come on! I have a great idea for where to go for our date!”

* * *

Chara was not impressed. “The dump…?”

“The dump!” Alphys said, spreading their arms wide to take in all the majesty of the locale. “Not much for ambiance, but it’s one of my favorite spots! Humans throw all kinds of neat stuff away and it ends up here… that’s how we get most of our technology and materials, from all their junk. Undyne and I come here all the time… this is where we first met, you know. She was exactly what I needed when I was… uh…” Alphys suddenly became very pale. “Uh, Undyne’s coming! I’m gonna hide, don’t tell her where I am!” She scurried behind a pile of trash just as Undyne splashed up.

“Hey, kid! Noticed you left your sneakers at the entrance, what are you doing here?” Frisk had left their shoes near the large central lake this time instead of hanging them around their neck. Less chance of them getting the dump's stink on them that way. “It’s just as well, I got a favor to ask! I need that letter back! I realized if _you_ deliver it… there might be some problems. So I’m gonna deliver it myself after all! C’mon, give it here!”

Frisk shook their head and winced. “Sorry Undyne… I already dropped it off…”

“What?! NGAAAAAAAAAH! And I forgot to sign I! I gotta find her quick, before she does something drastic!” Undyne ran off with a series of sploosh-sploosh-splooshes, as if she was specifically looking for the deepest parts of the river to stomp in.

Alphys peeked out from behind the trash heap. “So… that letter was…?”

Frisk nodded. “Undyne wrote it. I tried to tell you, but…”

Alphys tapped her index fingers together as she walked up to Frisk. “I guess it’s pretty obvious I like her too… a lot. I thought you wrote that letter, and so I wanted to, well, humor you as an apology for all the gross stuff I did. But it looks like… I just made things even worse, huh…”

Frisk shook their head. “No, it’s fine! I’ll support you no matter what, so let’s get you two together!”

Alphys wiggled her toes, causing tiny splashes in the shallow water. “But… I’ve built up this idea in her head that I’m brave and cool and smart, and I’m not any of those things, not really. If we start dating she’ll find out what I’m really like… then she’ll hate me and never speak to me again. I can keep seeing her as long as I keep the lie going, so it’s fine if I don’t confess. Isn’t it better to live a lie where everyone is happy, rather than insist on a truth where nobody is?”

“No way!” Frisk’s shout was loud enough to cause Alphys to step backward. “You two love each other! It’s not right for you to be apart! You can’t keep living a lie, you have to be honest with her and with yourself!”

“You can only say stuff like that because you have a red soul…” Despite this Alphys had a far-off look in her eye. The struggle in Alphys’ head lasted a good ten seconds. Then she nodded resolutely. “… You’re right. I’ll give it a try. But… I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say to her. I’ve n-never done anything like this before!”

Frisk looked to their companion at the same moment Chara turned toward them. Frisk was grinning widely. So was Chara. “Obviously…” Chara began. They both turned back to Alphys and shouted in unison, ““Let’s roleplay it!””

“R-roleplay?!” Alphys licked her lips. “Okay… okay! Yeah, that sounds like fun! Who’ll be Undyne?” Frisk pointed at themself. “Oh! Right, obviously, heh heh… okay, I’ll start.” She coughed to clear her throat then spoke in a highly-stilted and over-enunciated monotone, “Why, hello there, U-Undyne. How are you today?”

Frisk tried to lower their voice to match Undyne’s tone and only partially succeeded. “ _I’m_ fine,” they said, pointing their fingers at Alphys like guns. “ _You’re_ cute!”

Chara pinched the bridge of their nose. “Can you please be at least a tiny bit serious?”

Alphys waved Frisk off, “Oh Undyne, you’re always saying things like that!” Alphys somehow broke character with herself and her jaw dropped. “Oh… oh. Was it always that obvious…?” She recovered and returned to her “acting” voice, “But… um, Undyne, I have s-something I wanted to t-talk to you about.”

Frisk tilted their head to the side, giving Alphys a sweet and naive smile which did not look like anything Undyne would ever wear. “What is it, Alphys?”

Alphys’ blush deepened. Even if it was only practice she was having trouble looking at Frisk’s face. “W-well Undyne. The truth… what I mean to say is, I really… I need to tell you how I feel! I think you’re r-really b-brave and… and strong, and cool, and you always listen even when I’m talking about super-nerdy stuff and I always feel really good when you’re around and… rrrrrgh!” Alphys roared to the heavens, “ _I’M MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU, UNDYNE!_ ”

“WHAT did you just say?” Undyne stepped back into the clearing, jaw agape and shoulders hunched. “Alphys, are you…?”

Alphys shivered in wide-eyed terror like a cornered mouse. All their manic energy from just a moment ago was completely gone. “Oh. Undyne, haha. How odd… to see you here… now. Um, we were just on a date.”

“A date?!” Undyne glared at Frisk, who was shaking their head and waving their hands defensively.

“No, not like that!” Alphys said. “I meant we were just romantically roleplaying as you!” This explanation hardly did any better than the first. “What I mean is… uh, Undyne?” Alphys looked to Frisk for support, and in return they gave her an enthusiastic thumbs-up. “I… haven’t been very truthful with you.” She stepped toward Undyne, who was frozen in shock. “Those books and movies that I called history? They’re actually just comic books and anime, they’re not real. The grass in Waterfall that I said was scientifically important, I just use it to make ice cream! And sometimes when I tell you I’m busy with work, I’m really on social media wearing my pajamas! A-and…!”

“Alphys.” Undyne stopped her and put a hand on her shoulder.

“I know, I’m a horrible person. But I just wanted you to be impressed with me. I really do like you a lot, Undyne, and I thought the me that I am wasn’t good enough to be with you. So… so I lied to you, and that was wrong. But I still really-”

“Shhhhh,” Undyne shushed her, kneeling down to draw her into a hug. “Shhhhhh, it’s okay, Alphys. It’s all okay.”

“Undyne…” Alphys leaned into the hug.

Which was when Alphys stood up, still holding onto Alphys, and with a primal scream of “AFFECTIIIIIIIOOOOOOON SUPLEEEEEEEEEEEX!” bent over backwards to slam Alphys’ head into the ground. Water was blown in all directions by the force of the impact, leaving the ground dry for a few moments before the river water washed back in. Undyne released Alphys and stood up, pointing at her dramatically. “Listen up Alphys! What I like about you is your _passion_! When you care about something, you care about it 100% with no restraints and no limits! I don’t care whether you’re reading history or comics, it’s still nerdy crap! So nothing you said makes any difference to me! If you feel like you have to be worthy of me, then the only thing you need is to be happy with who you are! And I know exactly who can help you with that!”

Papyrus power-walked by in a t-shirt and jogging shorts, grinning madly. “Come on, Alphys! It’s time to start my super-elite training, exercising while hooting about how great we are!” As he passed by he effortlessly lifted Alphys with one arm without slowing his stride. Alphys hung like a sack of potatoes, and it was entirely possible she was unconscious. “We’ll start with jogging, then move to sit ups, crunches, squats, and…!” Undyne, Frisk, and Chara all watched him go without a word.

As soon as Papyrus was out of earshot Undyne clutched Frisk by the shoulders, eye wide with panic. “Human!” she pleaded. “You gotta tell me! She was lying, right? Those comics, those movies… they’re still real, right? Anime is _REAL_ , right?!”

Frisk thought for a moment, then opened their eyes so they could look directly at her. “Yes, Undyne. Anime is real.”

“HAHA!” Undyne released Frisk and pumped her fists. “I knew it! Ooooooh wow that was close, I thought my heart was going to break.” She coughed and regained her composure. “Well, sorry about the mix-up but I think things turned out alright. Things are going to get better for Alphys. Well, see you kid!” Then Undyne ran off to join Papyrus and Alphys.

Frisk stood in the water unmoving, trying to wrap their head around everything that had just happened. “Poor Frisk,” Chara said with a smirk. “You’ll get to go on a date which doesn’t devolve into complete silliness someday. But today… is not that day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uggggh, I wanted this to be a fluffy chapter but this came out instead? And there’s no time to fix it? Sorry everyone, maybe next time I sit down to write fluff I'll actually manage to do it.  
> I’ve been intentionally cagey regarding Sans and his ability to see Chara. I always planned for him to hide this ability, because it’s Sans and keeping secrets is one of the few things he puts any effort into. I was originally planning on not revealing this until the sequel series, but decided to let the cat out of the bag early because keeping it under his hat so long implies a bitterness that doesn’t fit Sans’ character. One of my regular commenters has been thinking about how weird it is that Sans couldn’t see Chara, and they are either laughing about this or screaming at their screen in rage. It’ll be fun to find out which.  
> In further Sans news, is anyone else amused that in the Japanese localization Sans uses the pronoun “oira” to refer to himself? If I were a betting man I would put money that this was done at least partially because the JP fandom was getting into huge arguments over whether he would use “boku” or “ore” and Toby decided to troll all of them at once because that’s the sort of thing he does.  
> Aficionados of designer board games might recognize the game Papyrus and Chara are playing. Others would need to be told the game is Twilight Struggle, listed at the time of this writing as the third best board game ever made on Board Game Geek. For comparison, Chess is #401 and Monopoly is #14151. What I’m trying to say is, Monopoly sucks. FIGHT ME.


	20. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which secrets are revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Those familiar with either Latin or medical terms can figure out the etymology of consilicytosis; it should mean something like, “abnormal cellular design”, referring to how the individual bits of monsters melt together under the strain of excess DT. I’m not familiar with either Latin or medicine so I had to get some help with the details.
> 
> WARNING: This chapter contains a panic attack, dissociation, suicide ideation, poor experiences with religion, and graphic depictions of child abuse and alienation.

“It wasn’t nice to lie to Undyne like that,” Chara remarked as Frisk put their socks back on. “You know anime isn’t real.”

Frisk held up a finger in protest and said one word: “Undyne.” When Chara raised an eyebrow they explained, “Undyne is anime in real life.”

Chara considered this. “That’s… a pretty clever way of looking at it. I’m not disagreeing with you, but I think she’ll be mad when she finds out that’s what you-”

They were interrupted as Frisk’s cell phone rang. Frisk answered the call and shoved it between their shoulder and cheek while they emptied sand from their shoes. “Hello?”

“Greetings, human!” came Papyrus’s voice from the other end. “This is your friend Papyrus, who you trust implicitly and would never steer you wrong.” In a quiet whisper he said something like, “I know, I’m trying my best to get to it!” Then he said louder, “Our mutual friend Alphys had a headache from an overzealous suplex and went… home. Very home. Soooo… I just wanted to tell you, for no particular reason, I feel very strongly you should also go there. Not to your home, but to her house. Lab. Place. I am absolutely sure only good things await you there!” With that he hung up. That was strange even by Papyrus standards.

Chara said, “Okay, no, this is absolutely definitely 100% a trick of some kind.” They saw the excited look on Frisk’s face and sighed. “We’re gonna fall for it, aren’t we?”

“Yup. Don’t know what else to do.”

“Alright. You want to take the long way, or get another ride from the Riverperson?”

“Ride,” Frisk said. “My legs are tired.”

One short trip down the river later and they were back in front of the lab. This time the door slid open at their approach. Mettaton was no longer occupying the workbench, which meant Alphys had probably finished his upgrades and he was getting ready for a comeback special. Alphys, however, was nowhere to be found. However…

“The door to the bathroom is open,” Chara said mischievously. “You can’t wait to see what’s inside.” Frisk made a show of checking over both their shoulders to make sure Alphys was not sneaking up on them, then dashed into the “bathroom”. Neither of them were prepared for what they found: a small room with a column of buttons trailing down the center. “It’s an elevator,” Chara said. “Let’s go to the bottom floor. That’s usually where they keep all the coolest stuff in a lab.” Frisk agreed and pushed the lowest button. The doors closed and the elevator started bringing them down.

This all seemed like a perfectly good plan right until the power went out, turning out the lights and causing the elevator to hurtle downward at a terrifying pace. Chara was slammed into and through the ceiling, being unable to fly faster than Frisk could fall and quickly running up against the edge of how far they could get from Frisk. The brakes tried to slow and stop the elevator’s descent, and Chara covered their ears from the squealing. After a few heart-pounding moments the elevator came to a crawl and landed with a heavy thump. Chara floated through the ceiling to get back to Frisk, who was still a little dizzy from their ordeal. “You alright?” they asked. Frisk nodded but said nothing. They punched at a couple of the buttons; the doors opened to a dark hallway but the elevator itself was stuck. “Looks like we’ve arrived. If you’re up to it we can start exploring; nothing better to do until the power comes back.”

Frisk exited the broken-down elevator, one hand on the wall to steady themself while they limped down the hall. The walls were dingy with dirt and age, and were even damaged in some places. Flourescent lights, dark from a lack of power, hung from the ceiling. The only illumination was a set of dim red emergency lights along the floors and the computer screens set into the wall. From what Chara could tell the main power cable from the CORE must have gotten damaged and instructions to boot up the original lab generator scrolled across the screens. Mixed in were a few entries from what appeared to be Alphys’ journal, detailing her experiments with what she called ‘Determination’, or ‘DT’.

“Oh hey,” Chara said as a couple key phrases on the computer screen caught their eye. “Alphys wrote here she’s piggybacking off the research of her predecessor. She must mean Dr. Gaster. She discovered the reason you can go through time: humans have this stuff called ‘DT’ which allows them to defy death and turn back time. It’s the reason human souls persist after death. She figured out how to isolate and extract it, then… Hey, can you hit the next page key on the keyboard here?”

Frisk complied. “I didn’t know you liked science.”

“I like learning all sorts of things,” Chara said. “Especially if it’s stuff most people don’t know about, like obscure constellations and rare flowers. In this case Alphys’ research might give me some idea why I’m still alive and how I ended up attached to you. Hm… nope. It looks like she went in a different direction. She figured if monsters had more DT their souls might persist after death. If that was the case she might have been able to slowly collect enough soul energy from dead monsters to equal the power of one human soul.” In which case Asgore would have been able to open the barrier without waiting for another human to fall down. Asgore must have known about Saving and Loading if Gaster and Sans had both known. He must have realized the only way to defeat a human with that power was to be an unbeatable brick wall, to be so brutal and overpowering and unforgiving that the human would think, _There’s no way I can win,_ and accept their death. But Asgore could not be like that. If he fought a human with the power to Save, he would lose. That explained Asgore’s look of terror when he first saw Frisk; he realized his time had run out. However, this begged the question of how those other souls ended up in his possession. They should have asked Sans about that when they had the chance. He had said he had ‘suspicions’, and that he personally saw two of them die but denied killing them himself. Did that mean suicide? Or did someone else kill them? Questions for another time. “Interesting stuff, but not what we need at the moment.” Chara turned away from the computer.

“Sans talked about DT too,” Frisk reminded Chara as they continued down the hall. “It had to do with his C3.”

Chronic consilicytosis, ‘meltdown’. Chara thought aloud, “DT must be naturally occurring in living beings but poisonous to monsters in excess. If that’s what causes meltdown… I don’t have high hopes for Alphys’ experiments.”

A vending machine in the hallway caught Frisk’s eye. They peered through the glass at the items inside. “It’s full of nothing but…” Frisk frowned deeply, letting the sentence trail away.

“Popato chisps.” Chara gave Frisk a small wink, and the human child smiled back. Frisk put in some gold and took a bag of chips for the road; their snack supply was in dire straights.

A bit further in they came across an examination room. Dirty hospital beds lined the north wall, the grime forming a sticky layer over the tops of the beds. A set of washbasins along the side of the room were clearly intended for doctors to scrub up before and after examinations. The setup offered no privacy, very much unlike the private examination room Chara got during their checkups. Frisk turned on one of the faucets, using both hands to turn hot and cold water on at the same time. “You must really like washing your hands!” Chara teased. Water oozed out of the faucet like a syrup and glowed with a pale light.

Actually, that could not be water. Water did not smile at you.

Frisk leapt back from the sink as the water coalesced into a trio of bloating blob shapes. Though they looked similar to each other they were not at all alike. Protrusions stuck out of their spherical bodies at odd angles: an arm topped one, while a spiked tail curved around another like a planetary ring. Their surfaces writhed and changed shape between scales, skin, fur, and other coverings. All three fixed Frisk with distended eyes, expanding their magic fields. Frisk paled and gave Chara the look that meant they wanted to know more. Chara only shook their head. “No data available,” they said in a shaky monotone.

Frisk looked back in shock. “What?!”

Their resolve faltered and they stammered, “I-I-I don’t know what they are! I’ve never seen anything like them!”

The “monsters” unleashed their attack. Bullets in the shape of misshapen faces appeared all around, eyes bulging and tongues lolling out of the sides of their mouths. The faces cackled a high, shrill laugh which tore at the edges of their sanity. Frisk retreated without looking away from the creatures until their back hit the wall. They swallowed, looking from one to another. The creatures made a horrible screeching noise as they approached. Oddly, the sound seemed to be coming from…

“Frisk! Your phone is making noise!” Frisk reached into their pocket with shaking fingers and put the receiver up to their ear.

“We are the Memoryheads,” hissed a voice distorted by static. There was an odd reverb to the voice, like multiple people were saying the same thing with a fraction of a second’s delay. “Won’t you join the fun?”

“No.” Frisk whimpered, shaking their head. “I don’t want to.”

The voice on the phone said, “That’s too bad. Be seeing you. _Lorem ipsum docet_.” Frisk’s soul disappeared and the three creatures turned away from Frisk to float down the hallway. Chara moved aside to let them past, but they did not seem to take any notice of them.

Chara said what was on both of their minds: “Alphys, what the hell did you do?!”

* * *

That was not the only strange denizen of the laboratory. One was a shambling dog-like monstrosity who only wanted to play; Chara was unsure how many dogs that counted as, so they were forced to give up their running tally. Another was a diaphanous bird who attacked themself with their own bullets. Bullets were originally intended to communicate and not fight, but Chara did not want to think about what it was trying to say by doing that. One tried to disguise itself as a Save Point, only being foiled because Chara pointed out they could not see Save Points.

But it was the last one that hit hardest. It looked a bit like a Cooldrake and mumbled “Sno… wy…” to itself over and over again. Bullets shaped like sickles or talons popped into being and drifted to the ground, bouncing twice before dissolving. Over and over, over and over.

Even Frisk was taken aback. “What is it doing?”

Chara swallowed, laughing once. “Seems like it’s losing itself. Its mind is so far gone it doesn’t remember how to use bullets anymore.” The thought reached deep inside and broke something in their mind. Chara starting laughing, softly at first and ramping up in volume and intensity. “Ha ha, you say something like, ‘You look terrible. Why are you even alive?’” Frisk turned to look at them but Chara could not read their expression. The world had a glaze like frosted glass over it, and they could not seem to focus on Frisk’s face. “What? You… didn’t say that?” Chara’s teeth began chattering and they tried to huddle into themselves. “It’s so cold.”

Frisk looked from Chara to the creature and back again, biting their lip. “Give me a pun. Something about snow or ice.”

Chara blinked. Puns? Why did they want puns now, didn’t Frisk hate puns? Never mind, it was too hard to think, it was too cold. “Um… how about, ‘Allow me to break the _ice_ ’?” Frisk repeated the joke, wincing as they did so. The creature chuckled, and Chara felt the temperature rise. Encouraged, Chara continued, “It’s always so _ice_ to meet _cold_ friends.” Again Frisk repeated it, to the creature’s delight. Chara took a deep breath. Frisk really would repeat anything they were saying right now. They were never going to get another chance at this, so they had better make it count. “ _Icy_ there’s no _rime_ nor reason for us to _sleigh_ one another, _snow_ let’s stop fighting and _Alp_ each other instead.”

By the time they reached the end of it Frisk was gritting their teeth in frustration, but it had the desired effect. The creature rumbled, “I… remem…ber…” and drifted off, leaving Frisk in peace.

The danger over, Frisk apparently decided they could now glare at Chara. Chara held up their hands defensively. “ _Frost_ off, you asked me for clever turns of _freeze_.”

“I’ll get you for this,” Frisk promised darkly.

* * *

One dead-end they ran into was a sort of viewing room. A large-screen television sat in the center of the room, powered on but showing nothing. On either side rested bookshelves lined with VHS tapes instead of books, some of which had covers Chara recognized. “So this is where my anime collection ended up. Looks like Alphys has expanded it a lot in the last thirty years.”

They heard a sharp inhale behind them. When they turned Frisk was wringing their hands nervously. “Um,” they started. “I’ve… been worried about this for a while, but I hafta be sure. Chara… are you a nerd?”

Chara clutched at their heart. “Ugh… my one weakness…”

Frisk chuckled. “It’s okay,” they promised. “You’re really smart, it would be weird if you weren’t a little of a nerd.” They frowned as they picked up an unlabeled tape. “What’s this?”

“It’s a tape,” Chara explained. “It’s what they had before DVDs. Um, do they still have DVDs on the surface…? Anyway, there’s a movie on here recorded on the magnetic tape inside. Just put it into that machine there and it will play.”

Frisk put the tape into the recorder, the ancient machine making bumps and clicks and whirs as it spun to life. The darkness on the screen changed a little; only vague shapes could be seen, like outlines of dark gray on a black background. But the audio was crystal clear; Asgore and Toriel in happier times, talking about their upcoming child. They were like that once, before Chara came. “This must have been taken with an old camcorder,” Chara explained. “It’s a home movie. I’m not sure what it was doing out, th-”

A brief flash of static and the shapes disappeared, leaving the screen in darkness again. But within only a moment someone shouted, “Okay, Chara, ready? Do your creepy face!”

(it hurts)

Chara clutched at their chest. It was him. The voice of the one most precious to them in life, locked away in an ordinary cassette tape. Chara could also be heard vaguely on the tape, but their voice was muffled and indistinct. They were probably speaking too quietly for the recorder to catch.

“That’s him, isn’t it?” Frisk asked. “Asriel.” Chara only nodded.

There was another flash of static. This time Asriel was recalling the buttercup incident. Frisk watched passively; they must have received a first-hand view of the account from Chara’s memories. Nothing here was strange to them. But then the lines of static reappeared. That should be end the of the tape, right?

“I… I don’t like this idea, Chara.”

They could not breathe. They had recorded this. Their hand must have slipped, they must have recorded part of that conversation, and that meant oh god oh god oh god

* * *

“ _Huh? Turn off the camera? Okay…” Asriel turned the camcorder off and looked at Chara strangely. “Is something the matter?”_

_Nothing was the matter, they just did not want there to be any record of this conversation. “Asriel, do you know of the prophecy the monsters are always talking about? Have you ever thought about what it means?”_

_Asriel smiled. Evidently he had wanted to talk about this but had been unsure how to broach the subject. “Yeah. I’ve heard Dad and the monsters. They call you ‘the future of humans and monsters’. I think they believe you’re the angel in that prophecy. And… and I think they’re right.”_

_Chara shook their head. “No, they’re wrong. In all the stories I’ve ever read prophecies never mean what they seem to: you have to pay attention to the wording. It says the one who has seen the surface will ‘return’ to free the monsters. That must mean they begin their journey here underground, see the surface, and then come back to free everyone. I have seen the surface, but I was always there. I am not ‘returning’ underground, so it can’t be referring to me.”_

_Asriel smiled nervously. “But… you’re the first human to ever fall down here. There has to be a reason for that. Just because of one word you can’t just-”_

“ _There is more. I can’t go through the barrier without the soul of a Boss Monster. The only way to get one would be for one of you to die, and I would never, ever let that happen. Besides, the only thing a human can do with a monster soul is to go through the barrier. I would not be able to convince other humans to help, and even if I could I would not be able to use their souls. I would escape, but I wouldn’t be able to do anything else. I can’t free anyone. I can’t be the angel.” They inhaled through their nose and let their smile widen. “But it will be alright. I know who the real angel is.” They grabbed Asriel by the shoulders and put their face close to his, letting their enthusiasm light up their face. “It’s you, Ree. You are the angel. You will cross the barrier. You will go to the surface and return. You will show humans and monsters can co-exist, you will get the humans to give you soul power, and you will break the barrier forever. I can’t save your people, but you can. And you will, Asriel. I know it.”_

“ _But Chara,” Asriel said nervously. “I can’t cross the barrier. I would need a human soul, and-”_

“ _That’s right,” Chara interrupted. “You need a human soul, my soul. I’m not like you, Ree. I won’t live forever. I’ll age, grow old, and die. I think that’s Asgore’s plan; you’ll absorb my soul when I die after a long happy life underground. But his plan will take too long. How long will I live underground? Seventy years? Eighty? More? But we have the power to get things started now. We can get started on freeing everyone now, so why wait?”_

“ _Chara, what are you saying?”_

“ _Buttercups.” Chara looked into Asriel’s eyes. “If I cut my wrists or get killed in an accident humans will say Toriel and Asgore murdered me for my soul. But if I get sick it’s no one’s fault, right? So I’ll eat buttercups. I’ll get an ‘illness’, I’ll die, and then you can take my soul right away. You’ll be able to cross the barrier and free everyone!”_

_Asriel’s paw clenched over the video camera. Neither of them realized he had squeezed the ‘record’ button. “I… I don’t like this idea, Chara.”_

“ _Ree,” Chara leaned closer. “Are… are you crying?”_

“ _Wh-what?” Asriel hastily wiped his eyes with his sleeve. “No. Big kids don’t cry.”_

_They knew what they would have to do. It would make them sick in their heart but they had to do it. He would thank them for it later, all the monsters would. But they absolutely needed Asriel to do his part or none of the plan would work. “Ree, I’ve never asked for anything these past two years. You and your family have made me so happy, more happy and loved than I’ve ever felt in my life. You saved my life when I fell, and every day you save my heart. I have to do something to repay you. My soul is the only thing I have of any value; you need it, and I want to give it to you. You and only you. I trust you more than anyone. Please do this, Ree. For me.”_

_He closed his eyes in thought and was silent for a moment before nodding. “You’re right.”_

“ _You aren’t just saying that for my sake?”_

“ _No! I’d never doubt you, Chara! Never!”_

_Chara sighed happily. “We can’t let anyone else know or they’ll try to stop us. It’ll be our secret. No relying on your parents, okay? We’ll have to be big kids. We’ll have to be tough.”_

_Asriel nodded, starting to get into it. “Y… yeah! We’ll be strong! We’ll free everyone! I’ll go get the flowers.” Asriel broke off in a run, a determined smile on his face._

_Chara closed their eyes and inhaled through their nose, taking in the smell of the Ruins. The smell of their home one last time. By this time tomorrow it would be all over._

_The bitterness of the first mouthful was like eating solid fire. Blisters formed in their mouth and throat and made them gag. The half-chewed lumps disappeared down their throat like monster food, but instead of a spreading effervescence it felt like their insides were breaking out in hives. This must have been what Asgore felt. He must have known from the first bite something was wrong, but he kept eating that pie with a smile on his face because he did not want to disappoint them. Realizing this filled them with-_

_(it hurts)_

_Asriel lower lip trembled. “If… we bake it into a pie, maybe it won’t-”_

_No, they could not allow that. Toriel had said Asgore might have died if the pie had not been burnt. Heat destroyed the poison. It would weaken its power, and they would not get another chance at this. They were the ones who put Asgore through this pain. They hurt him. The punishment had to fit the crime._

_Without a word Chara reached into the pile and grabbed another handful of flowers. They had to psyche themself up to do it, but they forced the yellow buds and green stems past their lips and brought their teeth together to chew._

_DETERMINATION._

* * *

Chara squeezed their eyes shut. No more. They could not take anymore. But the tape stopped and started again, and a new scene unfolded.

* * *

“ _Pssst… Chara… Please… wake up.”_

_Chara’s eyes fluttered open. Every inch of their body was in pain. They felt weak, like even the air was too heavy for their body to fight. They looked over to the side, where the old photograph of family plus Chara rested on the bedside dresser. It would not be long now. Soon Chara would give this family and these people the one gift it was in their power to give: freedom. Even a demon could become an angel through love and self-sacrifice. It made them sad to think they would never see how happy it would make them, but that was okay._

_Asriel was standing by the bed. He picked up Chara’s hand in his paw and tenderly caressed it. Even if they could not see his face clearly they could tell by the strain in his voice he had been crying. Silly Asriel, this was what they were put in this world for. There was no need to cry for someone who died fulfilling their purpose. “I don’t like this plan anymore. I… I…”_

_Chara could not help but smile. “To be honest, this hurts more than I thought it would. It would not be strange to have doubts now.”_

“ _No,” Asriel shook his head. “I said I’d never doubt you.” Asriel squeezed Chara’s hand. “Six, right? We just have to get six.”_

_Chara nodded weakly. “That’s right. Mine, and six more. That will be the seven you need.”_

“ _Then we can free everyone.” Despite his brave words his lower jaw was set tight and his hands squeezed Chara’s until they hurt._

_Chara relented. “It’s okay to cry this time. Cry as much as you want. But you’re going to absorb my soul, remember? You have to be the one to do it. That way you’ll keep a part of me with you forever. We’ll never be apart again.” The weight on their chest doubled. Every breath was a struggle. “I’m sorry… I wasn’t a better… friend to you. I wish… I could have told you… how much you all… meant to me.”_

_Asriel shook his head. “What are you saying? You’re giving up your life to help monsters! That says all you need to.”_

_Their eyelids felt heavy. “That’s nice of you to say. I think… this is it. I won’t be waking up again.” With the last of their strength they smiled. “I’ll be with you… the whole time. You’re going to do great. I know it.” Their eyelids fluttered closed. “Be good, won’t you?… My friend.”_

_That was it. The weight on their chest redoubled, and their lungs were no longer strong enough to push against it. Darkness beckoned behind their eyeballs, dragging their consciousness away. Chara closed their eyes and let themselves be pulled into oblivion._

_Light and heat and color shot back into the world. The weight was gone, the darkness was gone. Chara started, looking all around. A room, they were in a room. It seemed familiar somehow. “What? What?”_

‘ _Chara, calm down!’_

_Ree’s voice! But where was he? They looked around again but could not find him. There were two beds in the room. The far one was empty. The nearer one… someone was on it. A child. Auburn hair, pale face, wearing a green sweater with a yellow stripe. A thin line of blood dripped from the corner of the child’s mouth, and their mouth was lined with tiny sores. The child was not moving. They were dead. That was their body, Chara realized. But if they were looking at their own corpse, then-_

_They looked down at themself. Their arms were completely white and fuzzy. And their hands, oh god their hands! They were covered in a soft white fur, each long digit ending in a claw. “My hands, what’s wrong with my hands?!”_

‘ _Chara, you’re here! You’re with me, it’s okay!’ Asriel again, but where was he? His voice sounded like it was coming from… inside…_

“ _Asriel, what did you do?!”_

_Asriel’s voice resounded in their head with trepidation bordering on sobbing, ‘I-I-I did just what you told me to. I absorbed your soul after you died, and then you were with me in my head!’_

_Chara cried hysterically, “I thought you would just get my power! Why didn’t you tell me I’d still be me after being absorbed?!”_

‘ _I didn’t know!’ Asriel howled. ‘Nobody knew! We always knew monsters could absorb human souls, but it had only ever happened once or twice and they never said anything about this!’_

_Chara grabbed at their body’s head, taking deep breaths. Calm down, think! Deep breaths, in for eight, out for six, in for eight, out for six. They eased up on their control and Asriel filled in the spaces they left behind. So they were sharing a body. They could still work with this. There was no need to use the mouth itself, not when there was no longer any distance between their souls. ‘It’s okay. It’s okay, I’m not angry. I’m sorry for losing my temper, I was… very surprised is all.’ They could feel their tension releasing. So that was four times now they had failed to die. They tried not to let their disappointment show._

_They could feel Asriel calming down. ‘I’m so glad. It wasn’t until you were gone that I realized we never figured out how we were going to get the humans to give us souls. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to think of a way by myself, so it’s a good thing you’re still here. I… I would have missed having you so much.’_

‘ _This isn’t so bad,’ Chara admitted. ‘If I’m sharing your body it means we’ll never be apart again. I can’t think of a better afterlife, really.’ They looked down at their corpse, thinking. ‘Hey, Ree. Help me with this. You’re better at controlling your body than I am.’_

‘ _Chara, why do we need your old body?’_

‘ _Part of your cover story. I think I babbled something about wanting to see the flowers while I was dying.’ They got the impression Asriel was nodding. ‘I hadn’t meant to say anything but it just sorta came out. This way, you could say you wanted to bring me back to see the flowers one last time. Heck, we could even bury it there. It will be an excuse to give to the monsters to explain why you crossed the barrier, and this story will show humans you have compassion.’_

‘ _R-Right.’ Asriel did not sound entirely convinced, but the important thing was to get through the barrier before they were discovered. Their body picked up the corpse, cradling it in their arms as it walked from the room. The next time they saw this room, monsters would be free._

* * *

After a minute Frisk rewound the tape to the beginning, saying nothing, betraying nothing. They removed the tape and returned it to an empty place on the shelf. “You didn’t get sick.” Not a question. They were not looking at Chara, and their tone simmered below the surface.

Chara did not want to answer. The word came out unbidden. “No.”

“You killed yourself.”

Chara’s eyes burned. “Yeah.”

Frisk shook their head, making a sound that was almost but not quite a laugh. They took large breaths through their nose, trying and failing to calm themself down. “You warned me not to feel sorry for you.”

Chara hugged themself. “I know you’ve been thinking I’m a victim of circumstance, and I get you’re angry that’s not the case. Look, Frisk? I get it. It was stupid and I shouldn’t have done it. I wish I hadn’t. And I’m not trying to make excuses, only-”

Frisk interrupted them with a hard, “Do you even know why I’m mad?”

Chara’s teeth chattered. “B-Because this was supposed to be your Wonderland. A safe place, friendly people, a loving family. And I took that away from you. I stole it. And then I ruined it. You were supposed to-”

“No!” Frisk shouted. “I’m not even mad at you, I’m mad at them! At ‘Those People’! They told you your love was bad! You have so much love, and they turned it into something gross! It’s their fault you think you can’t be loved, it’s their fault you think bad things happen around you!” They wiped tears from their eyes and shook their head. “Oh Chara, what did they do to you?”

They could not believe they were actually considering this. They had never told anyone in the Underground why they hated humans, not even Asriel. An internal voice said, _That’s because Ree was an innocent little cinnamon roll who could never truly understand the horrors humanity was capable of. You kept silent not because you did not trust him but because you did not want to break him._ Maybe things would have turned out different if they had. But probably not. It was much too late to be thinking of those kinds of things anyway. “You really want to know? Then sit down,” Chara said, floating down so they were sitting cross-legged on the floor. “But just so you know, what I said before still holds true. It doesn’t excuse what I did, and you shouldn’t feel sorry for me.” Frisk obeyed, sitting with their back against the wall and their feet splayed out. Chara took a last shaky breath, and began.

* * *

My earliest memories are not unpleasant. I lived with my father and older sister for a time. I don’t remember my mother, she died not long after I was born. I was told she was too weak to have a second child so soon. But things were good then. Father was not around very much, always working to give his children a warm house and hot food, but even so my days were filled with happiness. Suddenly he was not around at all anymore. “Stress-related heart attack”, they said. Even as young as I was I knew he would never be around again. What can I say, I was always a bit precocious. There was a lot of talk about foster homes and aunts and uncles, but the ones who took us in were my father’s parents. Well, I call them Those People now. They do not deserve any other name. Things changed, slowly and in subtle ways at first, and then all at once. One would think memories of the happy times would have been a balm for me, that it would have given me a small measure of hope even as my world collapsed around me. In fact it might have made things worse. If I had only ever grown up under Those People I may have seen their treatment of me as normal. The pain would have been the same but if I had never known anything else I would have been able to adapt. Ants never think of soaring through the air like a bird. But those years I spent with my father had given me an idea of how things ought to be. I was taught of kindness, of support, of happiness, and of love. So when the rules changed under Those People I had the memory of what should have been, a memory of what could never be again. It kept my will from breaking. Even now I’m not sure whether that was for the best. If I stayed there I never would have come here and perhaps the monsters would be happier. …I’m sorry, you’re right. I am not trying to start that argument again.

It was not until it was much too late to matter that I understood how precarious my position was from the moment I stepped into that house. Those People sneered at my red eyes, making hurried protective gestures when I stared at them too long. Neither I nor my sister had the words to explain it was a rare genetic expression which had nothing to do with my soul or morality, and even if I did Those People would not have believed it. Some things you just Know, they’re simply Common Sense, and Common Sense said red eyes were Evil no matter what some fool in a labcoat says. But it was not just that. They loved their son and his wife, and blamed me for their deaths. I was unruly and spoiled. I said what was on my mind. I did not like dresses and ribbons, and I had no patience for smiling prettily at relatives. I devoured every book in the house and then some, even though Those People said education would be wasted on me. A woman’s place is in the home, they said. I did not agree with that. I never felt like a girl or a boy; it seemed silly and strange to me that my opportunities, my likes and dislikes, my personality, and so much about my identity should be wrapped up in a single binary option. Boy or girl? Both were too restrictive. So I said, ‘Neither.’ But Common Sense said the good lord made me a girl so I should think and act like one. Humans only come in two genders, and if you aren’t either then you must be something else. It was not the biggest straw, but it was the last one.

They were holy so they were allowed to dictate what was profane, and they knew they were holy because they never committed a profane act. Everything Those People were was exalted, everyone not like them was Damned. The very worst sins were circumstances; being born different in the body or different in the mind than what Those People were. To want something different than what they did or succumb to temptations they would never need to resist, were the greatest sins. That was the final proof of how righteous they were; they were never tempted at all, so how could they be evil? But a disobedient, willful child who would not respect the authority of their guardians, who had strange ideas and would not listen to reason, who had sinful urges and a distorted view of themself to the point where they would not even call themself a girl? Of course that was evil.

I still vividly remember the day Those People called my sister into the main room. They did not call me but I came anyway. They sat her down and told her I was dead, and had been dead for a long time. They warned her I had been replaced by a demon, and if they acknowledged me as their real sibling I would gain power over her. They said I would steal her soul if she called me, or talked to me, or acknowledged I existed in any way. More importantly, she would be punished if she did any of these things. Those People had a row of… they called them some euphemism like ‘disciplinary instruments’, arranged in order of the seriousness of the offense provoking the correction. For minor infractions there was a thin white stick, a switch made of birch. All the way on the right was a paddle with a blade longer than I was tall; even an adult would need two hands to wield it. They left the question of which one would be used on her an open question. I… would come to learn which implement was used depended almost entirely on how they felt at the time. They sent her away, and called me in. They… they pretended they had not seen or heard me, even though I was screaming out in tears as they tried to turn my sister against me. And they… that first night… they told me what was going to happen. That I was never to call for them, or try to get their attention. I would not be cared for or provided, and I was on my own in this house. There was no more talk of sending me to school. They told the district I would be home-schooled but they never taught me anything. I would be punished if I stepped out of line or displeased them in any way. They were hoping to curb my rebellious spirit, and if I resolved to be a good little girl and do what they said it would all be over and I could go back to being a kid again. A false promise: there were hundreds if not thousands of ways to displease them, and if I somehow managed to evade them they would provoke a confrontation in bad faith. I didn’t understand what was happening, I didn’t know what I did wrong or what I was being punished for. The unfairness of these new rules and the brutality of the punishments caused me to fall into… I believe the term is ‘learned helplessness’. Those People mistook this for obedience, and dangled forgiveness and reintegration into the family in front of me like a carrot on a stick for two years.

They ignored me most of the time, and it was better when they did. I was not allowed to sit at the table with everyone else at mealtimes; if I had food I had to hide and eat it away from everyone else. And if they forgot to leave out food I could prepare and eat myself, or if they ‘forgot’, all I could do was nurse my empty stomach. I could not speak with them. They would pretend they had not heard if I asked politely, and if I asked impolitely… they had this… cleansing ritual. They said it could p-pacify demons by… I don’t know how it was supposed to work. I just know they would- yes, that’s why I can’t put my head underwater anymore and why I can’t hear a bathtub running without losing control. Thank you. I… don’t know if I can speak of it right now. I’m glad you understand.

Everyone in town knew something was wrong. They all knew the children were not alright. But they drew their blinds and turned the volume on their televisions up. ‘Not our business, not our problem.’ They probably said something like that. Even Child Protective Services called ahead to let Those People know they were coming, plenty of time to cover their tracks. Those People were not so lacking in class they left welts or bruises where they could be seen. Their kind of violence leaves its marks much deeper.

I don’t think I would have lasted more than a week, but I found some coping strategies. One, of course, was to be out of the way. If I went to bed very late and slept until the afternoon I would minimize how much contact I had with them. And of course if we were careful my sister and I could talk in her room late at night after Those People went to bed. She did not believe them at all, but fear of punishment kept her from speaking with me during the daylight hours. But at night she would tell me about school, and her friends, and her sports clubs, and so many other things. I live vicariously through her, taking the little scraps of a normal life she offered and treasuring each one. But it was not enough; I could not spend my entire life in that house. I learned where every creaky floorboard and every hollow spot was in the house; after a few months I could go anywhere in the house without a sound. Once they were used to me being able to move silently and would not think it odd to go without hearing me at night, that was when I began leaving the house. I would skulk around the neighborhood, learning where all the barking dogs were and where the busy streets I would need to avoid were. On one of my excursions I found the field. An entire grassy field of golden flowers, carefully kept and cultivated. They are not a type of flower that closes at night, and even by moonlight they were gorgeous. And I had them all to myself! I would lay there for hours sometimes, the cool air on my skin and surrounded by the scent of golden flowers. I dearly wished I could fall asleep there, but I would surely be found and brought home. And if I caused trouble for Those People… well. I don’t believe I need to elaborate.

I would also go out to the library. Those People were not teaching me anything, so I was left to my own devices when it came to my education. I would use the library computers to look up subjects that interested me or use the computers to browse the internet to keep up with new advances in science and technology. I was caught once by a librarian that had stayed late; I begged her not to tell on me, and she took pity. She said she would leave a window open for me and that I could come in as late as I wanted so long as I didn’t take anything home. I readily agreed, and from then on the library was my greatest refuge. It kept me out even later, and sometimes I would not wake until early evening the next day, but everyone was fine with that arrangement. Those People did not know where I was going, and I pretended I was not going anywhere.

But it could not last. One day, I don’t know why, but someone had erected a chain link fence around the field of flowers and lined the tops of it with razor wire. I would be badly cut if I tried to scale through it. Did someone spot me? Did I damage the flowers somehow without noticing? The reason why did not matter. All I knew is that I would never again bask in that field.

Not long after I crawled in through the window at the library and ended up facing the boot of an angry policeman. It seems a few books had gone missing recently and a policeman had stayed late to see if anyone came in. The librarian stared at me with wet eyes, hoping to apologize with just a look as she denied knowing who I was or that she had ever allowed me to be there. The officer dragged me away and back to the house. Those People were all tired smiles and reassurances. Oh yes officer, she is such a troublemaker but she doesn’t mean any real harm, we’ll keep a better eye on her from now on and put her back to bed, we apologize for bothering you. I knew the truth. I could hear the water in the bathtub running. The police did not hear it, or they did not understand its significance. I tried to make them stay, but the policeman was sure my legal guardians could discipline me fine without their help.

They waited until the officer drove away to reveal their true forms. Those People… they called my name. I stood rooted to the spot, unable to run or hide. Trying to do either would only make it worse. ‘You have been leaving the house at night. You know this is forbidden. The body must be punished, so the spirit will learn.’ Those People did not scream, not this late at night, but they did chant. I-I did not hear any of the words. That time was… especially bad. I was still conscious when I swallowed water but not much longer after that. I came to lying on the bathroom floor, stomach cramped, my wrists burning where they tied them together, lungs on fire, and I couldn’t stop coughing. Those People were gone, left sometime when my whole world was darkness. I threw up and mostly water came out. My skin felt hot. I barely breathed at all for a week. My sister came to check up on me and bring me soup or broth when she could get away with it, which was not often. Those People never bothered. I thought to myself, _The next time I make a mistake like that they’ll kill me._

The next time I was able to get out there every door and window in the library was locked up tight. It would never open for me again. The last refuge was gone. A couple weeks later… that’s when I got the scar on my wrist. I was tired of fighting, I didn’t see any way things would ever get better. So I took a steak knife from the drawer and… well. It didn’t work. I got scared. I cried and woke them up. They patched me up and the moment I stopped bleeding… I’m sorry. I-I-I can’t… Yes, yes, it was the one on the right, all the way to the right! I didn’t understand, I still don’t understand! They didn’t want me there but punished me when I tried to put myself out of their misery?! It makes no sense! What should I have done, what else could I have done?!

Okay, okay. Give me a moment. … No, no we’re not stopping! You asked for this! You don’t get to tell me to stop because you’re uncomfortable! I-!

…

I’m sorry. Yeah, I’m alright now. No, really. You wanted to hear it, you deserve to hear all of it. I’m almost done.

The end came unexpectedly. One day I was hiding in the study, trying to stay out of everyone’s way. My sister came home from school and swung their schoolbag too hard, breaking a vase. It was a cheap and tacky thing, picked up from a thrift store a decade or more ago, but it still belonged to them. It was not a thing for children to break. Those People surveyed the damage and shook their heads. She admitted she broke it, she was careless, she didn’t mean to, she would be good. But Those People just smiled and bent down close to them. ‘We do not want to punish a good child,’ Those People sang into her ears. ‘We know you would never do such a thing. If you did, it would be because there was a demon inside you, just like the one who killed your sister. We would have to get it out of you. We would have to punish the demon. But it’s okay. You did not do it, did you? It was the demon. The demon whose name you must not say. The demon who stole your sister from you. Say it. It was the demon. Admit it. You have to tell us they did it so they can be cleansed.’ And you know what? She did. She told them I broke it. I did not see any shame, or guilt, or regret in her eyes. I saw relief. Thank god this is happening to you and not to me. The water was running. I didn’t have the energy to fight any more. They took it as a good sign; the demon was getting ready to leave, and they would have the obedient little granddaughter they always should have had.

That very night I stole some clothing from my former sister’s dresser. A striped shirt and slacks. Thick socks to protect my feet because I had no shoes to call my own. A small reusable grocery bag with some snacks and drinks. I left the house for the last time. My destination was clear. Even someone as sheltered as I knew the legend. ‘Those who climb Mt. Ebott never return.’ Good. There was no place left in the world for me to go. There was no other place in this world I belonged. Perhaps I could belong there.

* * *

“And the rest of the story, you know already.”

Frisk was biting their lower lip hard enough to draw blood. “I… guess that isn’t… the _worst_ thing I’ve ever heard,” they seethed. “But it’s close. I wanna kill ‘em. You were younger than me and they… how could they do that? Families are s’posed to protect each other, not…”

“Humans,” Chara said simply, as though this explained everything.

“That’s not human,” Frisk said. “Nobody who could do that is human. They’re the real demons.”

Chara shook their head. “It doesn’t matter, anymore. After thirty years they’re probably dead by now. Frisk, I can feel your heart go out to me. I know I said this before but I need you to listen. Whatever they did to me doesn’t excuse what I did to Asriel. Those People didn’t put the buttercups in my hand, they didn’t tell me it was okay to ignore his feelings out of some misplaced idea I knew what was best for him, they certainly didn’t reach inside my brain from two years in the past and force me to try and kill people. I did that! I did all of it!”

Frisk shook their head. “I know that, but I can’t feel it. It’s wrong for you to take all the blame. I can’t say why, but I know it.” They stood up, wiping their eyes. “Thank you for being so brave, Chara. For living through that, and for sharing it with me.”

“My bravery is only average,” they said with forced levity. “But thank you for saying it.” On some level they had hoped sharing that with someone would have lessened the pain. Instead it just made them feel empty inside, like the pain had vacated but left their heart condemned so nothing else could move in.

The main lights turned on as they were leaving. While that would make it easier to explore, it did mean they were at much greater risk of getting caught. The thought had no sooner occurred to Chara when they noticed several of the strangely-shaped monsters crowding around them. They had been waiting outside the door for them while Chara had been spilling their guts out! Frisk looked from one to the other while slowly reaching back, trying to gauge whether they could make it through the door before the creatures jumped them. At that moment an open bag of potato chips flew through the air over their heads. The object caught the monsters’ attention and they bounded after it, crashing into each other and separating with sucking “schlorp” noises in their haste to be first.

Alphys ran up from the direction the chips came from, panting. “Sorry about them,” Alphys wheezed. “They’re not usually so aggressive… I guess they can smell the bag of potato chips you have on you. They get kind of sassy when they’re hungry.” In one smooth motion Frisk pulled out their bag of chips, opened them, and hurled them into the mass of creatures to join its cousin. Good call, a bag of chips was not worth getting harrassed by the whatever-those-things-were.

“I… guess I owe you an explanation,” Alphys clicked her index claws together. “When I first discovered DT I went… a little crazy with it. I asked for people to send me the bodies of monsters who had Fallen Down, thinking if I gave them some DT we could harvest their soul energy once they died. Instead the monsters got back up like nothing was wrong! At first I thought, a pity it didn’t work but if I found a way to cheat death that was pretty great too. So I told everyone I’d send them back home the next day and everything would be fine. Only… with so much DT in their systems the monsters couldn’t hold their shapes. They stuck to each other to fuse into amalgamated beings and… well, I’ve been keeping them down here ever since.” She sighed. “I was so scared of telling everyone what I’d done. And knowing I had already messed up so badly once made me too scared to try anything else. Everyone kept asking me what I was up to and where the dust was for the funerals and… it all became a big mess. But after today, I decided! I’m going to tell everyone what I’ve done, all of it. I’ll work hard to believe in myself. It’s going to be… really hard, I can tell. But I’ve got my friends behind me! And knowing that, it’ll be a lot easier to keep fighting. And it’s all thanks to you!”

Chara whispered a question into Frisk’s ear and they repeated it: “Um… what were you going to do with all those monster souls? You couldn’t combine it with the human souls you already had, monsters can’t apsorb monster souls.”

“True!” Alphys said with a nod. “But what about something that’s not a human nor a monster? I thought to use a flower from Asgore’s garden; something with no soul but a will to live would, in theory be able to absorb any type of soul!” Chara choked on hearing that by stayed quiet for the moment. “Only… it didn’t work. No matter how much DT I injected into the flower nothing happened. Then this all happened and it became pointless to continue. I returned the souls to Asgore and the flower to his garden. Except now it seems someone’s stolen the flower… it’s missing from the garden now. Was that all you wanted to know?” Frisk nodded, though their face had grown pale. “Alright. Come on, guys! It’s time for everyone to go home!” She walked through the Amalgamates without fear and they followed her lead.

“She really is like me,” Chara marveled as they watched her go. “It all makes sense… she meant well, but screwed up and the guilt ate her alive. I kind of wish I could talk to her now. Though… you did hear what she just said, right? About the flower?”

Frisk nodded. “Flowey. She made Flowey.”

“I don’t think even she realizes what she did, though. And what about the story Flowey told you, about how he used to be a monster?”

Frisk shrugged as they entered the elevator. “Maybe he was lying about that.”

As soon as they said that their phone began to ring. They put the phone to their ear but before they had the chance to say hello the voice on the other end was speaking: “Chara? Are you there?”

Chara swallowed. This was impossible. That voice, in this place, speaking their name, was absolutely impossible. In a slow murmur they told Frisk, “It’s a voice you have never heard before.”

Frisk said into the phone, “Who is this?”

The voice ignored them. “It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? But you’ve done well. Everything has fallen into place. See you soon… Chara.” The call ended. At the same time the elevator roared to life, surging upward so fast it knocked Frisk to the floor. Chara was again pushed outside the elevator, and this time they could see what was below. The elevator was being pushed upward by massive green, thorny vines. Was this Flowey’s doing? What were they trying to do now?

When the elevator reached the top and the doors opened, Frisk half-rolled and half-dribbled out of the elevator. The moment they left the doors slammed shut and vines grew over it. No getting out that way. Oddly, they were not back in Alphys’ lab. Instead they were at the balcony below New Home, just before the Final Corridor. Chara waited for Frisk to recover from their trip before speaking. “It looks like whatever Flowey wanted to do for your ‘better ending’ is done. He sealed up the way behind us; we have no choice but to go to Asgore.”

“I can’t fight him again,” Frisk said resolutely. “I don’t want to, and I won’t. But I don’t know what to do yet.”

“I’ll be there for you, Frisk,” Chara promised. “No matter how many times it takes or what we have to do. We came this far together, I won’t abandon you at the end. You hear me?” Frisk nodded. “Good. Hopefully there’s still a Save Point right before the barrier. That way if something goes wrong we won’t have to go back to that creepy lab.”

Right in front of Asgore’s garden was a small bowl on a pillar, with a sign marking it as “Lost & Found”. Inside the bowl was a set of gloves and a knife in a leather sheath. Right, Frisk had thrown those at Chara and had not bothered to pick them up afterward. Frisk took the gloves but hesitated at the knife. “Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it,” Chara remarked. Frisk reluctantly agreed and shoved it into their pocket with a little more force than was necessary. Just before entering the barrier room Frisk stopped and downed their Sea Tea. If it came down to a fight anyway Frisk was more than prepared for it.

Asgore was still there in front of the barrier. “Have you been waiting this whole time?” Frisk asked.

He craned his neck to look at them over his shoulder. “No,” he said, weariness and sorrow dripping from his mouth. “I was told you would be returning soon, so I came back to wait for you. Is it true, then? Have you done all you wanted to do?”

Frisk took a deep breath and drew their knife. “I’m ready. But I won’t kill, and I won’t be killed.”

Asgore pushed his cloak aside and formed his trident into his outstretched hand. Chara sucked in their breath at the sight of it. How could something so beautiful be so deadly? “Then… it was nice to meet you, human. Goodbye.”

Before he could settle into his stance, however, a white heart appeared in the middle of his chest. He looked down in utter shock, so he did not see the fireball soar over Frisk’s head and slam into his face, knocking him over. Frisk and Chara both whirled around to see where that came from… and Toriel was there, leaning against the doorway out of breath with traces of flame dancing around her fingertips. “I made it in time,” she gasped with a smile.

“Toriel?!” Frisk threw the knife aside and ran to her, a bright smile on their face. She knelt down so they could throw their arms around her neck and they gave her a big hug cheek-to-cheek. “Toriel! You see? I knew we’d see each other again! I knew it!”

Toriel patted them on the back. “Yes, my child. I did not believe you then, but I realized something after you left. At the end of your journey, you would be faced with a horrible choice. Either allow Asgore to kill you and take your soul, or kill Asgore to return to the surface. And… I cannot allow either of those choices. I would never wish harm on you child, and despite the terrible things he has done even Asgore deserves mercy. And so I came here to stop you.” Frisk buried their face into the nape of her neck, laughing in relief.

“Tori,” Asgore said, his mailed steps clinking on the stonework. His face could not have shown more awe and happiness than if he had seen the surface again. “Tori! You came back! After all this time, you-”

“Do not ‘Tori’ me, Dreemurr!” Toriel gently put Frisk on the ground, not taking her eyes off the King of the Monsters. She rose to her full height and pointed at him. “If you were serious about freeing our kind you could have gone through the barrier after getting one soul and gotten the rest from the surface! I would still have disagreed with your actions but at least I would know you stood behind your convictions, giving up your personal morality for the sake of your people! Or you could have admitted you made a mistake declaring war and resigned us all to our fate. But instead you huddled in the castle, hoping a human would die on the way here and you would not have to get your hands dirty! You made everyone wait thirty years in darkness because you wanted seven human souls but did not want their deaths to be your fault!”

Asgore suffered the torrent of abuse without complaint, his shoulders sagging lower with each denunciation. In the end he could only sadly nod. “I know,” he said. “I could not bear to willingly choose to be either an unkind person or a poor ruler, and instead ended up being both. I am a miserable, pathetic creature. I know nothing can repair what has happened, but… do you suppose we could at least be friends again?”

Toriel gave him a withering look and an exasperated sigh. “NO, Asgore. Even if you did not kill them your declaration of war led to their deaths. Why do you think I would be willing to overlook the death of six humans, especially when I loved and cared for each of them before you took them away?”

The stone wall exploded in a cloud of dust and a shout of “NGAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” steadily increasing in volume. A blue shape erupted from the cloud and interposed itself between Asgore and Toriel. “I’m gonna bust some heads if everyone doesn’t stop fighting right now! By which I mean, please continue fighting! I need the-” Undyne stopped herself and looked around as though only just now realizing no one was moving. “Uhhhhh… kid, what’s going on?”

Toriel let her anger melt off her face. “Greetings. I am Toriel. Are you friends with the human?”

Undyne blinked, her energy dissipating without an outlet. “Uh, yeah. Nice to meet you! I’m Undyne, Captain of the Royal Guard, and the human is my almost-bestie!” They turned to bow to Asgore. “If, you know, that’s not a problem, sir.” Asgore could only nod his head and try to wipe the tears from his eyes.

“Undyne!” Alphys shouted from the other room, trying to squeeze through an Undyne-shaped hole in the wall. “You got ahead of me! I thought you agreed we were going to do this toge-” She slipped through the hole with an audible pop, tumbling to land next to the fish monster. She straightened up and dusted off her labcoat, her glasses somehow managing to stay on her head throughout.

“Oh!” Toriel said, clapping her hands. “Are you another friend?”

Alphys got a blush on her cheeks and looked from Toriel to Asgore and back again. “Um-um-um-um, yes! You must be the missing Queen Toriel. It’s good to finally meet you, your majesty! And, I’m Alphys, the Royal Scientist! Actually, sir, ma’am, can we talk about that after we get all this squared away? There’s some things about my work you should-”

“Nobody fight anyone!” Papyrus skidded into the room, nearly bowling over Alphys in the process. “Otherwise I will be forced to use drastic measures! I will lock all parties into the rec center until everyone resolves their differences with a game of basketball!”

Toriel could not suppress a giggle. “Oh, that sounds lovely in any case. Are you sure you cannot use drastic measures even if the times are not so drastic?”

Papyrus continued grinning as he leaned down to Frisk’s level. “Pssst, human, auxiliary human. How exactly did it come to pass that Asgore cloned himself, shaved, and took voice lessons?”

Chara sighed. “That’s not a clone, that’s Asgore’s Queen, Toriel. Or… maybe ex-Queen.” They stewed uncomfortably. Thankfully with the way things were going they would not have to feel awkward for very long before-

“sup,” Sans waved, stepping out from behind a pillar as though he had always been there. “heard there was a party and i was invited, but i decided to decline the invitation and crash it instead.”

This time Toriel gasped. “That voice!” She hurried over to Sans, looking down at him. “I believe we… may know each other?”

“oh hey, small world,” Sans replied, his grin getting wider. “i’m sans, sans the skeleton. i, uh, think i knew your kids once.” He held out his hand for a shake.

Frisk hurriedly stepped between them and grabbed Sans’ hand to turn the palm up. True to their suspicions, he had a whoopie cushion hidden in his hand. “Please don’t prank Toriel,” they said seriously.

“really kid?” sans sighed. “you’re gonna pick now to heckle me?”

“Please don’t be angry with them,” Toriel said, ruffling Frisk’s hair. “They are a good child trying to look out for an old woman.” Frisk beamed happily.

Undyne leaned over to whisper to Asgore, “Sir, is that your ex?” She looked back at Toriel, who looked away from Sans for just a moment to wave politely. Asgore sunk even deeper. Any further and his knees would hit the floor. “Geez, man, that’s rough. But don’t let it get you down. There’s plenty of fish in the sea!”

Alphys joined in, “That’s right, your majesty! Perhaps you just need to find a nice fish lady to… uh…” She blushed when she noticed everyone staring at her. “I-It’s just a metaphor!”

“Oh my god!” Mettaton slid in, donning their EX form. “Why don’t you two just smooch already! You can’t flirt like this in front of everyone without giving them the big payoff!”

Undyne shook their fist at the robot. “Hey, knock it off! We don’t have to do nothing in front of no one if-”

“No Undyne,” Alphys said. “He’s right. Let’s do it!”

Undyne blushed. “S-Such passion…! Alright, if you want to, then… don’t hold back!”

“Wait!” Toriel leapt between them and pushed them apart. “Not in front of the human!”

Frisk fumed, “Yes in front of the human! I worked hard for this!” Everyone shared a laugh, but Undyne and Alphys did not move to retry their kiss.

Toriel chuckled. “Well, it certainly seems you’ve had quite an adventure! You’ve traveled a long way and made a lot of great friends. I am sorry to say you might need to stay here for a while.” She looked at the gathered crowd. “But… I think you will be very happy here.”

Chara leaned down to say, “And I meant what I said. As long as you’re down here and as long as you want me to, I’ll stay with you. We have all the time we need to work on a solution to the barrier. We’ll find it, I’m sure of it.” Frisk nodded, clapping excitedly. It all worked out. Somehow, despite everything, everything was going to be better.

Alphys, however, was tapping her chin in thought. “Something sure is strange, though. Papyrus, you called me here.” The skeleton “Nyeh?”d in response to their name. “But I got here before you. How did you know the human was in trouble?”

Papyrus shrugged, trying to play this off as a mystery. “Well, a skeleton never reveals all his secrets,” he bragged. “So let’s just say, I got a little help from a tiny flower.”

Frisk and Chara’s happiness transmogrified into lead balls of dread in their stomach. “A tiny… flower?” Frisk repeated.

That was all the time they had before massive vines erupted from the ground, entangling all the monsters and lifting them high into the air. Their shouts and screams echoed as they were lifted fifteen or twenty feet into the air, arms pinned tightly to their sides. “NOOOO!” Frisk screamed, reaching out for them.

“That goddamn flower!” Chara yelled. “After all we went through he’s gonna pull this crap?!”

Aforementioned flower poked up from the floor with a silly grin on his face. “Wow, that worked out even better than I’d hoped. Hee hee hee, what have I told you about listening to the things coming out of my mouth? How many times are you going to let me fool you?”

“Flowey!” Frisk raged. “What are you doing?!”

“Uh, stealing all the human souls again?” He looked at Frisk like they were the dumbest person alive. “Did you think I was going to give up becoming a god just because Plan A failed? No way! Welcome to Plan B! Here’s how it works: you’re gonna let me take your soul. And if you don’t I’m gonna kill all your friends right in front of you! Simple, right?”

“Why,” Frisk asked. “Why are you still doing this?”

“Because this game between us is the most fun I’ve had in years! If you experience peace and happiness, you’ll stop playing, and where will that leave me? I won’t let the game end!” He caught Frisk’s head turning to look at their discarded knife. Flowey casually knocked it away with a vine. “None of that,” he taunted. “It’s still too early to do the gardening. How about instead… you dance with me for a while?” As he said this friendliness pellets formed in the air all around Frisk, firing in short bursts.

The pellets arced, curved, and dove in from every direction, each hit feeling like a fist. Chara bit their knuckle; just like when Asriel absorbed them, his bullets could strike with physical force now. Any one of those could have torn Frisk limb from limb. But Flowey was playing with Frisk. He did not want to simply defeat Frisk; he wanted to torture them. He wanted to take his time, wearing them down and humiliating them to let the hopelessness of their situation sink in. That dirty…!

Frisk took short and shallow gasps, their entire body convulsing. They did not seem to even see the bullets as they closed in on them, tearing into their body from all directions. They moved clumsily, stepping to the side to avoid one bullet only for a second bullet to swoop in from a dead angle and hit their shoulder, or leg, or hip, and send them stumbling into another bullet, and another, and another! Frisk tried to shield themself but it was no use; any time they tried to move or not move they would be hit anywhere but where they were expecting, floundering in a mad dance across the floor. Finally a bullet hit their foot just as they were putting weight on it and they collapsed to the floor. Frisk huddled up to protect their soul as bullets rained down on them from every direction.

“STOP!” Chara screamed, desperately trying to reach out to Flowey. “You won already! Don’t you see they can’t fight anymore?! You’re killing them!” But Flowey did not stop. Another volley of bullets sprang up and peppered Frisk’s unmoving form. Chara did not feel the pain anymore. Frisk’s brain must have decided that with this much stimulus either their pain receptors were misfiring or Frisk would be dead in moments, and in either case it did not have to pay attention to how much it hurt. A ring of bullets appeared and closed in on Frisk’s soul with agonizing slowness. It seemed Flowey was tired of watching Frisk simply endure the punishment and wanted to savor their lethal blow.

There was nothing else they could do. Chara covered Frisk’s body with their own. Their own soul appeared on their chest as they floated into Flowey’s magic field, but the lone fragment was so tiny Flowey probably did not even notice it. They could probably absorb only one bullet before dying; if it meant Frisk got to live for even another fraction of a second it was worth it. They would not let them die alone. “I’m sorry it turned out like this,” they told them. “But I’ll stay with you until the very end.” Frisk did not reply. There was nothing to say.

Pillars of flame erupted all around Frisk, knocking the friendliness pellets away. Frisk groaned and tilted their head to look, and Chara floated off them. Flowey raised an eyebrow. “What?”

Toriel called down to them from above, “Do not be afraid, my child. No matter what happens, we’ll always be there to protect you.”

“You can’t protect anything!” Flowey taunted, preparing another round of pellets. “No matter what you do, I’m stronger than any of you!”

A stream of pellets was blocked by a wall of spears and bones. “But there’s no way you’re stronger than all of us!” Undyne shouted. “We all stand together, but you’re all alone! Someone like you could never outmatch everyone’s hopes and dreams!”

“That’s right!” Papyrus agreed. “Even if we’re weak, we believe in each other, and believe in the each others that believe in us!”

“yep,” sans said. “that’s about the long and short of it. so come on and beat this guy already, kid. he’s got nothin’ on you.”

On the floor Frisk’s hand twitched, then curled into a fist. A new energy filled them, all the power their friends had to spare. Flowey hurriedly sent another wave to finish them off before they fully recovered, but pillars of fire and lightning slammed down to form a shield.

Alphys swallowed. “Technically, it’s not possible for a single human soul to stop six. But somehow, I know you can do it!”

“The villain’s job is to make themselves seem dangerous so the hero looks more impressive for winning,” Mettaton said. “But he’s destined to lose! Go on out there and show the world what you’re made of!”

“And no matter what!” Asgore said. “You have to stay determined!”

At just that moment everyone became aware of a huge commotion outside. Flowey angrily smashed the wall between this place and the rest of the capital, snarling when he saw what was there. The streets of the capital were flooded with people, roaring and shouting. Monsters of every shape and size, many of them never having seen the human before, had shown up in support of the human.

Chara hovered down just next to Frisk’s ear. “Feeling the support of all your friends… fills you with determination.” Frisk nodded with a confident smile. They turned toward Flowey, fist extended.

“No!” Flowey cried out. “Unbelievable! This… this is impossible!” His petals curled inward to cover his face. “I… I…!”

His petals unfurled to reveal a demonic grin. “I fooled you again!” Flowey laughed as vines snaked throughout the entire capital, enveloping all the monsters at once. “This is my _real_ Plan B! If you’re friends with all the monsters, they’ll come help you when you’re in trouble! The gate to the Ruins will be open! The denizens of the lab will be set free! Every monster will be in one spot! And by absorbing the soul of every monster in the Underground… gee, how much power is that equal to? Roughly?”

Chara felt sick to their stomach as they realized, too late, Flowey’s plan. “No…”

“It equals one! Human! _Soul_! Added with the other six… that makes seven! _AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_ I win, suckers!” His laughter echoed as the whole world turned white. All the souls, human and monster, were sucked into Flowey’s form.

The glow slowly faded and shaped itself into a small Boss Monster boy with white fur and floppy ears, their back to Frisk. The boy was wearing dark pants and a green-and-yellow striped shirt. He flexed his fingers and held their hands up to their face. “Finally,” he said in a voice completely unlike Flowey. “I was so tired of being a flower.”

And suddenly everything made sense. How Alphys could inject a flower with DT and end up with a flower that retained memories of another lifetime. Why Chara had pleaded with Frisk so strongly to spare Flowey. And how, beyond any shadow of a doubt, Chara was a demon who brought misfortune to those they loved.

The boy turned and smiled at Frisk. “Howdy!” said the monster.

“Greetings,” replied Chara in a hoarse whisper.

“Chara, are you there?”

“So this is where you’ve been.”

“It’s me! Your best friend.”

Chara only laughed. They had asked for him to be saved and it turned him into Flowey. It was funny because they could not even pray without screwing something up.

Frisk cautiously stepped forward. “Who… are you?”

There was a bright flash, and when their eyes recovered the monster had grown taller and wider. Now resembling a teenaged version of himself with dark facial markings and black snake-like eyes, he leered down at Frisk threateningly. “Didn’t you hear him?” Chara said, unable to turn away. “It’s my best friend. Asriel Dreemurr.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: DING DING DING! We have a winner! Clocking in at over 13,000 words, this is the longest chapter of the fic! Having already written most of the next chapter I can say with certainty this will be the longest chapter there is. I probably could have split this in half and done two chapters, but I didn’t expect this to go on this long when I started and I didn’t have a good place to stop in the middle anyway.  
> Frisk has spent time in the foster care system, spending time with lots of other kids who have been taken away from their parents or legal guardians. When they say Chara’s story is not the worst thing they’ve ever heard they mean exactly that: it is not literally the worst thing they have ever heard, but it’s still pretty darn bad.  
> Next time is the final battle. Only 2 chapters left. Stay determined…


	21. All Our Hopes and Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a friend is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter is going to be pretty short, and I would feel bad making everyone wait a week for it. So here’s the last big chapter here, now, a day early!

_The angel who has seen the surface will return, and the Underground will go empty._ They had even said themself that prophecies do not mean what they seem. The prophecy did not foretell the monster’s freedom by a savior but their eradication by the lost prince. Even after all this time they could understand Asriel perfectly. ‘Kill or be killed’… they had said something like that in the village, didn’t they? He blamed himself for the plan’s failure. He blamed his own weakness for killing him and Chara. So when he woke up, soulless and alone, he must have decided Chara was right. He did as they told him to; he hardened his heart, stopped thinking of other people, and destroyed the joyous, smiling child they had called their friend.

They ruined him. They ruined everything.

Black tears fell from their eyes as they collapsed to their knees. Frisk stepped forward, hands balled into fists as their soul appeared on their chest. “There’s no point, Frisk,” Chara said. “It’s the end. He has seven souls, he has the power to Save, he’s made the Underground go empty, he’s going to destroy the world and there’s nothing we can do! It’s over!”

But Frisk stood firm. Even as Asriel loosed a torrent of fireballs Frisk did not waver, ducking and weaving through the storm with, if anything, renewed vigor. But the streams were fast and thick and endless; after only a few moments they had been cornered. Frisk turned suddenly by reflex, catching a fireball on their elbow. The projectile exploded, knocking Frisk into the air and onto their back. They rubbed at the charred spot on their sleeve, in pain but no less confident. Chara, still leaking a black fluid from their eyes, stared. They… weren’t dead. How was Frisk not dead?

“You know…” Asriel said, flexing the fingers on his right hand. His voice was slightly deeper than it was a moment ago but still had the arrogant tone of Flowey. “I don’t even care about destroying this world anymore. All I want now is to reset everything.” Reset? Frisk gasped in horror; they seemed to have some idea of what he was talking about. “Yes, that’s right. Everything you’ve done up until now, all the friends you’ve made, all their memories of everything that’s happened… I’ll reset them all! Everything will be exactly as it was when you woke up in that patch of flowers. We can start from the beginning, and do everything all over again!” He took a step forward. “You’ll struggle and sweat, make your whole journey again, and eventually we’ll end up right back here. And then… you’ll lose to me again! And again, and again! We can keep playing forever, Chara!”

Asriel raised his arms up, calling forth a torrent of star-shaped bullets which descended from the darkness above and shattered as they struck the walls, pillars, and floors. “I know this.” Chara’s eyes darted back and forth, watching the stars fall. They wiped the tears from their eyes, despair being replaced by wonder. “I recognize this attack. It’s flashier and brighter, but this is the same attack he had back then. He was still working on it when we enacted the plan. This is Star Blazing.”

Frisk dashed from one end of the room to the other, hiding behind a pillar one moment and fleeing before another star exploded behind their cover. Asriel continued his monologue, “And you know what the funniest part of it all is?” He chuckled. “You’ll do it. You’ll play my game, you’ll dance to my tune, and you’ll keep trying again and again because you’ll never give up trying to get everyone a happy ending. Ha ha ha, it’s amazing when you think about it. Your determination and your love will trap all your friends in an endlessly repeating hell! What’s the matter? You’re not laughing. I thought that joke would be exactly your kind of humor.”

Frisk opened their eyes, shining with defiance. They had already realized what Chara was just discovering: Asriel was playing with them. He could have killed Frisk effortlessly, that fireball should have burnt them to cinders, but he was holding back. Flowey had called their rivalry a “game”, and games were not fun if they were not fair. That was when they realized Asriel did not merely turn into an older version of himself; he turned into an idealized version of himself. The Absolute God of Hyperdeath! Not only that but for some reason he thought Frisk was Chara. How would he have gotten that idea? It did not matter, it was something they could use. Asriel wanted to play an imagination game with his best friend. And as long as he was holding back that meant there was still a chance.

Chara floated up next to Frisk, watching Asriel intently. Even if they had never fought, Chara had watched Asriel practice his magic. He had taken the time to show them how every bullet pattern he knew worked and tried to impress them with the variety of patterns he knew. They were intimately familiar with every type of magic he knew; solely by the subtle changes of his magic field they could predict exactly what attack he was about to use and when. And, of course, the secret to avoiding them. “Asriel readies Shocker Breaker,” they warned. “The key point is that it can’t strike the same place twice in a row. So wherever he attacks, move into that space right after.” Frisk nodded once, then put the plan into action. Lightning bolts rained down from the sky, charring the ground where they hit. Frisk deftly followed the blasts, moving from the site of one strike to the next just after they hit. As the bolts ceased, Asriel raised his arms high into the air. Two massive swords coalesced into his waiting hands, and he charged directly for Frisk.

Chara advised, “Asriel calls on Chaos Saber. He should… yes, he has the same tell. Don’t watch his eyes or his hands, watch his feet. Dodge towards whichever foot he leads with.” Asriel handled the swords clumsily, but the reach of the swords and his supernatural speed made up for his lack of skill. Frisk obeyed Chara’s suggestion, and sure enough whenever Asriel stepped forward with his right foot he attacked with his left hand and vice versa. Asriel slashed several times in quick succession but was unable to land a single blow. The swords vanished from his hands, and to replace them…

“Asriel charges Chaos Buster. He alternates shots which go directly towards you with shots that veer off to either side. Dodge the first stream, stay still for the second, and repeat.” Using this simple two-step Frisk calmly avoided streams of bullets which kicked up dust all around them. But no matter how hard Asriel tried Frisk was always where the bullets were not and moving to where they would not be. Asriel, clearly annoyed, knelt down to one knee and set the Chaos Buster on his shoulder. “This is new,” Chara warned. “Get out of the way! I don’t know what’s going to-”

A concentrated beam of magical power shot out, missing Frisk by inches. The laser blasted through the wall with no resistance; when the energy subsided the hole stretched not only into the hallway but into the throne room and even beyond. If Frisk had been hit by that they would have been vaporized instantly. Though Asriel was still enjoying testing his new powers, there was a hint of puzzlement in his expression. As well there should; Chara had never been half as athletic as Frisk. Chara lacked the ability to dodge quickly even when they knew what attacks were coming. The person they thought was their friend was so quickly, so easily dodging their every blow. How? How had Chara gotten so good at evading magical attacks? The truth was, not even Frisk should have been able to escape unscathed. The attacks were far too intense and came so rapidly one after another their reflexes could not keep up… unless they knew the tricks to avoiding them already. It was a fusion of Frisk’s ability and Chara’s knowledge which saved them.

At least, it would until Asriel decided to change things up. “You’re still standing in my way?” Asriel said, raising an eyebrow. “Wow, I’m actually impressed. You really are something special. But up until now I’ve only used a fraction of my real power. Behold! The visage of your destruction!” Asriel transformed again. Grand wings, shimmering like an aurora, sprouted from his back. His robes twisted and molded into a set of spiked armor and gauntlets. He summoned his magic, this time-

Chara bit their lip. “Asriel readies ‘Hyper Goner’. I… I don’t know this one. He told me it was the God of Hyperdeath’s ultimate attack, but he never explained what it actually-”

Asriel vanished, replaced by a skeletal demonic skull. The skull opened its mouth to reveal a gaping void. A wave of magic washed over Frisk’s soul as Asriel used red attraction magic, drawing them into the skull’s mouth. “Oh come on!” Chara screamed in outrage. “That’s bullshit and you know it!” Frisk tried to grab a cracked section of the floor to keep from being sucked into the air, but their fingers slipped out of place too easily and then it was out of reach. They could do nothing but brace themselves as they were pulled into the gaping mouth. Once they were inside the jaws slammed shut.

Everything inside was dark, endlessly dark. All was cold and silent. Frisk floated face-up in an empty expanse, their arms and legs hanging limp underneath them. Chara could feel Frisk straining to struggle, to cry out, to do anything at all, but they could not move their body. Instead the darkness seeped into their skin. Frisk’s heart grew cold and silent, the oppressive atmosphere doing more to hurt them than Asriel’s bullets ever could. Frisk’s soul broke in two. Asriel would have complete control of the timeline. He would rule the underground like a god. Everyone’s memories were about to disappear. Even Chara… would not remember anything…

Without thinking about what they were doing Chara reached into Frisk’s chest and grabbed the two halves of Frisk’s soul. White-hot fire coursed up Chara’s arms; Frisk’s soul was rejecting them, preventing Chara from absorbing it. “But…” Absorption was the last thing Chara wanted to do. They pushed the two halves towards each other while the fragments fought like opposing magnets. They grit their teeth through the pain, “… it…” Feeling as though their hands were disintegrating, Chara managed to snap the two halves back together, fitting them exactly along the line of the break. “… refused!” As they said it so it was. The seam vanished as the halves reconnected into a single whole. Frisk gasped and coughed, color returning to their face. “I’ll apologize for touching your soul as much as you want later, but you are not allowed to die now!” Chara kept their hands clenched and their face raised, unwilling to see how much damage that maneuver had done to them. Their palms burned and their fingers tingled so it was probably really bad.

Frisk stretched and rolled their muscles, satisfied they could move again. They even sat up, as though they had been lying on something solid. They stood up on the invisible floor and smiled back. “Next time without the pun?”

Chara laughed and rolled their eyes. “That’s gratitude for you.”

“Still?!” Asriel’s voice resounded, seeming to come from everywhere and nowhere. “Come on, show me what good your ‘determination’ is now!”

Even though Frisk could move again the place they were in now had been made no less dangerous. The cold was still working tirelessly to get inside them. Chara was unsure whether they could fix their soul again if that happened. Frisk was doing _something_ , but Chara could not understand it. It was as though they were trying to swing a tail or flex some muscle Chara never had. They realized what it was. “You tried to reach your SAVE file. But nothing happened.” Frisk strained, the muscles in their neck tightening with the effort. “You tried again to reach your SAVE file. Nothing happened. Seems Saving really is impossible.”

Wait a moment. Saving? An idea came to them just then. If they were inside Asriel’s body, then… there was something they could do. “But… maybe… you can ‘save’ something else.” Frisk twisted their face in confusion, but realization dawned on them. They looked up at Chara as if to say, “… Really?”, and Chara nodded. Frisk licked their lips, looked out into the abyss, and called out:

“Toriel.”

As they said her name Toriel appeared, but something was wrong. Her eyes were glassy and unfocused, not seeing what was really around her. Her body language radiated fatigue, with her drooped posture and sagging face. “The Lost Soul appeared,” Chara said.

“I only want what’s best for you,” Toriel said, her voice haunted. “No one must ever leave again.”

“She’s forgotten,” Chara explained. “She’s back to how she was at the start. But she can’t have really forgotten you, Frisk. Remind her. Give her hope.”

Frisk ran up and hugged her knees. “Toriel, if you keep me safe by locking me away, then what you have isn’t a home. It’s a prison. You have to trust in me, you have to believe we’ll see each other again!”

The phantom nodded, life returning to her eyes as she gently patted Frisk’s head. “Very well. Your fate is up to you now!” Her form vanished from between their arms, but there was a faint light in the darkness where she once stood.

Frisk took a deep breath. If they could bring light to this darkness… this could work. This could really work! They just had to save them all! “Sans!”

The smaller skeleton appeared, slouching even more than usual. He stared at his pink fuzzy slippers but was not seeing them; the lights in his eyes were very dim, almost out. “just give up like i did,” he said, shaking his head slowly. “why even try? i’ll never see any of my friends again, and neither will you.” Chara bit their lip. Sans… was carrying a lot more on his shoulders than he seemed to. How much of himself had he really let Frisk and Chara see?

“I know things look bad,” Frisk admitted. “But I’ve managed to find a way out before. I’m going to think about what I’ve done and how I can do the right thing from now on. I’m not going to give up, so don’t you give up either!”

Sans reached up with one hand and knocked on the side of his head to make a hollow thumping sound. When he looked up his eyes seemed brighter and more alert. “don’t sweat it, i was just joking around. i’m rootin’ for ya, kid.” His form blurred and faded into light, brightening the darkness. The void resembled nautical dawn now, still dark but getting progressively brighter moment by moment.

Next. “Papyrus!” they called out.

At the mention of his name the tall skeleton appeared. He maintained his normal cool pose, but his bones rattled with the effort. “I must capture a human!” he shouted, more afraid than anything. “Then everyone will be my friend…”

Frisk shook their head. “Papyrus, what you want isn’t capturing a human, or even being a royal guard. You just want to like yourself, and have other people like you. That’s a great thing, but hurting people isn’t the way to do that. You don’t want to, you _can’t_ hurt anyone. So stop this… and instead, cook something for me! I’d…” They grimaced slightly but pressed on, “I’d love to help make your paskemi better!”

The skeleton vibrated in repressed emotion. “You’re right! After all, you’re my friend, I could never capture you!” He faded into the darkness, but his soul continued to resonate within Asriel.

No time to rest. “Undyne!”

From the darkness the heroine of monsters stepped forward. As with the others there was a white fog around her head and a blank look in her eyes. “All humans must die!” she cried out, though her face was empty of any emotion.

Frisk ran up and tapped her on the leg with their fist, giving them a fake hit. “Undyne, I know you want what’s best for monsters. But you know there are good humans, and you know hurting the weak is wrong! I’ll fight with all my strength, but don’t forget your pride!”

The fog lifted, and Undyne’s eyes regained their focus. They looked at Frisk a moment, bewildered, before breaking into a big smile. “Yeah. Some humans are okay, I guess! That means I can’t judge ‘em all as bad, but that’s fine too!” She became light to join the others.

Instead of an empty void Frisk was now floating in a sky of soft light, as if dawn was beginning to break. They turned toward the darker part of the sky once more. They had to shine the light everywhere. “Alphys!”

The scientist appeared in her formal dress, wringing her hands nervously. “I’m just a burden to everyone,” she mumbled. “All I do is hurt people.”

“That’s not true!” Frisk said. “Even if you make mistakes that doesn’t mean you always will! I’ll support you, we all will, so you can’t stop trying!”

Alphys grinned, still nervous but hopeful. “Okay. I can do it as long as I believe my friends still like me. And I can do that because I like them, too!” And she became light.

There was nothing for Chara to do. This was Frisk’s show. They were the one who made friends with everyone. But they still wanted to do something. So they encouraged them, “You can feel your friends’ souls resonating within Asriel! Just a little more now!”

Frisk nodded. Almost done now. “Asgore!”

The King appeared, cloak wrapped tightly over his shoulders and a grim visage carved into his face. “Forgive me. For this is my duty.”

“I won’t fight you,” Frisk promised. “There is a better way. We can save your people without anyone having to die. Let’s do it together, Asgore!”

For just a moment he finally resembled the Boss Monster who took Chara in when they were at their lowest, the kindly king everyone adored. “Very well. I will entrust our future to you!” He faded away, disappearing into the dawn light.

The expanse was now as bright as the dawn. Chara looked up at the sky, at the one place the light had yet to reach. “As you saved your friends, something else began resonating. There’s still one last person that needs to be saved.” This was it. After this it would be over. Everything would be over. Frisk stood still, locked in place while confusion played out in their mind. Finally they seemed to reach a decision. “You reach out and call their name,” Chara instructed, closing their eyes in contentment. This is the way it should end.

Frisk did as they were told.

“Chara.”

But not as they were expected.

Chara whirled around, confusion evident on their face. “What?”

They turned in place to look at Chara and extended their hand, palm up. They repeated more urgently, “Chara.”

Chara averted their gaze while laughing nervously. “F-Frisk, what are you doing? You’re ruining the moment. You were supposed to-”

Frisk interrupted them, “We should go to the library sometime. They might have that book you like, _Kitchen_. You could read it to me so we can enjoy it together.”

Chara backed away, shaking their head. Tears were forming in their eyes, and their smile wavered. Frisk was serious, weren’t they? “Frisk, we’ve been over this. I’m not worth saving. There’s barely anything left to save. I’m not the one you should-”

Frisk was still smiling, not listening to their words. “It would make me really happy to receive something you knit for me. If I told you when my birthday was, do you think you could have it ready?”

Chara was crying for real now, they were sure of it. “Frisk, please. Asriel is the one who’s hurting. He’s the one who deserves mercy. Save him! You can’t waste your time on-”

“After this, let’s enjoy some chocolate together. I’ll make sure not to touch the licorice.”

Their eyes burned, their throat hurt, and their heart was going to burst. “You know what I am! You know everything I’ve done! So how can you still think-?!”

Frisk stepped forward, tapping their forehead against Chara’s. “Thump,” they said quietly. With a shaking hand Chara touched their forehead. They tried to speak but their throat seized up. Instead they dropped a half-inch to the floor and stumbled, emotional turmoil keeping them from floating. Frisk opened their eyes to stare directly into Chara’s, a patient smile on their lips, and said, “You’ve been through so much. You’ve been telling yourself you can’t feel love, but I don’t think that’s it. From how you think of Asriel, to how much you care about the monsters, and even to how you let yourself trust me, it’s clear you can still love. You just won’t let yourself feel it. I think it’s ‘cause you’re scared. You haven’t been able to trust love, not yours or anyone else’s. You couldn’t bear being betrayed again, and you couldn’t let yourself hurt anyone else again. So you locked away your love, because you’d rather not feel it at all than risk it. That choice came from a pure place in your heart. But it’s time to let it out. Come back to us, Chara.”

Suddenly, the memories came flooding back.

* * *

“ _Chara! Asriel! We have a surprise for you!”_

_The two of them had been playing in the dining room ever since Asgore and Toriel kicked them out of Asriel’s room. They had been doing something in there all afternoon but absolutely refused to open the door. Asriel put down their crayons and held out their hand for Chara to take, but they refused it with a curt headshake. He lowered his hand and tried not to let the disappointment show on his face as he ran off to the room. Chara followed in a slow gait, not particularly excited. That changed when they heard Asriel burst open the door to his room and gasp. “Chara!” he shouted. “Chara, you have to come here!” Curious, they went from a slow walk to a half-jog._

_On their arrival they noticed a couple items had been moved from their place along the west wall; the north end of the room was now a little cramped with the bureau and the dressers side by side. In their place a second bed had been shoved against the wall opposite the existing bed. “What’s this?” they asked, approaching the bed cautiously._

“ _We moved things around a little,” Toriel said coquettishly. “It’s not healthy for a child to sleep on the floor all the time. So just as we promised, here is your bed.”_

“ _My… bed?” Chara pushed down on the mattress, testing its springiness._ My _, adjective, expresses first-person possession._ Bed _, noun, a collection of frame, box-spring, and mattress used for sleeping. They understood the meanings of those words individually, but next to each other they became nonsense. “My bed._ My _bed_. _”_

“ _Sorry it took so long,” Asgore said, wiping sweat off his brow. “It would have taken another week to get the carpenters to put it together, so I decided to just do it myself. Do you like it?”_

“ _Ha… ha ha…” They bit their lower lip. Humans slept for eight hours a day. They spent more time in bed than anywhere else. With Those People they did not have a bed, because they did not belong there. They were not wanted. Though they had a roof over their head once their bed had been thrown out they felt like an intruder. So why was it that there was a bed here for them? “Is it really okay? Even though I’m not even a monster?”_

“ _Of course!” Toriel said. “We would not have done this if we did not want you around after all.”_

_Chara shrugged, still unable to lift their eyes. “I… guess I’ll stay. After all, I don’t have anywhere else to go.”_

_Asgore rumbled with laughter, guessing the true meaning of their acquiescence. “I guess that settles it. Welcome to our home, Chara! Stay as long as you like!” Chara nodded, hiding their face from them. But the Dreemurrs still saw drops of water trickle down their face and drip off their cheeks._

* * *

The emotional intensity was strong enough to bring Chara to their knees. They clutched at their heart; their entire chest was on fire. Tears squeezed out of the corners of their eyes; not the thick black tears of self-recrimination but clear and watery and salty.

“What did you do?” Asriel’s voice called out. He did not sound nearly so intimidating now; he sounded lost and confused, as if he only now realized the sun was going down and he had no idea where he was. “What’s this feeling? What’s happening to me…?”

* * *

_Asriel fidgeted next to them, switching the bouquet of flowers back and forth to flex the fingers on one paw and then the other. Toriel kept her paws on his shoulders to keep him from running away. A few feet in front of them Asgore had set up a camera on a tripod and was busily tapping away at the timer. Toriel asked him, “Fluffybuns, do you need assistance?”_

“ _No, I’ve almost got it I think,” he said as he squinted, trying to maneuver his too-big fingers to press too-small buttons._

_Chara quipped, “It might have been simpler and faster to get a portrait instead of a photo.” Asriel nudged them, frowning. Sometimes Ree did not get their jokes, or did not realize they were supposed to be jokes._

_Asgore tapped the camera with a claw, as though the camera would do what he wanted if he showed it who was boss but he did not want to risk damaging it. “If we were to have a painting done we would need to have a plaque commissioned, and that would need to include everyone’s full name. You never told us your last name so it’s not something we can do right now.”_

_Chara noticed the implied question. “… I don’t have one. I had one on the surface, but I don’t want to go back there. I don’t want to have that name anymore. That’s fine, right? Lots of monsters don’t have last names.”_

“ _Well,” Asgore said, looking up with a twinkle in his eye. “If that’s the problem, why not take ours?”_

_Chara blinked. “Yours? You mean… your name?”_

“ _Why not? You’ve been living with us for just under a year now. You seem comfortable here. You and Asriel are as close as siblings already. And even if the two of you get into trouble sometimes it’s been a constant joy to have you. So let us make it official and permanent. ‘Chara Dreemurr.’ It has a sort of ring to it, doesn’t it?” He caught sight of Chara’s expression and softened. “Well, this is not something you have to make a decision about right now. It’s a big step, worth thinking about in detail. Take your time, the offer shall remain open. Ah, here we go!” They hurried over and got in place besides Toriel, putting his hands on Chara’s shoulders. “Smile for the camera everyone!”_

_Toriel admonished, “Chara, you have to hold your flowers lower! The camera can’t see you if you block your face like that!”_

_Chara shook their head and refused the order. Asriel laughed at their antics, mouth open and fangs showing. They grasped the flowers tightly and buried their face even deeper into them, hiding from the camera right up until the flash. They did not want the camera to capture their smile, too-thin lips parted and too-big teeth showing and their red eyes leaking tears of happiness. Their face would not come out in the picture, but every time they looked at it they would know they had been smiling at that moment._

* * *

The joy they felt in those moments were not tainted by doubt or self-loathing, there was no thought of having to repay the Dreemurrs or make up to them for some offense. It was a pure and simple expression of being, a whole-hearted celebration of life. It was love. And what was more important, they were _feeling_ it. Not as a memory or a void or an ache, but as a warmth which flowed through their entire body. How did they live without this? How could they have ever believed they could live without this?

Frisk gave one last smile to Chara and turned toward the expanse. “Asriel,” they whispered. As they did so Asriel appeared, still in the form of the angel of death but no longer triumphant. Now his wings and arms drooped and his head was lowered, as if he were standing out in the rain.

* * *

_Chara reached into the box and pulled out a gold locket on a string. The pendant was a heart shape, though the bale was on the heart’s point instead of between the rounded tops. Odd, that. “Why is it upside down?” they asked honestly._

“ _It’s not upside down!” Asriel pouted. “It’s a monster soul! Our souls point toward the sky, waiting for the day we get to the surface. You keep saying you’d prefer being a monster to being human. So I thought, if I can’t turn you into a monster I could do the next best thing and give you a monster soul. And look!” Asriel reached down his shirt and pulled out a similar-looking locket, except his heart was right-side-up. “I got one just like it, so we match! Now we each have a human soul and a monster soul!”_

_Chara let it dangle from their fingers, watching how it caught the light as it rotated slowly. They caught the etching on one side, letters engraved with painstaking care to spell out the message “Best Friends Forever”. Their entire face felt hot and floaty and ready to burst. “Can I put it on now?” Asriel nodded their assent and Chara put it around their neck. Never having worn any kind of neck jewelry before they had some trouble getting the clasp on. After a moment Toriel stepped up and Chara wordlessly accepted their assistance._

_As the clasp caught, something inside them slotted into place. It was like there had always been a piece of them missing, their whole life they had been incomplete and had not even noticed. Now they were whole for the very first time. They stared down their chest and fiddled with the reverse-heart, smiling softly. Their cheeks felt like they could set something on fire. Asriel laughed and opened his arms for a hug. Chara did not need to wait or think; they stepped into his embrace and wrapped their arms around him, his fur tickling the side of their neck. If their body wanted to have a fit about it then it could sit down and shut up for ten seconds. He deserved this. “Thank you,” they said through a tightened throat. “This is the nicest gift anyone has ever given me. I’ll treasure it always.”_

_Asriel squeezed a little tighter. “You’re welcome, Chara. I’m glad you like it.”_

“ _I love it,” Chara corrected._ And I love you. I love all of you. _They were too timid to say it out loud, but that made it no less true. They had thought it before, in a considering ‘what if’ kind of way, but now was the first time they ever thought they belonged here. That this was the one place in all the world the being called Chara fit in. And that, even if it was not their real birthday, was the greatest birthday present of all._

* * *

If they could have put that feeling in a bottle and kept it with them forever that would have been enough for them. They never had to break any barrier, they never had to die or to kill anyone. All they needed was to love and to be loved, to be wanted and to belong. And yet, once they had that they allowed themselves to doubt, to distrust, and eventually to erase that happy feeling, in essence if not in fact. It was not their greatest sin, you could probably not even use a word like “evil” to describe it, but it was the poisonous seed from which everything else bloomed. Ah, it was obvious now. Chara must have misunderstood. They thought they could not feel love because there was so little of their soul remaining that it was nearly the same as not having one at all. But all along they were the ones which had kept themself from feeling love. They had not believed in it. They had not trusted it. So they cut that part out of themself. And they would have stayed that way forever if Frisk had not come along and showed them how impossible that idea was. Chara could not live without love. Even if they denied it, their love would still be there.

Asriel hurled a barrage of magical energy, dozens and dozens of blasts. It would be impossible to evade them all. Frisk did not try. They put their forearms in front of their chest, trying their best to defend their soul as they were battered and buffeted. Even when the pain seemed unbearable, even when they lost all sensation in their arms, they still held them up like a shield to defend their weakened and fragile soul. “NO!” Asriel shouted. “I don’t need you! I don’t need anyone! Do you hear me? I’ll tear you apart!”

“Asriel,” Frisk repeated.

Seeing them in pain made Chara’s heart cry out. It was different from the phantom echoes of Frisk’s injuries, though that was still there. They knew what it was. It was stupid, it was impossible, it was completely ridiculous, but it was true. Even if they still hated humanity they loved Frisk. Not because they were trying to free the monsters, nor because they cared so much about Chara, and definitely not because Frisk was perfect because they would be the first to tell you they were not. Chara appreciated Frisk’s optimism and energy, they liked how active they were and how they were so easily able to rush into things without having to sit and mope and think of all the ways it could go wrong. They liked how, even when Frisk made a mistake, they never stopped trying to be good. It was a strength Chara wished they had, and wasn’t it only natural to be attracted to the qualities in others you wished for yourself? Frisk was as precious to them as any of the Dreemurrs.

“Asriel!” Frisk called out.

Asriel stopped his attack. Instead he clenched his fists and hung his head. “Chara,” he asked, still unable to recognize Frisk was not his old friend. “Do you know why I’m doing this? Do you know why I want to reset everything? It’s because I know once this battle is over we’ll go our separate ways again. I’m not ready for that. Chara… you were always the only one who understood me, so I know you understand now. I care about you more than anyone else. I don’t want to say goodbye! I wasn’t ready then and I’m still not ready now!”

They still loved Asriel too. Even with all the things he had done, even after everything they had done to him, he was still the same underneath. Maybe a little rougher around the edges, maybe a bit slower to trust now than he was, but they could still see the monster boy that made every moment in the Underground so wonderful. Most importantly, he was alive. Anything else could be fixed.

Chara saw in their mind’s eye how the rest of this battle would go. They knew what Asriel would do, how Frisk would respond, and how everything would progress. They knew then what they had to do.

“So please, stop doing this… and _just let me win!_ ” Asriel fired a laser as wide around as a school bus directly at Frisk. The attack could not be evaded. It could not be blocked. It could not be stopped. All Frisk could do was die. Time seemed to slow down as the deadly beam approached. Chara appeared as a green and yellow blur as they interposed themself between Frisk and Asriel’s final attack, spreading their arms and legs wide to take as much of it as possible. It was like a rushing wall of water, a thirty-foot tidal wave crushing all in its path, and Chara was a single person holding out their hand to halt it. The result was obvious and inevitable. The laser slammed into Chara, their tiny sliver of a soul glowing red hot in response. It should have broken and blown apart at once, and yet for a second it held.

_Knowing it’s finally time…_

Then it persevered for another second. And then for a third. Every moment should have been the last, and Frisk kept expecting to see their brave friend vanish forever. But the soul maintained its integrity. While it remained Frisk was safe in the shadow of its kindness, a torrential stream of magical energy flowing around them but not into them. That tiny sliver of a heart was acting as a shield, patiently protecting them from harm.

… _to make all our hopes and dreams come true…_

Chara turned their head to look back at Frisk over their left shoulder. Their eyes burned with a fierce justice, a ruby light that pierced through the technicolor rainbow all around them. Chara thrust their left arm back, reaching for Frisk’s hand.

… _It fills me with determination!_

Frisk did not ask how their aching body could step forward, or how they were able to grasp Chara’s hand, or how they could step into that torrent of magical power and not feel a thing. The answer was only too obvious: because love was the strongest of the virtues. They were on their feet, facing Asriel, staring into that blast of magic and death without fear, matching their friend as they both called out the last name, the last person to be saved.

“ _ **ASRIEL!**_ ”

His form shattered into thousands of shards of glass, falling into the field of soft white light and vanishing. Asriel, the ten-year old Asriel in a striped shirt and thin pants and all the problems in the world on his fuzzy shoulders, descended slowly to the ground. And it was the ground; the void was gone. They were back in the barrier room, the floor covered with debris and rubbled from their battle. He bawled openly, rubbing his eyes with both hands as the tears fell. “I’m so alone, Chara,” he said miserably. “I’m so afraid, Chara…”

There was no more strength left in Chara’s body and they collapsed on hands and knees. They gulped down one lungful of air after another, feeling like they could never get enough. Frisk ran up to them but was waved away. “Go,” Chara told Frisk. “I’ll be… okay. He needs you.” If we fall down we have to pick each other up. No one else will do it for us. That applied to him, too.

Frisk understood. They ran over to Asriel and put a hand on his shoulder. He sniffed once more and rubbed his eyes on his sleeve. “Heh…” he laughed. “I always was a crybaby, wasn’t I Chara?”

Frisk was not smiling anymore. They stared at Asriel for a long time, hand still on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” they said finally. “I’m-”

“I know,” Asriel interrupted, a sad smile on his face. “You’re not actually Chara, are you? Chara’s been gone for a long time.” Frisk could only nod their head. “Um… what… what is your name?”

They smiled. “It’s Frisk.”

Asriel giggled. “That’s… a nice name.” He took a deep breath. “As a flower, I lacked the ability to love. I couldn’t feel anything. But not only do I have my own compassion back, but I can feel everyone else’s too.” He put a hand on his chest. “Monsters are so weird, aren’t they? They barely know you but they all love you, Frisk. I can’t even say how much. I wish I could.” He clutched his chest, eyes watering again. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything I put you and everyone else through. I understand if you feel like you can’t forgive me, Frisk. I killed you. I tortured you. I hurt so many people. Even if I couldn’t feel love, that’s no excuse.”

“I unnerstand,” Frisk said with a smile. “I felt myself what that power can do to you. It’s like, ‘I can just take it back so even if I do something bad it doesn’t count.’ So you stop thinking about ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and do things because it’s fun, or because it might help, or you might learn something. Even if you hurt or kill people it doesn’t feel real. I think… we might be the only people who’ll ever know what it’s like. So I forgive you.”

Asriel turned away, a complicated smile on his face. “C’mon Frisk, you’re gonna make me cry again.” He closed his eyes and took a breath. “But I can’t stay like this. I have to return these souls. I have to bring all the monsters back. But first…” He turned to face the shining barrier, shaking off Frisk’s hand from his shoulder. “There’s something I have to do.” He raised his arm and gathered magical power in his open hand. Chara gasped and rose to their feet, still not feeling up to flying but still managing to limp over to where Frisk was. Asriel roared and shot a blindingly white orb from his hand. His bullet slammed into the barrier; the barrier strained to contain the force of it but cracked, buckled, and ultimately shattered under the immense force. Sunlight streamed in through the cavern opening.

Chara could scarcely believe their eyes. “The barrier… was destroyed,” they said breathlessly. He did it… he really did it! The barrier was broken! Monsters were free!

No one had any energy for an exuberant celebration, however. Even as they spoke Asriel seemed to deflate, as if his form was growing smaller and less distinct. The monsters appeared one after another: Toriel, Asgore, Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, and even Mettaton were scattered around the room lying down with their eyes closed, fast asleep. Chara was certain that all throughout the Underground monsters were appearing just like this, exactly where they were when Flowey absorbed them, as Asriel released their souls. Asriel turned back to Frisk with a wan smile. “Of course… without everyone’s souls I won’t be able to maintain this form. I’ll go back to being a flower. I’ll stop being able to love again.”

“No!” Frisk shouted. “We just met, I…” They turned to look at Chara. “There has to be a way.”

Asriel shook his head. “In this case, there isn’t. I can’t hold onto everyone’s souls forever, living my life while denying all of them theirs. And I can’t live with them as a flower… I tried that already and it was so painful I tried to erase myself. So… think of me as someone who was your friend for a little while. And if we see each other again don’t think of it as me. Just forget about me, okay? Be with the people who love you.”

Frisk could no longer restrain themself. They stepped forward decisively and hugged Asriel, squeezing as hard as they could. Asriel froze in shock, but quickly recovered and returned the hug. “I’ll never forget you,” Frisk said. “And I’ll never give up on you. Never ever. I’ll find a way. I promise.”

Asriel separated himself from the hug, though he still clung to Frisk’s arms. “Heh, you really are different from Chara. I wonder how things would have turned out if you fell instead of them. You’re the kind of friend I always wanted, while Chara… well, I love them and all, but they weren’t really the greatest person.”

Chara felt their stomach lurch. Frisk turned toward them, concerned, but they hid their face away from Frisk’s gaze. “Sorry, that was… it’s the meanest thing I’ve ever heard him say about anyone. Just because I deserve it doesn’t make it not hurt.”

Frisk whirled back to Asriel, frowning. “Asriel,” they said seriously. “Human souls are strong, much stronger than a monster’s. I think… if Chara really wanted to hurt those humans, they would have done it no matter how hard you tried. I think they wanted someone to stop them. You didn’t betray them, you did exactly what they wanted even if they didn’t know it. If they had a little more time they would have told you themself.” Chara covered their mouth and gasped, touched by Frisk’s belief in them.

Asriel said nothing. He stared at Frisk’s hands and took a deep breath. “I… I would really love to believe that. If it were true, then… maybe the Chara I knew wasn’t a lie.”

“I know it’s true,” Frisk said with a smile. “They loved you, and all of the monsters, right to the very end. It doesn’t change what they did, but they weren’t a bad person. They were just hasty, that’s all. You’ll forgive your hasty friend, won’t you?”

Asriel tilted their head. “… You talk like you know them. That’s so strange, but at the same time it’s not. You’re so different from them, but somehow… I feel like the two of you would have gotten along really well.” Frisk could not resist bursting out laughing at that, which only made Asriel look at them even more strangely. To be fair, Chara was laughing too. Asriel shook his head. “Well, I guess I’d better get going. My time’s running out, and I don’t want you to see… the end. Don’t worry, Frisk. You’re going to do great, okay? Everyone will be there for you, no matter where you go or what you do. But if I can ask one thing… take care of Mom and Dad for me, okay?” Frisk nodded. Asriel inhaled and nodded back. “Then… goodbye.” He walked past Frisk and back to the Underground, pausing only once when he passed by Alphys and Undyne. The two were sleeping next to each other, Undyne sprawled face-down and snoring with Alphys snuggled up against her. Asriel leaned over and moved Alphys’ hand to Undyne’s butt, snickering once before standing and walking out.

A single black tear fell from Chara’s eye. He did the right thing. He broke the barrier and no one would ever know what he did. He was the angel who freed everyone and he would spend the rest of his life alone and unable to love. Where was his happy ending? It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair, damn it! They caught Frisk’s expression and shook their head. “No. I hate it but he’s in this position in the first place because I didn’t respect his wishes. I won’t repeat that mistake.”

Frisk sighed, looking over the room. Everyone looked so peaceful. They would certainly be surprised when they woke up and found the barrier gone. “I feel like I could sleep forever,” Frisk said. “You?”

“I feel…” They should be happy, right? They should be proud. Instead they felt… light. No, it was closer to say they felt like air, misty and ephemeral. “Frisk…?” Chara said as their vision became blurry. “I don’t feel so good.” They tried to put a hand to their head but their hand… they could not see their hand. Their arm simply ended as a stump past their elbow, and more of their arm was disappearing before their eyes. Oh, of course. Ghosts could only stay as long as they had unfinished business. With the barrier destroyed Chara had fulfilled their dream. So it was time for them… to…

Frisk reached out to them in shock, but suddenly their face went slack and their body fell like dead weight. The last thing Chara saw before their vision went dark was Frisk, face down, unmoving.

* * *

Black. Black in all directions. Black inside and outside and everything in between. They felt hazy and distorted. Places and faces appeared before their mind’s eye, but none of them elicited much of a reaction besides a vague sense of familiarity. It was all mere flashes of light and color. No names came to them, no emotions blossomed within them, no thoughts crossed their mind. If identity could be described as a particular set of attitudes, opinions, and preferences, then they had no identity. Not even their own name came to them. It was just as well. This was fine. Even if they could muster up the effort to imagine what else life could be like, if not this, they could not honestly say they would prefer anything else. All there was in all the universe was This.

A voice broke the silence, “Come on! Hurry up!”

Another joined the first, “Hold yer horses, I’ma comin’.”

“We don’t have much time,” a third voice warned. “They’re fading fast.”

“Is this really going to help?” A fourth voice? How many people were here? A brief spike of pain tamped the thought down. It did not matter. It was easier to just float here than it was to think. Better to drift along. Or would it be more correct to say, “drift away”? A distinction without a difference, or at least no difference which mattered.

“The theory is sound,” came a fifth voice. “Besides, there is no more time for another plan. We will have to do what we can as best we can.”

“Aw yeah, Soul Squad to the rescue!” A sixth voice, more boisterous than the others.

“Please don’t give us a silly name,” someone said. Was it the third voice, or the fifth? It did not matter. They all sounded so urgent. Well, whatever they were doing was no concern to them. They treated it as any other stimuli, something to experience and discard without forming an opinion or emotional attachment to. “Alright, we’ve only got one chance at this so make it count. Ready?”

Bright flashes filled their vision, the colors mixing and blending together. An emptiness inside them they had not noticed until just that moment filled up, bringing heat and weight to their existence. They felt like they were about to burst, like there was so much more of _them_ it could not be contained. They were hyper-aware of themselves now, of their arms and hands and fingers and legs and feet and everything else. It was so overwhelming they wanted to scream, to tell whoever and whatever was there to stop whatever they were doing and let them go back to that drained but placid existence of just a few seconds before. And then it was over. They knew they had an incorporeal body again because it was all pins and needles. They sat up and groaned as they held their pounding head.

They opened their eyes to see the face of a blonde-haired human girl, smiling at them. She floated backward, her feet dangling in the open air, once she saw they were awake. “Hello Chara. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

Chara… that was right, their name was Chara. Why had they forgotten that? Chara turned their head to see six human children around them in a semi-circle. No, they did not know these people, but they sure seemed happy to see them. Chara rasped, “Who… are you all?”

“So you fergot,” said the boy with a cowboy hat, a twang in his voice. “Sorta figger’d. The part of you that’s here weren’t the part of you that came with us. Though mebbe you’ll remember us in a bit. I shore don’t get how all this works. Fer now just focus on yerself.”

Chara felt a migraine coming on. “Sorry about this, I don’t know where my mind’s gone.” They put a few connections together and realized who these people had to be. “But you all… you’re the humans, right? The ones who fell down after me?”

The child in the apron nodded. “We all met you at the Ruins and you traveled with us. You don’t remember, because… we either couldn’t, or wouldn’t save you when you learned the truth. After all you did to help us we let you down when you needed it.”

Chara snorted. “No. It’s my fault for making myself so hard to save. Besides, I should be the one apologizing. My screw-up thirty years ago got all of you killed.”

The small dark-skinned child wearing over-large glasses spoke next, “Not one of us climbed the mountain expecting to come back. We all knew the risks. If you remembered traveling with us you would know that, but… we lack the time to reminisce. Here’s the short version: you almost died, _again_.”

“It was totally sweet, though!” The boy in the karate gi pumped his fist. “Asriel was all like, ‘WOOOOOOOSH!’ and the eighth was like, ‘AAAAAAAAH!’, and you just went, ‘Nuh-uh!’ and tanked that bad boy!” The other children stared at him. He coughed, “But uh, yeah. He almost got you.”

The first girl spoke again, “You would be dead if we didn’t still have the pieces of your soul you left with us. We’ve given them back to you, and that should be enough to ensure your survival. At least, that’s what this one says.”

The child in the glasses huffed at that remark. “It’s a little more complicated than that, but whatever. You were about to fade away. We’re going to disappear in not too much longer anyway, but since you have an actual body to hang onto you should at least have a choice about it.”

The last child, the one in a ballerina tutu, said, “You’ve got more of your soul now than you ever had with any of us. Maybe two thirds of a full one? You’re on your own for the last of it. But this’s the best we can do.” They made a movement like a curtsy, and the other souls followed suit with bows and flourishes of their own. “Well, that’s it. You can come with us to the next world, or you can stay with the eighth for a little or a long while. It’s completely up to you.”

“Wait!” Chara said. “I want to remember you. I want to know you. Can’t you stay? Just for a little bit?”

The ballerina put their hands on their hips. “And where do you of all people get off telling someone not to-”

“Simmer down,” the boy in the cowboy hat said, stepping forward. “They get it just fine, or else they will if they think for two seconds. No sense rubbin’ their nose innit. In our case, Chara, it ain’t our choice to make.”

The child in the glasses explained, “And no, we can’t piggyback onto your ride. Humans can’t absorb human souls, remember? I suspect some of Asriel’s essence is still attached to you; that’s why you were able to latch onto our souls when we were alive and it is what is keeping you attached even now to the eighth. It’s just a hypothesis, but it fits the data. Two human souls chained together with the remnants of a monster’s soul… it would be very intriguing. But yes, long story short we don’t have the choice you have.”

The karate boy gave Chara a thumbs-up. “But it ain’t no thang! Don’t worry about us and just do what you wanna do. Though, uh, I gotta admit, I’d be kinda disappointed in you if you decided not to go back. Leaving things as they are and coming with us would be kinda… well you get me, right?”

Chara understood. They did not want to understand, they did not want to think of all the reasons they had to stay. It would be so much easier than having to muster up hope and determination, day after day, to an uncertain point of time in the future. If their love was still locked away they might have been able to pass without regret. But the truth was… they could not leave things like this. Monsters were free, yes, but there was still humanity to deal with. Asriel was going to spend the rest of their life alone and unable to love. And Frisk?… They wanted to see Frisk again. They did not want the last time they saw each other to be Chara vanishing into thin air with not even enough time for a proper goodbye. After everything Frisk did for them they deserved better than that. Chara shook their head. “No. I can’t rest yet. There’s something else I need to do.”

The child in the apron let out a breath. “I’m glad to hear that, Chara. Really, I am.”

“Just a sec,” said the boy in the cowboy hat. “I ain’t leavin’ ‘til I git this offa my chest. They’re all tapdancin’ around it, but I’m the one that didn’t try to save you on that balcony. I letchu die. Ah know this don’t mean nuthin’ ‘cause you don’t remember it but I was wrong, ‘kay? I saved yer life just now ‘cause I saw whatcher did for the eighth and figgered you deserved another chance. So we square?”

“Yeah,” Chara said. “We’re square. But they aren’t ‘the eighth’. Their name is Frisk.”

“Frisk,” the children repeated, nodding to themselves.

“Chara and Frisk, first and last,” said the blond girl. “Give our thanks to them. We owe them so much for making our wishes come true as well. I know I don’t need to tell you this, but please continue to watch over them.” The souls all waved as they faded gently into the darkness.

“We wish you all the happiness in the world.”

“Have fun!”

“Take care of yerself!”

“This isn’t goodbye!”

“We’ll see each other again!”

“So rock on, Chara!”

Then Chara was alone, darkness stretching on forever in every direction. But they knew where they were and where they belonged right now. They knew the place they could never stray from.

“Sorry for scaring you Frisk,” they said as they closed their eyes. “I’ll be right there.” They did not know where they were, but they knew where they belonged. A tether pulled on them, dragging them across thousands of miles in the span of a single breath while not moving them an inch in all the history of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will come out as normal on Monday. That’s tomorrow. Let’s finish the job.


	22. Conclusion: Farewell, Underground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which an ending is reached.

Frisk was asleep for several hours after Chara returned. The monsters were too scared to move them, thinking that if they did they might make things worse. Most of the monsters returned to their lives, but Frisk’s closest friends kept a vigil while they dealt with official business. It did not take long for news of the barrier’s destruction to spread throughout the Underground, nor the Queen’s return, nor that the human was responsible for both of these things. Toriel accepted her position as Queen, at least in a political capacity, and Asgore was his usual amicable self. But they refused to look each other in the eye or even refer to each other by name. Papyrus was originally upset that his friend Flowery disappeared, but this quickly gave way to outrage that the Royal Guard was to be disbanded without him ever getting a chance to join. Sans stepped out for a moment and would not explain why, only that he “needed to check on something”. He was gone for only a few minutes then he came right back, his expression carefully neutral. Neither Sans nor Papyrus talked to Chara; too many other people around. Alphys grabbed a moment of downtime to explain the situation with the Amalgamates as well as her original deception with Mettaton; Asgore understood and forgave her, while Toriel sympathized but fired her on the spot. Undyne did not seem too heartbroken about that, telling Alphys that with the whole world to explore they did not have to stay in a government job. The two of them were low-key flirting with each other, Alphys insisting they had no idea how their hand ended up there and Undyne laughing heartily about it. Mettaton ran off somewhere, something about organizing a new act to debut on the surface. He managed to find a moment to whisper to Chara that he was going to see if they could bring their cousin into the show biz fold; Chara wished them luck.

When Frisk woke up everyone else stopped what they were doing to crowd around them. Frisk scanned their faces in a panic and did not settle down until they found the one they were looking for. Floating above all the others was a brown-haired red-eyed human child, staring down at Frisk with a calm smile. Frisk smiled back, and it was amazing to Chara how much those simple gestures to each other communicated.

“Frisk!” Toriel said. “Thank goodness you’re awake!”

“W-we were so worried about you…” Alphys said.

Undyne nodded. “Yeah, tell us next time before you take a nap!”

“Sorry,” Frisk said, before straightening a little. “How do all you know my name?”

The monsters all looked at each other. “We are… uncertain,” Asgore admitted. “There are gaps in our recollections. We were about to fight, everyone showed up, there was a flower and then… the barrier was gone, you were asleep, and we all knew your name. Golly, how mysterious!”

Frisk stood up, brushing themself off. “But… if the barrier is gone, what are you still here for?”

Toriel said, “You’re the one who made all this possible. It would not feel right to leave without you. If you still need a moment we can wait for you; we’ve all waited over a thousand years, a few minutes won’t hurt us.”

Frisk thought for a moment. “I need about twenny minutes, alone. Is that okay?”

“More than okay!” Papyrus said. “You go and do whatever you need to do! We’ll be here, practicing lines to say over and over!”

“seriously,” Sans agreed. “if there’s anything you wanna do or anyone you wanna talk to, do it now. it’s only going to get busier from here so take it easy while you can.”

Frisk nodded. “I’ll see you all in a bit.” Everyone waved as they left the barrier room, walking purposefully back through the throne room and towards New Home. Once they were alone they turned to Chara. “Thank you,” they said. “For helping me, and for coming back. I never could have done this without you.”

“I only helped a little bit at the end,” Chara said. “You’re the one who went all that way and made friends with everyone. You’re the one who kept fighting when I was ready to give up. You even gave me back my ability to love. Even if you messed up a little along the way you broke the barrier like you promised. You did good, kid.” Chara pantomimed patting Frisk on the head, or at least it was supposed to be a pantomime. Their palm physically stopped at Frisk’s head and they could feel, _actually feel_ , the curls of their hair and the solidity of their body. Frisk whirled toward them in a wide open-mouthed smile and Chara held their hands up defensively. “I-I-I’m sorry,” they said with a nervous grin and huge eyes. “The other souls, they gave me some of the bits of my soul back, and I guess that’s made me more physical? I didn’t know I could do that, I didn’t know that would happen…”

Frisk did not seem bothered in the slightest. In fact it was the opposite; they looked like Christmas had come early. Frisk opened their arms for a hug. Chara blanched and held out a hand for a shake. “I… don’t suppose we could ease into this?” Frisk pouted and continued holding out their arms, making a small annoyed sound in their throat. Chara’s grin became lopsided. They knew Frisk was not as annoyed as they pretended; if Chara was really not up for physical contact they would be disappointed but they would accept it. Chara sighed. “Alright, just this once. Don’t get used to it.” Frisk smiled like they had every intention of getting used to it as Chara floated down and they wrapped their arms around each other. Frisk was warm, and soft. Their hug felt like they were nestling in a blanket on a winter day.

“You’re a tiny bit cold,” Frisk said.

Chara nodded. “Room temperature, I’d say.” This was nice. Not an everyday thing, not something they would be ready for anytime, but once-in-a-while-nice.

They broke off the hug before the heat had a chance to reach their cheeks and Frisk continued their walk. Chara tried to drag their fingers along the wall but passed right through it. They could even still pass through the floor like it was not there. So it was only Frisk they could touch? When they entered Asgore’s house Frisk went down the hall and toward the mirror, checking to see if maybe Chara would appear. No dice. Chara shook their head. “Still just you, Frisk.”

“Not what I’m here for anyway,” they said and made a beeline for the kitchen. They calmly got themselves a plate and a fork, then returned to the living room to pull up a seat at the dinner table. They rummaged through their pocket for a piece of aluminum foil; they unwrapped it and transferred its contents to the plate. It was a little smooshed from being in Frisk’s pocket for so long, but it still looked and smelled delicious. Chara’s breath caught in their throat. Frisk only smiled and picked up the fork in their left hand. “Finally know what I was saving this for,” they said as they chopped into the pie with their fork, turning the pie chunk over to rest across the tines. “Thought it might not taste right if you couldn’t love.” That was all they said before transferring the pie to their mouth.

Chara closed their eyes and let the velvety smoothness fill the inside of their mouth. “You ate the Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie,” they said reverently. “Tastes like victory.”

* * *

After Frisk finished the pie the returned to the barrier room and said they were ready. They were tempted to go through the Underground at a more leisurely pace, poking into all the places they had not gotten a chance to explore and reconnecting with everyone they met along their way, but it would not be nice to the monsters. They had waited long enough for this. They all stepped out in the open air, shielding their eyes from the setting sun. Alphys giggled uncontrollably while Undyne took huge breaths through her nose, enjoying the clean air. “Look!” Papyrus shouted. “I’m meeting the sun!”

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Asgore said with an appreciative sigh, his eyes watering. “It seems so different from the last time I saw this… but at the same time not very different at all.” Most of western New Hampshire was still dotted with the original mountains and forests that had been there since time immemorial. A few lodges, cabins, and towns dotted the rivers, and of course the office buildings and plants of Weymouth poked up through the foliage. Chara seemed dumbstruck; in their memories they had referred to it as a “village”, but by Frisk’s time it had become a sizable city. Frisk idly wondered what had happened to make a place grow like that in just thirty years.

“We should think about what comes next,” Toriel said, disrupting the moment. “This is only the first step of our return to the surface.”

“Oh, right,” Asgore said as if he had just awoken. He cleared his throat and when he spoke again it was in his regal voice: “This is the beginning of a new era, a bright future where human and monster live in peace. We must never forget all we have worked for and all the sacrifices which have led us to this point. Frisk… would you be our ambassador to the humans?”

Frisk swallowed hard. “That’s… a big job. It should be done by someone better at talking than me. I’ll do what I can, I’ll tell them you’re nice and deserve to be free… but I’m sorry. I can’t do that.”

“It’s not a problem Frisk!” Papyrus said, slapping them on the back. “You don’t need to worry about a thing! I, the great Papyrus, shall take the post! I’ll get started right away!” Then he charged off down the mountain path before anyone could stop him.

“uh oh,” Sans said, more amused than actually worried. “somebody’d better go stop him from getting into trouble. but I’m sure you guys can handle it. call me once things have settled a little.” With that he turned on his heel and went straight back into the Underground, waving over his shoulder.

“Really?” Undyne said incredulously. “Why do you have to be so lazy at a time like this? PAPYRUS! Wait up!” She ran after him, leaving a trail of dust in her wake.

“Undyne! Slow down! Wait for me this time!” Alphys was quick to follow her new girlfriend.

This left only Frisk, Toriel, and Asgore on the cliff side. Asgore bounced on the balls of his feet, looking around. “Should I… be doing something?” Toriel glared at him. “Why yes. Yes I should. I’ll be… over there.” He briskly walked off down the path, clearly having no destination in mind but unwilling to risk his ex’s wrath.

“Well!” Toriel said, letting her anger wash off her face. “I guess it’s just the two of us now. But… be honest with me, Frisk. You came to us from the surface. There must be a place for you to return to.”

Frisk sighed. Well, that was fun. But it was time to head back. Back to the foster care system. Back to being Frisk “Place” Holder. The state would never let a monster keep a human child. There was no room to hope otherwise.

“Tell her, Frisk.” Frisk looked over their shoulder, where Chara was nodding. “You deserve to be loved too.”

Frisk’s lip trembled. Their fingers fidgeted, their throat felt dry. They could not speak. They turned back to Toriel and signed, _I want to stay with you_.

Toriel blinked. “Wha…” Then she laughed, and for a moment their world collapsed around them. Of course not. There was no way she would-

“Oh, Frisk, you are a funny child!” Toriel wiped a tear from her eye. “If you had said that earlier, none of this would ever have happened. I’m glad it took so long for you to change your mind.” She offered her hand to them. “Well… as long as you need us, we shall all be here for you. Come along my child. Everyone’s waiting for us.”

Frisk took her hand and walked along with her, their feet light. Frisk held their right arm back with their hand open. They looked behind them and motioned with their head, inviting their partner with a smile. Chara swallowed hard and leaned away for a brief moment, but they floated down and took Frisk’s hand. It was a little cold and Chara’s fingers were very slightly larger than Frisk’s but it felt comfortable in their grasp. Frisk faced forward, their face beaming like the sun they were walking towards. They would probably have to let go before they met up with the others; to most everyone else Frisk would look like they were holding hands with an invisible friend. They would have a few questions if they saw Frisk like that, and they could sense Chara was still uncomfortable with letting people know about them. And of course this was not the end by any means. They would not be satisfied until Chara and Asriel had reclaimed their lives, even if it took months or years. Frisk would never give up on them. But that was then. For the moment they walked down the mountain hand-in-hand-in-hand, the very picture of a happy family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of How to Save a Soul. The next chapter is a series of annotations concerning various decisions, plot events, and headcanon. I love to Director's Commentary even on movies and shows I didn't really enjoy, and not many writers are willing to speak about writing as a craft. I write the content I wish to see in the world, so I wanted to peel back the curtain a bit and show off a bit of what was going on behind the scenes and maybe tease a couple things for later in the series. If that sort of thing doesn't interest you there's no harm in not reading it; you can jump ahead to the next part of the series instead.  
> Constructive criticism is most highly prized, but any comment or kudos you offer will be appreciated. I try to respond to every comment and I definitely read all of them!  
> Thank you very much for reading this story all the way to the end. It has been a constant pleasure to write it and speak with everyone who reviewed and commented.  
> 


	23. Appendix: Annotations & Headcanon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I have not separated the annotations by chapter, but by plot arc. The original story text will be in _italics and underline_ , while my own comments about that particular line or section will be below it in plain text.
> 
> Disclaimer: I use authoritative language in these annotations (”must”, “obviously”, “proves”, etc), but I am only an authority when it comes to my interpretations of Chara and Frisk. Though I may use evidence from the game to support my views, do not take this to imply my interpretations are the only possible ones or even necessarily the most accurate ones. There are lots of different ways to characterize these two children and they are all wonderful, so do not take what works for me and this story to mean your own interpretation is incorrect or lesser than mine.  
> Except the people who think Chara is mindlessly evil and wants to kill all the monsters for the lulz. You people are objectively wrong.

**RUINS ARC**

 

 _They would accept any punishment, endure any torture, put up with anything, just please, please save Asriel…_  
I started with a flashback of Asriel and Chara’s last moments to show Chara feels regret over their actions, to prime people that Chara a) makes mistakes, sometimes huge ones, yet b) is still intended to be a sympathetic character. In the first couple chapters especially Chara is aloof and kind of a jerk because the only person they can speak with is a human who they owe no favors to. They needed this humanizing moment.

 _Chara stopped shouting and their grin faded as a thought came to them. “… Can you really not hear me?”  
_ Try examining the flowers when you first start a game: you get nothing. However, if you return after the Flowey tutorial, then and only then do you get the message about flowers which “must have” broken your fall. Chara is guessing: they weren’t awake to see it firsthand but they’re making inferences based on available data. I interpreted this as Frisk being unable to see or hear Chara when they first woke up, but it’s also possible Chara was not awake yet. Either way, Chara does not provide narration until after the Flowey “fight”.

 _Chara felt an invisible wall push against their back.  
_ More than one reader asked whether I was inspired or had outright thieved from the flavortextchara tumblr comic. I’m not going to lie and say I’m completely unfamiliar with it, but a lot of ideas I had predated reading the comic. I never for one moment considered having an internal voice Chara or adopt any kind of body sharing mechanic; to me Chara was always a ghost. So much of what they say and mean comes from slight changes in expression and body language. The kind of body-sharing common in Narrator Chara fics sounds more like soul absorption, which a human canonically _cannot_ do with another human soul. I decided from the start that Chara had a small piece of their soul remaining, since the chapter 14 scene at the barrier is one of the first scenes I wrote, and this limited my options a bit. More on that when I get there.

 _The child thought for a moment. “What are your pronouns? Ah, it’s they/them for me.”  
_ One of the people I showed the original version of this chapter to had some words for me. I had Frisk ask for “preferred” pronouns” and this reader got upset. “They are not a preference,” they told me. “They are a requirement. They are part of who they are and you don’t get to disrespect that and call them your friend. Those are _their pronouns_.” As a cis straight male my privilege means I don’t need to think about gender issues in my day to day life, or at all if I don’t want to, but basic civility and respect requires I am sensitive to them and correct myself. I removed the word “preferred” and the scene works much better for it. At that time I had not folded language difficulties into Frisk’s character yet; it is possible even without this conversation I would have removed the word later while questioning whether Frisk would use it. Another reader pointed out this is a sort of awkward way to introduce the subject; I rationalized it as, the typical way to learn someone’s pronouns is to hear someone else talking about the person, and since that was not going to happen with Chara, Frisk has no way of learning them other than asking outright.

“ _Oh?” Chara’s smile became a bit smug. “You aren’t good at puzzles?”_  
Two things I want to mention here. First, let’s talk about the Player. In my humble opinion the Player is not directing Frisk like a puppeteer, but rather subtly nudges them into being more decisive. The options presented in battle are based on things Frisk wants to do in that particular situation; the Player can subtly guide them but can’t make them act contrary to their nature. So when Frisk crushes Snowdrake’s spirit with the “Heckle” command or acts creepy towards Shyren those are impulses Frisk has. The Fight and Mercy commands are also part of Frisk’s problem-solving toolkit, so it is totally possible Frisk might have freed or genocided the monsters even without the Player’s input (really unlikely, mind, but possible). Because those are things Frisk would do normally, when the Player guides them Frisk believes it was their own idea to act in that fashion. They don’t realize they’re being controlled at all. In the game Chara is almost certainly aware of the Player and how they might perceive things, given the jokes they make about perspective and the GUI. The Genocide speech also shows they know the Player has some influence over Frisk but may or may not know the full extent of it. In this series neither Chara nor Frisk is aware of the Player; this fic is about the relationship between Chara and Frisk, and having a largely unknown and unknowable third party would distract too much from that.  
The other thing? I consider it my greatest failure of the fic that, with the timid and wary personality I gave Frisk in these early chapters (because they have no idea what’s going on), I was unable to work in the line, “Wow! You are super fast at being wrong!”

 _Chara sighed. “If I had known you would be in danger I would have told you about this earlier.”  
_ I took some minor liberties with how magic and bullet combat work. I tried to steer away from video game terminology as much as possible, except in the case of Save/Load where it would be awkward to avoid those terms. Needing a direct hit to the soul for bullets to kill is setup for Frisk’s solution to the Toriel fight, and the near one-hit kill aspect allows for future battles to maintain tension. Also it doesn’t take much before I get bored with writing fights, so I tend to exaggerate damage to end them more quickly. I would provide more details on what an expanded magic field means in later chapters; this is what allows Chara to get an estimate on the attack and defense of monsters and know their names even if they are not familiar with them. Because it is only an estimate this also allows for Chara to be wrong if the enemy is strange (like Papyrus) or are deliberately holding back (Toriel and Asgore).

 _The chocolate had a smooth, rich, sweet taste. They failed to suppress both a moan of satisfaction and a single tear; hurriedly they wiped it away but not fast enough.  
_ Chara likes chocolate. Few kids don’t. To have such a passionate reaction in the Genocide route, though, implies there’s more going on there than _just_ the chocolate. As we later learn, chocolate is Toriel’s way of saying “everything will be alright now, you are in a safe place”. That chocolate was rare in the Underground meant they could only have it when it was really necessary for their psychological well-being. Chocolate was very much a sometimes food for Chara, and that made it all the more meaningful for them.

“ _Wow!” Frisk beamed. “That’s amazing! So handsome, and the hat is cool too!”  
_ I originally had a recurring joke in store concerning Frisk’s flirting: in my earliest versions Frisk would make incredibly lewd remarks without really understanding what they were saying (eg, openly wondering how it would feel for Napstablook or Chara to be inside them, referring to their incorporeality but implying… yeesh). I wisely decided that, funny as that might be in my head, when it comes out of the mouth of an eight-year old it crosses a few lines.

“ _What, you don’t like puns? How disappointing. Frankly I’m a-ghast.”  
_ One of my betas suggested it should be “I’m a- _ghost_.” I replied that was more of a Sans-level joke. Chara takes some pride in their punnery. Personally I’m ambivalent about puns; I grumble about them but I think Chara is essentially right when they say even people who hate puns smile when they hear one.

“ _Yes, I have red eyes. I suppose it is a demon thing.” Chara pointed at the switch which next needed to be flipped to open the door. Looking to change the subject quickly they asked, “Now that you mention it what color are your eyes?”  
_ There is some debate over whether Chara’s eyes are actually supposed to be red; by now it’s such a huge piece of fanon that it’s odd to find a fic or artwork where they are not depicted with red eyes. I personally feel when Chara is seen at the end of the Genocide route the resolution of the sprite is too small to make out what color their eyes are supposed to be (see also Toriel or Asgore’s overworld sprites). Frisk’s eyes also being red makes their question less of curiosity than as an invitation to camaraderie: “So… [life with] red eyes [kinda sucks], huh?” This was perhaps a too clunky and obvious way to draw attention to the idea that Frisk’s eyes were not always how we see them in the game while setting up Chara’s “creepy face” to also be a product of the same phenomenon. Still not sure if there was a better way to do this.

“ _Don’t be like that,” Frisk laughed. “Tell me what it is. I’ll help if I can. Please?” Something in their tone suggested this was not just an idle question or random small talk.  
_ It was not until I was nearly finished writing the second chapter that Frisk’s personality started to coalesce. Many writers give Frisk saintly patience and endless good intentions, but I’ve always found that default unsatisfying. I always felt a “perfect Frisk” takes away from the message of Undertale; if Frisk doesn’t need to try to be a good person, why do Neutral routes exist? Why is Genocide a possibility? And how are we, the player, supposed to relate to a perfect being? The easiest way to explain my Frisk is with Enneagrams, basic personality types based on a persons needs, wants, and fears. Most authors write Frisk as a healthy-ish Nine, concerned primarily with promoting harmony among their peers. My Frisk is a moderate to unhealthy Two; they are ashamed of who they are, feel they are unlovable, and are motivated by a need to be validated by other people. They don’t actually mean it when they say, “It’s no trouble”, “I’m okay”, or things like that, what they want is to be recognized and appreciated for their effort and sacrifices. They may do or say the same things as a Nine, but there is an undercurrent of manipulation and quid-pro-quo present in their interactions which a Nine has no interest in, but they also show much more personal and targeted care toward others which a Nine might think of as favoritism. When Frisk offers to break the barrier they are not deterred by Chara’s anger, they are encouraged. After all, if it’s difficult that means Chara will be even more impressed and love them even more for it, right? By contrast Chara is an unhealthy Five; they are terrified and confused by the world and seek to retreat from it so they can study it and understand it better, and their greatest fear is that there is no place for them to belong. Chara feels a lot of guilt throughout the story because they’re still coming to terms with what they did, but guilt or shame is not the negative emotion which motivates them: it’s fear.

 _Toriel wagged her finger, “No no no! It’s more than that, it’s a celebration of you! Denying someone their birthday is denying them as a person.”  
_ An advice column letter went viral in the late aughties; a mother wrote in for assistance dealing with her moody child, whom she claimed was acting up because she forgot their birthday a few times. The advice columnist unloaded on her with a variation of what Toriel says here. As someone who doesn’t and never did care about their birthday that much it stuck with me for some reason.

 _If they climbed Mt. Ebott they were not planning on ever coming back, but Chara let it go. It clearly bothered Frisk to talk about it and Chara had to respect their boundaries if they expected Frisk to respect theirs.  
_ As we later learn Frisk fully intended to return from Mt. Ebbot. Chara might be empathetic and analytical but they are by no means psychic.

 _It was on the tip of their tongue, come on now, Toriel makes her pie crusts using flour made from ground… water sausage! They were water sausages! Maybe it was not much, but they would take their victories where they could get them at this point.  
_ Frisk will not look at any of the books, but Chara would need to know what a water sausage is to identify Sans’ hot dogs. Cue shoehorning this in. I would later forget to write Sans’ hot dogs into the Hotland arc, rendering this superfluous. Whoops.

 _How could she do this, they asked themselves. Yes she always had a bit of a temper, she raised her voice and even grounded them or put them in time out when they acted out, but… she was actually attacking! The same person who held them as they cried, who gave them a warm and loving home when they had nowhere else to go, who gave them faith that maybe adults weren’t all terrible, was raising her hand against a child with the intent to kill. With her power Frisk would become Crisp in seconds, and even knowing that she was still going to fight? How could she?! […] “Knows what’s best for you.”  
_ The Check description in the Toriel fight is short and clipped. It reads not unlike most of the narration in the Genocide route. Chara is _furious._ You may also notice this is when the Check descriptions stop being so one-sided in favor of the monsters; their faith is badly shaken, and unless Frisk actively works to make Chara believe peace between humans and monsters can still work… well, the bag of dog food will remain half-empty. By contrast, in my headcanon the Toriel fight is when Chara becomes fully committed to the Genocide route. If even Toriel could betray their trust maybe monsters aren’t worth saving after all.

 _They did. Between ragged breaths Frisk croaked out, “I have to go. I made a promise… I’m going to free everyone.” “This isn’t goodbye,” Frisk promised, returning the hug. “We will see each other again.” Toriel did not respond.  
_ In order for the Hug and Talk commands to work as they do in the Lost Soul fight, Frisk had to have said something like this in the Pacifist route. This is a rather clever use of the “silent” protagonist on Toby Fox’s part: he could not put these lines into the fight itself because he would have no way of knowing the player intended to continue on a Pacifist route through the rest of the current run. Instead he slips these lines into the Lost Soul fight under the rationale that since you are on a Pacifist run Frisk must have said something like this to Toriel. Your current actions inform what your past ones must have been.

 _The flower watched Frisk with a goofy smile on their face, radiating insincere whimsy.  
_ I contemplated having the first Interlude be here, where Frisk would kill Toriel and Load to undo it. There were a lot of dramatic problems with this and I abandoned the idea. First, Frisk is not yet aware of their power and their stress has not yet reached the point where they are ready to lash out; they have no desire to hurt Toriel. Second, Flowey telling Chara about Loads and that Frisk killed Toriel would do irreparable damage to Chara & Frisk’s relationship as it is still too young to survive a shock of that magnitude; the only other place for this reveal would be during the Photoshop Flowey fight, and there was already enough drama and angst in that chapter without piling more on it (not to mention, since that timeline would ultimately be Loaded away, it could not be from Chara’s POV and thus be mostly meaningless). Finally, if Frisk were to kill Toriel it would be retreading old ground for them to also kill Undyne later, and that was a scene with a lot more potential. I had not yet read a lot of Undertale fanfiction at the time, so I had no idea killing Toriel was so common in novelizations nor that killing Undyne was almost unheard of.

* * *

 

**SNOWDIN ARC**

 

 _Fields of Snow  
_ I gravely underestimated how much of a pain this chapter was to complete. At one point I deleted over 2,000 words because I was just going through the motions of what happened in the game without adding anything new or funny. I did not start posting this story until everything up to chapter 3 was finalized, with the expectation that I would be able to complete one chapter a week and have a two-week buffer. My buffer vanished pretty much instantly and never recovered.

 _After Toriel went to all the effort to paint Chara into a corner, she was not going to punish them? Nothing about this house made sense. They felt like they were standing on quicksand.  
_ Children coming from an abusive household have trouble understanding new environments; they can’t let go of the survival instincts they honed in their previous house and get confused when others don’t understand their coping strategies.

 _Asgore chuckled for some inscrutable reason. “Now that that’s settled… honeyblossom, can you contact the carpenters?” Honey- what? His tone became saccharine-sweet at that word. Who was he calling that? Toriel smiled. “Of course, Snookie-wookums.” Oh, of course. Asriel stuck out his tongue in disgust, and Chara had to bite back the urge to do the same.  
_ Before everything happened Asgore and Toriel were _gross_ as a couple. They were one of those pairs that mentally never left the honeymoon phase. Even at eight years old Asriel is thoroughly sick of them.

 _it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts  
_ This is the first hint we get that something is wrong with Chara’s memories. Their inability to remember what should be a very happy memory is because they’ve sealed off their ability to love; remembering something like this would break that seal and leave them vulnerable again. Representing this with the phrase “it hurts” in all lowercase and no punctuation is a reference to the PC adventure game Trillby’s Notes, though these words in that game have a completely different meaning.

 _Chara swore loudly, stamping their foot in a miniature tantrum. “I knew it I knew it I freakin’ knew it! That comedian…!”  
_ The evidence for Chara knowing Sans is thin. Sans is the only character whose theme on the soundtrack ends in a period, like whoever is reading it is spitting out the name in contempt. If Chara provides all the flavor text and possibly the save point names, why not the soundtrack titles? There is some debate about whether the “That comedian” text in the Genocide route refers to Sans or Snowdrake (IMHO, it is unclear whether “the comedian” in “the comedian got away” is the same as “that comedian”). Also, remember here that Sans can see what Chara is doing. He’s very careful about how he acts because he knows if he drops _any_ hints Chara is smart enough to figure out he actually can see them. He’s proven right in “Old Familiar Faces”, when he stops caring and Chara puts the pieces together almost instantly.

“ _I know that sound just now was you. Can you please stop toying with your prank devices and recalibrate your puzzles? Today could be the day a human comes!”_  
I kept Sans’ speech quirk of speaking all in lowercase but not Papyrus’ quirk of speaking in all uppercase. The big reason for this is because of personal preference: in a dialogue box all uppercase still sort of works, on a page of prose it absolutely does not. It is very distracting and strains my eyes. If you don’t believe me go read  A Prayer for Owen Meany, a great book but the title character’s speech is in all uppercase for important reasons and it still looks awful.

“ _Oh no you don’t Sans!” Papyrus said. “You’re not getting out of work that easily! If you can’t be bothered with your puzzles, at least brush up on your jokes! You’ve made the same old skeleton puns for years, I know you can do better!”  
_ Too many authors and comic artists depict Papyrus as hating puns. The same guy who jokes about being the only skeleton in his closet, claims the Royal Guard is a “pupularity contest” because only dogs are allowed to join, and insists his makeshift guard station is fortified in “cardboardhydrates”. Papyrus loves puns! He hates _skeleton_ puns. I suspect this is because he’s heard all of them, every last one, and Sans keeps telling them.

 _Chara made a special note of two of the dogs: Dogamy and Dogaressa.  
_ These two characters make any discussion of the timeline a gigantic pain. Many people theorize one hundred years or more must have passed between Chara and Frisk’s time; most monsters don’t know what a human looks like, so they figure nearly everyone who ever met the previous humans must be dead. But Asgore could not have won the trophy on his own, so the ‘98 competition had to have been held while he and Toriel were still together. Since Dogamy and Dogaressa do not appear very old at all and participated in the same contest, the time between Chara and Frisk falling _must_ be significantly shorter than the lifetime of a single ordinary monster. There has to be some other reason monsters don’t know what humans look like. I decided on Chara being reclusive and the other children trying to keep a low profile on their own journeys.

“ _I don’t have [a last name],” they said, relenting while still appearing defiant. “I gave it up when I fell down and never got another.”  
_ The operative word in the story of Chara and Asriel is “like _”_ , as in “like siblings.” If Chara had been adopted as a Dreemurr there would not be a need for that qualifier.

 _Frisk exhaled sharply through their nose. “Holder. As in ‘placeholder’.”  
_ Chara picks up on what Frisk means so easily because they’re the one who made this observation in the first place. The Interlude takes place before this scene, so Chara is essentially interpreting their own joke.

 _Frisk seemed about to protest but instead closed their mouth and nodded.  
_ Frisk was about to Load here. They realized, however, they had technically fulfilled their condition for this Save point (have Frisk and Chara each tell something new about themselves). They know at some level they are getting frustrated so they back off.

 _Interlude: CONTINUE On  
_ The Interludes were a very late addition, or at least putting them into place so early was. In my original outline the first Interlude would not take place until after Chara learned about Saves and Loads. While going over chapter 4 I realized it was not entirely clear what was actually happening and what was making Frisk act so strange. It made Frisk too much of a cipher to have them learn from and react to events and circumstances the reader would not be aware of for a dozen chapters, so I decided to intersperse the Interludes through the rest of the narrative. In retrospect this is probably the single most important decision I made in the entire fic: Chara not remembering Loads is the obvious point differentiating this story from many other similar novelizations of the Undertale story, and concealing it for 3/4 of the fic would have been a serious mistake.

 _Adoptive parents want a happy, smiling, white infant they could pretend is their own flesh and blood, that they can look at and sometimes forget does not share their blood._  
This is a real issue in the foster care and adoption systems: there is a high demand and low supply for white children and a surplus of minority children but especially black and Hispanic kids. For the record even Frisk is not sure what demographic they belong to; they suspect they are Latin@ but can’t be sure.

 _Thoroughly Bonetrousled  
_ At about this point I was in the market for a new beta reader, my old one no longer having the time nor inclination to assist (they were not _that_ big a fan of Undertale and their own projects were calling). I tried a couple different people, but they either did not have the time or did not have the interest. Given the choice between going on indefinite hiatus to find one or posting without a beta, I decided to go beta-less.

 _Chara crossed their arms. “I’m still not sitting on his lap. That’s for babies.”  
_ An adult does not feel the need to prove they are an adult (they may not _feel_ like an adult depending on their living situation but that’s not the same thing). Only a child worries about seeming to be too much of a child; their protests that they are not a child are the proof they are not yet an adult. Chara might pretend to be aloof and worldly, but they are actually quite immature in their unguarded moments (heh heh, ButtsPie).

“ _He likes to say ‘Nyeh heh heh’? I am not sure what else you are expecting of me.” Papyrus laughed his mentioned trademark laugh as another row of bones lazily crawled past Frisk.  
_ Papyrus laughs after you Check him as though he’s responding to his own Check description. He is one of the very few monsters that do this. This is what originally gave me the idea that Papyrus can see and hear Chara.

 _Frisk bit their lip trying to think of something. “I can make paskemi?”  
_ My wife pronounced “spaghetti” like this when she was very young, and she will do it now when she’s feeling whimsical. In case you’re wondering how I got this specific malapropism.

 _Chara just kept smiling. “He’s using gravity magic on you. This one’s a pretty complicated and potent spell, making you heavy on the ground and lighter in the air.”  
_ In my humble opinion, what we see in a game or movie is not a representation of how things in that world work but a translation of that world which makes sense within the mechanics and capabilities of the medium. I die a little inside when I read an Undertale fic and battles are described as seeing a heart in a box with a row of buttons and a hit point counter underneath it. Then I close the browser window. The heart in the box is how battles are presented to us as players, but everything the characters experience has to look and feel realistic to them. This principle informed how I would interpret all the battles and the various soul modes, starting here with Papyrus’ blue attack. I think it worked out really well. As a side note, I also interpreted each color of magic as having a different specialty; purple magic turns physical objects into data and back again (it’s how the phone boxes work), what’s called “healing magic” is a combination of green binding magic to stitch wounds together and yellow energy magic to re-energize damaged tissue, etc. I did this mostly to codify what magic can and can’t do, because what makes magic interesting is its limitations. Magic that can do absolutely anything at any time is boring; it becomes the solution for all things, and there is no dramatic tension when any conflict can be resolved with the right spell. Brandon Sanderson wrote a trio of articles, “Sanderson’s Laws” which go into more detail about this, I strongly recommend any aspiring writer who wishes to include fantastic elements from magic to psychics to superpowers in their stories to read them.

 _Supposedly the colors represent your strongest trait: yellow for justice, blue for integrity, cyan for patience, purple for perseverance, green for kindness, orange for bravery… and I don’t remember what red signifies but I know it was stupid.”_  
Chara does not tell Frisk what red means because they are embarrassed about it: when you’re trying to be cool and edgy you don’t want to tell people your greatest strength is love. Caring about stupid stuff like that is part of how Chara’s childishness manifests itself.

“ _So, what if I don’t defeat the blue attack… I just get rid of all his other bullets? Come on, I’ll show you.”  
_ Everything Frisk does after breaking out of “jail” is a setpiece I brainstormed for a hypothetical Undertale anime. Obviously that isn’t going to happen, and if it does I won’t be involved in its production, but it was cute and silly and was a way of getting through the fight that wasn’t just “dodge stuff until Papyrus gets bored and lets you win”.

 _The date was… indescribable. Chara felt embarrassed on Frisk’s behalf just thinking about it.  
_ Yes, I skipped the Papyrus date. Can’t improve upon perfection.

* * *

**WATERFALL ARC**

 

 _“In a certain country, there is a tribe with a unique punishment for anyone who commits a crime against their own family.”  
_ The meaning of this story should be clear on a re-read; this was the one and only time Chara tried to talk to Asriel about what happened to them on the surface, and they did it in a very impersonal way. Not only was Asriel extremely disturbed, he completely missed the point. I find it hard to believe Chara would _never_ talk about why they hated humanity with Asriel, but it fits Chara’s personality to have attempted to do so in so roundabout a fashion that Asriel did not recognize what Chara was trying to tell them.

“I don’t like that story either, Ree. Forget I mentioned it.” _  
_ I’m hardly the only or even the first writer to have Chara refer to Asriel by the nickname “Ree”, but I can honestly say I didn’t steal it from anyone. My thoughts were as follows: Chara would not be able to resist turning “Azz” or “Azzy” into “Ass” at some point and even Asriel would not tolerate that kind of thing for long. While pondering this I watched a comic dub where Chara called him “Rie” (pronounced REE-eh), which grated at my ears and I thought, “Why wouldn’t they just use Ree?” And, well, there you go.

“ _Monsters come in lots of shapes and sizes so it can be tough to tell the difference between a child and a monster that’s just naturally small. If the kids are all in stripes you can tell at a glance who needs looking after and who would feel patronized.”  
_ I want to say I stole this idea from Ebbot’s Wake by TimeCloneMike, but to be honest it’s been a while since I read it and the story is a tad on the lengthy side to breeze through just to verify.

“ _It’s 204X now? I’ve been dead more than thirty years?”  
_ Precisely one person has guessed why I chose to set the timeline to thirty years between Chara’s death and Frisk’s fall. Maybe more than that has, but none of them bothered to comment soooooo…

 _Chara swallowed, the smile disappearing from their face. “You can’t read.”  
_ Some people have Chara reading the signs for Frisk because monsters have a different writing system. But the Nice Cream Man's punch cards have a message which is clearly English. So my solution for why Chara reads things aloud: Frisk has undiagnosed dyslexia. Dyslexia’s most infamous symptom is difficulty in reading. Secondary symptoms include an inability to understand jokes and wordplay, a smaller than typical vocabulary, and minor speech impairments. Poor self-esteem is also very common, but is due to social factors rather than a direct result of the disability. Among other things, it means every spelling mistake in Frisk’s dialogue is 100% intentional.

“ _Friendship headbutt!” he called out gleefully. “We’re friends now!”_ _  
_ I wish I could say I had come up with the idea of the friendship headbutt all on my own, but I actually got it from [this comic](http://benteja.tumblr.com/post/154381576628) by benteja. Thanks to [Cyrus67](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyrus67/pseuds/Cyrus67) for finding this for me again!

“ _Suddenly, it’s a concert!”  
_ This scene was probably a mistake. It sounded fun in my head but doesn’t do much to move the plot forward and the song lyrics are gratuitous (not to mention they took forever to translate and parse). I probably still would not have done a statue scene even if I cut this out; there’s really only one way to do a statue scene with the music box playing and it’s been done by people way more talented than me. Besides, there's enough upcoming Chara angst to go without.

“ _Humans are supposed to be tough to kill. They would never die to a fire, or being left in the cold, or water, or even… a fall.”_  
I had a rough time coming up with a rationale for why Undyne knocks the bridge out from underneath you in the game. Her goal is to kill you in a way that allows her to get your soul, and causing the bridge to collapse either allows Frisk to escape or kills them in the fall, guaranteeing the soul will vanish by the time she can get down there to claim it. I decided on “the bridge is too rickety to stand having a pitched battle on and she figures the fall won’t kill a human because humans never die from a fall in anime”.

 _They had not meant to fall, not at that time or in that way. It was entirely possible they would have jumped willingly if they had been allowed a few more minutes. But they had tripped, they had not been ready, and so the fall had failed to kill them.  
_ Some authors posit that Chara tried to kill themself. But only falls when their foot gets caught on a root. It’s an accident. That doesn’t mean they were not suicidal (a well-adjusted kid isn’t going to think of, let alone execute, the buttercups plan on their own), but this time at least it was not suicide.

“ _Come on, take my hand. You still shouldn’t walk on that leg. I’ll take you to New Home and we’ll have a better look at it.”  
_ There is a theory floating around that Chara lived at Home and their coming is what prompted the monsters to open up the rest of the underground and found New Home. I don’t subscribe to this: Home has only three chairs at the dining table and one bed in the children’s room (implying there was only ever one child occupant) and the story the monsters tell in New Home say Asriel brought Chara back to the castle, which is only ever used to refer to New Home. This brings up the logistics issue of Asriel dragging Chara through literally the entire underground, but the Riverperson and elevators would make this not quite as huge a trek. The “Chara causes the pilgrimage to New Home” theory also would not make sense in my condensed timeline; if all the monsters lived in the Ruins prior to the capital being founded, the monster population could not explode so fast for there to be overcrowding issues throughout the Underground a mere thirty years later.

 _Chara’s own arm hung limply, but there was no pain so it was probably just exhaustion. Hopefully._ _  
_ This is one of the few places I deliberately chose to contradict canon. The image of Asriel helping Chara walk shows Chara with an apparently normal walk and a limp arm, suggesting it was their arm that got hurt in the fall. I chose to hurt Chara’s leg because with the way I characterized them at the time of their fall they would not have called out for help unless they had absolutely no choice.

“ _whatever you’re doing isn’t something a ghost like me can do. it isn’t possession because you can’t control their body. and it’s not absorption because they don’t get any of your power. you seem to be just, stuck together. like a piece of your soul got anchored onto their physical body.”_  
This is not a bad guess, given what Napstablook understands of the situation. At one point in the writing process this literally was going to be the answer to how Chara and Frisk were stuck together, but shortly before publishing the first chapter I hit the inspiration with Asriel’s soul chaining the humans’ souls together. I left this in to set up Chara’s next line about haunting Frisk, because there is no reason to throw away a joke even if it isn’t a very good one.

 _Frisk stared with open-mouthed fascination, reaching out before anyone could stop them. “So this little thing is your-!” As their fingers brushed against the red line on Chara’s chest they jerked backward suddenly, letting loose a tiny yip of pain.  
_ Subtle foreshadowing for the “But it refused” event and why Chara does not attempt to do this earlier. Touching someone else’s soul without permission HURTS.

 _Chara put their hand to their chest, feeling the color leave their face. “I… I can’t feel love.”  
_ I got a lot of questions about this from several different people, most of them some variant of “so how does Chara not being able to feel love work when it’s really obvious how much they care for Frisk?” I answered that Chara could still be affected by love but could not feel love itself. The best analogy I could come up with without spoiling the ultimate reveal is that it was like taking a whole bunch of caffeine after an all-nighter; you don’t want to sleep but can still tell your mind is sluggish and your body won’t work properly. You can’t feel tired but are still being affected by your tiredness.

 _Juice boxes, apples in the shape of crabs, some books and old reading glasses… nothing they really needed, but the items were not the most valuable find.  
_ The book and glasses are associated with the Perseverance soul. In my headcanon the Perseverance soul did not bring these items with them to the Underground; the child was poor and black, so they never got an opportunity to develop their gifts and this led to being so dissatisfied with life they decided to climb the mountain. Gerson provided these items to them after noting how studious the child was.

“ _Well, the opposites of those are hatred, cruelty, and savagery. They’re poisonous to monsters. If a human struck us with emotions like that we’d be done for. But it’s not good for us if we feel that stuff, either. It worms its way inside, makes us weak and feeble. It ages us, and that’s how we grow old.”_  
This was the solution I came up with for the longevity of some but not all monsters: Gerson very carefully takes care of his emotional health so he survived for over a millennium. Dogamy and Dogaressa hardly age at all between the ‘98 Nose Nuzzling Competition and the time the game starts because they are in a permanent honeymoon phase. Meanwhile Sans has had it rough, so he’s aged as fast or perhaps even faster than a human would in the same timeframe. You can bet I’ll go into more detail about Sans’ backstory in the sequel.

 _He took a sip of his tea to collect his thoughts. He gave Frisk a patient smile. “Red means ‘love’.”  
_ I expected to get a lot of pushback about this; red being determination is so ubiquitous it’s treated as canon. Basically nobody saw a problem with it, though. I’m not sure whether that’s because I successfully argued my case or whether people don’t care about it that much.

 _[Gerson] knew. He could not see Chara but he knew._  
A couple people asked me how Gerson knows about Chara, and I never got a chance to explore this in the narrative. The short version of the story is that the first couple humans weren’t clever enough to hide Chara from Gerson, and Gerson has been around long enough to be able to recognize patterns (specifically, if a human comes through asking about soul colors but doesn’t know what red means it’s because Chara told them).

 _Chara pinched the bridge of their nose. “What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate._  
Chara has heard this phrase before on the 201X internet but the odds are low that they’ve ever actually seen  Cool Hand Luke. And I don't say that just because, uh, I haven't seen it either.

“ _You… you have meltdown and you still became captain of the Royal Guard?! You idiot! You absolute idiot! Don’t you know how dangerous that is? You should be in bed, you should be-”  
_ Chara is being a casual ableist here; Undyne is very well aware of the limitations her health places on her and it’s not up to Chara to decide what she “should” be doing. To be fair, Chara’s experience with C3 is from Sans, who really does have to take it easy. They don’t mean any harm by it, but as has been shown Chara can be pretty thoughtless concerning the feelings of others when they’re under stress.

 _I don’t think anybody but Dr. Gaster has ever examined a human, so is it okay if we go in order rather than skip anything?”  
_ This slides by if you aren’t paying attention, but W.D. Gaster has been around since before the war. This appears to be a contradiction; Gerson mentioned that being angry and hateful ages monsters, so how did someone as surly as Gaster survive for that long? How indeed.

“ _HP of 7 is still not good for a human, it’s barely more than a fifth of what it should be for your age, but it’s not-”_  
If you bother to do the math out this means Frisk and their 20 HP is also lower than average. From the snippets we get of their history this ought not to be a very big surprise.

 _Chara sat on the examination table and kicked their legs in the air. They read all the posters around the room, infographics with titles like “Falling Down: Know the Signs” and “A Healthy Child Starts with Choosing Who Will Carry”.  
_ This throwaway line here is the only indication in the entire fic that monsters are, biologically speaking, without sex. Any monster can carry the child, and any monster can donate their material. I didn’t go into detail because it isn’t important to this fic, but there will surely be an opportunity to explore the idea in-depth in the sequel.

 _That was when the lights came back on, revealing the shape of their visitor: a skeleton like Dr. Gaster, but much shorter and dressed in blue shorts and a blue and white striped shirt. The stranger chuckled, “Heh heh, I put a whoopie cushion in my hand. Surprised you, huh?”_ _  
_ Of course, Sans is in a striped shirt here because he’s a child. I consider Sans’ all-lowercase dialogue as a symptom of his crippling depression; things are fine with him as a kid so he doesn’t have that speech tic yet.

 _The table was small and very low to the ground; there was only one seat, and it seemed more like a pillow with a backrest than an actual chair._  
I gave Undyne a Japanese-style low table, less because of her obsession with anime than because there’s clearly no chair on Undyne’s side of the table and she is able to sit there anyway.

“ _He and his brother make a pretty good singing pair though, you should see ‘em at karaoke night!”_  
This is a reference to the “Drop Pop Candy” series of Youtube videos featuring Papyrus and Sans.

“ _It will be easier for us to forget you and move on if you’re not a person, not a name. Just the eighth human and nothing more than that.”_  
Of course, we know the reason none of the monsters ask for your name in the game is to preserve the reveal of Frisk’s identity. It seemed a little odd to me that this course of action made sense in-universe, though, given how friendly monsters are portrayed as. So I imagined something like this was going on in the background.

* * *

 

**HOTLAND ARC**

 

 _But put them together and… Well, that was how things like Operation Fire Sled happened._ _  
_ This particular incident is loosely based on the time my siblings and I set up a ramp at the bottom of a steep hill and then rode an overloaded toboggan off it. I couldn’t breathe right for a week after that one.

“ _Is it B, Mercy?” Frisk asked hopefully.  
_ This was my response when I played the game through the first time. I caught Alphys’ hand signals around the third question. And yes, I got tripped up by the Froggit T-shirt.

“ _All right human, for the game and your continued survival, who, does Doctor Alphys have a crush on?” Frisk bit their lower lip in concentration. Alphys waved her arms frantically, imploring them not to say anything at all. “Is it… me?”  
_ I went back and forth on what Frisk’s answer would be. It doesn’t actually make sense for Frisk to intuit she has a crush on Undyne since Alphys hasn’t dropped any of her massive hints yet. I went with “the human” in the end simply because it was the funniest option while being the least intrusive.

“ _Oh, uh, it was nothing. I thought I was going to have to make the letters with my hands. I guess it’s just, uh, lucky you knew sign, uh…”  
_ It is an incredibly common bit of fanon that Frisk knows sign, originally because people thought Frisk is mute because they do not have any lines we hear. But why would Chara narrate Frisk’s lines word for word? Frisk already knows what they’re saying. I kept it because in doing research I found some people with dyslexia have an easier time learning sign than other languages. Frisk was originally taught sign because one of their guardians believed they might be deaf.

 _Chara Dreemurr. What a joke.  
_ At the time this comes up in the narrative it isn’t 100% clear how badly hurting Asgore broke Chara. Rereading this line after the “family picture” memory in the final battle makes the meaning more clear: this is the moment Chara gives up on ever being part of a happy family. Asriel says they should have “laughed it off like you did”, implying that in retrospect Asriel and the other Dreemurrs didn’t think that much of the incident; they goofed but nobody died so we can all move past it. But Chara couldn’t. Over a year of healing got wiped away in one awful moment; they backslid hard and never fully recovered.

 _Chara took a shaky breath. “Have you been seeing my memories?”  
_ I did not originally intend to end the chapter here, but the original way I had Frisk and Chara’s fight progressing involved a lot more screaming. Chara is normally very passive about their aggression (the line “I don’t know why I expected any different from a human” in particular is ice cold) so it didn’t make sense for them to flip out on Frisk, but I did not have the time to rewrite the scene. So I cut it at the key line to create a cliffhanger and give myself another week to put it together.

“ _Those poor spiders! Who would do such a thing?” Chara pouted, eyeing Frisk in mock-suspicion.  
_ My wife and I are both very passionate about spiders. We think they are cute and refer to the spiders we find in our house as “pets”. Most spiders can’t hurt you, their poison either being too weak to hurt humans or their fangs being too small to penetrate skin. The obvious exceptions to this are black widows and brown recluses. Anyway, this is something my wife says when someone talks about killing spiders in front of her.

 _Oh, now this was an interesting spell._  
I have a loose idea in my head of the specialties of all the different types of magic… except orange magic. I still don’t have a good handle on how to justify the way it works in the game without overlapping with other types of magic. My concepts of blue, red, and green magic are already a bit too close to each other for my liking.

 _Muffet winked back with a giggle. “Oh, don't worry. I have more self-control than that. Besides, you're much too young, not even out of your stripes! I just thought I'd… leave the door open. Come along, everyone! Let's get them tea and see them to the top of the tower!”_  
A day after publishing I stealth-edited this line to make it more clear that Muffet is not, in fact, a pedophile.

 _Chara regarded the phone with utter disdain. “Alphys thinks Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 sucks.”_  
This doesn’t come across well here because we never hear Alphys’ side of the story, but I think of their disagreement as a legitimate controversy with no clearly correct answer. Sort of like how there is still debate to this day in some anime circles about whether _Eiken_ and _Mayoiga_ were intended as parodies of their genres or they are just really bad.

 _It was a beautiful red dagger, with whorls and eddies on the flat of the blade and the edge still quite sharp despite its obvious age. “Damascus steel”, he called it, though Chara was uncertain what made that different from normal steel.  
_ Damascus steel is characterized by the distinctive patterns of banding and mottling along the flats of blades; I’m not exactly a metallurgist but I can’t think of anything else which would create the rather odd series of marks on the blade depicted in the Real Knife’s Steam card.

 _Sans had a look on his face like he was filing this away for later use. “what’s with that reaction? am i wrong?”  
_ The way I read this scene in the game is, Sans suspects Frisk is the anomaly and is trying to get a reaction out of them. They assume it was very likely Loads happen when the human dies, so making a dad-level joke about it allows them to test the water while not being too suspicious if he guessed wrong.

“ _it would have allowed them to take energy from the past which dissipated without being used… well, that’s a little much for a kid to understand.”  
_ The cover story Gaster used to justify his experiments to Asgore was about reaching back into time to collect a monster’s soul the instant they died; as long as there was even .0001 seconds between the monster’s death and their soul disappearing it should have been possible to reach back to that exact instant and snag it. Of course, that’s not what Gaster was actually after. This will get touched on in the sequel.

“ _if you wanna tell me some random person told you about him i can accept that, but…” His shoulders sagged and he stared as if looking at something very far away. “i’m kinda hoping you could throw me a bone here.”_  
Remember, Sans knows exactly what’s going on here. He’s offering Frisk and Chara a chance to prove they are trustworthy by coming clean about something he already knows.

“ _Next you’ll say, ‘Enough of this! Do you really want humanity to perish?’”_  
“Enough of this!” Mettaton shouted. “Do you really want humanity to perish?” He realized what had just happened and gasped.  
A reference to JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 2.

 _Interlude: ERASE Your Sins_  
This was the most painful of the Interludes to write. Let’s not mince words, Frisk is a complete asshole here. Their patience is down to nothing and they feel they are above consequences. They have long forgotten Flowey’s weird speech at the end of the Ruins.

“ _There’s a trick to it: I said your name and you appeared. Heh heh, you’re like a doggie, coming when your name is call-”_  
In retrospect, this is a pretty ham-handed way to trigger this particular flashback.

 _Between their sobs they said, “I am the demon… who comes when their name is called.”  
_ I might be alone in this, but I always read Chara’s assumption of this title in a second Genocide route not to be triumphant, but profoundly sad. With the backstory I’ve given Chara it’s especially so. A post-Genocide Chara has accepted Those People were right about them all along, that they bring misery and pain to the people they love and they are 100% deserving of the treatment they received on the surface.

“ _Fuck the monsters, and fuck you Chara.”_  
Eight year olds know the “f” word, right? I learned it long before then but I think my childhood may not have been typical.

“ _You know what I think, Chara?” They felt bile in their throat. Some tiny voice in the back of their mind cried out, telling them to stop, to not do this, that what they were about to say next crossed a line which must never be crossed. That voice faded and was silent before the violent storm in Frisk’s mind._  
Frisk’s temper is one of their biggest and least attractive flaws. The way they explode and lash out verbally and physically is not okay. At the end of the story they’ve acknowledged it as a problem but it hasn’t really been resolved.

* * *

 

**NEW HOME ARC**

 

 _“It’s a family photograph,” Chara said wistfully, putting a hand over their heart to soothe the sudden ache. “Everyone is smiling.”  
_ Though there’s no evidence to confirm this, I believe the photo on the dresser is the same as the “family” portrait shown during the tail end of the Asriel fight. This is why I believe Frisk almost assuredly knows of Chara’s identity by this point in the story; only one person’s face is visible yet the narrator knows everyone was smiling at that point in time.

“ _It’s a gardening tool,” Chara said, mildly offended. “Perfect for cutting plants and vines. Why would you think it’s a weapon?”_  
Pacifist Chara remembers using the knife to cut plants, so to them the Worn Dagger is a gardening tool. On the Genocide Route their perception has been warped by LOVE to the point where they can only see items for their use in combat, so they recognize the same item as a Real Knife.

“… _and a pink hand knit sweater that says ‘Mr. Dad Guy’.”_  
This might be an instance of me trying to be too cute.

“ _Humans are the worst creatures in the world. They’re petty, cruel, ignorant, and hateful. They see something that doesn’t fit in and they destroy it. But they are also many, and they are strong. Monsters are kind, loving, caring, and gentle… but they are weak, and they are few. Even one human could kill dozens of monsters, and there are billions of them on the surface. If the barrier comes down the war will start again. But humans don’t have magic anymore. They can’t put up a new barrier so they won’t have a merciful option. Monsters would be wiped out in an instant, they don’t stand a chance. But monsters are the only people that have ever shown me love, and I don’t want to live in a world without love. I want the monsters to live even if it means humans don’t.”  
_ It’s ridiculous to claim an 8-12 year old would come up with a complicated plan involving their own suicide just to murder some people. But to claim Asriel would not fight back even in self-defense isn’t giving him enough credit. So from the moment I heard the story about the village this is how I envisioned it happening: Chara did not originally plan on killing people, but in the heat of the moment had a dark epiphany and decided it was a good idea. Asriel did not intend on letting himself get killed, but he was taken aback and confused and his moment of hesitation ended poorly. Mind you, this was my first time through the game, before I thought about the themes of the story or had even heard of Narrator Chara. From the very beginning I had sympathy for the demon.

‘ _Ree, please, they’re hurting us! We have to fight back! We have to kill them, or we’re going to be killed!’_  
This is the line that sticks with Asriel past his death. He decided Chara was right, that the world was ‘kill or be killed’.

“ _there were six humans that knew Gaster, but we know where the souls of five of them are. kinda narrows it down.”  
_ This is not a counting error: one of the humans never met Gaster because the accident had already occurred.

 _Their immediate thought was, Cartoons were right, you really do hear birds and see stars. Their second thought was incoherent keening._  
This was my exact reaction to getting concussed.

“ _Oh riiiiight, you must be so confused right now! As a little thank you for helping me achieve the one thing I hadn’t done yet, I’ll tell you a story!”_  
Flowey’s story has certain parallels with a player’s mindset on the Genocide route that simply don’t resonate on Pacifist, but I put this story here because it was important to understanding Flowey.

 _Flowey’s eyes went from the pocket to Frisk’s face and back again. He tilted his head and nodded in a slow, knowing way. “Oh. OH. I see how it is now.”_  
Monsters can’t tell humans apart very well. So when Flowey sees the locket hanging out of Frisk’s pocket, he realizes A) this human knows about the significance of that locket so they must be Chara, and B) they aren’t wearing it so Chara must still be so furious about what happened in the village that they don’t consider Asriel their friend anymore. Obviously this pisses Flowey right off and leads into the fight.

“ _No… NO!” Chara covered their mouth and shook their head in wide-eyed horror. “It’s not true! Y-you can’t be… you can’t be…!”_  
As many people guessed, this is the moment Chara figures out Flowey’s true identity. Flowey attempting to taunt Frisk by calling him ‘weird’ is the trigger, as this was Chara’s affectionate insult for Asriel.

“ _Just so you know, now that I’m powered by human souls my bullets are way stronger than they used to be. They’ll blow through monsters like tissue paper, and even a human body is no defense against them. It’s not just your soul in danger anymore, you’ll get blown to pieces no matter where I hit you.”_  
Having established that bullets aren’t actually a very good weapon against humans, the problem came with how having a human soul could make a monster so powerful. The solution was to make the damage bullets caused real. Remember for a moment the streams of fire Asriel could use at the very beginning of his fight. Now imagine if every single one of those flames could kill someone instantly. “Asriel had the power to destroy them all”, indeed.

 _The television screen filled with static, and Flowey’s face could only be dimly seen. “No! The souls are rebelling! They’re… you’re leaving me!”_  
Part of the reason I skipped the soul segments of the Flowey fight was that the chapter was a bit long already. A more important reason, though, is that I had not yet developed their personalities and stories. I had only gotten a little bit better at this by the time the end of the Asriel fight came around; when it was time for this to be posted I didn’t even have that much.

 _They were going to kill Flowey, and if they had to do it in cold blood then so be it.  
_ I did not originally plan the scene to play out like this. Instead, when I reached it and considered what Frisk’s headspace was like and how I’d characterized them up to this point, this is what came out. Chara and Frisk are both being true to their characters, and that’s what makes the scene work.

“ _So together you and I can get one person through the barrier.” They held up their index finger. “Just one.”_  
There is some debate over what, exactly, happens in a Neutral route. Whether the barrier is ahead or behind, whether Frisk was trapped or destroyed by the barrier, whatever. This is how I always figured the ending played out; Frisk is able to leave through the barrier with a combination of their soul and Chara’s soul, but we cannot follow what happens to them afterward because going through kills Chara and severs our connection to Frisk.

“ _I’m really glad we met. Be good, won’t you?… My friend.”_  
This scene is the oldest in the work. Originally I was going to post this as a one-shot, but I was unable to complete writing it before I got the idea of expanding the Save Chara section into a fic spanning the entire game. I wasn’t going to write the scene twice, so I slotted it into the proper spot in this fic instead. Also, a minor plot hole here: Chara often takes after Toriel’s speech patterns, and there are obvious similarities between what Chara says here and what Toriel says following a normal (not Genocide or betrayal) kill. The hole comes in when one wonders, “How the heck would Chara know what Toriel would say in that situation?” Yeah, I’ve got nothing.

“ _I tried to delete your Save, but… I couldn’t actually do it. I could stop you from Loading but that was it. I told you I did because, let’s be honest, the look on your face when I did was priceless. I figured I would kill you and you’d never learn I was lying.”_  
This is another instance of me scrambling to come up with an explanation why what happens in the game actually makes sense. Flowey lies when he tells you he deleted your save file… why? This is my answer.

 _The song continued but the voice was different now. It was a crystal-clear mezzo-soprano, less confident than Toriel’s singing but with no reason for a lack of faith._  
I’m not sure where the fanon that Chara is a good singer came from but I’ll take it.

* * *

**TRUE PACIFIST ARC**

" _i only personally saw the sixth and seventh die. i have my suspicions about the others, but i know for a fact asgore didn’t kill them. for all his power his LOVE is still 1, and before you go giving me the stinkeye mine is too.”_

After he is defeated Asgore regrets making the proclamation to take the souls of fallen humans but never expresses remorse for killing them. His extreme reluctance to fight you is also odd; if he had already killed six humans before Frisk came along, his increased LOVE should have made it easier to deal harm. Instead he gives you every option to back out and holds back from dealing the killing blow (if you have more than 1 HP, an attack that would otherwise kill you will instead reduce you to 1 HP). Taking these two facts together gave me the idea that Asgore never killed anyone; Frisk is the first human he actually attempted to fight to the death. This does not make him blameless by any means, and opens up further questions of how the humans died if Asgore did not do the deed.

 _Chara reached up with trembling fingers and grabbed Papyrus’s hand. “H-How are you doing this? Even Frisk can’t touch me…” “Oh? Perhaps I can touch you because I don’t know I shouldn’t be able to.”_  
Papyrus is obviously being evasive, but Chara does not push the issue. The source of Papyrus’ powers and abilities will be explored in the sequel.

“ _Olympic Games gives me the option to boycott the games at the cost of DEFCON. If I do that, DEFCON will drop to 1 and end the game with your loss.”_  
This is a real rules issue newbies to _Twilight Struggle_ will sometimes fall into. Papyrus being into board games is canonical (if Toriel is ousted in the neutral route Sans mentions the three of them play board games sometimes), but I decided on this particular game because it shows that Papyrus is very much _not_ stupid, and the rules hang-up is both edge-case enough so that it makes sense to have tripped Chara up while not being so esoteric that it would require a detailed explanation of the game’s rules.

“ _Will you stay for breakfast?” Papyrus asked. “I don’t have spaghetti ready, but we have plenty of oatmeal. It’s the kind with the dinosaur eggs in it!”_  
See the official 2016 anniversary Ask blog for more details on Papyrus and oatmeal. Just remember, it was being run by an Annoying Dog.

“ _I can understand not wanting to kill someone defenseless, but to try and put myself between you and him…? I’m sorry, I’m not sure what I would have been thinking.”  
_ Because Chara’s realization was based on the exact words Flowey used, Frisk’s summary is unable to trigger the same deductive reasoning.

“ _And be nice to Alphys! It’s not her fault Undyne likes her, so it’s not fair to get mad at her for stealing Undyne away.”  
_ When Frisk learned Alphys was only trying to protect her king they forgave her for lying to them. Also, for Frisk this feels like ages ago. That’s how we get from Alphys’ betrayal making them angry enough to use profanity in ERASE Your Sins to here where they ask Chara to be nice to her.

“ _It’s full of nothing but…” Frisk frowned deeply, letting the sentence trail away. “Popato chisps.” Chara gave Frisk a small wink, and the human child smiled back.  
_ Chara knows what potato chips are, they pronounced it correctly when looking in Sans’ fridge. And the items in the vending machine really are chips, Alphys refers to them that way. So why does Chara call them “popato chisps” here? Chara is being playful and using a malapropism on purpose. That they use it here and not earlier implies “chisps” was something Frisk said to them, which in combination with Chara reading off all the signs is what led me to surmise Frisk might have dyslexia.

 _Chara swallowed, laughing once. “Seems like it’s losing itself. Its mind is so far gone it doesn’t remember how to use bullets anymore.”_  
I’m not too proud to admit realizing this is what was happening to Snowy’s mom _broke_ me. I lost my maternal grandmother to dementia and I imagine this is the monster equivalent. Even thinking about it now gets me pretty close to “not okay”.

“ _It says the one who has seen the surface will ‘return’ to free the monsters. That must mean they begin their journey here underground, see the surface, and then come back to free everyone. I have seen the surface, but I was always there. I am not ‘returning’ underground, so it can’t be referring to me.”_ _  
_ More than one author/artist has posited Chara must have believed themself to be the angel of the prophecy (such as the aforementioned flavor-text-chara tumblr). I think Chara was a little too smart to go with such an easy solution, especially because their lack of self-esteem would cause them to immediately look for ways to reject this mantle placed on them. After all, they can’t possibly be that powerful and important!

“ _How long will I live underground? Seventy years? Eighty? More? But we have the power to get things started now. We can get started on freeing everyone now, so why wait?”_  
Chara’s lack of patience coming to the forefront here. There are other reasons I made Patience Chara’s worst trait: they get annoyed with you for wasting time, repeatedly examining objects, and in the Ruins straight-up tell you the solutions to the colored switch puzzle if you’re having trouble understanding the puzzle’s gimmick. Even in Genocide mode they get annoyed with any distractions from the mission.

 _Toriel had said Asgore might have died if the pie had not been burnt. Heat destroyed the poison. It would weaken its power, and they would not get another chance at this._ _  
_ This is true: rananculus poison breaks down at high temperatures.

 _It would not be long now. Soon Chara would give this family and these people the one gift it was in their power to give: freedom._  
Many authors, acting under the assumption that Chara’s main trait was Determination and this would have kept them alive for some time, often depict Chara’s illness as a drawn-out, wasting affair. Or perhaps they thought making them suffer longer would make them more sympathetic. But I take the story the monsters tell at their word: “One day the human became very ill. […] The next day, the human died.” It was over _fast_.

 _Chara cried hysterically, “I thought you would just get my power! Why didn’t you tell me I’d still be me after being absorbed?!” ‘I didn’t know!’ Asriel howled. ‘Nobody knew! We always knew monsters could absorb human souls, but it had only ever happened once or twice and they never said anything about this!’  
_ The monsters did not know an absorbed human retained their consciousness, else they would have mentioned that detail while telling the story of Chara and Asriel. The humans did not know, or they would not have been so terrified of the possibility of a human soul being absorbed. So how did Chara know? The answer is clear: they didn’t. So any interpretation of Chara’s backstory which boils down to, “Chara tricked Asriel into absorbing their soul so they could go kill humans because they are a murderous psychopath” is objectively wrong, there is no way they could have known they would have any control over the Chara&Asriel combo pack.

 _After a minute Frisk rewound the tape to the beginning, saying nothing, betraying nothing. They removed the tape and returned it to an empty place on the shelf.  
_ Frisk doesn’t know what a VHS tape is, so they should not know it is a courtesy to rewind it to the beginning when you are done watching. I felt this scene required a pause to let the tension build, and Frisk very carefully putting the tape away gives the reader a chance to hold their breath.

 _They were holy so they were allowed to dictate what was profane, and they knew they were holy because they never committed a profane act._  
One thing I sort of regret is, there is an observation to be made about Those People that Chara is not insightful enough to make but no one else in the story has experience with. One commenter lamented how some people’s ideas of holiness can be evil, but the reality of the situation is that religion has less than nothing to do with how they treated Chara. Reading closely you can see their real problem with Chara wasn’t that they considered the child evil, but that Chara was disobedient. Chara insisted on determining their own identity and that was what could not be allowed. What Those People did was about power and control of someone smaller and weaker than them, religion was just the excuse they used to justify it to themselves. Expect an expansion on this idea in the sequel.

And of course if we were careful my sister and I could talk in her room late at night after Those People went to bed. She did not believe them at all, but fear of punishment kept her from speaking with me during the daylight hours. But at night she would tell me about school, and her friends, and her sports clubs, and so many other things.  
My sister came to check up on me and bring me soup or broth when she could get away with it, which was not often.  
Chara downplays the significance of this because they are still angry about her betrayal, but children who have no interaction with other people at all deteriorate very quickly. What happened to Chara is bad, but their outcome is much more positive than, say, Genie, Danielle, or other “feral children” (for the love of god don’t google any of those if you want to have any kind of faith in humanity). Chara’s sister saved their life in more than one way, and it may be unfair to judge her based on the one really bad thing she did. Why, are those some parallels I see? I think they are.

 _Frisk was biting their lower lip hard enough to draw blood. “I… guess that isn’t… the worst thing I’ve ever heard,” they seethed. “But it’s close.”  
_ Frisk has met and spoken to many kids in the foster care system, including many children who had to be temporarily or permanently taken away from their parents. They have _seen some shit_. On a related note, when developing the content and extent of Chara’s abuse I never for a single moment considered tacking sexual assault to the list of Those People’s sins. I feel like sexual abuse gets too much play from amateur authors and fanfic writers, where it’s the go-to trauma if you need something bad to happen to a character (especially a child or a woman) with no thought given to how it affects the tone of the work or the psychology of the perpetrator and victim.

 _Frisk shook their head. “I know that, but I can’t feel it. It’s wrong for you to take all the blame. I can’t say why, but I know it.”  
_ Frisk is right but for the wrong reasons. Chara is using a double-standard by taking the blame for every consequence of their suicide while absolving Those People for their role in Chara’s life: if Those People are not responsible for Chara’s actions, then Chara is not responsible for Asgore’s or Toriel’s or even Asriel’s actions, and vice versa. However, Frisk is denying Chara’s acceptance of all the blame not because of that but because Frisk’s high Love and low Justice leads them to prioritize their closest friends over anyone else; even if it isn’t fair to other people or Chara is objectively in the wrong Frisk will always take their side. Love is not the always-positive force media often portrays it as.

 _[Save Chara]_  
This section is the second-oldest passage in the entire fic, and has remained essentially unchanged from the first draft. I originally wrote the scene at the barrier and this scene as one-shots, but I decided the Save Chara portion would not have nearly the emotional impact if it were unclear what all was being referenced (with the added bonus that Frisk remembered every one of these side details from their journey despite everything else going on, because they are very thoughtful like that). In a way this scene is responsible for the entire fic being written. If I’m going to be arrogant enough to offer any writing advice it would be this: figure out where your story is going before you start. The ending should be one of the first things you plan out because endings are _hard_.

“ _They were just hasty, that’s all. You’ll forgive your hasty friend, won’t you?”_  
A reference to Mother 3. By the way, did you notice that Asriel didn’t actually answer this question? Don’t worry, Chara noticed too.

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this story, please leave a kudos and consider leaving a comment! No matter how old this fic may be, I will always enjoy receiving notifications that somebody has enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.   
> This fic was crossposted on ffn under the same author name.  
> Thank you for reading!


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